Not Another Glee Movie
by Frost58
Summary: Puck takes the bet to prove he's badass. Kurt has other plans. And what do Santana and Dave have to do with it?
1. Chapter 1

Here's my shot at another story. While figuring out this one I got an idea on how to proceed with my first one. This one is outlined and has other chapters prepared, so there won't be many weeks without updates if any.

I also created a YouTube playlist (tinyurl . com / NotAGM) for this fic, and may make one for the first story. Don't worry about that one song that doesn't show up in this fic where it should - that one's a special treat. A side story, but a treat.

I'll admit that I got the idea from other fics here, but also got tired of how... _repetitive_ the device itself is. I hope this twist is interesting.

And I have ideas for "Senior Year," so if you'd like this one to continue into Season 3, review and let me know.

Josh.

* * *

><p><span>Casting the LIne<span>

_Oh my Gaga… I'm going to be raped_ was Kurt's only thought as this Caveman crushed his lips, trying to force his tongue into his mouth. _The hang out spot for the 'cool' guys and no one's going to bother saving me_… Kurt blinks as his lips are suddenly cold and the pressure on his arms is gone. He sees Karofsky going in for another kiss and uses all the force he can to push him away. It works, the jock giving a screaming grunt, slamming the lockers before storming out. Kurt stayed in the locker room for what seemed like hours, waiting for his mind to find his body again.

(_)

_ What the FUCK did I just do? I kissed Hummel? Why the FUCKING __**HELL**__…_ Karofsky thinks as he storms down the hallway. He's going to turn right when he notices something.  
>"Is that..?" he whispers as he sees a phone. "Yep, Hummel's," he says as he looks around, seeing no one. He quickly unlocks it, bypasses the code screen, and punches in his number. He sends himself a quick text, then deletes it from the list. He props it against the wall so the screen doesn't get cracked. "I'm totally FUCKED!" he seethes as he heads to this MythSci-Fi class…

(_)

"What about it _Suckerman_, you man enough to pop a dude's cherry?" Azimio asks while leaning on his 2003 Civic. "It's the five of us, so if you do it, there's bank."

"Totally legit," chimes Mueller, waving a $100 bill.

"Think man, five easy Benjamins," Strando taunts. "All you gotta do is backdoor that fairy."

"Hey, that _fairy's_ kinda my friend asshole!" Puck sneers half-heartedly. _Why'd I do that_?

"Whatever," Karofsky mumbles. "You in?"

"Are you questioning my being a sex shark and a badass?"

"Yes. Yes. And MILFS don't count – that shit's played out. Hence the 'mom' part," Azimio says, deadpan.

"Whatever douche. Deal. But, let's say I for some reason _don't_ get to backdoor Hummel. Like he's so gay he needs to suck off RuPaul or some shit. What then?"

"We nair your head and you give us your truck," Greyson chimes in, nodding to the 1992 Chevy 1500.

"Whatever assholes. You better have my money on standby," Puck says as he gets into his truck and drives off. _A hole's a hole, right? But why do I feel like this is gonna end __**really **__badly?_

(_)

"Blaine, I'm really scared," Kurt cries as he flips from his back to his stomach, wincing. "I mean, he stopped, but what if –"

"_Kurt, he stopped, right? Let's take this one step at a time_," Blaine replies, hoping his soothing tone is working. "_Are you physically hurt from what he did_?"

"The kiss, no. But I can't get the sensations to stop," Kurt begins to sob. "I just can't…"

"_Kurt, this __isn't __your fault. If you have any guilt, you need to let it go_," Blaine continues, trying to reassure the young boy from the dorms at Dalton. "_He likely did that because he knew you wouldn't kill him or break his face_."

"That didn't help Blaine, but I get it. But why –"

"_Bully you so harshly? He could have been lashing out at thinking you did this to him. Or it could be some demented form of projection_."

"Bash the gay away by torturing someone else?"

"_Something like that. Is there __**any **__chance he'd talk? Or would that be like trying to take a honey badger's food_?"

"I don't want you getting hurt. I know how bad it hurts."

"_I know too. Would it be a horrendous idea? Me asking him to talk about what happened_?"

"…"

"_Kurt_?"

"He won't go into a Fat-Induced-Roid-Rage. Is that good enough?"

"_It's a start. It's time for dinner. Kurt_?"

"Yeah Blaine?"

"_Text me whenever you feel like you need to_."

"… Thank you Blaine. You don't need to do this."

"_Actually, I feel like I do. It was my bad, cryptic message that_ –"

"It's not your fault I got the intent wrong. Go, eat! I'll be fine."

"_Only if you text me later_."

"Done. Now go! I have to get dinner ready too."

"_Bye Kurt_," Blaine says as a door opens, then the line goes quiet.

(_)

_So far so good_ he thinks as he heads down the stairs. The fairy doesn't seem to have said anything. He gets to the second floor landing and takes a slight step back. Not only is Hummel there, but also with some prep-school douche. _This won't end well._

"David Karofsky? I'm Blaine Anderson."

Ignoring preppy, "This your boyfriend?" _Shit! Why'd my voice crack?_

"Kurt told me what happened."

"What, that he missed out on a sale at Nordstrom's?"

"No, the other thing. You're not alone."

"What do you mean alone?" _I think I'll nickname him Chiwawa._

"Maybe we should talk somewhere else Blaine," Kurt finally says something, a slight panicked edge to his voice. He shoots a pleading glance to the bully.

"Fine. But if you pull out a rainbow or glitterbomb me, I'm pounding your faces," he replies with a respectable amount of rage.

"Ok, follow me," Kurt says as he leads the boys to the science building. "And don't run. Don't forget that I did win Nationals for Coach Sylvester last year.

"Like I can forget" Dave mumbles as he rolls his eyes.

Once in an empty classroom they all sit down, looking very nervous. Dave looks like he's about to crawl out of his skin, Blaine looks like he's waiting for the ceiling to crash in, and Kurt looks like he's waiting to dig his own grave.

"I'm not sorry that I kissed you," as Dave folds his arms.

"What? That was my first kiss you jackoff!"

"What?" shout both boys, staring at Kurt.

"You mean..?" Dave asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes you dumb jock. Brittany doesn't count since she's kissed everyone here!"

"You didn't tell me that part last night…" Blaine trails off.

"What, while dry humping –"

"Just shut UP!" Kurt's outburst surprises both the jock and the vocalist. "Please, get this through your head: I'm NEVER going to willingly touch you, you're not my type, and I don't want you bullying me anymore. Just leave me alone and I'll do my best to forget you exist. Got it?"

Karofsky just gasps like a fish out of water and eventually nods. He watches the other boys leave as if they have a line in his mouth. He waits there long enough to miss lunch. _I can't believe he didn't apologize for calling me chubby…_

(_)

"Hey Hummel, wait up!" Puck calls after a lecture about how wrong it was to use Beiste as a cool-off.

"What is it this time Noah?" Kurt replies, obviously annoyed.

"Karofsky's gone off the deep end with you. I was wondering... Well hoping you'd let me escort you to your next class," Puck asks.

"And what exactly would you do if he does something, bash him with your biting comments?"

"Dude I'm just trying to do something to help. No need to be a bitch about it!"

"And what exactly's different now than from the last year? Other than Glee and probation?" Kurt hopes this is enough for the crude Mo to go away.

"The way you're holding your bag. Your back's fucked up," He replies, trying to feign genuine concern.

"Don't bother Mohawk. Secretly you enjoy seeing it." As Quinn walks to the door he adds "Vicarious enjoyment," then leaves.

Stunned, Puck runs a quick hand through his 'hawk. He notices Quinn's presence and asks "what's 'vicarious'?"

"Second-hand enjoyment," comes the deadpan response. "Like porn." She then walks off, arm in arm with Sam, who just gives a too-toothy smile.

_Huh. Whatever, I'll make you trust me, somehow. I __**don't **__lose bets, and I AM a stud._

(_)

Karofsky's been leaving Kurt alone since their talk - yesterday. That is until the end of the day. He shoves Kurt into the lockers hard enough to snap a bra, if he were a girl and wearing one. _Time to spring into action._

"What the FUCK asshole! Leave him alone already!" Puck growls, genuinely pissed-off. _Where'd __**that**__ come from?_

"What are you his knight in Glamazon Armor?" Karofsky sneers. _He's mine. I touched him first._

"I'm just sick and tired of douches like you that think everything's your own personal toy," Puck seethes, eyes blazing with hatred. "Fuck. Off. Asshole!"

"Fine. He's boring anyway," he cuts, walking off towards the parking lot.

"You okay Princess?" Puck asks as he helps up the smaller boy.

"Call me Princess again and I'll turn you into a eunuch," he replies, taking the offered hand and wincing.

"Dude you're bleeding!" Puck squeeks out, surprising both of them. Before Kurt can respond there's cloth being pressed onto his bare back. "We need to take care of it."

The brief trip is quiet, the bathroom being just a few dozen yards away. Once inside Puck drops his backpack into the sink, props a knee to keep his hoodie on the cut on Kurt's back, and removes a first aid kit from the dropped backpack.

"Um, Puck?"

"Yeah Hummel?"

"You're on one foot."

"Aaaand?"

"How are you-" Kurt's cut off as the hoodie's removed and the sting of an alcohol swab replaces it.

"Years of martial arts. And Fight Club," Puck responds as he tosses the swab and carefully lifts the other boy's shirt, revealing one giant bruise along the shoulders. "Damn Kurt! How long has it been this bad?"

"Since you at least feign caring I'll tell you. Since the start of the year." He watches Puck grab a tube of Aspercream, nodding as he does so. "The extra 'ummmph' is new this week."

"I do care. I just didn't know it was this... violent." _Why do I even really care? Well, I can use it I guess..._

Kurt stands after the cream's applied and tucks his shirt in. "Thank you, Noah. But why do you care now? It's really... unnerving, to have you come to my rescue."_If he asks for a date, then it's a dare. And I think I can play that. At least I can spare my wallet for awhile._

With his eyes on the floor he responds "I just do okay? Is it hard to believe that I actually have a heart?" he finishes, looking into those frosty-blue eyes.

"Sore subject, but - why didn't you fight Quinn harder, or at all, for Beth?" _That should make him give up._

Puck just freezes, like someone just told him he's an orphan now. "Why... why didn't... you ask last year? When it mattered?" _I am NOT choking up!_

"You were pretty doucey last year Noah."

"Fair, but I COULDN'T raise a kid myself. And since when are you arguing for a _chick_ to let a _guy_ have a say over her body!" He was honestly miffed.

"Because you're the father! Whatever. Thank you for your help. See you tomorrow." _Who gave him the right to question me!_

"Not likely. My using Artie for community service didn't fly. So far my only other option is trash pickup," he says as he slumps along the wall under the paper towel dispenser. "Which also means I can't ask you for a date. At least to get the word out that you're off limits to the likes of Karofsky."

"You mean being my fake boyfriend?"

Puck looks up, brow furrowed. "Who said fake? I **do** appreciate class, and no one has more than you." _Wait, I actually mean that!_

Kurt gives a suspicious look-over. He can't see any signs of deception, and nods. _I can use this._ "Say I believe you. You willing to be with me in public? Holding hands, dates, all that?"

Puck can see Kurt studying his face as he thinks it over. Kurt does have a pretty tight body. And a nice ass. And a cutting sense of humor. _Oh shit! I'm really considering this shit!_ He looks right into Kurt's eyes and responds "Yes if I do?" Upon his nod he stands and pulls Kurt into a careful hug, planting a kiss on his cheek. "So, we can be each others' first boyfriends. Right?"

"Sure. **I **decide how fast the physical stuff happens, got it?"

"Sure. I don't force that, I just make it easier to say yes," Puck smirks as he opens the door and lets Kurt pass, then wraps an arm around the slimmer boy's waist without hesitation.

"I mean it! No plying me with booze or sweet-talking me into it," Kurt replies, hiding his surprise at the touch.

"You're the boss."

"Good. Hey, who's that?" he points to a well-built black woman.

"That would be my probation officer..."

"Oh. I guess it's my turn to help you then..."

(_)

"Well Noah? I need an answer or an alternative to roadside cleanup," comes the cool reply from Ms. Martin.

"I ain't doing that. I'm not some junkie who stole from a grandma," Puck replies, slouching further into his seat.

_I don't know why I'm doing this. He belongs in juvenile hall_ Kurt thinks, but says "I have an idea. How about some real outreach? Assuming that's okay."

"Thanks Kurt but not happening. We just started dating," Puck replies, stunning everyone in Figgins' office.

"Wait, what?" comes the surprised gasp from Mr. Schue. "But aren't you-"

"Aren't _you_ trying to teach us to look beyond labels?" Puck retorts, raising an eyebrow.

"I need _some_ kind of an answer, now!" Figgins half shouts, shaking everyone back into the moment.

"Normally I'd say no, but the system _is_ overburdened," Ms. Martin replies, turning to the new couple. "What's your idea?"

_Good thing I'm quick on my feet._ "Well, as I'm the only out kid, I can teach Noah about what I know of gay culture and our community's contribution to society. That we aren't trying to convert or recruit. Just help men be less... slobby."

"And I can explain why some of your styles and... manniests?" Puck gets a mouthed 'mannerisms' from Mr. Schue, and finishes with "cause the worst problems and how to try reaching over the fence without being someone he isn't."

"All while dating?" Figgins asks.

"Well, it's something. But I'll need your parents' permission, and a letter of confidence that your judgment can be trusted," Ms. Martin says while pulling two folders out of her attaché case. "And..." she fishes for his name, which he supplies. "Kurt? If you play the probation system, you'll face a misdemeanor conviction and six months of probation. And we won't give you such a nice deal," she finishes a she hands him a rather large folder.

"How many hours do I have, 300?" Puck asks, his face screaming 'surprised.'

"250. You are to exclude public dates and all sexual activity," Ms. Martin continues. "Hours are logged on that sheet and are to be faxed in every Thursday by noon. Will that be an issue Kurt?"

"Not at all. Thank you Ms. Martin," he replies as he shakes her hand. "May we leave now?"

"Sure. Just fax the consent and trustworthiness papers in before 9a.m. Monday," she replies as she shakes Figgins' hand and walks out.

"Mr. Hummel, you have a real gift. And a good heart," Figgins says, honestly impressed.

"Someone here needs to do something, considering neither of you will," Kurt coldly replies as he stows the folder and pulls Puck to his feet. "We have our first date," leaving the office with a shocked football player...

(_)

"Wait? Finn's gonna be _here_!" Puck cries as he winces at the sloppy job his 'boyfriends' doing with the cake batter.

"Yeah, family dinner night," Kurt replies, ignoring the horrifying look being shot at him.

"Okay, I can handle that, but what about the other thing," taking the mixing bowl and pointing to the stool that was brought in from the other side of the breakfast nook. "First, mix the dry ingredients, then fold in the butter, then the mixed other stuff."

"And where did you learn to cook Noah?"

"I had to learn when my dad left. You can only eat Mac & Cheese and Swanson for so long. And they suck too."

"What about your mom? She cooks, right?"

"Only once a week. She has to work five double shifts a week to keep up with the bills. The old man let the mortgage get within a month of foreclosure. It cost a fortune to get it out of his name," Puck replied matter-of-factly. _Why the fuck am I bring so honest? Even Finn doesn't know that last part._

"I... didn't know," Kurt replies, his eyes finding the wood floor very interesting now. _That sucks. Why's he telling me this? It's too sad to be a lie._

"To be honest Finn doesn't even know that last part. Carole likely does though."

"Know what sweetie?" Carole says as she sets a paper bag on the counter and slides Puck the baking dish she moved aside. "Triple chocolate truffle cake?"

"About how badly Danny screwed us over, and yes."

"Oh, okay. What are you doing here Puck?"

Before either boy can think of a cover story, or see Finn, Puck answers.

"I asked Kurt to start dating me, and he's agreed to manage my probation."

"WHAT!" comes a chorus, Burt having entered from the garage.

"Dude, what the HELL!" Finn squeeks.

"But you're not into guys, right?" Carole asks as she puts the groceries in the fridge.

"When did you decide on this? You're not, you know?" Burt finishes.

"None of the girls in the _county_ are worth any effort, Kurt's pretty good-looking, and I asked today after Glee," all while pouring the batter, setting the pan in the oven, and washing the bowls.

"And the probation help?" Carole asks. She grabs the folder Kurt points to on the table, looking over it with Burt.

"So, Puck, since when do you _not _date girls?" Finn asks, obviously still confused.

"Since this afternoon when I finally noticed Kurt," comes a cool reply as he checks to make sure the lasagna's fully cooked.

"And there must be something to it as I let him do the cooking," Kurt replies as he sits at the table, explaining what happened that day – minus the run in with Karofsky.

"Seriously? I mean I know you can cook and all…" Finn trails off as he notices something that isn't quite right. "Dude, is there any meat in that lasagna?"

"Umm, _no,_" Puck replies as he finishes the dishes and sets a timer. "It's all vegan. If it works out I'll teach you how to make it. If you can ever unwind with Rachel enough to have a romantic evening," Puck slightly smirks as he places the lasagna back into the oven and joins the other family members at the table.

Finn just shrugs as he puts the stool back in its place and joins the rest of the household. He looks over one of the papers, then places it back into the pile. "So, how are you helping with the probation again?"

"All non-date stuff counts as time. It might take a while longer, but it isn't degrading," Kurt tosses, catching a pleased smile from Puck.

Burt, on the other hand, scowls. "And it's just a _coincidence _that you two start dating at the same time?"

"I asked before I knew my probation officer was at the school Mr. Hummel. Actually I half-asked yesterday." _Man, this is gonna be harder than I thought._

"You mean after you made an arrogant request to be my bodyguard?" _He's never going to make this work. Will he give up?_

"So you admit that you're up there with 80's Whitney Huston?" _Playfully done. Wait, how do I know that?_

"And how do you get to be Kevin Costner? Other than a nicer body and thicker hair?" _My Gaga we're bickering like a nearly-dead old couple!_

"Boys, if I may?" Carole jumps in. "Not that I think this is a _bad _idea, but this is just so sudden. I don't remember you two hanging out _at all, _and it will be plain unsettling since that whole baby-drama last year."

_Gotta bite the bullet. And I mean this. _"Finn, I **am **totally sorry for not only sleeping with your girl last year, but for hiding if from you. You were the bigger man, and I'm sorry for destroying the trust we had." Puck sighs, saying "I totally get it if there isn't a way I can earn your forgiveness."

The closest expression Finn has is, well, anime _might _be able to show it. "Dude… You just hid what you did. And cut me down for not being responsible enough. Quinn lied to my face." He sighs and slouches in his chair. "If you can be straight with me about everything from now on, and leave my girlfriends alone, then yeah. We can work stuff out. I guess."

"With that out of the way, Kurt?" Burt looks at his son, who turns around to look him in the eyes. "Son or daughter, gay, straight, lesbian, whatever. I am **never **going to be comfortable having you date someone, especially someone with a record. I'm going to give you a chance to explain why _this," _as he waves the paperwork, "is a good idea. Then why _this"_ as he waves between Puck and Kurt, "isn't some kind of sick joke to _crush you_."

_Here goes nothing. _"Whatever has already passed between us, like the dumpster diving, it's stopped. It stopped after sectionals last year. No one has even asked if Noah intentionally tried to take that ATM, or if he got roped into helping. I'm willing to lend a helping hand toward him to show Noah," Kurt totally notices the nearly non-existent shudder he gives at the use of his real name, "that someone he used to… strongly dislike, is man enough to take the higher ground."

_Damn. Well, in for a drink, in for a Summer Fling, right? _"And if nothing else, Kurt can make all of his mistakes with me. All the f-ups that usually happen when someone first starts dating. If it turns out that I'm not good enough for him, at least he'll have a better idea of what he truly wants, more confidence, and I'll at least be humbled." _Mushy, Lifetime-Movie bullshit… They __**have **__to buy this..!_

"That was really deep Noah," Kurt replies taking his hand. Puck squeezes it slightly before placing his other hand on top. _This had better be a Mythic fall. They're so warm… NO! NOT really enjoying this!_

"Well, you _did _get Kurt to let you do the cooking. Which, by the way, is-was a virtual impossibility," Burt says. He sees his son smiling, something stirring in his eyes. _He seems to at least be __**somewhat **__interested. _"Well, I'll say this: Noah Puckerman. If you so much as make Kurt _consider _breaking up with you, I will make that wheelchair kid look like a triathlon winner compared to you. If you cheat on him, I will try my hand at back-alley sex changes on you. Is that clear?"

_Fuck! I'd better see about passports and airfare. _Puck looks up, no fear or hesitation on his face or in his voice. "Understood Mr. Hummel, Finn. Although I'd check with Carole. Something tells me she'd get to me first and not leave scraps."

"He's right. A sex-change would be the _least _of Puck's problems," Carole says in an off-handed manner, a clear _lack _of expression on her face. "How long until dinner boys?"

"Twenty minutes," Finn blurts out. "I'm going to check my email real quick."

"Can I get the WiFi password? I think I need to update my profile," Puck says as he places a kiss to Kurt's hands. _Hmm, coconut and lavender? Kinda nice…_

"Sure sweets, follow me," Kurt replies, pulling him to his room.

"Door stays open!" comes a concurrent reply from both parents.


	2. He'll Never See It Coming

So this is what it feels like to have people read your stories...

Thank you all for your alerts and feedback. As promised here is the second chapter. Please keep in mind that I do not know enough French to even order coffee in a bistro, much less have a jab-fight, so **PLEASE** tell me if I'm wrong, and the proper way to say what they're saying.

* * *

><p><span>He'll never see it Coming<span>

_Okay, so he DOES clean up well, _Kurt thinks to himself as they're doing their mash-up, trying to keep the best football coach the school's had from resigning. _And those two bulges… GAGA! __**I am not checking out my 'boyfriend.'**_

_Damn, Hummel's got a nice ass. And it looks like his boys might be bigger than mine. _For a brief second Puck stumbles with a mildly disgusted-but-turned-on expression, but is masked by Finn being about a second-and-a-half late in the spin. _Hmm, I'm actually interested in finding out._

Santana sees this and points it out to Brittany, who nods in agreement. They've always been able to have instant conversations like this, at least as long as they can remember. _Something's going on, and it isn't just a joke._

After changing back into their street clothes, the other boys begin to leave. It was tense in the dressing room, not because of the fact there were two dudes that liked dudes (one for sure), but because most of the day was spent having to make comments like "I didn't know" and "That's news to me." The first half of rehearsal that day was shouting and a general "What the Fuck?"

Kurt walks up behind Puck, who's still fidgeting with his backpack, and snakes his arms around him. "You were pretty hot back there," pressing a light kiss to the back of his neck. _Hmm. Is this a fake-boyfriend-feeling or just a hot-guy-I-get-to-feel-up feeling?_

Puck zips up his backpack and wraps his arms over Kurt's. "You weren't half bad yourself. And don't get me wrong, you move pretty well…" Puck unwraps his arms, spins around, and pulls Kurt into a soft hug. "But your face didn't show it. You looked… out of your element." _This should feel wrong, but it doesn't. But it's a __**GUY!**_

_Well no shit dummy! _"And what wasn't I expressing correctly?" Kurt says with true ignorance of what he did wrong.

"Confidence, which you got, but not the sexiness/sultry we were looking for."

"So you were checking me out then?" _Seriously? A straight guy checking me out?_

"Only as much as you were." _I know I've got the bulges you want. I do have mirrors…_

"I was _not _checking you out Puck!" _Crap, he saw that?_

"Right, and I wasn't staring at your ass. I _am _your boyfriend, aren't I?" _Man, people know we're together, what's not to get? Bye bye rep…_

"Well, yeah, _but_-" Kurt's cut off by a sudden kiss from Puck, light and tentative. It's over in a few seconds, both boys are slightly flushed.

"Is that better babe?" Puck asks, his amber eyes eager yet patient. _That was actually pretty nice. Hey, wait…_

"Umm," Kurt stammers, looking for the right words. _I've never felt this way. And it's from a FAKE kiss!_ "I think so. I've just never…" Kurt trails off, and under his breath mutters "Karofsky-made-me-feel-cheap."

"Karofsky did what cheap?" Puck asks, trying to fill in the gaps. _That porky bastard's done MORE to Kurt?_

"No, nothing. How should we work on my sexy?" Kurt tries to lie, but Puck pulls him closer.

"What. Else. Did. Karofsky. Do?" _I don't care about the bet now, I just need to pound someone's face in._

"I-I can't tell you sweets-" Kurt tries to ignore the question but is lightly shaken by his boyfriend.

"Tell me, PLEASE!" Puck knows he sounds desperate, but he doesn't care. _I'm tired of people hurting him like this… even though I'm still doing it._

Taking in the empty choir room, noting that even Brad's gone, Kurt whispers "He kissed me. I thought he was going to rape me…" Kurt's confession is barely audible, his voice breaking, eyes flooding with tears.

Puck holds Kurt tighter, letting the shaking sobs rock his body as well. He does everything he can think of to placate the distraught boy. "I'm so sorry I couldn't stop that Kurt. I **WON'T **let it happen again. No one touches you unless you want them to," he pulls Kurt away enough to lock with those enamoring frost-blue eyes. "Even me. If I ever go too far… feel free to crush my boys, got it?" _Ouch… I'm gonna be sterile after this I'm guessing._

Kurt just nods, his sobs now just causing hitches in his breath. "Thank you. For this," Kurt says as he buries his face in Pucks shirt, noting that it's soft. _Despite being off the rack of some hellhole store like Target._

Puck smiles, a real smile, and ignores the voice in his head telling him to bail and get used to riding a bike. "I'm your boyfriend, that's what I'm supposed to do. And sex you up when you feel like it." He winces at the horrified look Kurt gives him, his own eyes saying _Fuck!_

"_If _I ever want to be 'sexed-up,' I'll be sure to send Finn, Dad, and Carole somewhere so we can be alone. Until then, just hold my hand?" _I did __**not **__just think of Puck being naked and at my disposal, did I?_

"Just give Finn a good headset and he can suck at Halo or CoD for hours." Puck chuckles.

"Short of a zombie getting in front of the TV, with a cooler or fridge next to him, I'd say _days,_" Kurt replies, trying not to snort.

Suppressing giggles, Puck finishes with "Okay, so until then, shall we work on dancing? I guess you need to know what sexy _feels _like before you can project it." Puck breaks the embrace, extends his hand, and asks "shall we?"

"Sure. But if I feel wood, I'm bailing faster than NBC did with the Original Star Trek series."

"Dude, you like Star Trek? Huh…"

"Other than the lack of gay characters, yes. Deep Space Nine rocks!" Kurt smirks as he allows Puck to dip him, noticing the smirk.

"No way Princess, _Enterprise_ was the best in the series."

"How in the hell?" Kurt retorts as he spins into Puck, back to chest, and rolls his hips. "Temporal Cold War, genetically enhanced soldiers, and an obsession with Pre-Warp cultures?" When they're face to face again he sees Puck's smile.

"I can prove it," he smirks as he dips Kurt and plants a kiss to his lips, moving his hands to cradle Kurt's head while supporting all of his weight.

Once his lips are free, Kurt stands up and folds his hands, saying "I can go for that. Later." He grabs their backpacks. "In the meantime _we _have homework to do." _Damn that was __**hot**__._

"Seriously? That's it?" Puck asks, more disappointed than angry or annoyed.

"You _do _know what happens after homework, _right_?" Kurt asks with the perfect amount of sultriness.

Puck almost trips over his own feet to keep up with Kurt's strides toward the parking lot.

(_)

_Okay, how did I __**not **__see this coming? _Puck thought to himself as he waited, helpless, as Kurt was rummaging through the racks and shelves looking for the _perfect_ set of clothes for an outfit. _How in the hell is __**this **__not 'good enough?' _he thought as a hideous vest was picked out. _I'm gonna get pounded by them before I even get a shot at Kurt. Hey, what am I saying?_

"Which one looks better, this one," Kurt holds out a dark brown vest, "or this one?" Kurt holds out another dark brown vest. _If he's really a little gay, he'll see a little difference._

"Umm…" Puck trails off as he tries to notice _any _difference between the two. "Neither of them look good. How about this," he says as he takes everything Kurt's taken and sets it aside. Puck quickly pulls a pair of navy blue skinny jeans, a cobalt blue Dickie shirt, and a dark forest green vest into a set. He holds it up for Kurt's approval.

"Noah…" Kurt is left speechless. _So he __**knows**__ how to dress, but doesn't? How can someone other than Rachel and Finn do that?_

"Don't tell me you thought I had **absolutely **_**no **_fashion sense? This is one of those things that I was telling you about – your fashion. Guys dress for utility **first**, then show," Puck says while disappearing into the changing rooms. "No peeking!"

"Ne t'inquiète pervers!"

"You're the pervert! I want to surprise you," Puck replies as the slider clicks into place. _Oops. One less secret I guess._

_Wait, Puck knows French? Since when?_

Puck changes quickly, but waits until Kurt's facing away from the changing rooms before coming out. _These are actually pretty comfortable. I bet they'll rip pretty quickly in a fight though…_

"Voir ce que tu veux babe?"

"Vous pouviez balancer aimez maigre…" Kurt's jaw drops at how… _revealing_, those jeans are. Not to mention that Puck looks like he just came off the runway of some Milan fashion show.

"Eh bien, c'est deux langues je peux pantois po," Puck coolly replies, strutting up to his boyfriend. "Tant qu'il vous achetez, on peut toucher il vous voulez."

Kurt tries to pretend to be checking the hems and buttons, but his hands are grabbed by Puck and placed on his chest. Their eyes lock, trying to find any lies, falsehoods, anything they can use as excuse to end their respective acting roles. Neither boy finds any, so they kiss. A hushed gasp from a girl putting the previous garments away breaks them apart.

Looking down Kurt sees Puck's wearing the dress shoes as well. "I guess, umm, I'll…" _Damn! He's really trying, and he's __**HOT!**_

"Yeah, I'll, umm…" Puck nods to the changing rooms and gives Kurt a peck on the cheek. He releases Kurt and heads back in. _Why does he have to be so goddamn __**adorable?**__ Fuck!_

(_)

Puck's so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't even see Santana making a beeline for him until she pushes against his chest. He looks up to see an angry Latina staring him down.

"Okay, so I was trying to get a hold of you the whole weekend, but rumor has it you spent it with your _boyfriend,_" she spits out, words cutting. "Since when is _this,_" she sweeps her left hand down her body, "not what the Puckster wants?"

"Since one – you're a bitch, and two – Thursday after Glee. You're just not hot anymore," Puck says, believing the conversation's over. Apparently it isn't since she grabs him and spins him into a locker. "Hey, I got places to be and people to try and do."

"What's gotten into you? Ladyface?"

"And, what? Brittany's not enough for you? They have toys for that you know."

"Screw you! You ain't tappin' **this **ever again!"

"Been there slammed that," Puck says as he bumps Santana away and leaves. _Hmm, Kurt's not at his locker… _He ignores Santana yelling 'pillow-biter' as he begins to jog. He hears the familiar sound of banging metal and begins to run toward it.

"You really don't want to do this. You know who I'm dating!" Kurt says, voice raised.

"Yeah, whatever. Like you're gonna tell him anything!" Karofsky sneers, opening the lid to the dumpster.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you _David!_" Kurt spits out, his loss of patience beginning to show.

"He's right, _loser!_" Puck shouts as he runs to the group. _Great, it's the Pentagram of Ass._ "Put my boyfriend down, **NOW**!"

"You're really falling for him, aren't you fudge-packer?"

"At least he doesn't have implants asshole! Let him go. **NOW**!" _They don't need to know I'm actually, really, 'angry-hulk' pissed._

The jocks let Kurt go, but Karofsky tries to snag him back by grabbing his messenger bag. _Wrong move closet-case. _Kurt turns into the spin and punches Karofsky right in the jaw, sending him staggering back. When Azimio goes to grab Kurt, he gets kicked in the balls, sending him thudding to the ground crying.

"Nice work babe! Wanna go somewhere _I _want to go for a change?"

"First, we need to talk," Kurt says as he walks past Puck, determined.

"Better get your woman in check," Strando adds, wincing at the writhing, crying jock holding his nads. Puck just decides to flip them off as he follows Kurt.

_Why do I get the feeling I'm gonna be bitched at for nothing?_

Once at their cars, Kurt leans on the door of his Navigator, exhausted. At least, that's what Puck read. He was wrong.

"Just two weeks ago you wouldn't have done anything to stop that, and six _months _ago you were the one _doing _that! What changed?" _I just can't believe this guy! Just how much is riding on this bet?_

"Hey, calm the fuck down dude! I told you, I didn't know how violent it was getting. And they prolly think _you _somehow _made _me gay!" _Seriously? He lusts after __**Finn **__of all people for over a year and suddenly he gets a clue __**now**__?_

"Are you gay? Just what the hell _are _you Noah?" Kurt doesn't care about getting some kind of revenge. He needs an outlet for all the rage and hurt that's been building up at a furious pace since the first day of Freshman year, when someone turned the bullying dial to 11 and added a second one, also at 11.

Risking it, Puck presses himself into Kurt, pinning his front to the black SUV. _I don't like seeing him like this. It isn't cute. There I go again… what the hell? _"I'm someone who sees how alone you are, and wanna do something about that. You think I have anyone to go home to other than my sister?"

Kurt just turns his head, poorly fighting the tears pouring from his eyes. Furious, repressed tears that _demand _to be released. "That didn't answer my question…"

"Lesson two: Guys aren't vague like that. It's mostly direct like 'that bitch said I've got a small one' or 'he called me a pussy, so I decked him,'" Puck replies. "I didn't do anything before because I didn't think it was that bad. I didn't notice you because I was listening to _morons _who wouldn't know class if the Saudi Court Hostess gave them personal lessons."

Kurt turns his head, looking into those amber eyes yet again. He sees fear, but not the type he thought. It's the kind of fear that kept Rachel away from Finn for so long. The fear Karofsky had when he was finally confronted. _He just might be interested on his own. _That what Kurt _thinks_. He unfortunately says "There is no _hostess. _Saudi women have few if any rights."

"Fine. Elocution lessons from RuPaul herself. Or a spot on Drag U."

Kurt can't stop the snicker from escaping his lips as he lightly places his hands on Puck's hips. "There's no **way **you watch Logo."

"I would've liked to see more from Porkchop, and Raven got robbed," Puck says with a smirk, placing one hand on Kurt's hip and another on his chest. "I really do watch Logo. Too Wong Foo really freaked me out though…"

"Jackass," Kurt says as he places a chaste kiss to Puck's lips. "So, _Noah_, what did you think of Shangela?"

"Bitch please," comes the response against Kurt's lips. _Damn! I'm getting totally turned on kissing Kurt fucking Hummel!_

Kurt can't help but giggle, slipping his hands around Puck and nuzzling his neck. "Bitch _was_ a hot mess, wasn't she?"

"You knew better when you were ten, so I hear."

"_You _know better, Mohawk," Kurt replies as he runs his fingers through the short strip of hair. _It's __**really **__soft… and a little oily._ "What do you use in your hair?"

"Dax, why?"

"Oh dear Gaga! We are getting rid of **ALL **of those jars, NOW!" Kurt screams as he pulls Puck into his Naviagtor. "There are **tons **of better products."

"What's wrong with Dax? I like it," Puck whines. _Did I really just whine?_

"If they sell it at Wal-Mart for half price, it's not worth it. Besides, you want something that can be restyled without having to reapply." _Dear Gaga help me! This boy's dense!_

"Umm, Dax _does_ let you do that, and I seem to remember _you _having a bang problem last year. Mostly a nervous twitch-thing," Puck smugly finishes, chairdancing in his seat.

"Well… I… _huh_?" Kurt fumbles, trying to find a response. _Damn, he saw through that. Arrrg! _"Okay, _fine._ At least try a jar of what I use and let me know how you like it?"

"Sure. It's at least worth that if it's good enough for you." _Hey, free swag!_

"So Noah, sweets, where do _you _want to go for our date?"

"How good are you at paintball?" _Hey, he has to at least try it to lie about it._

Kurt's hands have a deathgrip on the steering wheel as he pulls up to a red light, face alabaster-white pale. "Never played. It's too messy."

"Not really. You wear coveralls and you can get a face shield," Puck replies, smiling. "Unless you want all that pissed-off energy to build up and explode into something Trenchcoat Mafia-like."

Kurt squeaks out a 'fine' and heads to the range. _At least Finn did _something _for me over the summer…_

(_)

_Okay, so my hair's messed up, my clothes reek, and my ears are buzzing a little from all the headshots, _Kurt thinks as he's tossing the coveralls in the hamper. He glances at Puck as he quickly tosses his coveralls and helmet, paying the attendant. _Good Gaga he has a sexy smile, even if he's trying not to be sexy. And those teeth… I never thought I'd be attracted to someone's teeth. Other than Dr. Howells' of course…_

"Earth to Kurt Hummel, come in. We have a delivery for you," Puck teases as he stows Kurt's helmet on the proper tray. "So, other than mussing your hair, how'd you like it?" He asks as he fixes the smaller boy's hair.

"It was… _liberating,_" he replies. "It seems more, _satisfying_,to humiliate someone than to physically hurt them."

"Okay… but I was fishing for 'can we do this again?'" Puck asks, remembering his lecture about being direct.

"… Sure, I don't see why not. There aren't any paint blotches anywhere, are there?"

"Were you clothes orange before we started our rounds?"

"Oh dear **Gaga**!" Kurt screams, looking for a mirror.

"Babe, I'm kidding. Your clothes are fine," Puck says as he pulls Kurt into his arms. "That militia look was pretty good on you."

"Really? I figured you for more of a desert-cammo kind of guy."

"Nah. Forest hides more 'stains,'" Puck replies, pressing a kiss to Kurt's lips, smirking.

"If you want more lip time, we should go somewhere else. We should have my place for about three hours…"

"Makeout session, or more?" Puck asks, happiness filling his voice. _Then I can go back to what I _really _want and patch things up with my fuck buddy._

Kurt pulls Puck to him and presses their lips together. He slowly opens his mouth, opening Puck's with them. He gently sticks his tongue out, lightly grazing the jock's teeth. When Puck moans his teeth part slightly, allowing Kurt's tongue entrance. When Kurt's tongue touches Puck's, the jock tenses, then breaks off the kiss.

"No, it isn't that I don't want it! It's just… **Damn**! That was electric babe!" Puck says, calming Kurt down. _Holy fucking shit! __**Best… Kiss… Ever..?**_

"So… take advantage of your boyfriend's empty house to make out?"

"Oh. Hell. _**Yes**_!" _Okay, I'm now totally fucked… and not in the getting off kind of way._


	3. When a Player Plays a Player

And now we have songs and that means lyrics. Songs are listed here as well as the start of the playlist.

As to the French in the last chapter, here's a review:

Puck tells Kurt to not peek while he's changing;

_Don't worry Pervert!_ (Ne t'inquiète pervers!)

I'm not a pervert! ...

_See anything you like babe? _(Voir ce que tu veux babe?)

_You can totally rock skinny... _(Vous pouviez balancer aimez maigre…)

_Well, that's two languages I'm speechless in, _(Eh bien, c'est deux langues je peux pantois po,)

_As long as you're buying, you can touch me. _(Tant qu'il vous achetez, on peut toucher il vous voulez.)

In upcoming chapters I'll have the translations at the bottom. I just added the above after I remembered a reviewer request for a translation.

Oh, there's also slash at the end of this chapter, so be warned.

Second note: I pretty much ignored these notes as my computer had begun backing up while adding them and I was desperate to get this up so you guys can enjoy it. I also updated the song list to include Puck's song.

tinyurl . com / NotAGM

Ice Cube, You Can Do It: War & Peace Vol 2 (Best Side LLC, USA)

Bruno Mars, Just the Way you Are: Doo-Wops & Hooligans (Elektra Entertainment Group Inc (USA)

* * *

><p><span>When a Player Plays a Player<span>

"So, dude, you like cooking and stuff?" Finn asks as he dries the pot used for that night's curry.

"Yeah. It's kinda relaxing," Puck says as he finishes washing the baking pan used for the honey nut banana bread. "It's like my form of watching TV or something."

"I'm kinda impressed. I mean, asking Kurt out, actually dating him, cooking for us," Finn looks away as he hangs the pot back up and starts drying the pan. "To be honest, I thought it was a joke."

_You have no idea Hudson_. "Well I meant what I said. There aren't any girls here that are worth it." _I can't believe I'm going to admit this part_. "And Kurt's actually really cool."

The confused look on Finn's face deepens as he puts the pan away. "Wow. I just thought, you know, that if you ever got a man-crush or something it'd be me."

Puck stops what he's doing and punches his best friend in the arm. "Dude, really? When was the last time you heard me talking about a chick that was _taller_ than me?"

"Like never," he replies, punching back. "But that'd be hard."

"Dude, you're like an _Ent_!" Puck says as he dries his hands and walks toward the living room.

"What the hell's an _Ent_?" Finn whines, following Puck into the living room.

"The tree people from Lord of the Rings," Burt says as he flips through the guide. "Hey, is _Through the Wormhole_ okay guys?"

"Sounds fine," replies Rachel, setting herself against Finn, who wraps his arms around her.

"No problems here," Kurt agrees, pulling Puck into his arms on the floor to Finchel's left.

Carole, smiling at her sons and their partners, decides to bring up a delicate issue. "Kurt, I've noticed that your clothes aren't… eye-catchingly fabulous as usual. May I ask why?"

After planting a kiss to Puck's forehead Kurt smiles and looks into Carole's eyes. "It's come to my attention," he eye-nods to Puck, "that my fashionable collection should be more… male-focused. With a few adjustments it works just fine."

"Adjustments?" Finn asks, nuzzling Rachel's hair.

"An undershirt, overshirt, vest. Sometimes a jacket sometimes not," Puck coolly replies, kissing Kurt's hand. _Umm, damn. Now they're gonna think I'm molesting him or something._

_Dammit Puck!_ "Noah, sweets, I don't think the parents want to hear that we've been to second base."

"Really?" Burt says, raising his eyebrow exactly like his son does. "When'd you get there?"

Blushing, Kurt looks into Puck's eyes long enough to communicate _you are __**so**__ going to die_, then says "About four days ago."

"Kinda fast, isn't it?" Burt replies, sneaking a quick kiss to Carole's neck, causing her to quietly giggle.

"For me Burt, that's a record holdout."

"Noah, that isn't helping your case. At _all_," Rachel says, throwing a popcorn kernel at him.

"As someone who _kinda_ has a kid, I can _kinda_ say that parents are never really going to be ready for their kids to, you know…" Puck trails off, reading everyone, hoping they didn't hear the slight crack in his voice. _Good, no death glares or looks of pity. Man, why do I feel so safe being in Kurt's arms?_

"I guess as long as you don't push Kurt into going further than he wants to go, I can be fine with that," Burt replies, giving Carole a squeeze. "Oh, Finn? That room's almost finished upstairs."

"Okay... Thanks?" Finn states, confused.

"Just thought you should know."

"Ohh! Time travel!" Squeaks Rachel, finally paying attention to the TV.

"Okay, this one then one more, and bedtime. In your _own _beds," Burt says, eying Puck and Rachel.

"That'll be fine Mr. Hummel. My dads' don't think I'm ready for a sleepover unless it's a slumber party," Rachel replies.

"I guess I can put up with an empty house knowing I can see my boyfriend tomorrow," Puck says as he gives Kurt's hands a kiss. _Am I really considering just cuddling? That's new on __**so**__ many levels._

"Isn't Sarah home?" Carole asks, genuinely puzzled. Burt fixes his gaze on Puck.

"Nah. She's staying the night at a friend's, and Ma's working her second double tonight."

"That happens a lot, doesn't it?" Kurt asks. _I guess he could be a jerk because no one pays __**any**__ attention to him..._

At Puck's nod Burt sighs. He looks at Carole, then to Finn, Rachel, and Kurt. He rolls his eyes and gives another sigh. "Fine. Door stays open, you'll both have sweats or shorts on, _on __**top**__ of the sheets._"

Puck is honestly stunned. A dad is actually trusting him. _And I don't want to take advantage of it_... "Sure thing Mr. Hummel. Thank you."

Kurt tilts Puck's head up and plants a kiss on his lips. _He's __**so**__ going to screw this up..._

(_)

_Huh? He was a perfect gentleman last night... At least while he was awake,_ Kurt thought while he searched for another thermos. _And who thought I'd be the outside spoon? And he never needs to know that at two in the morning I grabbed a feel of his dream-wood. Holy __**Gaga**__!_

_I can't believe I slept that_ _well_, Puck rambles as he puts on the clothes they bought last weekend. _I still can't believe I got wood from Kurt's pressing into my back. It was pretty hot..._

"Here you go sweets," Kurt says as he sets down a thermos and add-ins. "How'd you sleep?" Kurt asks, trying to hide his blush.

_He totally felt me up last night! Awesome!_ "Pretty well babe," Puck replies as he adds the cream and sugar, taking a sip. "You?"

"Actually very soundly. It's nice holding something other than my Gaga plushie," Kurt replies, holding his hands over his mouth.

"Hey, it's cool. We all have something," Puck assures him, pulling away Kurt's hands and dropping a kiss. "Well?" Puck struts in his hot clothes.

"Naaaggguuuhhh," Kurt tries to say something, but can't. He's completely overcome with hormones.

Puck raises his eyebrows, looking him over. "Too sexy?"

Kurt regains his speech, but just nods & smiles.

"So, one week so far with no outbursts, slushies, dumpster-dives. -"

"Noah, sweets, that may be because I clocked Karofsky and crushed Azimio's nuts..."

"Still, you know how dense the jocks can be," Puck fires back. _That was pretty hot to watch. I guess I should just get used to this. He's awesome!_

"Well since you're dressed, we should go," Kurt replies, kissing Puck - full tongue.

"Your car or mine?" Puck replies breathlessly.

"Yours. It was making noises Saturday."

"What do you think it is?" _He's __**gotta**__ have an idea, he's a mechanics son for fucks sake!_

"It could just be a belt, but I think it's the water pump," Kurt states, grabbing their backpacks.

Following his boyfriend up the stairs, Puck frowns. "Is that expensive?"

_How can he not know that? He's a jock and __**not **__Finn!_ "No, but we'd need to partially disassemble the engine."

"You know how to do that? If the guys knew that they might not have ever messed with you!"

"Until I said something like briefs made their asses look lumpy. C'mon! We're late!"

"Okay okay! We'll be there with enough time!"

(_)

_There they are, all gay and fancy and fashionable. Just one more class and it's over for today_, Dave thinks until he sees Scott Cooper with a slushie cup. _Hey, when opportunity knocks..._

He times it just right, clothes-lining the frozen drink right into the hockey-playing asshole. "Dropped something." He keeps walking, making a left.

"Klutzy day Coop?" Puck sneers.

"Guess you're making a trip to Ed Hardy later," Kurt mocks as he links arms with Puck and heads to his last class. "Should I get him a MickeyD's card?"

"Nah. Make him earn it babe." _Huh. It looks like I might have an out, but I don't want to take it yet. Since when's Karofsky on __**my **__side?_

(_)

"Mom, guys, what's going on?" Finn asks, completely surprised to see his entire family marching toward him.

After a light-hearted argument over who speaks first, Burt and Carole blurt out "We're getting married!" and hug each other.

"They wanted to tell us first," Kurt starts.

"But they didn't check to make sure the classroom was empty," Puck supplies the rest. "I bet Hemmingway seems _so _much more interesting now."

"That's great guys," Finn says, looking a little more certain. "Is this why you dropped the no-so-subtle hint about the room?"

"Yeah. Now about the wedding. We don't have much of a budget, but the honeymoon's gonna be in Maui…" Burt begins to trail.

"Leave everything to me!" Kurt perks up, eyes bright. "I've been planning weddings since I was five," which Burt nods to, "and I've married my Power Rangers in so many combinations they're practically Fleetwood Mac."

"Babe, you don't have a Royal budget here. You _do _have a plan for that, right?" Puck asks, looking at Finn and Burt for support and Carole for 'I'm sorry.'

Kurt snaps his fingers. "That's it! You guys are having a Glee wedding!"

Everyone but Finn seems to be happy. Burt and Puck are even hugging as Carole takes both of her sons into an embrace… right in the hallway.

This is broken by Kurt, who pulls Carole away, rambling about color schemes. The three remaining men collectively sigh and roll their eyes.

"I'm guessing no bachelor party then?" Puck asks.

"Not unless we all suddenly turn 21," Burt says, giving Finn a guy-hug.

"Maybe we should warn the others, so they're not blindsided?" Finn asks, more resigned than embarrassed.

"Good idea Finn. I need to get to the shop anyway," Burt says, walking away. He stops and turns around a few feet away. "You know you're coming, right Puck?"

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it!" _I wonder how good Kurt looks in a __**real **__tux?_

"Good. See you later then," Burt says, smiling on his way out.

"Dude, this is awesome. And kinda scary," Finn says as he and Puck walk to the choir room.

"I know. I'm gonna be your brother's boyfriend soon," Puck says, smirking. "Wanna kick my ass as a warning or something?"

"Dude, really? 'Cause Kurt's kinda scary when he's mad."

"Just throwing it out there."

Finn stops and spins Puck around. "Can you help me with something? I'm serious."

_Okay, don't be a smartass_. "What do you need?"

"Help me make up for hurting Kurt when that decorating thing went down."

Puck smiles. _This I can handle_...

(_)

"Man, what a long-ass day," Puck says as he shoves his backpack against the entryway wall. Then he hears noises in the kitchen. "Sarah?"

"Nope, your other favorite woman," comes the reply. "How was your day?"

"You know, the usual," he replies, rinsing shallots and starting on prep for dinner. "Don't you have a shift tonight?"

"Eh, someone traded. Santana's mother. Something about a wedding."

"Yeah. Burt finally proposed to Carole," Puck replies, adding the chopped shallots to the bowl.

"Didn't you have a date?"

Puck's silent for a few minutes. He just absently preps everything for the meatloaf. _Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did I think I could get away with this?_

"Well, we're the music, so everyone's pretty busy. They're trying to coordinate the color schemes or something."

"Even that sweet guy you're with?"

He can't help but smile. "Yeah. Kurt thinks he has the perfect idea for the wedding - he's the planer." Puck realizes what he just said as he looks into his mother's eyes. Puck starts to panic.

"You know Suzy, right? Her sister works at Nordstroms. Said she saw you kissing some regular customer there."

Puck begins to hyperventilate, his eyes wide. He's frozen in place. _No, NO, __**NO**__, fuck, Fuck, __**FUCK**__!_

"Noah, why didn't you tell me? You know you can tell me anything."

"I..., I'm..." he's trying to speak, but can't. He's too scared.

"Noah, bubbala, what's the matter? I don't really care that you're-"

"I'm not gay," he manages to whisper, choking back tears.

Nora studies her son for a minute, her face growing angrier every second. "NONE of this better be a joke." She watches as he hangs his head, a drop landing on the the floor. For the first time in her life, and the first time since Danny left, she slaps him.

"It was supposed to be a joke on him," he says, a whispering whimper. "But..."

Nora's face begins to soften. "You're realizing he's a Mensch? That's he an actual person?"

Puck nods his head. "I think I'm falling in love Ma," he manages to whisper, barely audible, tears falling from his eyes. "But he's, a **guy**!" his voice breaking on the last word.

"Love's blind Noah, you know that. Does the wrapper really mean anything?"

"I don't know anymore," he cries out. "I don't..." he trails off.

Nora embraces her son tightly, like she used to after she and her ex-husband would fight. "Now, if this bet were called off tonight, would you stay with him?"

Puck just sobs, his nods not able to be felt through them.

"Noah, bubbala, say it."

"Yes," he whispers, desperate longing filling that one word.

"And that's fine. It's okay Noah. I still love you. I'm never going to question who you love."

Neither of them know how long they just clung to each other, but they're broken apart when Sarah pushes them aside to set the table. She doesn't question why they're both crying, just glad none of her friends are there to see it.

(_)

Puck leaves Kurt at his locker, looking for Finn. "That guy needs so much work. I think it'd be easier to teach Burt the 'Single Ladies' dance than Finn to slow dance."

"Be nice! He's going to be my brother soon," Kurt says as he places a kiss to Puck's cheek. "Text me when he agrees. Today, after Glee." Puck nods as he walks off.

Kurt had just put away one magazine and took an inspirational look at his mother's cake topper when he sees Karofsky coming down the hallway. For reason's unknown Kurt shoves everything into his locker and slams it closed. He jumps a yard in the air when there's a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around. He can hear the jock scoff and turn a corner.

"Okay Ladyface, deets. You get your V-Card punched yet?" says a crude yet gorgeous Santana.

"Okay first you need to announce your presence, especially with all the bullying I've suffered by the likes of you," Kurt begins as he enters bitch-mode. "Second, try wearing something different. Uniforms are _so _not revealing, which I know you hate."

"Whatever. Answer my question or I'll go all Lima Heights on your ass."

_That's it, she's going down. And for once, not on my boyfriend. _"Fuck you la gouine."

Santana instantly turns deep red, even though she's not sure _exactly _if that word is what she thinks it is. "Why Ladyface, I didn't know you _knew _how to swear."

"Whatever. How about tit-for-tat? I… actually need your help," Kurt says, face cold as marble.

"Fine, help with what?"

Pulling her into a nearby girl's room, he eyes the few occupants, glaring for them to get out.

"I know you heard the gurl. Get the fuck out!" Santana shouts, emptying the room instantly, even the stalls. "So?"

"I'm pretty sure Puck's playing me, so I wanna play him harder," Kurt says, his slight frown and pained admission not lost on the Latina.

Her eyes widen, then her mouth forms a very disapproving frown. "That would make the most sense. He's all about these sweater-cows," she says as she uses her hands to bounce her knockers. "How can _I _help with that?"

Kurt lets out a sigh before speaking. "I want you to teach me how to play someone, and I **need **you and Britt to teach me how to be sexy. Not just any sexy, sexy enough for Ron Jeremy to _beg _me to top him."

Santana proceeds to fall to the floor, barely avoiding injury. Kurt kneels next to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Cariño, ¿estás bien?"

She just nods her head, gaining her bearings. "That's going to take a _lot _of work."

"I don't mind. I don't think he's going anywhere for a while…"

After convincing Brittany to join them, Santana meets Kurt in the choir room, all three teens having decided to ditch their last class. Surprisingly Brittany managed to get all three of them hall passes.

"Okay babyhands, let's see what you got," Brittany says, sitting down with Santana and holding her hand. "Just give it everything you have, like with the hairography."

Kurt proceeds to be half sexy, half painful to watch. He tries the Charro move even though he has no tits, he grinds/winces, he rolls – but it looks like a belly dancer having a seizure. After forty-five seconds Santana stands up and pulls Kurt by his back belt loops.

"Okay, that wasn't sexy, that was pathetic. Not only that, I think freshly-born wildebeests are sexier than that," she says, smoothing out his shirt and putting his hair back in place.

"That's not fair Santy. Not everyone can be born a sex kitten like you," Brittany says as she lightly pushes her away and begins to hug Kurt. "You have to remember, you're a guy. At the end of the song, you still have to look like a guy."

"I'm very well aware of that Britt. I _do _bathe myself," Kurt says, glaring at both girls.

"Okay, let's start with this," Santana says as she nods to her 'secret' lover and does the Charro bounce, shaking their boobs.

"And this proves what? I already know that move," Kurt says, not hiding his disdain for the cheerleaders.

"We got 'em, you don't," replies the blonde. "Meaning don't ever do this. **Ever**!" she says as she gives her knockers one last shake. "You should try this," as she jumps into a low shallow grind. Santana lets out a nearly-silent gasp.

"You see Kurt," Santana begins as she walks to Britt, "this shows you have flexibility in _one _of the right spots, as well as the ability to… _angle, _into different spots." The lust in her voice is not lost on the other occupants of the room.

Santana begins to roll her body into Brittany's, matching moves perfectly. "It's all about synergy. We're not moving at the _exact _same time, but it _feels _and looks like it."

Kurt frowns, sighs, and stands behind the Latina, matching her movements. Santana puts one hand on Brittany's hip, another on Kurt's thigh. Kurt misses Brittany's nod, but matches movements and cadence when they switch grinding and rolling. Brittany begins to laugh as she locks eyes with Kurt.

"What's so funny Britt?" Kurt asks, annoyed.

"Your face! It looks like a kid that just walked in on mom and dad!"

Santana turns around, sees Kurt's face, and barrels over laughing, leaving Kurt and Brittany to dance with each other. "Ladddyy… oohhh… Dios mio..!"

Kurt stops, putting a hand on Brittany's shoulder. "What the hell's so funny?"

"Your body looks sexy, but your face is saying 'Help! I'm 12 and gonna be an old man's sister-wife!'" Brittany says, putting a hand on Kurt's face. "Your body and face need to _both _look sexy Kurt."

Kurt sighs. "I don't see that happening. I mean, yeah Puck and I have made out. A _lot._ But that's not the same."

"Do you feel sexy then?" Santana asks, still giggling as she hugs Brittany from behind.

Kurt only blushes, straightening his already perfect clothes.

Brittany takes one of Kurt's hands and puts it next to one of her breasts, then the other on her back above her ass. "Remember that feeling, feel it again, and _dance_," she tells him as Santana plugs in her iPod and selects a song. "I know you've seen this movie – the one with Julia Stiles, just feel it and keep up."

Yeah, yeah

Get your ass up and hurra

Uh, Ice Cube baby

Ninety-nine baby

I'm on the grind baby

All the time baby

Show me something

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

Put your back into it

Put your ass into it

Tic-tic-boom

Hear me banging down these back streets

Bumpin' BlackSTREET, treated like a athlete

Life ain't a track meet (no) it's a marathon

Fuck the cemetery that a nigga get buried on

We be clubbing till the day we die

Nigga ask the bartender if you think we lie

But if you think we high, nigga think again

Cause when it's sink or swim

You got to think to win

And if I drink this Hen'

Everybody will know it

Cause I ain't going for it

So pray to the Lord that I don't pull out

Cuss out and bust out

Go the nigga route

Make the trigger shout, uh

You can try to smoke an ounce to this

While I pronounce this shit

Baby bounce them tits

Mama move them hips

Baby shake them cheeks

I got dick for days

You got ass for weeks, yeah, yeah

Don't stop get it, get it

(That's real)

Don't stop nigga hit it

(I will)

I'm gon' do it, gon' do it

Gon' do it, do it, do it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

Put your back into it

Put your ass into it

Now all I wanna do is have fun with my loved ones

The thug ones, relatives and my cousins

And I got 'em by the dozen

When they buzzin', quick to say fuck your husband

This is for my niggas locked away

Extra love for the ones who ain't got no date

But when we hit checkmate with Ice Cube the great

As soon as I get a word we can rush the safe

Fuck them license plates because life is great

It don't matter if you're rich and your folks ain't straight

I'm still coming with that underground gangsta shit

No matter how many niggas say we ain't the shit, bitch

(At this point Santana jumps in, and Kurt's keeping up with both of them. Neither girl laughs at him)

Don't stop get it, get it

(That's real)

Don't stop nigga hit it

(I will)

I'm gon' do it, gon' do it

Gon' do it, do it, do it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

Put your back into it

Put your ass into it

I do hard core rhyming, hard time grinding

With will I pimp hoes

Other niggas wine and dine them

Gotta love this pup shit

Passing the mud shit

Pockets on flood shit

OG lyrical blood shit

I don't rent I buy shit

Niggas jealous of my shit

You unaware of this young nigga getting all the fly shit

While you're rooting and recruiting

Nigga 6-8 whooping

I was in the hood shooting cause I had the wife whooping

I come from padres gold in oversized jars

I past up strife and got star awards

No time for playa hating, Mack paper chasing

Came out the substation to the hip hop nation

The mo' hits the mo' bigga with illegal weight figga

Done develop the status of a platinum plus nigga

Bust the first asshole to show I can hit it

I keep pushing, don't quit it

Don't stop till I get it

(Kurt takes the lead of the dance as both cheerleaders begin to blush)

Don't stop get it, get it

(That's real)

Don't stop nigga hit it

(I will)

I'm gon' do it, gon' do it

Gon' do it, do it, do it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

Don't stop get it, get it

(That's real)

Don't stop nigga hit it

(I will)

I'm gon' do it, gon' do it

Gon' do it, do it, do it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

You can do it put your back into it

I can do it put your ass into it

Put your ass into it

We be clubbing

Freaky gyration is close to fornication

We be clubbing

Freaky gyration is close to fornication:

Yeah uh-huh, Ice Cube, Westside Connection

Know how we do?

We puttin' it down, constantly

Get your ass up and hurra

"You guys are really good," Kurt says, panting. "I am officially impressed."

"You're pretty good too Kurt," Brittany says, looking at Santana with lust in her eyes.

"_That _part's done with now," Santana says, licking her lips. "Now if you'll excuse us, we need to… uhh…"

"We gotta go do stuff," Brittany says as she grabs Santana's iPod, takes her hand, and pulls her out of the choir room.

Smiling to himself as he puts his things away, Kurt lets himself think of how he can use this new prowess of his. _Oh the possibilities. _He feels a slight twinge in his chest, stopping his movements. _What was that..?_

(_)

"No, dad, not like that, like this," Kurt says as he pulls Puck over again, going over the moves. He lets Puck explain this time, and when Burt pairs with Kurt again, his steps improve.

"There wasn't a lot of this kind of dancing at dances back in my day," Burt protests, trying to not step on his son's feet. "It was pretty…"

"Just _do your own thing_?" Finn says, looking extremely bored.

"That's it!" Burt says as he's released into Puck's arms to keep practicing.

"Okay Finn, your turn," Kurt says, holding out his hands.

"I can't dance with another guy, they'll step up the slushies," Finn whines.

Kurt takes Finn's hands and places them to follow his lead. "C'mon Finn, you danced in front of a thousand people at regionals."

They get three steps in when Karofsky stops in the doorway, sticking out his tongue and limping his wrist. He waits for Finn to pull his hands out of Kurt's and walks away. Kurt just stares while Finn looks away from him.

"What was that?" Burt asks, confused.

"Nothing dad," Kurt replies, exasperated.

"Bullshit it's nothing!" Puck shouts, running out of the choir room.

"What the hell's going on?" Burt asks, staring at his sons.

"He's just a guy who's been bullying us," Finn replies.

"No, there's more. What is it Kurt?" Burt asks as he pulls Kurt out to the hallway.

"I can't-" Kurt's cut off as someone screams in the hallway, causing the three to begin running.

They stare in shock as Puck has Karofsky against a row of lockers, off the ground. As much as he fights, he can't shake the mohawked teen's grip. Puck's eyes are firing pure hatred while Karofsky's are doing a horrible job of hiding his fear.

"Who do you think you are, bullying my son?" Burt demands, matching the intensity of Puck's gaze. "What did he ever do to you?"

"Other than trying to ogle me in the locker room?" Karofsky seethes, earning a shake from Puck. "Let me the fuck go or I'm going to kill you, faggot!"

"I don't think so," comes a voice from behind where the group's looking. Puck smirks and lets the large jock go. "You really shouldn't have said that."

"Ms. Martin, it's good to see you," Kurt says as he nudges Finn to box Karofsky in. "What do we owe this visit to?"

"Well Noah was due for a random checkup, but he wasn't home. My assumption that he was here was right," she finishes as she looks him over.

"Look, umm, I didn't mean what I said," Karofsky says, trying to wedge his way out. Burt grabs his shoulder and holds on, hard.

"Interesting fact about probation officers kid, is that they can arrest people," Burt says in a knowing tone. "And I _do _believe she just witnessed a crime."

"That I did," replies Ms. Martin. "Noah, you just earned the support of a probation officer, which is a _very _good thing." She now turns to Karofsky with cold eyes. "And you are under arrest for threatening the life of a minor within a public building," she says as she pulls out a pair of handcuffs. Karofsky tries to run, but is yanked face-first by Burt into the lockers he was being held against.

"Ahhh! Dammit Mr. Hummel!" he screams as Burt releases his shoulder and forces the jock's hands behind his back.

"Resisting arrest holds its own charges, in addition to the ones you'll be facing," the probation officer says as she applies the cuffs. "And now back to the office. It was good to see all of you. Umm, what's this guys' name?"

"David Karofsky," all three teens reply at the same time.

_No, no, no! This __**can't **__be happening! I can't have this happen _Dave thinks as he's being dragged to the front exit. _I'll never get out of this shithole if this happens. _He feels himself shift, like something within him has snapped. He suddenly stands up board-straight, eyes ahead, shoulders squared, eyes empty.

This doesn't go unnoticed by the four staring at the awkwardness in front of them. Burt falls for the illusion of arrogance. The teens each notice something different through the mask: Kurt notices the resignation to just accept whatever fate's dealt. Puck notices the loneliness and false bravado. Finn notices the sheer loss of any self-confidence. They look at each other, lower their heads, and saunter back into the choir room to rehearse for the wedding.

(_)

_The wedding's gone exactly as I planned_ Kurt thinks as he sees how happy his father and Carole are. Brittany and Artie are having a good time along with all of the other couples. He's brought out of his thoughts by a kiss on his cheek.

"You okay babe?" Puck asks, snaking an arm around the paler teen.

"Yeah, just fine," Kurt replies as he leans into Puck, placing a hand on his hand. "I guess I'm a little bummed that _we _can't ever have this. At least not in Ohio or 45 other states."

"Hey," Puck says, placing a kiss to the side of Kurt's head, "those old fogies that keep voting on _other _people's rights but scream when _their _entitlements are even talked about? They'll be dead soon." Kurt turns his head to look into Puck's eyes, horrified. "Then it's just us young guys and gals and everyone'll be equal," he finishes with a smile. _You look hot now, I can't even think of how much __**more **__beautiful you can look._

"You're right sweets," Kurt says as he leans into Puck more. "It just shouldn't be this hard, y'know?"

"Yeah. Oh, hey. Finn and I have something for you," Puck says as he nods to Finn and pulls away from Kurt, walking to the stage. Once on stage Finn begins to speak.

"I want to propose a toast to my mom, who's, so awesome. Who, somehow, without a man in the house, taught me to be one. Umm, in Glee Club whenever two of us got together we got a nickname. Rachel and I are Finchel, Rachel and Puck were Puckelberry, Puck and Kurt are Purt. Today a new union was formed, Furt. You and me man, we're brothers from another mother. And honestly, no one has shown me as much as you, about what it means to be a man. I know the last few weeks some stuff's gone down, and I haven't manned up like I should. From now on, no matter what it costs me, I've got your back... Even if it means getting an extra slushie. You put this whole thing together yourself, and I mean, wow."

Puck interrupts. "Actually I helped with the seating and meal planning. Kurt choose the designs." This results in a round of laughter that dies down quickly allowing Finn to continue.

"And pretty soon, hopefully soon, you'll be a brother too Puck," Finn finishes as he looks at his best friend.

_Wow, I'm good. But I actually like that idea. Man, I __**can't **__be falling in love! _Puck screams into his head, but nods and takes the mic. "And now I'll be singing a song for you Kurt, and Finn's going to dance with you. _With confidence_!" When Kurt finally stands and takes Finn's hands, Puck begins the song. "Oh, and I changed some of the words."

Oh, his eyes, his eyes

Make the stars look like they're not shinin'

His hair, his hair

Falls perfectly without him trying

He's so beautiful

And I tell him everyday (yeahh)

I know, I know

When I compliment him he won't believe me

And it's so, it's so

Sad to think that he don't see what I see

But every time he asks me "Do I look okay? "

I say

When I see your face (face face...)

There's not a thing that I would change

'Cause you're amazing (amazing)

Just the way you are (are)

And when you smile (smile)

The whole world stops and stares for a while

'Cause boy you're amazing (amazing)

Just the way you are (are)

His lips, his lips

I could kiss them all day if he'd let me

His laugh, his laugh

He hates but I think it's so sexy

He's so beautiful

And I tell him everyday

Oh you know, you know, you know

I'd never ask you to change

If perfect's what you're searching for

Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking if you look okay

You know I'll say

When I see your face (face face...)

There's not a thing that I would change

'Cause you're amazing (amazing)

Just the way you are (are)

And when you smile (smile)

The whole world stops and stares for a while

'Cause boy you're amazing (you're amazing)

Just the way you are (are)

The way you are

The way you are

Boy you're amazing (amazing)

Just the way you are (are)

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing (amazing)

Just the way you are (are)

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for awhile

Cause boy you're amazing

Just the way you are

Yeah

Everyone in the hall cheers as the song ends and Finn hugs Kurt. Puck replaces the mic and steps to the two embracing both of them. Finn steps back to allow his brother and best friend hug, lightly blushing when they kiss. Finn looks to his parents and see them smiling at their pale-skinned son and his contrasting olive-skinned boyfriend. The rest of the night is filled with joy, dancing, and kissing from all of the couples. Artie notices the false smile and fake pleasantness from Santana along with the glares from Mercedes at Purt. If the three notice, they give no indication.

(_)

With the public celebration over the Hudmel parents allow Puck to stay the night, as long as he agrees to be 'proper.' While the teen couple undresses they stop when they get to their skivvies. They look each other over, lightly exploring the exposed flesh. Puck pulls Kurt into a hug, his chest to Kurt's back. They slowly dance to a song playing only in their heads. Kurt visibly relaxes as he sways, feeling Puck's chest thrum as he lazily hums the beat.

"It must take a lot of time to keep your skin this perfect," Puck says into Kurt's neck, nuzzling.

"You have _no _idea Noah," Kurt sighs as he smiles, stroking the tanned arms enveloping him. "But it's worth it."

"It is, and I like it. It's silky and smooth, better than I've ever felt before." _Bet or no, I'm going for it. Not even Quinn made me feel this way._ "Babe, can I ask you something?"

"Um hum," Kurt mumbles, trying to look up into his eyes.

"When is _too _soon to fully open up in a relationship? I mean, each magazine says something different, so I was just…"

"Noah, you're rambling," Kurt says as he turns around, kissing Puck's neck. "Are you okay?"

Looking into Kurt's frosty blue eyes Puck decides to go for it. "I, umm, I think I'm falling in love with you Kurt." The look is only in Kurt's eyes for a nanosecond, but it's enough for Puck to spot it. "Too soon? I mean I came out to my Ma and all…"

Kurt shakes his head then kisses the lean boy still holding him within his arms, the only male to do so without it being an assignment _even though it technically was_. "No, no, just…" Kurt blushes as he tries to collect himself. "I'm glad that you came out to your mom. That means a lot."

"I've never told anyone that outside of my mom and sister. You know, that I love them? And… I can feel that I _mean _it," Puck says, hurt. "I didn't say something sooner because I didn't want to, like, ruin the good vibes from the wedding."

_What is this? What's really going on_? Kurt thought to himself as he cupped Puck's face. _I can do this, he needs to know you can't play someone and get away with it._ "I think, that I… love you too Noah," he says, surprised that he means it.

"I, I want to do something, to you. _For _you," Puck says, licking his suddenly dry lips. He tugs on the waistband of Kurt's boxer-briefs. "May I?"

Kurt instantly blushes head to stomach. He licks his lips as well and nods, unable to ignore the approval of the organ currently straining against his shorts. Puck kisses Kurt on the lips, slowly, placing his hands on Kurt's jaw. They stay in this embrace for a few minutes before Puck begins to trail chaste kisses down his boyfriend's neck, the center of his chest, around his undefined yet solid stomach, stopping on the waistband of the obtrusive underwear. Puck places his hands on the small of Kurt's back, rubbing small circles while kneading what flesh would bunch up. _So tender, athletic, sexy_,Puck thinks as he uses his mouth to begin pulling down the shorts, breathing in the aroma of Kurt. _He smells like vanilla and lavender, with a light earthiness_.

Kurt gasps as his previously unattended member pops free from the fabric, eliciting a gasp from Puck, whose warm breath on it causes a few twitches. He just admires it, how it looks like it was perfectly carved from solid manila marble. There wasn't a scar like on his or most other cut guys, it was just… _perfect_. "So beautiful, so perfect," Puck whispers as he takes an experimental lick along the underside of the head, then gentle kisses along the entire length. He takes in the head, treating it like another mouth he's used to kissing. A moan escapes from Kurt's mouth spurring Puck into further action. The sympathetic reaction in his own member makes a connection for him as he puts pieces together, knowing what he liked and now understanding how to do it to Kurt.

"Noah, this… it feels incredible," Kurt gasps as he folds his hands on the back of Puck's head, not pressing himself deeper into Puck's mouth, but the need for more contact and encouragement. Each flick of Puck's tongue, each slide of his mouth, exploding through his body, waves of pleasure crashing throughout his mind. Kurt slowly moves his hips, feeling the response of the teen in front of him. Without thinking, just feeling, they make their own rhythm.

Puck can feel the heat from his _now-lover's _body increase and how amazingly **hot **it was. He ignores his own throbbing flesh to focus on the perfect piece in his mouth. The taste is incredible, completely different from how it smelled, which was pretty good already. Moans escape his full lips as after several minutes a new taste emerges, sweet and lite. _He's close, and I want him to… need him too…_ He tries to speed up but is restrained by the movements of Kurt's hips.

"I… I want to Noah," Kurt mumbles breathlessly, his grip on Puck's head tightening. Puck raises a hand to Kurt's lips and lightly brushes against them. Kurt takes this, properly, as a sign to allow himself release. He takes three of the fingers into his mouth and mirrors what's being done to him, both of them moaning at the sensation.

The new taste is getting more intense, Kurt's hips moving faster, stronger. A minute later Kurt lets out an airy moan of Puck's given name, releasing into his mouth. He doesn't even flinch as the thick fluid fills his mouth and he swallows. He releases himself, gripping Kurt's left hip and willing his left hand to not ball, still being in Kurt's mouth. Both boys shudder as their orgasms crash through their bodies. Puck stands and holds Kurt in his arms, pressing them flush together. Kurt feels the newfound wetness in Puck's boxers with his now-sensitive member.

"Did you..?"

"Yep," Puck says, pressing a kiss to Kurt's lips.

"Without..?"

"Yep. You must just be that hot."

"You're amazing, Noah Elijah Puckerman."

"Not half as amazing as you are, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel."

"Shower sweets?" Kurt asks, feeling for the first time like he might be whole.

"Of course babe," Puck replies, leading them into the bathroom, holding Kurt's hand. _Okay, this is going to be a problem. I'm in love… with a dude…_

(_)

Spending a morning with Kurt and Finn wasn't so bad. Finn didn't know how to make much, but he could make some _seriously _good bacon. Kurt allowed this because it was turkey bacon and he was making organic vegan waffles. Things are going pretty well until it was time to clean up, and Finn brings up something he's noticed change.

"So, how'd you two sleep? Must be pretty good since you're _both _all smiles."

The couple blush at the same time and turn their gaze away from Finn. Kurt can't manage to stifle the giggles erupting from his mouth.

"Holy crap dudes – you two _did it_ the first time you're left alone?" Finn asks, absolutely stunned.

"Oh dear Gaga Finn, _our _sex life is none of _your _business," Kurt exclaims as he grabs the shopping list and begins to inventory the fridge.

"There, see? **That**! I really didn't need confirmation that my _brother _has a sex life and I don't!" Finn whines loudly as he tries to ignore the smirk on his friend's face.

Puck and Kurt share a knowing glance before Puck leans in for a kiss, whispering "wanna see him run and hide in his room?" Upon his nod Puck stands up and hops on the counter. "So, who do you think did what bro?"

"Guuunnhhhaa," Finn stammers out while flushing a deep beet red. "I… uh… you, umm, him," Finn trails off, making a ring with one hand and poking through it with the other.

Puck laughs as Kurt closes the fridge and sees the vulgar pantomime. He just rolls his eyes and pats his brother on the head, saying "Try again."

Finn deepens a shade and eye-points to Kurt then Puck with the same motion, earning a shake of both their heads. "I'm going to regret this. Who and what?"

Kurt spins Finn around so he's facing the stairs to the second floor and says "Noah's mouth does more than just kiss." The couple begin rolling with laughter as Finn runs up to his room, four stairs at a time. Once their laughter subsides Kurt gives Puck a kiss and hugs him.

"I need to go to the store. Mom and dad are going to be gone for…" Kurt trails off. He almost didn't hear what he had just said.

"Carole can't replace your mother Kurt, and she doesn't expect to," Puck says, rubbing Kurt's back. "Just like Burt can't replace my dad _or _Finn's. It's ok."

Kurt gives one more squeeze to his boyfriend before breaking the embrace. "So, I guess you can go and dish to your mom and Sarah, then be here for dinner?"

"If you can keep me away that long babe," Puck says as he kisses Kurt again. They give one last kiss before entering each of their vehicles and parting ways. Once a few streets down Puck starts to dial Santana, but gets a call from her before he can finish the quick dial.

"Hey sugar tits, wanna fool around?"

"Sure ladyboi. Usual place."

"Cool. Be there in ten."

(_)

Their kissing is sloppy, desperate, uninvolved. Shirts are pulled off and Puck is grabbing the B cups, fighting for arousal. Santana's grabbing his lats, his hair, pulling on his earlobes, trying in vain to have the slightest sensation of being turned on. Puck moves his mouth to the cleavage offered by Santana's amazing bust. There's still nothing. They push each other away at the same time, neither one of them panting.

"Well this is fucked up," she says first, breaking the silence.

"I'll say," Puck says, lightly poking the fly of his jeans. "Nothing down there. Not that you're not smokin' San."

"So you're actually attracted to Ladyface?"

He's silent for a moment, then lock's gazes with the fierce Latina. "More than that. I sucked him off last night."

"Seriously?" she scoffs. "Next you'll tell me you swallow."

"Well San, when you're right…"

"Puck, santo puto mierda!" she cries, pulling her shirt back on. She hangs her head, staying silent for a moment too long for Puck's taste.

"What's going in that evil head of your's San?"

"I found out about the bet. Was that all that was, swallowing cum? To win?"

Puck instantly enters angry-hulk mode. His fists tighten, his jaw sets tight, eyes raging. "Qué coño hablas perra? Crees Yo hice eso porque yo _tenía_ que? Yo **quería**!"

"I just found out from Azimio after I caught him cheating on that brunette. Okay, so I was spying, so what?" she says, staring him down. "Who's really the worse one here man-whore? Them for making it or you for taking it to prove you're really a man?"

"Fuck you closet rug-muncher. I'm done," he tries to storm off, but is thrown onto the bed and straddled by the lithe cheerleader.

"Look, I wasn't really a fan of Ladyface's, but he came to us for help to be sexy for _you_. And unless you're really in love, swallowing twinks like you _will __**never**_ be seen as badass."

Puck is instantly disarmed at her words. _I could out her, but no surprise there. She's the only one other than Finn that knows what happened last night._ "San, I told him that I love him. And I _meant _it…" Puck begins to tear up, knowing that at times like this she wouldn't judge him.

Her face softens and she loosens her grip, letting him slide his knees to his chest. "Wow. Sooo… what are you going to do? You can't really tell Kurt, but the guys'll use it as leverage."

"I don't know," he sobs, allowing them to take over. "San, I… what do I do?"

_I can't betray Kurt, but I can't ignore Puck. Piensa! Cómo salga de esto?_ "Okay, so you really love him. You must because of what you did last night. Maybe if you can show it enough it'll overpower the initial deception. But you gotta werk it **hard**!"

"I'm soo scared San! I never felt this way about Quinn, even after I was there when Beth was born." He begins to shake, being swallowed with regret and fear.

"It's okay Noah, I'll help you through this. Just be there when it's my turn, okay?" she coos, holding the normally-formidable teen through his pain. _**Exactly **__why it won't ever work with me and Britts…_

* * *

><p>la gouine <em>French for 'dyke'<em>

Cariño, ¿estás bien? _Honey, you okay_?

Dios Mio! _Oh God_!

santo puto mierda! _Holy fucking shit_!

Qué coño hablas perra? Crees Yo hice eso porque yo _tenía_ que? Yo **quería**! _What the hell are you talking about bitch_?_ Think I did that because I _had_ to_?_ I _**wanted**_ to_!

Piensa! Cómo salga de esto? _Think_!_ How to go about this_?

Umm, guys? You **may **hate what I do in the next chapter, but I _do _have a plan as to what I'm doing. Most of these things are going to work themselves out. There's also going to be a special side-story posting after chapter 4, mid-week.


	4. Bitches, Apologies, and Cherries

WTFH? Karofsky's been arrested? Burt and Carole got their honeymoon and Puck sung to Kurt? And Puck... Kurt? Wha...

Umm, with that said, please give this chapter a chance. And don't give up on the story because there's a _lot _more after this.

These boots are going to be kinda like a running gag: tinyurl . com /NAGMboots (cobalt blue, bronze buckles, combat-ready plates - think super-steel-toe/heel/sole)

tinyurl . com / NotAGM

Evacuate the Dancefloor, Cascada: Single (Robbins Entertainment LLC, USA)

Chronopsychology, M-Flo: Planet Shining (Rhythm Zone, Japan)

Character Dheela, Amrita Kak & Neeraj Shridhar: Ready Soundtrack (Super Cassettes Industries LTD, India)

* * *

><p><span>Bitches, Apologies, and Cherries<span>

_This has been a complete blast_ Kurt thinks to himself as he cleans up the dishes from lunch. It's a perfect Sunday, and he doesn't even mind that Puck had to go home to spend time with his Grams. He finishes up and gets ready to have a _Project Runway _marathon when the doorbell rings. Without thinking he goes to open the door and stops cold. Through the window he can see David fucking _Karofsky _standing on the porch. He does the only thing his mind can think of – he runs.

Dave can _feel _the fear even through the curtain that makes Kurt look like an abstract blur. He can hear the pounding of feet resounding through the older home, so he sits on the stoop and lets out a sigh. _What the fuck did he think was going to happen? I made it pretty clear that the guy was terrified of me._ He takes out his new phone and dials a number he's already memorized, despite it was just given to him a few hours ago. The answer is almost instant.

Kurt makes it to a semi-secluded corner of his room, but it puts him _under _Karofsky and in _front_, just underground. He can almost swear he hears talking, but can't place its owner's tone. He silently moves to the window that faces the walkway leading to the front door, which gives him a clear pickup of what's being said. _What, he's calling Azimio and Greyson to torment me at home?_

"I told you, he's terrified of me… no, just this first time. If I try again _now _he'll prolly die. I can't…"

_What the Vera Wang? Try what?_

"Look, I know! Just, I don't know. I think it's enough that I backed out of that stupid bet."

_Bingo! I knew it. But straight guys don't…_

"Well yeah, I had that before… I kinda bought one, his style… Uh, _duh_! … Yeah, that one."

_What's my style? Did he get me a present or something?_ Kurt begins to adjust his eavesdropping position to listen in for longer.

"Is this one of those _You'll do it if you love me _things?"

_Huh? Karofsky's in love? When'd that happen?_

"Uhh, sure. I'll try that. Thank you Dylan. Love you."

_Okay, I could __**feel **__him blush! He's actually a little more girly than me. What the?_

_I had a dream my life would be_

Kurt pulls his iPhone out and looks at the screen: _David Karofsky, iPhone_.

_So different from this hell I'm living_

_When did that jackass get my number?_

_So different now from what it seemed_

_Gotta answer this soon, it's almost over._

_Now life has killed the dream I dreamed_

Before the last word can fade out Kurt slides his thumb across the bottom of the screen.

"How in the life of McQueen did you get my number Karofsky?"

"_Umm, not to bring up bad memories, but your phone wasn't where I knocked it. I figured I'd, umm_…"

"Have fun did you?"

"_Please don't be fussy. You have my actual number. Everyone else just has my Gvoice number… except Z_."

"Really? And why should I even let you talk?" Kurt asks with cutting annoyance as he begins to move upstairs to the kitchen.

"_Because you're not a vindictive person and that seriously irks me_," he says as he leans forward, chest to his knees.

"That irks you? Why should that irk you?" Kurt makes it to the kitchen, but can't see the bully from the window.

"_Everyone's vindictive Kurt. I'm guessing even you are. Isn't that why you set up Mrs. Hudson with your dad, to try and get into Finn's pants_?"

"I would _never _do that!" Kurt says as he almost, _almost _rips the door open to kick the guy in the head.

"_So a Persian-themed room had nothing to do with the potential to see Finn naked? 'Cause honestly, it ain't that impressive_," he says with a chuckle, deep and friendly.

"And you suddenly have taste how?" Kurt blurts as he steps through the door, glaring at the large jock. As Dave turns around he sees a stunned Kurt Hummel. Kurt drops his phone and Dave dives to catch it, getting a face full of Dolce & Golbanna in the process.

"These screens have shit drop resistance," he says as he holds the phone up. "Sorry for trying to destroy it last time."

Taking the rescued phone Kurt ends the call and looks his 'former' bully over. "By all means David come in." As he stands up Kurt can now see that the clothes he's wearing are _definitely _not his. _Shirt from Prada, jeans from Vera Wang, boots from… _"Oh my Gaga, who's boots?"

"Huh?" Dave says as he looks down, then back up to the smaller teen. _He means a designer._ "Umm, I don't know. They're motorcycle boots that Dylan stepped up…"

"Was that the guy you were talking to?" Kurt asks, still staring at the boots.

"Heh, umm, you heard some of that?" Dave says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Kurt looks up to glare a 'duh' at him and notices the bruises on his neck and a trace of a scrape mark. "Umm, busy weekend in lockup?"

Dave looks down at his boots and shuffles them a bit. "No, not really. I was only there until about two in the morning Friday."

Kurt sighs and resigns to the fact he may have to finally use that tazer they keep in the arm of the recliner. "Come in, I'll make some tea and you can dish."

"Uh, cool. Thanks," he says as he grabs his phone and messenger bag from the stoop before following the other teen into the kitchen.

"Sooo, if you weren't in juvie, then where were you all weekend?" Kurt asks as he fills the kettle and lights the stove.

Dave lets out a nervous laugh before replying. "I uh, was in Akron. With Dylan. He got my record… _taken care of_."

"Akron huh? And what, exactly, is _taken care of_?" Kurt says with over-the-top air quotes.

"Well, you bribe a few people, get all of the physical records, and toss them into a wood chipper," Dave replies, looking everywhere but at Kurt. He mumbles "_After-having-incredible-sex-after-rehearsing-with-Vocal-Adrenaline._"

"I'm sorry what was that?" Kurt mocks as he pulls some green mint tea out of a cabinet.

Dave sounds a defeated growl before answering Kurt's no-answer-required question. "On the way up Dylan and I took turns… _doing stuff_, then we did more stuff at his place. And more stuff before we went to Carmel for rehearsals."

Kurt's face becomes _ivory _white as his jaw drops below his room. "You **saw **them rehearse? What the IKEA _**hell **_are you talking about?"

"Dylan's the male vocal lead and the choreographer for Vocal Adrenaline," he says, blushing. "And it pays _offstage _as well," he finishes as he folds his arms on the table and tries to hide his blush."

"Wait," Kurt says, more masculine than anyone's ever heard him, even that time he went all Mellencamp with Brittany. "You got sprung from juvie by _Dylan Logan_, did… _stuff _on the drive to his place, and **watched **him rehearse with Vocal Adrenaline?"

With his head still in his arms he simply nods, only now he's smirking as well.

"Well doesn't that beat all," Kurt says, throwing up his hands. The kettle begins to whistle so Kurt sets up the tea plate and brings it to the table Dave's slouching at. Kurt thwacks the back of his head, both to indicate poor posture and because he saw the smirk.

Taking the steeping tea, Dave smiles. "Um, Kurt? I'm totally, 100% gay. I hope you can understand how terrified I was. And jealous that someone could be _allowed _to be that way at home."

"Your parents wouldn't approve?" Kurt asks as he takes a test sip. _A little stronger would be good._

"My parents, I think maybe would. Dylan's parents didn't, at least papa," he sighs as he pulls a tablet out of his bag and fiddles with it.

"What's that?" Kurt asks, wondering if it's some kind of oversized Android phone.

"A trip down Nightmare Lane," he replies, playing a video for Kurt the two of them can only watch for a few seconds once the screaming starts. "That red-head-"

"-Dylan, got it," Kurt says with his hand over his mouth, horrified. "Did you even _do _anything?"

"All I did was give him a bro hug and a quick kiss on the head," he says, adding a little cream and sugar to his tea. "He was a completely different person after he came back from the camp," Dave finishes, frowning sadly.

Kurt takes this in, the story and sight of his primary bully looking so pensive and depressed. _Camp? What kind of camp does THAT_? "Umm, in that video you were what, eight?"

"Nine," Dave exhales, sipping his tea. "He got back from reparative camp just before our seventh birthday."

"The **fuck**?" Kurt shouts, glaring at Dave. "**Someone's **parents sent their _**SIX **_year old child to be **tortured**?"

Dave sighs and lets his forming tears drop as he speaks. "We fell asleep watching a Star Trek movie, and we were cuddling, you know, like kids. I guess papa didn't like that, so he punched me and dragged Dylan to the car." Dave clears his throat to hide a sob, but Kurt sees through that. "I didn't see him for three months."

Kurt nods and takes Dave's hand before speaking. "I understand why you were so scared now David. It's one thing to _know _something like that can happen, but to _have _it happen…"

Dave looks at his hand and gives a weak smile. He then pulls their joined hands up and kisses Kurt's. "You deserve better than Puckerman. He's just playing you."

"I know," Kurt says as he pulls his hand back, slowly. "But it's not like I have many choices here. Blaine's our competition and _that_ doesn't work well for us, and you have Dylan, even though-"

"I don't have him," Dave interrupts. "He… wants me to have boyfriend first." He sounds absolutely defeated.

"Oh, I see," Kurt says, somewhat dejectedly. "Am _I _even your type?"

"You're gorgeous Kurt, but a little too… _lithe _for me. I like… more solid, beefy guys."

"Meathead for meatheads?"

They both laugh as they just stare each other down, rolling their eyes.

"So if you know you're being played, why are you two still an item?"

"Because I'm playing him harder. But..." Kurt sighs and leans back in the chair. "I don't know. I think... I'm falling for him."

Dave gives a surprised look and matches Kurt's imperfect posture. "How so?"

Kurt looks him in the eyes, full of longing and hurt. "He sucked me and swallowed when we got home from the wedding. And it was incredible."

Once Dave pulls his jaw up and gets the oddly hot image out of his head, he tries to speak without laughing. "Huh. Have you considered that maybe he's falling for you? The bet was to pop your cherry, not swallow it. And I never expected you to be so… _normal _about talking about things like this."

"If it proves he's badass, I think he'd do anything. And I'm learning a few things," Kurt says, hanging his head. "But, let's say, for a second, that he does actually have... _feelings_ for me. What would it change?"

"Well for starters it would be a first for him," Dave replies. "You know, in addition to the blowjob. And it would make the bet meaningless."

"Alright, change of subject. This one's driving me nuts. Do you have a coming out plan?"

"This," Dave says while gesturing between the two of them, "is step one. Next I apologize to glee club and audition." Before he can continue Kurt jumps up.

"Excellent! I have the perfect piece for you!"

Dave smirks, mischief dancing in his eyes. "Sure thing _Rachel_."

The smaller teen freezes, then falls to the floor in uncontrollable laughter. It isn't even interrupted when the front door opens, a shout of 'what the fuck' is uttered, and Dave falls next to him.

"David, what are you doing in Furt's house?" Rachel asks, pensively approaching him.

Through his laughs Kurt replies. "He came to apologize, and he did. Then he made a funny!"

"Good hook Finn," Dave replies as he rolls to his back. He smirks again as he adds "that old wives tale of being sore after you're topped the first time? Totally wrong."

"Okay I never heard that," Rachel says while cringing then helps her tormentor up. "Shouldn't you be in a cell somewhere?"

"Legally, I was never there. Rachel, Finn, I'm sorry I was a complete asshole to you," he answers. When he sees Finn lost in his confused little mind he places a hand on his shoulder. "That last comment meant that I'm gay dude. And it's actually awesome."

The wheels finally click and Finn looks to his girlfriend, brother, and teammate, then he shrugs his shoulders and grabs a Sprite.

"Part of Dave's coming out is auditioning for glee," Kurt says as he manages to stop laughing and stands.

"Excellent! I have the perfect piece for you!" Rachel says as she claps her hands. Dave and Kurt share a look and start laughing again, leaving the straight couple blinking.

"Can you guys, maybe help me?" Dave asks as he pats his new friend's shoulder.

(_)

"So how was your Sunday babe?" Puck asks as he hugs Kurt, placing a kiss on the back of his neck.

"Interesting," he replies as he closes his locker and turns to give a full kiss to his tanned, toned boyfriend. "Um, I need to talk to you," he says as he tugs Puck to an empty classroom.

"You're not, like, breaking up with me, are you? 'Cause Ma'll be seriously be pissed."

"No. Dave's back."

"Say what?" Puck says, nostrils flaring. "I guess ICU works too," he seethes as he turns to leave. Kurt grabs his arm.

"Sweets, he came over and apologized. To me, Finn, and Rachel. He wants to talk to you too, said it was about poker?"

Puck's heart sinks and it shows. _If he told Kurt, fuck! I can't do anything. I'm going to lose the only person I've let myself love_. "Did he say anything else?" He asks dryly, licking his lips.

"Nope, that's it," the ivory-skinned teen replies, the lie obvious. "He'll wait in the A/V room until 7:40."

"Thanks babe, but, can you really trust him? What if he just wants me out of the way so he can have you to himself?" Puck whispers.

"He came out to us, I'm not his type, and he kinda has someone," Kurt whispers back, kissing him. "Go see what he wants," he finishes, pushing him playfully out the door.

(_)

"What do you want Karofsky?" Puck asks as he slams his backpack down.

"I told the others that I'm out of the bet," he replies, reaching for his wallet. He pulls out two $50's and hands them to Puck. "Show Kurt a good time."

Puck just stares at him, unsure of what to do.

"Take it. I owe you. A lot," he says, pushing the bills into Puck's shirt. "I'm sorry I threatened you, but if I hadn't been sent to juvie, I wouldn't have spent the weekend having awesome gay sex," Dave finishes, waiting for Puck to respond.

"Um, thank you?" Puck manages, absently pocketing the money. "But, why?"

"I've known I was gay my whole life and got terrified into the closet," Dave says as he places a hand on the shorter teen's shoulder. "And I know that he loves you. Not your tight body or amazing cock, _you_."

"I love him too dude," Puck says, voice cracking. "Why does it have to be like this?"

Dave ruffles the mohawk and turns to leave, saying over his shoulder "sometimes love needs to beat you over the head before you know it's even there."

_Yep, that's what happened. And it's getting pretty awesome..._

(_)

"Hey Purt," comes Santana's voice as they're making their way to third period. "I needs to snag urt for a sec, 'k?"

Puck gives Kurt a quick kiss before heading off, ordering the latina to take his boyfriend to his next class.

She stops them in an alcove between lockers and addresses him civilly. "You know we tried fooling around Saturday, right?" After Kurt's shrug she continues. "So we get our shirts off, but nowhere near getting off."

"Your point 'tana?"

"He's actually falling for you. And he uh, wanted to do that _thing_, on his own."

Kurt blushes with shame, knowing his intuition was right. He swallows on a dry mouth. "So why tell me? Should I care?"

"I know that look Ladyface. You're ashamed. Trust me," she trails and turns her head.

"Look, 'tana, I'm sorry I called you a dyke last week," Kurt says, but whispers "but you are gay, aren't you?"

Her facade breaks through her nod and the few tears that escape, but locks back into place as she meets his eyes. "That's not the issue right now." She presses him into the alcove, against him inside his personal space. "I don't care if he's gay or whatever he is. If you love him, try to find a way to make his _heart_ win against his _mind_, okay?" When he nods and mouths 'will do,' she leaves.

Kurt slides down the wall, tears welling in his eyes. _What the fuck did I get myself into? How can I keep Noah without pissing off Puck_?

(_)

"What?" Rachel screams as everyone gets quiet.

"Since Quinn and Sam won the duets competition the opening number goes to them, and now we just need a group number," Mr. Schue says as he scans the room.

"That's not fair!" Rachel screams, red with fury.

"What's not fair is you hogging all the songs to feed your delusional ego," Brittany says flatly.

"Or that your man's been lying to you," Santana adds, causing Finn to blush.

"What does _that_ mean, slut?" Rachel shouts, lost inside her rage.

"Santana, don't," Finn pleads, weakly.

"Last year before regionals? We totally got it on."

Rachel stops mid-tirade, looks to Finn, and runs out of the choir room crying. She slams into Dave but doesn't stop. Quinn's trying to follow her and she manages to not run into him. He nods to the left and smiles.

The screaming in the room is intense and at first no one but Finn and Puck notice his presence. As he gives his request to Brad and the band the shouting focuses on him.

"What are you doing here?" from Sam.

"Hell no white boy! Get out!" from Mercedes.

"Sorry, but don't you hate us?" Tina asks, honestly willing to let him answer.

Mr. Schue's attempts to quell the glee-riot fail, each gleek screaming or being drowned out. No one even sees Kurt and Finn move behind Dave and nod to Brad.

"Hit it guys!" all three say at once.

(Unlike Cascada, Dave dances and switches between breakdancing at the chorus and lock-pop/clubbing during the verses)

[Dave]

Turn up the music

Let's get out on the floor

I like to move it

Come and give me some more

Watch me gettin' physical

And out of control

There's people watchin' me

I never miss a beat

Steal the night

Kill the lights

Feel it under your skin

Time is right

Keep it tight

Cause it's pulling you in

Wrap it up

Can't stop cause it feels like an overdose

(Feels like an overdose)

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor

Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound

Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me

Hey, Mr. DJ let the music take me underground

Everybody in the club

Evacuate the dancefloor

Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound

Everybody in the club

Stop, this beat is killing me

Hey, Mr. DJ let the music take me underground

My body's aching

System overload

Temperatures rising

I'm about to explode

Watch me I'm intoxicating taking the show

It's got me hypnotized

Everybody step aside

Steal the night

Kill the lights

Feel it under your skin

Time is right

Keep it tight

Cause it's pulling you in

Wrap it up

Can't stop cause it feels like an overdose

(Feels like an overdose)

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor

Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound

Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me

Hey, Mr. DJ let the music take me underground

Everybody in the club

Evacuate the dancefloor

Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound

Everybody in the club

Stop, this beat is killing me

Hey, Mr. DJ let the music take me underground

[Finn]

Come on and evacuate

Feel the club is heating up

Move on and accelerate

Push it to the top

Come on and evacuate

Feel the club is heating up

Move on and accelerate

You don't have to be afraid

[Kurt]

Now guess who's back with a brand new track

That got everybody in the club going mad

So everybody in the back

Get your back up on the wall and just shake that thang

Go crazy, yo lady, yo baby

Let me see you wreck that thang

And drop it down low, low

Let me see you take it to the dancefloor, yo

[Finn]

Everybody in the club

[Dave]

Evacuate the dancefloor

[Finn]

Everybody in the club

[Dave]

I'm infected by the sound

[Finn]

Everybody in the club

[Dave]

Stop, this beat is killing me

Hey Mr. DJ let the music take me underground

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor

Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound

Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me

Hey, Mr. DJ let the music take me underground

Everybody in the club

Evacuate the dancefloor

Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound

Everybody in the club

Stop, this beat is killing me

Hey, Mr. DJ let the music take me underground

As the song ends everyone slowly relaxes to a mostly neutral state. They eye him as they try to figure out how one, he can sing, two, breakdance, three, lock-stop, and four, why he's even there.

"Dude, why are you here?" Puck asks, taking Kurt in his arms. "And why were you two helping?"

"My way of apologizing to all of you," Dave says as he pats Finn on the shoulder. "And, uh..." he trails off.

"Those were some sick moves," Artie asks as Brittany wheels him over. "Where'd you learn 'em?"

"Heh," he starts, but rubs the back of his neck. "I ahh, learned from Dylan. He's umm, my future boyfriend, I guess."

Sam's the first to respond as the others are trying to remember how to speak. "Sooo, that's what that was about? You being in the closet?"

"Uh, yeah," Dave answers as he hangs his head. "A lot of shit went down when I was little that scared the fuck out of me about being gay."

"And you remember how long it took for me to come out, so no gossip about this guys," Kurt adds, placing a hand on Dave's arm.

"So I'm guessing Rachel found out about you two?" Dave asks as he gestures between Finn and Santana.

"Good guess Closet McPherson," is the latina's reply. "Guess she's the only one who didn't know."

Dave snickers as he pulls something out of his backpack. "Sunshine asked how those two were even together, with as prissy as Rachel is."

"Dude, that chick Rachel sent to a crack house?" Puck asks, brow furrowed.

"But she's at Carmel," Mike says, puzzled.

"So was I," Dave says over his shoulder as he helps Lauren with a DVD projector. "If you guys just told us about the rush of performing, we'd get it."

"Right, but how would you know that?" Mercedes asks as she eyes the jock.

"Watch, learn, cry," Dave says as he rolls the screen down and sits. Lauren grabs the remote, kills the lights, and starts the disc.

"I'm not pausing this so pay attention," she says as she sits between Dave and Kurt. "Show choir's stupid and 20 Cadbury eggs only gets you playback."

[Sunshine w/Dave & nameless VA Male as background]

Mister, hey won't you be mine

Kakemeguru kurayami no naka

Itsuka my heart will shine bright

This time, you better be mine

Tamashii ga sakebidasu ima

Shizuka ni place your lips to mine

[Sunshine]

Tsuki no hikari wo abinagara ohoshisama to hanasu hitoban juu

Chinmoku no RIZUMU ni norinagara odorikuruu watashi wo mite warau anata

My mind keeps playing tricks on me mou anata ga inai kara

Tell me, am I just crazy? Hada ni kizamu wa, your name

Nobody knows where I've been, all the troubles I have seen

Kanashimi kara no nigemichi wa tada hitotsu dake...

Nobody knows my misery & what is dear to me...

[Sunshine w/Dave & nameless VA Male as background]

Mister, hey won't you be mine

Kakemeguru kurayami no naka

Itsuka my heart will shine bright

This time, you better be mine

Tamashii ga sakebidasu ima

Shizuka ni place your lips to mine

[Sunshine]

Anata ga kami wo tooshitaku shi wo taiyou ni mukete tonaeru no suru to

Kikoete kuru you na inai hazu no anata no ashioto

I sing myself some modern day blues, warai koraete

I close my eyes so I can see nemuru anata no yokogao

What a dream, can't believe, this craziness happened to me

Kako ni furikaeru koto naku susumitai keredo...

Reality ain't what it seems, so won't you tell it to me...

[Sunshine w/Dave & nameless VA Male as background]

Mister, hey won't you be mine

Kakemeguru kurayami no naka

Itsuka my heart will shine bright

This time, I'll make you feel right

Tamashii ga sakebidasu ima

Shizuka ni place your lips to mine

[Dave]

This atmospheric barrier is torn through

People flaunt supernatural styles, it's Spawn 2

Yo, nanatsu no mugendai no SAIZU choushizen kai no mae no sedai no sonzai

Yo who can pantomime this arashi no maebure

Afureru shakunetsu no stunts, I'm bitin' bullets

Bakuzen tobashi ni kitaze to rip the scene

Partner, it's hard to imagine this MAJI ni

I modulate your frequency and we zenshin

with three engines, propellin' them to outer limits

Kono shinri jou de maigo

I control, gravity, it's vertigo

[Sunshine w/Dave & nameless VA Male as background]

Mister, hey won't you be mine

Kakemeguru kurayami no naka

Itsuka my heart will shine bright

This time, you better be mine

Tamashii ga sakebidasu ima

Shizuka ni place your lips to mine

Mister, hey won't you be mine

Kakemeguru kurayami no naka

Itsuka my heart will shine bright

This time, I'll make you feel right

Tamashii ga sakebidasu ima

Shizuka ni place your lips to mine

Their second number starts with Dave center, Sunshine in the back right corner and Dylan in the back left corner. Guys are always with Sunshine, girls with Dylan, until the last verses.

[Dave]

Girl when I say you say chat

The way your body go tick tick tick tock

Oh place such a beat now

You got the club locked

No matter what they say

Baby girl you rock

[Dylan]

Kudiyon ka nasha pyare, nasha sab se nasheela hai

Jise dekho yahaan wo husn ki baarish mein geela hai

Ishaq ke naam pe karte sabhi ab raas leela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Ho main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

[Sunshine]

Ladkon ka nasha pyaare, nasha sab se nasheela hai

Jise dekho yahaan wo husn ki baarish mein geela hai

Ishaq ke naam pe karte sabhi ab raas leela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Ho main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Hai simple sa ye formula, hai love ka funda khokhla

Mujhe bas pyaas to ye dil cool cool cool cool rehta hai

[Dylan]

Kisi ka haath thaam ke, hridaya kyun baad naam ke

I love you forever koi fool fool fool fool kehta hai

Isse peenei se hai matlab, ye yovan santreela hai

Farak padta hai kya baahon mein munni hai ya sheela hai

Ishaq ke naam pe karte sabhi ab raas leela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Ho main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

[Dave]

Girl when I say you say chat

The way your body go tick tick tick tock

Oh place such a beat now

You got the club locked

No matter what they say

Baby girl you rock

Wind that thing yo

Shake that thing yo

Back it for me the way you swing it

Heart is so low that you are stealing it

Do it to me right

We can do it all night y'all

[Dylan]

Yeh charcha Facebook pe hai, mazaa bas ek look mein hai

Hassi chehre ka kaun deedar baar baar baar baar karta hai

[Sunshine]

Jo dil ka photo frame ho, waha photo kyun same ho

Calendar ki tarah usei roz roz roz roz change karta hai

[Dylan]

Kamar patli ho jitni bhi mazaa utna nasheela hai

Chalega jo bhi hai aankhon ka rang kaala ya neela hai

Ishaq ke naam pe karte sabhi ab raas leela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Ho main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Kudiyon ka nasha pyare, nasha sab se nasheela hai

Jise dekho yahaan woh husn ki baarish mein geela hai

[Sunshine]

Ishaq ke naam pe karte sabhi ab raas leela hai

[Dylan & Sunshine]

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

Main karoon toh saala, character dheela hai

"Huh," is the collective response from everyone but the two brothers and Puck. They stare at him like they just found out he's Midas and it's a weekend for a garage sale.

Lauren gets up and puts the DVD back in its case, tossing it back to Dave. As she's breaking the setup down she says "not bad. Make me a copy and you're good for another full setup. With five flats of purple peeps that is." She then walks out, wheeling the equipment.

"What'd we miss?" Quinn asks as she sits Rachel down, looking very unhappy.

"Well Karofsky's joining glee and he helped Vocal Adrenaline win their sectionals," Mercedes answers as she takes a seat next to Rachel, cradling her.

"Wait, how does that happen?" Quinn asks, looking even more unhappy.

"He's sexing Dylan," Rachel chokes out.

Quinn opens her mouth, closes it, and walks over to Dave. She pulls him up and lifts his shirt, all in one swift motion. The room gasps at all of the scrapes, hickeys, and bruises. "Okay, so, what? He's getting a solo then?"

"Nope, don't want one," Dave replies as he adjusts his shirt, Puck helping with the collar.

"Everyone, come up with your ideas and we'll figure this out before we leave tomorrow," says as he dismisses the club. "And Dave, I want a copy of that disc."

Dave nods as the teacher walks out. He looks to Rachel to see if she's okay, but it sent her into another rage.

"So, another talentless hack getting in my way," she says as she stands, stalking up to Dave. "And how long did you know, hmm? You jocks standing in solidarity?" she finishes, slapping the hulking teen.

"Rachel have you gone full Hilfiger?" Kurt screeches as he pushes Dave, and for good measure Finn, behind him.

"You're the worst! You were supposed to be my friend! And you knew about those two?" Rachel screams at the top of her lungs and backhands him. There's a wet, sliding sound. When she pulls her hand back it's red.

"What the fuck Catherine Trammel?" Puck says as he rips off his shirt and puts it to Kurt's busted lip. "You and Finn weren't together then!"

"Shut up man-whore! What, do you need a new hole each-" Rachel's cut off as she's backhanded by Kurt, Puck and Dave trying to pull him back.

"Listen up Test-Tube-Diva! One way or another guys lie about that. And all it means for straight guys is if they got off _in_ someone or _by_ someone! GET OVER IT!"

"Guys really only have one virginity Rachel," Finn says, trying to placate her. "If you count, you know, guy alone time, then there isn't a single virgin guy who has one that works."

"Rachel, I know that this is upsetting for you, but why are you so furious?" Quinn asks placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Because the first time's supposed to be special, not... _**cheap**_!"

Tina, who's been watching quietly, stands and gets right in Rachel's face. "Then maybe you should talk to every single male on the planet! Guys who stay virgins after, what, 13? Are SHAMED, sometimes _forced_ to lose their virginity."

"Tina's right Rachel," Puck says, placing the shirt back on Kurt's lip while Dave tries to clean his now bloodied shoes. "There're plenty of stories of gay kids being beaten by one or both parents until they have sex with a girl."

"Rachel, please, can we just talk about this?" Finn asks as he takes a step forward.

"We better get Kurt to a hospital," Mike says as he notices how much blood there is on the floor.

"C'mon Rachel, you need to get cleaned up darlin'," Mercedes says, pulling both her and Finn out of the room, Quinn giving a weak smile to Sam as she follows. Mike, Dave, Puck, and Tina leave too, but to a different destination. The remaining gleeks just stay, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

(_)

"You didn't have to leave work on my account Nora," Kurt says as he's tended to on the Puckerman couch.

"Nonsense," she replies as she checks the stitches again. "Dr. Lopez does yet another great job. Even a doctor would have a hard time seeing this one."

"Ma? You're babying," Puck says as he fixes the TV trays, liquefied dinner for Kurt.

"And why not?" Sarah says as she takes a seat and changes the channel to a recorded episode of Mythbusters. "Curving Bullets. Myth?" she asks, looking at Kurt.

"Um, _duh_?" Kurt replies, ruffling her hair.

"So, Rachel," Nora says as she takes her seat. "she really went psycho about that ONS with Finn and Santana?"

"Yes," comes a stereo response from both teens.

"I don't get it," Sarah says as she takes a bite of her Mac & cheese. "There's only two male virgins: that Jesus guy and Paul." She returns her mothers' glare and finishes her thought. "And I never said they were in the Torah. Most of the men in _our_ book had a lay for each day of their adult life."

"Sarah, what did I tell you about sex talk? Of any kind?" Puck says as he pleads for help from Kurt with his eyes.

"Not until you're dead."

"Just checking," he replies as he sees his mother grinning. "What's so funny over there Ma?"

"With as many times as you've gush over Beth's birth you'd think it'd scare her."

"You'll rue that if I end up being a late in life lesbian," Sarah quietly says as she looks up to the TV to see Kari with a pistol. "Really? Well it's your kid. What do I care if it's born deaf?"

"She's really going to do gun stuff while she's pregnant?" Kurt asks.

"Not as tame as you'd expect from a vegan, huh?" Puck answers with a question, kissing Kurt's cheek.

"So Kurt, what are you going to do about Rachel?" Nora asks before taking a sip of water.

"I... Haven't thought of that," Kurt responds as he tries a sip of his dinner, shuddering at both the texture and flavor. "I guess my response depends on if and how she apologizes." Kurt's feeling the anesthetic and only sees Puck wipe his face.

"You can't rock the toddler look babe." _I don't like Kurt being hurt, but I love that he lets me do this. _"It's okay, just a few days and you can eat normal food again."

"Dinner's good Noah," Sarah manages as she sits mesmerized by the TV.

"It's not as good when it's a food-shake," Kurt says, a little whiny. "Maybe next time each item can have its own glass sweets?" Kurt adds, kissing the corner of Puck's mouth. _He's really sweet, trying to help me fit in like I belong here._

Noah thinks for a second, taking a bite of his eggplant. "Maybe we should ask Coach Sylvester about protein powders? I don't know how to cook for blenders and I don't like you being left out of good meals."

_He really is offended, but he's offering to do this himself_. "Um, you really don't mind Noah?" Kurt asks.

_God he's still hot, numb and all_. "It's just for a few days, right? I'll make your favorite to make up for it."

Kurt gives a genuine smile as he replies. "Shakes now, Portobello hamburgers later..." He presses a kiss to Noah's lips and whispers "deal."

After dinner Nora cleans out the nearly clean stitches, making sure both boys know how to do it. As the teens get ready for bed she's called back to the hospital.

Purt are sleeping soundly when there's a shriek, piercing through their dreams. Kurt's on his feet and out of Noah's arms before the tanned teen has even rolled to his back.

In less than a few seconds Kurt is at the bottom of the stairs, staring at the source of the screech. Sarah appears to be fighting someone in her sleep, trying to get away. He runs to her and cradles her, rocking.

"Sarah, it's okay. It's just me and Noah. Wake up sweetheart."

Her panic begins to ebb as she slowly wakes up, exhausted. Noah slowly makes his way over, making sure his sister knows he's there.

"I... Was little when dad left," she whispers. "I know he hurt Noah, and he was shouting... But anytime I fall asleep on the couch I start to..."

"It's okay sweetheart, I'll stay until you're feeling safe," Kurt murmurs, wrapping his arms tighter around her.

Without thinking Noah goes to the kitchen, fills a glass with water, and returns. Sarah takes the glass and chugs it. "Thanks. You _do_ realize we're keeping Kurt, right?" she says as she hands the glass back.

Noah sets the glass down and wedges himself behind Kurt, nuzzling his neck. "I plan to."

"I like that idea," Kurt says as he begins to hum a song he can't quite remember hearing. _He really has fallen for me. The feeling's mutual..._

(_)

"Kurt are you okay?" Ms. Pillsbury asks as he and Puck pass her office. "I heard Brittany and Artie taking about what happened after Will left yesterday."

"Nothing a good cosmetic surgeon couldn't handle," Kurt replies, squeezing Noah's hand.

"There won't be a scar and he didn't need any blood," Noah adds, giving Kurt a chaste kiss.

"I haven't told Figgins yet. _Should_ I tell him?" She asks with genuine concern and confidence. "Do you think she'll-"

"Let us try to handle this ourselves Miss P," Kurt replies. "If Quinn and 'Cedes were able to talk any sense into her she'll try to make up for it." She nods and slowly goes back to her office.

"What's the policy about gays, chicks, and catfights?" Dave asks as he comes up behind them, an arm around each of their shoulders.

"Fem guys are fine, but masc guys like us can't touch 'em, right?" Puck says, then asks Kurt as he finishes the statement. The boys begin to walk toward their first period classes as they enter into an awkward conversation.

"Don't tell me you're ready for the big C.O. already Dave?" Kurt smirks as he tries to give a quick kneed to Puck's back but can't, given the large teen in between them.

"Um, no, not yet," Dave says as he tenses just a little. "How's your lip Kurt?"

"It's going to be fine, I just can't eat solid food for a while."

"Dude, bummer," Dave says as he breaks his embrace to enter his classroom. "Puck's an awesome cook."

"Careful dude," Puck says as he gives a playful punch to the other jock. "If it gets infected there will be a scar." Kurt simply rolls his eyes as they proceed to his Contemporary Literature class.

(_)

"Finn, really?" Kurt all but shouts in the cafeteria. _For me? And... Puck_?

"She just has this thing, kinda like you did, about fairy tale, 40's movie romance." Finn looks sick, but he's holding it together well enough to not seriously worry anyone.

"Dude, didn't you like, take forever to finally date her?" Dave asks as he glares at Azimio, who's making vulgar gestures at their table.

"I still can't believe she hit you!" Quinn says, pushing her spaghetti away. "And that hard..."

"She broke down once her rage died out," Mercedes adds before popping a ranch-covered tot in her mouth. "Three hours later of course."

"That's a record even for her, isn't it?" Dave asks as his hand's slapped away from Mercedes' plate, over the tots.

"Any chance she'll join a Jewish nunnery in Israel?" Santana quips as she successfully steals a tot from the black girls' tray. Puck smirks at her and raises an eyebrow.

"I doubt it," Puck says. "We just need to make her chose between being a part of Glee and, well…"

"No, she'll apologize," Finn says as he shoves some ketchup-covered French fries in his mouth. "She's really torn up. Her dads grounded her for six weeks."

"Damn!" Mercedes says as she pops another drenched tot.

"Six weeks? Wow, so _that's _how a dad should do things…" Quinn trails off.

"Let's just get through the rest of this day," Dave says as he gives Mercedes sad puppy eyes, earning a tot for the effort. "My mouth seems to be working faster than my brain."

"Careful, we don't want you crashing through _that_ door until we got it opened," Mercedes says as she turns her tray after catching Santana lifting _another _tot. "I guess I better start paying the extra 75 cents for double, huh?"

"So I jog an extra mile, so what?" Santana says as she pops the pilfered tot. "Running never killed anyone."

"Just the distracted driver that runs them over," Kurt says as he leans into Noah. _Game, real, it doesn't matter. I like the way this feels._

Puck lets out a laugh as he turns to hold Kurt against him. "Okay, I _can't _be the only one who thought of the opening of Scary Movie." The other tables just stare at their table as they all bust out laughing.

(_)

Kurt and Puck just stare at the box handed to them by Finn, after getting it from Rachel. The couple open it and both of their jaws drop. In the box are two Luis VItton Monogram Ikat Shawls, blue. One is monogramed KEH, the other NEP.

"I wanted to properly apologize, for what I did yesterday," Rachel says as she addresses the glee club. "I said some things that… well, I _do _mean them. I shouldn't've been as venomous about it."

"Rachel, you can slap and hit _me _all you want," Dave says, "but I can take it. Kurt isn't built quite that way."

"I know. Kurt, I'm _so_ sorry." Rachel hangs her head. "I lost my solo _and_ my boyfriend because I couldn't let myself stand back and let other stars shine."

"That's actually pretty big of you Rachel," Mike says. "You still get to participate you know."

"I know, and I think I have an idea for the group number," Rachel replies as she pulls some papers out of her purse. "Santana, are you ready to lead a number?"

The cheerleader just stares blankly at the young girl addressing the group. "Wait, _you're _giving _me _a lead?"

"And I was thinking that this number should be able to be done with three couples dancing. Given the balance," Rachel hands some sheet music to Santana, and begins to pull people into pairs.

Dave and Tina are looking at each other, then Rachel. Tina speaks first. "Rachel, what's going on?"

"Mike and Brittany are the best dancers we have, so they should be featured. You and Dave are a good match for Kurt and Noah."

Mr. Schue looks at his formerly-overbearing star and just takes everything in. He lets them go on for fifteen minutes before speaking up. "Guys, an idea?" Once he has their attention he continues. "Rachel's right. Mike, Brittany, you are the best dancers we have. I think you two should come up with the choreography in the group number, and come up with a second set if Dave, Tina, Kurt, and Puck can't pull off what you have planned for yourselves."

The group looks at their teacher, to each other, and surround him in a group hug. By the end of that Tuesday they have a rough idea of what they want and agree to rehearse at Kurt's house, as he has the space and everyone can rehearse at once.

(_)

Of course Mike and Brittany are doing the number flawlessly, they came up with it. But after two hours of practice Dave and Tina along with Purt have it mostly down. The flip is a bit difficult to do for Kurt and Noah as Kurt can do the flip, but Noah's the one with the strength to push off. After the fourth run through it's decided that Kurt will do the flip while Noah is the brace. Even Finn's performance has improved, and everyone notices.

"Great job guys!" Brittany says as she gives everyone a hug. "Finn, you too!"

"Thanks," he replies sheepishly. "I guess I'm actually paying attention to keep myself busy."

"You really are improving Finn," Rachel says as she wipes herself down with a towel before putting it in her duffle. "I need to get home. Dad's moved my curfew to 8:30."

Kurt shuffles his feet for a second before approaching her. "You did good, setting all of this up," he says pensively.

She hangs her head down, acutely aware of the fact the room is now silent. "I know not all of my ideas are great." She raises her head again, eyes almost imperceptibly shiny. "It's nice that you guys actually listened this time. I was wrong to believe that none of you respected me."

Kurt wraps her in a hug as everyone else begins to file out, giving generic goodbyes. "There's a line between a star and, well, Lindsay Lohan. You're finding it."

She lets out a giggle before breaking the embrace. "Thanks Kurt. I… I should go. Curfew…" She trails off as she turns and heads up the stairs.

"Yeah, I should go too, I guess," Finn says after Rachel disappears from view. "We've kinda been taking boyfriend time away from you two."

"Take care man," Noah says as he gives Finn a hug. "Don't be afraid to, you know, knock on the door if you need to talk or something."

"Cool" Finn replies as he turns and heads upstairs.

"That went well," Kurt says as the door to the room closes, wrapping his arms around Noah from behind. Noah rests his head against Kurt's.

"I might not like her, but she always surprises me," he says as he wraps his arms around Kurt's.

"At least she hasn't questioned our relationship. Unlike a certain chocolate diva," Kurt replies as he presses a kiss to the tanned boy's neck.

"What's Mercedes have to say about us?" Noah asks as he turns around to look into Kurt's awesome blue eyes.

Kurt can see the hurt in Noah's eyes, the same hurt he recognizes from his reflection last year when he still had that crush on Finn. _I shouldn't tell him._ "Does it matter? _I _say _you're _good enough for me," finishing with a soft, gentle kiss. The other boy sees the flash of anger and regret in Kurt's eyes before they get too close to focus on.

_I hope that look isn't for me. I can't lose him. I __**won't **__lose him, even if I have to get rolled every day until I graduate…_

(_)

The next three days go pretty smoothly, if you exclude the looks Mercedes and Quinn keep giving Kurt and Puck, the three slushies dished to the newest couple (the first was too unexpected to do anything about, but the other two resulted in Kurt's messenger bag _accidently_ smacking into the offender's temple, and _happened _to be with the metal reinforcing corners on the bottom each time), a slushie to Dave that results in a dislocated jaw to his offender, and a shouting match between Tina and Brittany about whether or not she was cheating on Artie with Mike.

On Friday after the last in-school rehearsal Quinn approaches Kurt as he's discussing a possible trip to the mall with Puck and Dave to meet up with Blaine. She waits for an acceptable break and jumps in.

"Sorry to bother guys, but could I talk to Puck alone for a few minutes. I promise it won't take long."

Kurt, Noah, and Dave take turns glancing at each other and nod. Kurt places a kiss to Noah's cheek, poking his tongue out a little to leave a small wet circle. "See you in five?"

"Sure babe. This shouldn't take long."

As the two unlikely friends leave, Mercedes runs up to them. "Hey, can I borrow my boo for a second? It's been a while and we need to dish."

"Mind if I tag along? I always wondered what Kurt and his Dame talk about," Dave asks wondering why some freshmen are staring at him.

"Okay, guess you don't get that," Kurt says as he leads the trio to the parking lot.

"Since when do you follow Pandora Boxx?" Mercedes asks as she rolls her eyes.

"What? She's gorgeous," Dave replies almost in a whine.

"If you say so straight boy," Mercedes answers. Seeing that she made her point to the jock she focuses on Kurt. "Don't tell me you actually _like_ being with Puck?"

Kurt instantly enters bitch-mode and throws shade back. "He was good enough for _you_ when _you_ were still a Cheerio."

"Yeah, but wasn't he using you for your rep?" Dave asks. He cringes when both divas turn their gaze on him.

"'Cedes, I love you like my chocolate sister, but back off. Besides, I don't _have_ a rep to use."

"Boo, I don't want you getting hurt."

"First loves always hurt," Dave says, voice cracking, before he can stop himself. Kurt does his best death-glare at Dave as Mercedes just freezes.

"Wow... Guys?" she trails off as she just stares at them. "Really?"

"Please don't question me boo," Kurt says as he drags Dave into the parking lot. "Try not to mention queen stuff until you're out, okay?" he whispers to Dave as they reach the Navigator.

"It's not like I mentioned kai kai or anything," the jock replies as he closes the door and heads to his truck.

_WTF? He knows what kai kai is? What's with all these guys watching DragRace?_

(_)

_Okay, this is something we didn't rehearse_ Kurt thinks as he's now dancing with Brittany. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Puck dancing with Tina and Dave dancing with Mike. A few more verses and now he's center with Dave as Tike and... _Prittany_, flank them.

_The crowd's gonna love __**this**_, _just wait_! Puck thinks as he reverses the launch and is now center-stage with Kurt. As the last six verses of Valerie are delivered, **perfectly**, by Santana, Puck leans back with an arm around Kurt's chest, leaning with him. The crowd's cheering gets even louder, and Rachel seems to be the only one not hurting from it's deafening intensity.

Once in the green room the only answer to the question of 'how'd you plan that?' is a shrug. For the first time in weeks no one is arguing and the compliments are flying. A knock on the door gets their attention.

"I hope I'm not intruding," Blaine asks as he takes a cautionary step in.

"Not at all Blaine, please," Kurt replies as he gestures to an empty seat next to him and Dave.

"Thanks. Wow! That was some performance guys," he says as he takes a seat. "And I knew you were in New Directions, but wasn't expecting you to be here."

"Well, I'm full of surprises lately," Dave replies as he tries to hide his blush.

"That's an understatement," Tina replies, rolling her eyes.

"Um, okay," the Warbler says, suddenly realizing he's touching knees with the reforming bully. "I'm glad you're coming out of your shell a bit."

"And slowly the closet," Dave replies, smiling. "I'm out to the glee club."

"That's a good start," Blaine replies, slapping the jock's knee. The lights blink and a collective sigh fills the room. Everyone files out leaving Dave and Blaine.

"Huh, that was fast," Dave says as he stands, offering a hand to the slimmer teen.

"Thanks. So..."

"Yeah..."

"You're a bit more confident than last time Dave..."

"Wanna grab a coffee sometime?" Dave asks in a rush.

"Um, sure, Dave."

"Let's see who lost," Dave says as he takes Blaine's hand. Their hands stay linked until just before they reach the stage.

"This was an odd competition to judge, but we agreed rather quickly," the emcee drawls. "This year's Western Ohio Show Choir Sectional's runners up are..." Despite sounding boring, he's working the drama. "... The Hipsters!"

While the geriatrics are accepting their trophy Rachel and Blaine exchange glances of 'the Hell?' Once off the stage the emcee picks up his pace. "Your 2010, Western Ohio Sectional's winners are... the New Directions!"

Before joining in in the instant celebration on stage, Kurt and Puck shake Dave's hand, noticing Blaine walking over with Wes and... Kain?

"Congratulations guys. I guess we need a little more practice before we can expect to win, huh?" Blaine says while shaking Dave's and Mr. Schue's hands.

"We didn't expect you to be such great dancers," Wes says, shaking hands after Blaine.

"We'll remember that next year though," the other Warbler says.

"About that coffee, it's cool-" Dave starts as the other choir members are almost offstage.

"- on me. Loser pays?" Blaine says with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows.

"So, it's a date?" Dave asks, swallowing down a suddenly dry lump in his throat.

"Of course, dork!" Blaine jokes as he hands a card to the jock before jogging to join his team.

_I just scored a date with chiwawa! Cool_!

* * *

><p>Umm, WOW! Soo, did someone replace Karofsky with Dave-Crystals? An alien Stepford Teen? Brain transplant? Asshole-ectomy?<p>

And please don't hate the story for how Rachel acted. In this story I've decided to compress all of her bitchiness (I want to use another word, but won't) into a just a few outbursts.

I started to write what happened to Dave in juvie, but after I noticed that I was starting on page three of that I decided to just make it it's own chapter. It has plenty of slash, putting people in their place, and real teenage dialogue.


	5. The Sexy Adventures of Dave and Dylan

For those of you who have not condemned me to a life of being a complete fuck-tard, here's the side story of what happened to Dave while Burt and Carole got married, Kurt had his first sexual experience, and Puck & Santana realize they have more in common than they first thought.

Oh, before I forget, skip this chapter if you **DON'T** want to read hot cub/cub-bear/bear slash! You've been warned: _slash_, **Slash**, _**SLASH**_! You will, however, miss out on one person that puts Goolsby in his place, EVERY time it's needed. And Sunshine's only friend at Carmel.

tinyurl . com / NAGMboots

tinyurl . com / NotAGM

Redlight Special, TLC: CrazySexyCool (LaFace Records, USA)

* * *

><p><span>The Sexy Adventures of Dave and Dylan<span>

"Wait, I need another phone call!" Dave yells, beginning to full-on panic.

"You've had it and they didn't answer," the warden says, replacing the handcuffs and lifting the teen to his feet.

"No, no, no! One more, _**please**_!"

"Nope," she says. She then leans in and whispers "Cocky fucks get the shit beat out of them, the whiny pussies like you? Pin cushions."

He stops dead in his tracks for a second before being forced to keep pace back to his cell. Once deposited and unrestrained he stares at his current cellmates in the holding area. "Sup?"

"My cock to your ass if it weren't for that glass wall over there. I like it when they scream," comes a cold response from some guy in a black A-shirt, cargo pants, and a Raider's hoodie.

"Or your lunch when I cram my dick down your throat, whiny bitch," comes another cutdown, this one from a guy with Matt's skintone, but wearing kakis and a Metallica tshirt.

"How about my fist up your ass if you even _piss _when I'm looking, MILF-fucking _**cunts**__!_" Dave seethes. A third guy gets right in his face.

"Really, you fag, swallowing, pussy?"

The guy falls to the floor, bleeding, the instant Dave headbutts him. Dave just cocks his head to the two mouthy ones and takes a seat, sneering. They scoot as far away as they can and still be in the same cell. Ten hours later, two more headbutts, and three cells later, he's getting used to the idea of having to stay where he is. That wasn't happening either.

"Karofsky? Wake your sorry ass up, you're leaving," comes a seriously bitchy reply from a pretty burly sheriff.

"Wha?" He replies, confused. _It's prolly from sleep. There's no way I'm leaving without a court appearance._

"You got some friends punk. You were never here," the guard replies, clanging his cuffs. "You know the drill by now."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. OUCH!" he screams as the cuffs are intentionally over-tightened. _At least they let me keep my long-sleeve shirt…_

Before he gets to the cells there're catcalls by the ones who just _won't _obey the lights-out rule, but as he passes them his glares shut them the fuck up. _Heh. I could totally __**rule **__this place, show up Suckerman and have Kurt myself._ _Except he don't like jail-guys like that… I think…_

He crosses the threshold between the inmate section and freedom when a sight makes the world stop. There's a guy, maybe early twenties, standing at a counter. He has shoulder-length copper-red hair, broad shoulders, large tapering lats, about six-three, and a build like a sexy spark plug. He's wearing all black and something that looks like a mashup of combat boots and dress shoes. He seems to be arguing with the clerk (at two-thirty in the morning?) but getting his way. He turns his head and gives a nod to someone in a side office, and Dave's heart stops cold. _No way? It can't be __**HIM**_? The _teen_ is handed a bag and a folder, then begins to walk toward him. After noticing that Dave's cuffs hadn't been removed, he lifts a set of keys off a passing policeman.

"We'll talk later, like outside," he says in a baritone voice, releasing Dave's aching wrists from the improperly applied restraints. "This is step one."

"Of what Dylan?" Dave asks, letting fear into his cracking voice willingly.

"Showing you how sorry I am for beating your ass seven years ago," the red-head replies, tossing the cuffs and keys to the policeman and nodding. "Come," he says as he waves to Dave and walks toward the exit. Dave follows without question.

Once outside Dave looks around and doesn't see any familiar vehicles. Before he can ask any questions he's pushed into an alcove of the building, which is obscured with a few tree branches. He's held in place with vice-like hands and immovable arms as lips are pressed to his. There's no malice or violence in the kiss itself, and Dave begins to respond, kissing back. Lips part, and tongues dance lightly, figuring each other out. Dave lets out a small whimper at the same time the red-head places a _very _strong hand on the crotch of Dave's jeans, feeling the results. As quickly as it started it's over as both boys try to regain their breath.

"That was… pretty cool," Dave replies as he adjusts himself.

"You understand what I meant by that, right?"

"Yeah, I think. Where did you come from Dylan?"

"Long story," he replies, scoping the sidewalk. Seeing no one he pulls Dave out of the alcove and toward his Hummer. "Quick answer, I went a little schizo. I don't remember anything between camp and after that birthday party."

Dave folds his arms and stops, glaring at Dylan. "Seriously? That's a bullshit story if I've ever heard one."

"Okay. Is your favorite dessert cheesecake?"

"Duh dumbass," Dave replies as he rolls his eyes.

"Did mine change after I came back?"

"Yeah. You went from coffee ice cream to white chocolate chip cookies."

"Dude, I hate white chocolate, and I hate every cookie other than mint double-stuff oreos," Dylan replies.

"Fine, what about the fact you went from _gushing _about Final Fantasy to going as far as _hating _every _fucking _video game soundtrack ever made?" Dave shouts.

Dylan just shrugs his shoulders. "What did I get you for our seventh birthday?"

"Glay's _One Love _album, first press, express overnight."

"Dude, _I _don't have a copy of that. And why would I get you _Glay _when _M-Flo's _sooo much better? Or not get both of us a copy?"

"Fine, and M-Flo broke up in 2003," Dave replies venomously. "Remember I got you that set of throwing knives for our eighth birthday?"

"No."

Dave scoffs and marches up to Dylan. Once in his personal space he lifts up Dylan's shirt and places his hands on bare skin, finding what he was looking for on Dylan's back just under the right kidney. "This scar, right _here_? _**I **_gave that to you when you said it was ok to throw those knives at you. That you'd use your ninja skills to dodge it." Dave looks into Dylan's eyes and sees nothing but pure confusion and hurt.

"That's… that's where I got that scar?" Dylan asks, his voice cracking. "That wasn't from, the party? When I…"

"No, between your dad and-"

"I saw the videos. I saw myself knocking your teeth out, kicking you when you were down. I just don't remember it. At all," Dylan finishes, wiping tears from his eyes with the scarf he's wearing.

"So," Dave swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing, "you really _don't _remember?" Upon seeing his old friend's head shake, he embraces him. "I'm so sorry." After a few minutes Dave lets go. "How'd you know I was in juvie?"

"You didn't show up on Live, no tweets, nothing. I crawled and found your FaceBook, and let me tell you…" he trails off, wiping away a few stray tears. "'Cmon, mine's the Hummer."

"Live? We've been going head to head?" Dave asks as he walks next to his old friend, relaxed.

"At first. I'm FragFag708."

"Fo Schiz?"

Dylan nods, letting a giggle escape. "I'm actually glad you're gay, but that doesn't mean we're going to date or anything. We should try to be friends first," Dylan says as he unlocks the hulking SUV, opening the door for Dave.

"I can do that," Dave says as he climbs in. When Dylan climbs into the driver's seat he adds, "although it's going to be hard. You're a _great_ kisser."

Dylan blushes, taking Dave's hand. "Dude, wait until you feel what _else _my mouth can do," he says with a knowing smirk. "At the moment mom and dad don't know what's happening. Allen County's public computers aren't all that secure and neither are AT&T's voicemail servers. You're staying with me until the end of the weekend."

"Umm, Akron?"

"Yep. You're going to watch Vocal Adrenaline kick ass at sectionals. You'll of course record it for your 'friends' at McKinley." When Dave nods he continues. "Second, you'll _personally _apologize to…" he trails off until he can glance at the paperwork in the folder he carried out. "Kurt and Puck. At least Kurt. He's the gay one, right?"

"Yeah… I kinda…" Dave trails off, not really sure he should be stirring shit in someone else's car.

"Came out to him by accident?"

"Yeah. I kissed him."

The engine revs up 1500 RPMs before going back to normal, which is good because they were on the onramp to the 309. "That's fucked up."

"I know. I'm not sorry that I did it, just that I forced it on the guy," Dave replies, pulling his letterman out of the bag.

"You're not going to wear that until we head back to Lima," Dylan says, letting Dave's hand go and placing it on his thigh. "Any questions you have for me? Preferably personal ones?"

Dave's silent for a good fifteen minutes, feeling the warmth of Dylan's hand through the denim of his jeans. He finally gets the courage to begin asking questions. "Have you ever, uh, _done _anything?"

Dylan laughs. "Of course I have. Just not with guys who're worth it. Have you?"

Dave blushes, smiling embarrassedly. "Well, um, no? I mean I've felt up a few chicks and made out with them, but… no."

"Wanna change that? No strings, no commitments, other than friendship."

A few more minutes pass before Dave fully understands what's being offered. "Wait, you wanna take my V-Card?"

Dylan scoffs and smiles as he answers. "Unless you think virginity's something seriously special. And I mean now. We'll be coming up on a truck stop in about a minute."

Dave nods and tries to think of reasons _not _to accept some likely good sexing. "You don't have anything, right?"

"I've been with two guys, said they were clean, didn't trust them. My tests last month say I'm cleaner a than life-long nun. Forty-five seconds."

"And you're not like, trying to seduce me, are you?"

"Just offering some help… and getting a taste of something I've not only wanted for a while, but that I'm actually attracted to. Thirty seconds."

"Huh," Dave says as he shakes his head. "I guess… umm, okay?"

"Good," comes Dylan's reply, giving Dave's thigh a squeeze. "Move to the back seat and pull a towel from the duffle." While Dave's moving Dylan grabs the CB attachment and makes a call out. "Breaker, Sam-28. Going to be nine-seven at six-six-three. Need a way party for at least ten, copy?"

Dave stares at his friend, confused. _What the hell is he doing?_

"_Goddess Mave copy party. Who's the special guest?_"

"Gonna be the usual Bhum Goddess."

"_Copy that Sam. Kisses from the girls._"

"TKS ladies. Sam-28 out."

"What was that all about," Dave asks as they hang a left at the exit and into the truck stop. As if on cue, all of the trucks around them begin idling and playing music a little loud. One of them lets their load roll back a little, shielding them from everyone else.

"We can't have everyone _hearing _what I'm about to do," Dylan says as he leans over Dave, eyes filled with desire and mischief. Dave nods, and Dylan begins to kiss him, more passionately than at juvie. Hands are moving over clothing, exploring. Dave whimpers as cloth is moved and bare skin contacts his stomach and chest. Dylan deftly lifts off both Dave's shirt and under-tee and feels the solidness and fur under them. "Fucking _hot_," he groans into Dave's mouth as he leans them over to lie on the large seat.

"You like this?" Dave asks as he pulls up Dylan's shirt, revealing _very _defined muscles _everywhere_, covered in short, dark-red fur in the front. The answer to Dave's question is answered by the loss of contact on his lips, two new forms of contact elsewhere replacing them. The mouth leaving wet suckling trails on his jawline and neck are pretty exciting, but so is the hand that's snaked its way under his jeans. A pleased moan comes out of Dave's mouth.

"Of course I like it," Dylan says as he applies more pressure with his mouth, now on Dave's neck. The gasp that escapes his mouth causes Dylan's hips to buck instinctively.

"Mark me. Show me you like it!" Dave's pleas are becoming incoherent as he lets himself give in the sensations he's feeling. _I know I'm safe. It's a car, but… _"Unnngggghhh!" He screams as a bite is given just above his collarbone and a nipple is squeezed. The hand is removed from his achingly hard member and begins to undo the button, then the zipper of his jeans. Dave's nails are digging into Dylan's back as the sensations are building on each other, magnifying them.

"Do whatever feels good. I'll tell you when I can't take it," Dylan says as he shucks the jeans and boxers down to Dave's knees and kneels above the exposed groin, staring at the impressive cock and balls. He moves his hands back up to those perfectly round nipples as he pulls _both _testicles into his mouth with just enough pressure to get the job done. Dave's hands are moving up and down the length of Dylan's arms, to his neck and down to his wrists, almost like he doesn't know where he wants to touch.

"So good… feels so fucking good," is all Dave can say as each flick of the larger teen's tongue elicits a wave of pleasure that is foreign to him, but now desperately craved. His gasps are turned to moans as the sensations are instantly moved from his balls to his member – all of it. He opens his eyes enough to see his pubes almost fused to Dylan's nose. "Yeah, balls deep dude…"

_Fuck he's almost too big! _Dylan thinks as he takes in his old friend's cock. He loses himself in the sensation of having his entire mouth and half his throat filled with this Bear-God's manhood. He relaxes into it and uses all of his muscles to give a _total _blowjob, a proper one. He doesn't bob like a girl or porn actor would, because he doesn't need to. He tries to take a hand from Dave's nipple to massage his balls, but they're both grabbed and placed into a vice grip on one hand, his other grabbing a fistful of hair and pressing down.

"Soo fucking good Dylan," Dave groans out as he begins to buck his hips, doing what Dylan wasn't. "I need to fuck that hot throat of yours," he pleads, his thrusts becoming harder and faster. He shoves Dylan's hands under his ass and squeezes one of them. "Yeah, kneed my ass. Rub out my juice from behind."

A couple of minutes later Dave's thighs are twitching and he shoves his hips up as he crashes Dylan's head down. "Feels _sooo __**fucking good KURT!**_" The first shot goes right into the back of Dylan's throat, and Dylan pushes himself _further _into Dave, wanting more of him inside. Once the spurts are done he comes up, licking his lips.

"You taste _awesome _dude," Dylan says as he kisses Dave again, giving him a taste of the new flavor, then laying on top of him. He nuzzles Dave's neck and strokes his head. "It's okay, we're good."

After a minute Dylan gets up and puts Dave's jeans back on, then his own shirt. He then takes the driver's seat and grabs the CB.

"Sam-28, party over. TKS Mave."

As the engines turn off and the trailer moves forward her reply comes in. "_Pleasure's all ours. Nice job_."

"Any time Goddess. Glad you approve." Dylan then pulls back onto the 309 and continues their journey. Dave finally realizes what happened that last minute and hurriedly puts his shirts back on.

"Dude, I'm so-"

"It's cool," Dylan cuts him off. "I'm not offended. You did what I told you - you did what felt good."

"Screaming someone elses name while _busting_ _a load_ isn't cool."

"True, but like I said, NSA. I mean it," Dylan says with a quick glance at Dave. Long enough to show he is, in fact, fine.

Dave hangs his head for about ten minutes, mulling this erotic turn of events. He turns to Dylan, noticing that his cock's out and rock-hard. He's lazily feathering it with his fingers. "Um..." Dave starts, not sure if he'll be into this himself. "Can I, may I give you road head?"

Dylan smiles and grabs Dave's left hand, wrapping it around his pud. "First, when I say stop, I mean it. No movement. Second, you're going to swallow. Sometimes you don't get a choice, but I want your first taste to be someone clean."

Dave nods and carefully kneels on Dylan's right side. He slowly begins working, taking in the earthy smell of Dylan. He pulls the foreskin back and gives a quick lick. _Soo sweet_, as he tongues the head, making the whole member twitch. He slowly moves down, pausing to allow his mouth and throat time to adjust. He gets to the base and hits his gag reflex, which has never been triggered before. _I didn't think I had one. _Teeth accidentally scrape against the shaft, eliciting a growl from Dylan.

"Careful stud," he says, placing his right hand on Dave's head, fingers brushing through the short black hair. He gives his cock a twitch to indicate he should continue.

Dave smiles as he proceeds, forcing the reflex to dissipate. He can taste and feel the thickness of precum oozing from the long thick member - and he wants more. He takes a third of the throbbing twitching member and strokes the rest, pumping more of the sweet fluid out. 'Little Dave' begins throbbing back to life as the volume of thick fluid increases.

"Damn you're a _natural_ Dave," Dylan says as he lightly fists the furry jock's short hair. "You like my juice? So sweet..." He trails off, breath hitching and cock twitching. He keeps driving through the flashes in his eyes, the euphoria of Dave's sexy talented mouth servicing him. Just before his hips start to buck ten minutes later he calls out "stop," commanding it, not asking.

Dave obeys, waiting for the command to continue. When the hulking SUV comes to a stop at a turnout he's pulled into a fierce kiss, Dylan's tongue reaching for the back of Dave's mouth, almost reaching it, stroking himself.

"Ready stud?" Upon the nod Dylan nudges his head back to his aching cock.

Dave works at a furious pace, one he didn't know he was capable of. In less than a minute his mouth is almost overflowing with sweet thick man juice as Dylan screams his name, pulling his hair with that vice grip. He swallows at least four mouthfuls before the shooting member can be pulled from his mouth. It of course stays in Dave's mouth until it's just leaking its normal, thinner liquid. Once again he's pulled into a kiss, this one gentle, comforting.

"So talented, so _fucking_ **hot**," Dylan says, panting, pressing his forehead to Dave's. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he whispers, kissing Dylan's forehead before taking his seat again. "You taste _really_ good."

Tucking himself back in, Dylan gets back on the highway. He takes Dave's hand and gives a squeeze. "We can try more at my place, if you want."

"What about your parents? And rehearsals?"

"Dad died a week later, after the party. Mom's in a mental hospital. And my aunts got arrested in London after Sebastian stole their car. They broke his nose for playing me, so he thought a car was a good trade."

"So, you mean it's your place?"

"Yeah. Do you still want more? Exploring your desires?"

Dave thinks for just a few seconds before answering. "I'm here with you until, what, Sunday?" When Dylan nods Dave replies "Sure you can handle years of pent up angst?"

Dylan lets out a laugh, a deep laugh that shakes the windows. "I'm pretty sure I can," he says as the laughs turn to giggles. "You game?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Dave licks his lips, tasting the sweetness from just a few minutes ago. He nods to himself, finally responding with "Game on dude."

(_)

The rest of the drive is pleasant, filled with talk of sports, games, and their lives since their split up to them meeting on the Team-2 server.

They get in at about 4:15 and have another go, this time 69 with some finger play. They shower together and spoon on the bed, waking up at 7:30.

After some Udon and a jog they take another step in their exploration. Dave pushes Dylan against the wall, chest first, pinning him with his chest. He pulls the collar of the red-head's shirt down and bites at the nape, then drops one hand down the front of his shorts the other down the back, sticking a finger into the sweaty tightness.

Whispering into Dylan's ear Dave says "Like Nine Inch Nails said, I wanna feel you on the inside." Before anything else can be said Dave pulls his hard rod out of his shorts, along with a small bottle of lube he palmed before the jog. In one deft move he opens the bottle, lubes his member until it's dripping, then just slams himself in. Dylan starts to scream but is muffled by Dave's hand, his thrusts hard but slow.

"So goddamn **tight**," he mumbles into Dylan's neck, sucking a hickey along the jugular. "Put your hand on mine, and if you stay quiet I'll free your mouth."

Dylan simply nods, seeing their refection in the entryway mirror. _It hurts, but it's hot too_... as he fights back tears. He moves just slightly, a little down, a little to the right...

"**FUCK**!" Dave screams as his cock's squeezed hard, Dylan screaming his name. "_So_ _**fucking**_ _**TIGHT**_!" Dave increases his speed, keeping with his brutal force. He can't help but grip his friend's hips tighter.

Minutes later Dylan's hand leaves Dave's and begins to stroke himself, each pull going to his ass and Dave's insatiable erection. "**Fuck**! _That spot_, _**THERE**_!" Dave knows he's going to get a treat, and wants total control. Pulling that hand away he takes over, the precum making the pace he wants possible.

"Wanna feel you shoot your balls, my cock hitting your spot," Dave croons, speeding his thrusts and strokes to a pace Rocco Siffredi can only dream of. Dave erupts first with a primal scream of '_**Dylan**_!'

Feeling Dave's first squirt right on his prostate sends him over the edge, firing against the wall with a very loud splat. Neither can tell if Dylan's pulling out Dave's load or if Dave's pushing out Dylan's, but both relax into each other, tenderly touching.

It takes a few minutes to regain their balance and breaths, but when they do they both notice the burger-patty sized glob on the wall and pancake-sized puddle on the floor. This gets them chuckling, looking at the mess of their latest mind-blowing, even more intense orgasm than the last one.

"Go clean up, I got this," Dave says as he kisses Dylan and nudges him toward the shower.

"Awesome," he replies, dazed. Once cleaned up and dressed they look at themselves together in the mirror.

"Hip-hugger jeans look good on you," Dylan says as he totally checks Dave out.

"I'm not liking the boots though," Dave replies, giving some test movements. "They're unnaturally comfortable though." He's rewarded with a kiss.

(_)

Rehearsal goes well until Dave corrects one of Sunshine's verses in the first number. She _did_ get it wrong, but Goolsby throws a douche-squirt. That results in Dave being drawn into rehearsals on stage, but not in a position where anyone would be during competition. There's five more runthrus of the first number.

The second event happens when Dylan won't slap Sunshine during two parts of the group number. The eighth time it goes thusly:

"That's not it! Do it **right**!"

"I'm not hitting a chick unless she's charging me with a weapon! Fuck you Goolsby."

"Sorry, not my type."

"I just wanna see your face when I cram my 35 centimeters up your ass." Goolsby of course walks out, muttering 'go home' as he flees the auditorium at the speed of light. Dave walks up to Sunshine and closes her jaw.

"It's pretty nice actually," Dave says, trying to be playful. It instead results in rolling laughter from the show choir.

"Can we grab something to eat? But not hot dogs. Not, after _that_..." Sunshine asks, falling back into uncontrollable laughter.

"Sure," Dylan says, trying to stifle his own laughter. "I'll grab your backpack."

(_)

"You're from McKinley, right?" Sunshine asks when the cheesecake's brought out. When Dave nods she continues. "You're the one I saw talking to Rachel. Is that other guy your friend?"

"Azimio? Yeah, he's my friend. Best friend actually," Dave replies, taking a bite of his slice.

"Will he stay your best friend though?" Dylan asks as he swallows a bite.

"Why wouldn't he?" Dave asks, a confused look on his face.

"The whole _gay_ thing..?" Sunshine hints while waving her fork between the two hulks.

While Dave tries to hide inside the remainder of his desert Dylan replies for him. "He's not out."

"Coulda fooled me," she says while savoring another bite.

Dave snaps his head up, looking right at her. "What the hell does _that_ mean?"

"Dave, don't get mad. You are gay."

"I mean, it's like you two have been dating forever. You two just click," she says nervously, her eyes avoiding Dave's.

"What do you mean Sunny?" Dave asks, almost a whimper. He swallows nervously.

She picks at a piece of grahm crust, trying to find the right way to explain herself. "It's just, like..."

"Just spill it manage*, I'll keep him from doing anything," Dylan says, placing a hand on hers.

She looks up at him and gives a weak smile. "Thanks kuya*. Um, well, like when you spun wrong the second time we ran through the first number? Dave was smiling at you with his eyes. And when you told Dylan you had no interest in being onstage? He was _reall_y hurt."

"What's so telling about that?" Dave asks, even more confused than before.

"Well, that's the way... The way boyfriends should act," Sunshine says, cramming another piece of the rich desert in her mouth.

"And your comment about how nice my 35 centimeters are," Dylan adds, smirking. "I haven't dated anyone since I moved to Ohio."

"Huh," is Dave's only response as he joins in the cake-cramming.

The rest of dessert is eaten in silence, but not awkwardly. Sunshine stage whispers '35? Really?' To which Dylan simply nods to. When he goes to pay the tab, Sunshine takes Dave's hand.

"You _do _know he loves you, right?"

"Say what?" Dave asks as he drops his fork.

"I've only known him for a few months, but I know that look," Sunshine says as she daintily wipes her mouth. "Whatever you two have going on, it's killing him to not _be _with you."

"To be honest it's just friends with benefits," Dave says, shaking his head. "At least that's what _he _says it is."

She looks at the dark-haired jock and nods, squeezing his hand. "Has he told you the one thing he won't do in a relationship?" Dave looks up at her, shaking his head. "He won't lie/hide/pretend. If you're not comfortable doing what you're doing here," she hangs her head, whispering "he won't actually date you."

Before Dave can reply Dylan comes back and puts his hands on Dave's shoulders, giving a slight squeeze. Dave's hands go up and squeeze back. "Ready to go home guys?"

Sunshine nods and stands. Hugs are exchanged and they make small talk to the exit. The boys wave their Filipina friend off. Once out of the parking lot Dave pins Dylan to the Hummer.

"I'd say you're ready to come out," Dylan says as he almost looks into Dave's hazel eyes.

"What is this that we have Dyl?" Dave asks as he cups Dylan's cheek. "It's more than sex, isn't it?"

"I told you, I want to help you-" Dylan gets cut off as Dave kisses him, softly, carefully. Dave's arms cautiously wrap around Dylan's back, holding on lazily. After a few moments Dave breaks the kiss, looking into the tear-filled eyes of his friend.

"So, you really _do _love me," Dave says, trying to keep his voice from breaking.

Dylan hangs his head, resting his hands on Dave's hips. He manages to whisper "yes" loud enough for Dave to hear, but doesn't look up.

Dave tilts Dylan's head up, to look into those emerald eyes again. "Why didn't you say something? Why don't you… don't you want _more _than this?"

"I can't, let you love me until you're sure this is what you want," Dylan says, a little more solidly. "And we couldn't really work after this weekend anyway."

"So it's not worth trying to do?"

"You need to be out, to not be hiding anymore," Dylan says, tears starting to escape from the corners of his eyes. "_We _can't work yet. _I'm _trapped here until Vocal Adrenaline loses or I get kicked out. _You _have a lot of damage to repair back in Lima, and that includes dealing with the fallout of your coming out."

"I know," Dave resigns, resting his forehead against Dylan's chest. "But, I want _you _there. You, _instill _me with something. Confidence? Courage? Whatever it is, I need you with me to do this."

Dylan cradles Dave's head with one hand, rubbing his back with the other. "We have to be able to at least crawl on our own. And it isn't just me in this," Dylan says as he places a kiss to Dave's hair. "Sunshine has _no one_. She can't go make friends, and the Academic Decathlon can't really protect her from Gooslby's mood swings."

Dave sighs and gives Dylan a squeeze before responding. "So now's just not an option, is it?"

Dylan returns the squeeze. "No. But I do love you David. I just… I don't know how to explain it. But I want you to try and find someone else before being with me." He breaks their embrace and looks into those golden eyes of Dave. "Just one boyfriend. If it doesn't work, then we'll figure out a way to be together. Is that okay?"

Dave closes his eyes and tosses things around in his mind. _We get along perfectly, we have mind-blowing sex, and I have no instinct at __**all **__to hide when I'm with him. What can be more perfect than that?_ "I think I'm falling in love with you too."

"Then, please understand that right now I'm scared that if we… become a couple, that we'll somehow mess things up. I'd…" Dylan trails off. He begins to let his tears loose, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "I'd _die_, if we couldn't at least have what we had before yesterday morning. I've had to live without you for so long, I _can't _do it again."

Dave scoops Dylan up in his arms, letting himself cry along with the muscled teen. "Not going to happen. I'm _never _going to leave again. I love you," he says as he pulls away to look into Dylan's eyes. "And if this is what you want… I can live with that. I _am _going to be with you, and if I have to wait, then I'll wait." They share another kiss before getting back into the SUV and going home, tears and all.

(_)

They spend more time talking about more recent events. Dylan finds out that Dave has a serious crush on Kurt, but that Dave really likes muscles and hair – a perfect match with Dylan. Dave learns that in order to get his record buried… well, _made to not exist anymore_, it took a few contacts, a violation of the 1986 Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, and enough money to make an Ivy League college an impossibility. It's argued that show choir can be made cool and that it can never be cool as the folder Dylan brought from Lima is tossed into a wood chipper (after, of course, Kurt and Puck's addresses are copied to their phones and Dylan's tablet).

The two cuddle while watching _Repo! The Genetic Opera_, and catch up on _CSI_. Before completely falling asleep they plug in their phones and make sure one of them has an alarm set. Sometime around four in the morning Dylan's phone begins to ring, playing TLC's _No Scrubs_. He manages to get around Dave to answer it.

"What Goolsby?"

"_Mendhal's in the hospital with mono. That boyfriend of yours needs to take his place_."

"Fuck that he's only been to one rehearsal, and he's not my boyfriend," Dylan says as Dave begins to wake up, his dream morphing from being a Roman Senator about to have an Empirical orgy to dancing in a bottom-barrel music video.

"_Fuck-buddy, whatever. He's good. He performs or I let INS have the real expense sheets_."

"You're an asshole. I hope you get backdoored by a chick with a dick-sized clit," Dylan says as he ends the call. He looks to Dave to see his reaction. His eyes are hazy from sleep but are begging for _some _form of caffeine.

After two percolators of coffee with the clock reading 06:22, Dave agrees to join VA, but under one condition. Dylan helps him with an audition piece for the New Directions and he findsa way to still record their performance. On their way out the door Dave stops Dylan and pulls him into a gentle kiss.

"What was that for?" Dylan asks, face flushed.

"For loving me," Dave replies, placing a small kiss to Dylan's neck just under his Adam's apple. "For… believing that I could be saved."

Dylan smiles, placing a kiss on the top of David's head. "Thank you for letting me back into your life. C'mon, we don't want that spooge-tosser to be any more pissed than he already is."

(_)

_Okay, this is pretty awesome _Dave thinks as they take the stage to find out who won sectionals. _This is a different rush. I'm tired and exhausted, but I'm also amped the fuck UP! Is this what Kurt and Berry feel when they do this?_ He's standing between Sunshine and Dylan. He doesn't care if anyone thinks, or knows, that she's his hag by proxy. Or that Dylan's his boyfriend. _They'd just be jealous fucks if they said anything._

"Your 2010 Eastern Ohio Show Choir Sectionals Runners-Up are – Garfield's Sonic Purity!" As the audience applauds politely their director takes the trophy and mutters some kind of thanks before they exit the stage. Dave stage whispers to Sunshine that their rendition of _Poison _wasn't anywhere near as good as the one Mr. Schue's a cappella group did last year. Dylan whispers that Mary's Song _can't _win because they were just two psalms with synthesizers added.

"And now, your 2010, Eastern Ohio, Sectionals Winners are… _Vocal Adrenaline_! Seventh time in a row, great job guys!" The presenter says as he hands Dave the trophy. Goolsby just nods at the guy and begins to walk off, cursing at the celebration occurring on the stage. The girls from the losing team are crying an praying for forgiveness. This gets the three 'leaders' of the Carmel choir to begin mushing everyone back to the green room.

Goolsby is, of course, waiting for them. One of his assistants takes the trophy from Dave before Gooslby begins to speak. "That was good guys but you can do better. You guys looked a little tired."

"Of course we're tired. You had us rehearse more than Coach Beiste has us train," Dave says as he changes into the street clothes Dylan brought with them, even the black leather boots with the belt clasps.

"Just making sure you lugs don't forget it with all your stupid tweeting and FaceBook crap," Goolsby sneers as he walks out. "If you're not on the bus in ten minutes you can pay for a cab yourselves."

Once out of the room Dylan and another guy, _Stan? _Both mutter 'fucking asshole' at the same time. Sunshine mutters something about Rachel in Filipino, which makes Dylan snicker, but with a frown. He gives her a quick hug and restyles her hair before wrapping an arm around both her and Dave. She gives Dave her cell number while on the bus ride back to Carmel from Jefferson, then part ways. Goolsby tries to recruit Dave, but the glare given by both large teens shuts him up.

(_)

Once back at Dylan's Dave asks him to take a few minutes in the basement. He only says that it's a surprise. Even before the door to the subterranean room's closed Dave begins _flying _through the small, apparently _soundproof_ house. He gets the candles in place and lit, the romantic takeout meals he secretly ordered before they performed are retrieved from the back porch, and decided to just ask Dylan for the music he wants. _Digital music center? Sadly the ONLY thing Apple can't do. Neither can Microsoft though…_

Once blindfolded Dylan's lead up his own stairs to the living room. "Is that lasagna?" Dave removes the blindfold to reveal a candle-lit, romantic dinner night. "Dave, I thought we already talked about this?"

Dave finally figures out how to use the damn music station and plays a slow instrumental song. He pulls Dylan into a leading dance position and waits for him to flow into it. "I just want one night. One night where everything's perfect, unrushed, _romantic._ I know you won't allow yourself to be ready, but I want this. Even just if it's one night."

Dylan lets the song finish and another to begin before replying, just feeling this young man in his arms, his hands on his hips and back. "I, I think I can do that for you." He looks down into those golden hazel eyes and sees something he had _never _expected to see, something he's never seen even from Alex. "After tonight, if we do this, can you manage with how we used to be?"

"For you, I can. I understand what you want now, and it's okay. And if it doesn't work out, that's fine." He leans in for a kiss, and holds that feeling for at least two more songs, the two just absently dancing. "Dinner?" Dave asks against Dylan's lips.

"I'm starving," Dylan replies, sneaking a lick of Dave's upper lip as they break their embrace, holding each other as they enter the kitchen.

Dinner is spent with just the music playing, a goblet of Absinthe at each place setting. The two dance once more, letting their meal digest. After an hour Dave begins to kiss Dylan again, sensually, romantically. Once sufficiently flushed, he leans in to the taller teens neck and whispers "I want you to have me."

"Yeah?" comes the reply, breathy, laced with desire.

"I can only give this to one person, and I want it to be you," Dave croons, spinning them so he's in front of Dylan, his back to the redhead's chest. "I want to feel you, in me. _All _of you. I _need _you to be the first."

"Dave, I'd be honored," Dylan replies, starting to move his hands up Dave's shirt. Dave grabs his hands and spins around to face him.

"No, not tonight. You've let me explore, and I've _taken _what you offered," he says as he strokes Dylan's jaw. "Let me take care of your desires tonight. Let me pleasure you the way you've pleasured me." Upon Dylan's nod, Dave begins to play the song he's waited for years to sing to someone. As the music starts Dylan blushes. He kisses Dave's hands as he sits down, waiting for the performance. And not to disappoint, Dave is moving just as sensually as Dylan knew he could. _I wonder if he'll be brave enough to change the lyrics? _Dylan wonders.

[Dave]

Take a good look at it

Look at it now

Might be the last time you'll

Have a go round

I'll let you touch it if you'd

Like to go down

I'll let you go further

If you take the southern route

Don't go too fast

Don't go too slow

You've got to let your body flow

I like 'em attentive,

And I like 'em in control

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

I'll give you the red light special

All through the night

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

Just come through my door

Take off my clothes

And turn on the red light

I know that you want me I can

See it in your eyes

You might as well be honest 'cause the body never lies

Tell me your secrets and I'll

I'll tell you mine

I'm fellin' quite sexy

And I want you for tonight

If I move too fast just let me know

'Cause it means you move too slow

I like some excitement

And I like a man that goes

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

I'll give you the red light special

All through the night

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

Just come through my door

Take off my clothes

And turn on the red light

If you want me

Let me know it

I'll make time but

You've got to show it

If you need me

I want to see

But don't mistake me

I don't want you down on your knees

I need someone a real man

I need someone who understands

I'm a man a real man

I know just what I want

I know just who I am

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

I'll give you the red light special

All through the night

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

Just come through my door

Take off my clothes

And turn on the red light

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

I'll give you the red light special

All through the night

Baby it's yours

All yours

If you want it tonight

Just come through my door

Take off my clothes

And turn on the red light

As the song ends, Dave picks up Dylan and carries him to the bedroom, kissing him the entire way down. As the muscled teen is placed on the bed Dave carefully straddles him, making sure their members are lined up. He starts with a soft kiss on the lips, gentle, indolent. He slowly moves along Dylan's strong, chiseled jaw, down his neck, licking the bruise on his neck from yesterday morning. When he gets to the top of those pillows of pecs on the built teen's chest Dave speeds up a bit. He takes his time licking their outline, the cleft, each dark, smooth nipple and areola. The strong abs, made even more defined from dancing, are time consuming for Dave as he explores each hair, each cell of skin and muscle there.

He skips the choice parts to move to Dylan's thighs, massaging them and covering each square inch with kisses and licks. He lightly nibbles at the strong, muscled ankles, rubbing them until Dylan purrs, then indulges in his secret foot fetish. Each toe, each pad, even the arches are licked and kissed before heading back to the target area. He looks up at Dylan, seeing the content and desire rolling in his eyes.

"You are awesome David," he purrs, placing his hand on Dave's head. His head arches back as Dave nuzzles the large, leaking cock. He goes lower, taking in a testicle and lightly sucking it. The twitching above splatters a little precum on his head, but he doesn't stop, moving to the other ball. The twitches become more rapid, stronger. Dave takes a hand and begins to slowly stroke Dylan, gathering as much sweet fluid as he can keep on his hands before stopping and reverse-straddling the sexy God below him.

"Get a closer look honey, look at me prep myself for you," Dave croons as he slips one sticky yet slick finger into himself. Dylan adjusts his legs to support Dave while he begins to massage the solid, furry chest. Dave slips in a second finger, gasping as Dylan begins to kiss Dave's lats, his spine, between his shoulder blades. Dave can't see that Dylan's slicked his fingers as well and cries out as Dylan slips in a finger.

"Doing so good sexy," Dylan purrs with pure desire. "Almost time for my present," he continues as he arches Dave backward to whisper in his ear, "to show me what a real man feels like." Dave's gasp is both from the sudden change in pressure and sensation as both he and Dylan slide in another finger, stretching the ring to sensationally blinding. They take a minute to just feel each other like this, to warm each other's bodies.

Dave lifts up and turns around. When he sees that Dylan's already lying back on the mattress he gets in position, staring lovingly into his lover's eyes. _It's going to be plenty wet_ he thinks as he takes the first step. He holds Dylan as he slides down, just a little. He pleads with his eyes as the head begins to sting his previously exit-only hole, and Dylan complies, stroking Dave's member. The dark-haired teen's shudder slides him a little further down, causing a wave of both searing heat and sensual pleasure to ripple through his body. With the dual sources of pleasure, he slowly slides down on Dylan's hardness, never breaking eye contact. With all 35 centimeters in he falls forward onto Dylan, sweating, panting, crying silently.

"You did good sexy, real good," Dylan croons, comforting the impaled jock. "Just rest for now. Give yourself time to adjust." He begins to arch himself to be able to kiss his lover, to try and overpower the pain of the first time, with someone as big as he was. "We have time," another kiss, this one on Dave's right eye, "we don't need to rush anything," and another kiss, to Dave's left eye. Dave's lips reach Dylan's, causing both boy's cocks to twitch. A whimper escapes Dave's mouth and he begins to lightly roll his hips. He cries as the pain caused by the willing intrusion clashes with the emotion and pleasure coursing through his body.

He sits upright again, lifting himself up and down as he presses on Dylan's pelvis to steady himself. "So fucking much," becomes his mantra as he continues bouncing, each repetition becoming longer in distance. At just after half-way Dave instantly spasms, his hole clamping down. The force of Dave on Dylan's hips is the only thing keeping Dylan from thrusting up as his cock's strangled by hitting Dave's prostate. Dave rides just above that spot, and back past it, letting himself drown in the intense sensations.

Dave's lost in his own world of euphoria long enough to be surprised when he's looking into Dylan's eyes, kissing him, feeling his back being scratched. He begins to kiss back, moaning into the hot mouth, bucking his hips with each scrape against his back. "You feel so good in me Dylan," Dave cries softly into Dylan's mouth, speeding his pace on the slick rod.

"You feel so good stud," Dylan says as he moves to Dave's neck, sucking hard. "You're perfect stud, so fucking _**perfect**_," he moans as he moves down, rocking his hips to the established rhythm.

"_Dylan, I'm_… **gonna **_**cum**_," Dave moans, feeling the twitching begin. Before he can move again there's a mouth on him, bring him even closer. He forces enough sense to whisper "No, I want you to see me," shakenly as he holds himself back. As soon as his lips are on Dylan's he lets go, crying his orgasm into Dylan's mouth, their eyes locked. Dylan's breaths become ragged as he grips Dave's sides and pumps faster, harder, deeper into Dave, busting as he growls his name into the kiss, crying.

Dylan pulls Dave flush on top of him, still moaning and panting. "Thank you Dave. That was… wánměi," he adds, stroking the dark short hair.

"You're telling me," Dave says, still shuddering from the dual orgasms. "You're kyodai, but it feels good," tracing circles around Dylan's nipples.

Dylan smiles, enjoying the sensation of someone wanting _him _to be in _them_. "For this, you're my first."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Alex said hell to the no, and Sebastian… well, he's an asshole."

"Even size queens, huh?" Dave asks, trying to pull out all of the hurt in the man's heart through their point of joining.

"I'm not afraid to admit to everyone that I love you, not now."

"Then I'd better find a disposable boyfriend soon then, huh?" Dave smiles, kissing the cleft between Dylan's pecs.

"That'd be nice," Dylan says lazily, resting his hand on Dave's awesome shoulders.

"Should we shower?"

"Let's just stay like this for a few minutes. It feels right."

* * *

><p>manang <em>sister <em>in Filipino

kuya _brother _in Filipino

wánměi _perfect _in Chinese

kyodai _huge _in Japanese

Don't say I didn't warn you about slash! Lots of it. :-D

So, there you have it. While life in Lima was going on with celebrations and sensuality, Dave was getting his virginity shredded, as well as Goolsby's ego. And for those of you who don't know the metric system (which is used in all but, what, 3 countries?), 35cm ~ 13.75"


	6. Christmahanakwanzika

So, whether or not you read the last chapter, here we are at Christmas/Hanukkah. This one is about as intense as BA&C, but focuses on how everyone _else _is handling the Purt relationship. Plus plenty of angst and drama to fulfill even the most demanding/greedy fanboy/girl.

I also decided to do a few… _drastic _things. Hope you like them.

There won't be any songs in this chapter.

There is Purt slash near the end though.

* * *

><p><span>Christmahanakwanzika<span>

"So, may I ask _why _you agreed to go on a date with me?" Dave asks as Blaine takes a sip of his mocca.

"Well, you've patched things up with Kurt, you're on the path to coming out, and…" he trails off, taking another sip. "You're kinda cute."

Dave blushes as he smiles in embarrassment. "Sorry, it's just… no one's ever told me that. Well, Dylan did, but… y'know."

Blaine notices the way Dave both said Dylan's name and how he looked when he said it and knew that there was more to their date than just wanting to get to know him. "Dave, if you want this to be a real date, then I want to know a few things."

Noticing the tone and Blaine's body language, Dave takes a deep breath. "It isn't that I don't find you attractive Blaine, but I'm normally into more… _stocky _guys." Seeing that he still has the other teen's attention, he continues. "Being with him wouldn't work, and he insists that I have a boyfriend before considering a relationship."

"So I'm that guy then," Blaine says as he slumps back, obviously hurt.

"It's not like _that_," Dave defends. "I might actually end up liking you more than Dylan." Dave shakes his head and slouches back himself. "I'm not going to just cast you off the first chance I get. And… even though I know it's not fair to ask that we, you know, stay in the closet a little…"

"I understand that Dave, it's just hard to imagine that you'd choose _me_. I don't know how to _not _feel offended."

"I just know that if nothing else we can be friends," Dave replies, resigning that he may have just screwed up royally. "I like you. _You're_ as kind as _I_ used to be an asshole."

Blaine instantly blushes but not for the reason Dave thinks he does. "Okay, first thing: We're going to clean up your language. You can't just go around dropping bombs like that without people thinking you have no class."

"See, you're already working on making me a better person."

"Yep. You ready?"

"Naturally."

(_)

"Kurt it's not that I hate Puck, as it is that I don't trust him," Mercedes says as she pulls another cord of tangled lights.

"Hey, goddess, right here?" Puck exclaims as he helps Finn with another cord of tangled Christmas lights.

"Dude even Brittany wouldn't talk about someone when they're in the room," Finn adds as he pushes in a loose bulb.

"Seriously Puck, what's your game?" Mercedes spits out as she checks a box of glass ornaments.

"'Cedes, drop it. Now!" Kurt seethes in full Diva voice. "I love Noah and I know what I'm doing. As does Noah," he adds with a smirk.

While Finn tries not to gag at his brother's innuendo Dave comes in with a tree, smile plastered on his face. "I hope someone got the stand."

"Good date?" Puck asks as he guides the tree to its stand.

"Date?" Mercedes asks as she crawls over to tighten the anchoring screws.

"He asked Blaine out before they announced the winners last week," Finn says as he pours the water solution into the base.

"That I get," Mercedes says as she stands and begins to undo the twining. "You two though?"

"Still at it?" Dave says as he joins the light untangling.

"Yes," from Mercedes and "No," from Kurt, at the same time and both full-on bitch.

"'Cedes, don't make me choose, because you'll lose," Kurt half-shouts. "And that was your third last warning honey!" _She can't keep a secret anyway, and didn't step up like Noah did. Wait, I'm forgetting something..._

Finn notices his mom and step-dad walk in but he remains silent after a rib-check by Dave. Burt gets the hint and pulls Carole into the kitchen, silently setting their luggage down. _What's that Karofsky kid doing here_? Burt thinks as he nuzzles his new wife.

"Okay Mariah, listen up," Puck says. "I love Kurt, a lot. I'm not going to break his heart!"

Kurt's face instantly blanches, his fists tightening. Burt's hand over Carole's mouth is the only thing that keeps their presence secret. Burt has to bite his other hand to keep from shouting as he hears a glass crunch from the living room.

"Babe, didn't you make that in seventh grade for-" Puck begins but is cut off with a raising of his boyfriend's hand, now covered in glass dust and copper sequins.

"Mercedes Tiffany Jones, you are DEAD to me!" Kurt shouts, scaring everyone.

Trying to hurry this process and seeing the pain on Kurt's face, Dave points to the door. "Door's that way sweetheart." She looks at him with empty eyes.

"You were told to leave Mercedes," Burt says as he enters the living room. He glares at Dave, who just hangs his head, and notices the new expressions on both Kurt's and Puck's faces.

"Kurt, boo, I just…" Mercedes says through her yet-unshed tears. She's rewarded by Kurt standing up and mindlessly walking toward the door to his room.

Puck gets up to follow but is turned around by Dave. They share a few mouthed words, unreadable, then Puck just plops on the recliner, head in his hands. As Dave passes Burt he whispers "We can talk later. Kurt needs a friend now." Burt simply nods as he allows passage.

When Dave gets downstairs he finds Kurt on his bed, face buried in a lush pillow. Dave knows something's wrong because he didn't even bother to take off his slippers. "I guess this means your feelings are real, huh?" Dave asks as he takes a seat at the edge of the bed at Kurt's feet.

"Yeah, I guess," comes the mumbled answer. Kurt rolls to his back, reaching for Dave's hand. "What did I just do? 'Cedes and I have been BFFs since, like, the beginning of last year!"

Dave takes Kurt's hand and gives a reassuring squeeze. He shakes their joined hands a little. "After, of course, she punched a hole in your baby. I always thought that _this, _was exactly what I wanted. And, no offense, but this just doesn't feel right."

Kurt offers a slight smile. Or it could be a grimace. Either way… "You could have just asked," Kurt tries to joke, but his voice just comes out flat. "But you're right. This doesn't feel right."

"So, your plan," Dave says as he releases Kurt's hand and shifts to face him better. "Not going to go through with it?"

"No," he replies as he sits up and leans against Dave's back. "But I still don't feel like Noah can resist the pressure from your fellow Neanderthals. No offense."

"None taken, _Rebecca Glasscock_," Dave teases. _Hmm, I wonder if this would work. _"Your dad was kinda awesome, not hitting me with a bat or something when he saw me."

"Yeah. I don't think there's a thing he wouldn't do for me," Kurt replies, not wanting to respond to the insult.

"C'mon, let's get you back up there before Finn decides to decorate the tree like the bastard child of Zordon and Alpha."

"Dear Gaga Dave, you are such a _nerd_!" Kurt replies as he slides off the bed and heads upstairs, Dave following close behind.

Once at the top of the stairs Puck rushes Kurt, wrapping his arms around him. "Baby I'm so sorry."

"It's okay sweets," Kurt replies, hugging back.

"How about you two help Carole and Finn with the tree while I talk with bucko here?" Burt says as he places a hand on each of their shoulders while glaring at Dave.

As the couple leaves Dave bravely and lightly tugs Burt's elbow toward the garage. Once inside Dave locks the deadbolt. "I came by Sunday after I was sent to juvie and apologized to Kurt, Finn, and Rachel. An old friend sprung me and helped me accept that I'm gay."

Burt takes this in and mulls it a bit, then decides not to punch the guy. "I'm guessing I don't want details on that, do I?"

"That's up to you sir."

"Nope, not ready for that, but at least you're not my kid," Burt replies as he rubs his neck. "How honest are you going to be with me kid?"

"Full truthiness sir," Dave answers as he takes a seat on top on the dryer. "What do you want to know?"

"This Puck deal. Is it a game?"

"I'm only doing this because I know there won't be enough of me left for Kurt or Puck to be mad at if I don't," Dave replies coolly. "It was a game, for both of them. Kurt's smarter and faster than people give him credit for."

Burt nods, lightly chewing his bottom lip. "It's not a game now?" he asks as he folds his arms over his chest.

Dave hangs his head as he rubs his neck. "I was part of making the bet." Dave doesn't even get a chance to continue as he's clocked right in the cheek.

"You're really an asshole, you know that?"

"I know, that's why I bailed and told Kurt about it," Dave replies as he rubs the new sore area. "For him it was just a confirmation."

"So, what do we do about it?" Burt asks as he takes a seat on the washer. "Can't it be called off?"

Dave sighs and pulls out his phone. "Not likely. Puck loses his truck if he fails. But maybe..." he trails off as he makes a call.

"_You're lucky I'm at home stud_," Dylan says.

"I need to know how to end the bet." Before more can be said Burt rips the phone from Dave's hand.

"Listen you little shit, this ends or you do!"

"_Slight problem. I'm not the one involved with it. I have a possible solution though_," Dylan replies as if nothing was wrong.

"Who're you?" Burt asks, with a very confused expression on his face.

"That's Dylan sir," Dave replies as he fails to hide his blush.

"Call me Burt kids. So Dylan, you planning to kick some ass or something?"

"_Hard to do. I'm in Akron_," Dylan says as a keyboard can be heard clacking. "_Buying them off seems to be the best option. $750 each_?"

Burt lets his jaw drop a bit before relaying the info to Dave, who nods. "How?"

"_It's almost four now, but there's a SavMart about a mile from you with a Chase. I'll send the money there in your name. Then meet the douches and lay down the rules. I suggest you take Dave, a friend of his choice, and a friend of yours_."

"I don't want to get a stranger involved in this shit," Burt replies.

"What about Puck's mom?" Dave asks. "The only one who's ever bullshited her was Puck's dad."

"How in the Hell do I get her involved?" Burt growls.

"_Chances are she knows Burt_," Dylan replies. "_Just ask in an indirect way. If she knows, she'll own up to knowing_."

"Thanks kid," Burt says, relieved. "I can see why Dave's a different person now."

"_Not a problem. Cash in a few minutes, the wire went through. Good luck guys_," Dylan says as the call is ended.

"So I assume you have Puck's landline?" Burt asks as Dave takes the phone and starts another call.

When Sarah answers and gets Nora, Burt decides to be about 95% direct. "Nora, this is Burt, Kurt's father? I wanted to ask if you knew about-"

"_Noah and your son_? I do," she replies. _Here goes_... "_Anything in _particular_ Burt_?"

Burt hears the knowing tone and runs with it. "It's about a bet."

"_Kurt didn't find out, did he_?"

"Wait, you know! And he isn't dead?" Burt cries out.

"_He more didn't deny it than admit it. He's really unsettled about how much he loves Kurt, but I still see love_ _whenever he talks about Kurt_."

_Tough lady_. "Wanna help end that stupid bet?"

"_What do I have to do_?"

After explaining the plan Burt and Dave enter the living room, no tension between them.

"Hey, we're going to go out for a bit," Burt says as he wraps an arm around Dave's shoulders and gives a friendly shake. "You guys want something from Dairy Queen?"

Kurt tries to respond but ends up letting out a shaking sob instead. Before Finn or Carole can comprehend what's going on Noah answers.

"Strawberry Reeses Peanut Butter Cup for Kurt and Carole, vanilla M&M for me and Finn."

"Got it," Dave says as slips from Burt's embrace and heads for the door. "C'mon Burt! I bet there's already a line."

(_)

While Dave waits in the gazebo at Crystal Springs Park he goes over the plan again. It's simple really:

1) Tell them the bet's off

2) Offer the money to STFU about it forever

3) Have the others come out to enforce it

4) Never tell Kurt or Puck about this

It _was_ simple, what could go wrong, right? _I'm about to find out, and hopefully not have to explain any bruises. Of course I could just use Burt as a cop-out._

_This isn't what I expected_ Burt thought as he glanced at Nora. _I already don't like these kids…_

_Figures it'd be these douchebags, _Santana thinks as she makes out Azimio, Dan Mueller, Strando, and Bill Greyson stepping out of Azimio's Civic.

_Just remember, you can only sneak in one body at a time, then they'll get suspicious, _Nora thinks as she sees the boys approach the gazebo. _I'm glad we have a plan B._

"Sup dudes?" Dave asks as he hops off the table and moves to a corner opposite from where the other football players are entering.

"What's this about fag stag?" Strando spits as he takes a seat on one of the benches.

"Yeah, first you back out and now this?" Greyson adds as he leans against one of the pylons.

"What, you have a change of heart?" Azimio sneers as he just waits by the entrance.

"The bet's off," Dave replies as he pulls out an envelope. "You're the _winners_, there's a cash-out, and you never talk about it. **Ever**."

"Whatever," Mueller says as he punches Strando's shoulder. "Who cares what happens to that fag anyway? He's turned-"

"I care," Burt says as he approaches the gazebo from the entrance to Dave's left. "And if you ever talk about my son like that again I'll rig your car to explode."

"And _my _son didn't _turn_ anything," Nora says as she comes in across from Dave. "What you did was really fucked up, y'know?"

"And let's not forget about how perverted you guys are," Santana says as she enters, blocking off the last entryway. "Unless you want Jacob to get the videos you guys made."

"Whatever cunt," Greyson sneers as he sizes up this quartet.

"Seriosuly?" Dave says as he smirks. "Because for straight guys, you sure as hell like snowballing."

While the jocks are in shock Santana sneers and rolls her eyes. "Really? What did you _think_ happened to the memory cards in your phones? That they grew legs and walked off?"

They're silent now, each jock pale and wide-eyed. The cheerleader looks each one over as she smirks knowingly. "That was a good guess Davey-bear, but can you guess what your boy and Mueller like?"

"Being fingered while getting blown?" Burt asks with a raised eyebrow.

Santana taps her nose before continuing. "So, here's the deal. You agree to the terms, or we ruin you. Entendido?"

"Fucking slut!" Greyson shouts, lunging at Santana. The hand she had behind her comes forward and a crackling pop fills the air.

"The next time you call me that I'm hitting your balls!" she yells, not letting up on the trigger.

Azimio tries to rush her but falls to the floor in agony as he grabs his face. Everyone looks to Nora holding a water pistol. The gazebo begins to fill with the smell of pepper spray.

"Amazing what you can make with Mad Dog 357," Nora says. "And that's diluted."

_Holy __**fuck**__ she's hardcore_! Santana thinks as she rips out the taser barbs. "So do we have a deal, or does Mr. Hummel have to shove a compressor hose up your dicks?"

"No, were good!" Strando says as he jumps up, trying to back out.

Burt takes out his envelope as do the others. Once the rag-tag 'mobsters' are out of the gazebo he calls back to them. "Remember. I only need five minutes to rig your cars." He adds a finger gun and a chik-chik before wrapping an arm around Nora's shoulders, like an old drinking buddy. "So, David, do you remember everyone's order for Dairy Queen?"

(_)

"That was nice, getting DQ for us," Noah says as he towels off.

"Yeah," Kurt says as he follows suit, his voice raspy from the amount of crying he's done.

Noah begins to carefully towel Kurt's hair, drawn in close. He doesn't care that his chest is wet again, or that he's feeling particularly vulnerable and open.

"Baby, why did you choose me over Mercedes?" Noah asks.

"… I," Kurt begins as he leans into Noah, feeling the strength of his body holding him up. "I really do love you Noah," he says as he turns around, grabbing the towel and tossing it into the hamper. "I need to be honest. I was kind of stringing you along, you know, to see if you really wanted to be with me?" Kurt confesses, hanging his head.

"Because a guy like me shouldn't want to be with a guy like you?" Noah answers as he places his hands on Kurt's now-familiar, now _craved _hips.

The pale teen nods as he continues. "I was afraid that this was a game of some kind, so I had to be sure. And then you… _took _me… _swallowed _me," he continues, wrapping his tanned boyfriend in his arms and holding tight. "I know you've never done that. That you'd only do that if you really wanted me."

Noah begins to tear up, feeling his heart begin to break. _I __**need **__him, like I need to breathe or have someone to hold…_ "M'a toujours été attiré par vous Kurt. J'étais ... peur de que j'ai ressenti. Dieu que j'étais une telle lâcheté idiot!" he finishes by holding the back of Kurt's head with his hand, like he can push Kurt into his heart.

"Je n'ai pensé que tu sois pas un tendre, Noé," Kurt replies, taking in the scent of a freshly bathed Noah.

"Vous rigolez? Je serais le père écoeurante sucré si je pouvais gardé et arboré Beth!" Noah says with a longing tone, like the chance of a lifetime has passed.

"Je sais. Je peux le sentir trop Noé," Kurt replies as he gives a squeeze. "Maybe someday we can have our own kids, and be, like, part-time parents to Beth…"

Noah scoops Kurt into his arms and lands a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. Once braced and balanced he walks them to the bed, sitting to let Kurt's legs spread out behind him while staying on Noah's lap. They spend several minutes in this embrace before a knock on the door breaks the embrace of their lips.

"Carole's making breakfast in the morning," Burt calls through a barely-cracked door. "And if you could keep the noise down I promise I won't have the _talk _in the morning."

Both teens smile and blush at each other as Kurt leans forward, pushing Noah to lie on his legs, his head against Kurt's feet like pillows. "My dad can be a real cock-blocker now that he _can _block something," Kurt smiles as he runs his eyes between Noah's amber orbs and his deeply-tanned manhood.

"It's alright babe, you don't need to- God!" Noah gasps as he barely shoves a pillow in his mouth in time to keep from shaking the windows. He stifles his moans enough to look down to see Kurt fully taking him in. _Damn this guy's flexible!_ "Kurt, Gawd…"

_I can see why Noah's been doing this everyday now_ Kurt thinks to himself as he works this unblemished, perfectly-veined piece of Noah. _It's musky… earthy… just… pure MALE_! He lets out some moans and feels Noah gasp as each one ripples through his pelvis to the hands gripping his hair. Each new area explored with his tongue eliciting an ecstatic thrashing of Noah's head between his feet. He can even taste the results of his work, surprisingly almondy and just a little on the salty side. _A perfect blend, like Noah._

_He's gonna make me… oohhh!_ Noah thinks as he feels himself losing it, unable to engage in even the slightest self-control. He can feel Kurt pressing _right _against other hole, the one he'd never thought of using like this. _It's so wet on its own, and with Kurt's…_ He decides to slide down just a little bit and is met with a slight thrust of Kurt's hips. It's enough to press him to the hole without entering it… _yet._

_Does he want me to…_ Kurt thinks as he can feel the new territory pressing against him, waiting for him. _Not the _best _position to do this in_ Kurt thinks as he lazily thrusts. The lowering resistance to his member and the increasing volume of Noah's essence begins to make him unravel. His head moves without rhythm, his thrusts more erratic and desperate. When Noah's hair grappling becomes erotically painful Kurt senses almost no time left to stop his release. As he gives a final push to Noah's backdoor his member is pushed up, just past the head, and they release as one. Each throb of release from Noah draws Kurt in just a millimeter more, causing even more precious juice to flow into Kurt's still-moaning mouth.

Once off the crest of their tantric orgasm, Noah breathlessly says "Just the head dear." He pulls them up so he can kiss the lips that made him open up a completely _different_ part of himself. Once close enough to smell himself on Kurt's lips, Kurt slips out.

"I've never… came that… I'm not even…" Kurt gets out between kisses, trying to think while being overcome with two sets of sensations.

"I know… Feels soo… I _feel _you…" Noah tries the same and fails. He absently scratches a spot on Kurt's back and murmurs 'you're welcome' into the kiss he's giving.

Without thinking Kurt pulls himself to the floor and takes Noah's hand. They enter the bathroom again and clean up as a thunder storm passes over the neighborhood. They go back to bed and climb under the covers. Kurt holds Noah, feeling the love radiating between them. "That was awesome. _You're _awesome."

"You're better," Noah says as he pulls Kurt's hand up to kiss.

"Why were you afraid of how you felt?"

"Danny, my dad," Noah begins. "When we, Finn and I, were seven, he stayed the night. Danny'd been gone for a few days so we thought it would be safe to have Finn over."

"But it didn't end up being safe?" Kurt prompts.

"He came in at like, 1:30 or something. The first thing he did was start screaming at Ma for not having food ready. That scared the shit out of Finn, so I held him, told him it'd be okay." Noah grips Kurt's arms tighter before continuing.

"It started as yelling, but then there were sounds on the wall. Finn started crying along with Sarah. I don't know where she ended up, but Ma told him to stay the fuck away from her." Kurt can feel the tears rushing out of Noah's eyes, because they're also falling out of his. "He kicked in the door to my room and saw me and Finn under the sheets. He threw me off… I almost fell out of the window. He smacked Finn and just railed on about 'fag' this and 'pussy' that. He ripped off his belt and was going to whip Finn with the buckle… but I got in the way. That's how I got this," he stops and guides Kurt's fingers to the small scar just inside the Mohawk.

"It didn't stop there? Even after that?" Kurt asks, squeezing Noah tighter.

"No. He grabbed me by the head and threw me to the floor," Noah sobs. A reassuring kiss settles him enough to continue. "He kicked me twice before Ma was able to push him away, but he just shoved her into a wall. He called me a worthless fag, a failed son, useless. Then…" Noah trails off and sobs, shaking furiously.

A sudden and gruesome realization comes to Kurt as he holds Noah. _He couldn't… __**how **__could someone do that to their __**own child**_? "Noah, did he-"

"No!" He cries, his grip on Kurt's arms now painful. "Somehow, Finn got out of the room… got into Ma's purse… that's when we… he tased Danny. I don't remember what happened after because I passed out. When I… that was my first cracked rib…"

"Finn's never mentioned it," Kurt says as he begins to stroke Noah's hair. "He prolly doesn't even remember."

"He doesn't, and I don't want him to."

"I won't tell Noah," Kurt whispers as he holds this miracle, _his_ miracle. _Please, please be worthy of my heart Noah. Don't call the bet…_

(_)

School's tense the next day for the four, but not for the same reasons. Finn notices that Azimio and Strando are actively avoiding Dave, and they along with Greyson and Mueller are glaring at Santana when she passes them in the halls. Both he and Dave are noticing that not only is Kurt rushing to each of Puck's classes, the football _and _hockey teams are giving them a wide berth.

When they enter the choir room for the day's lesson they see Mrs. P and Mr. Schue cleaning up a mess. It looks like someone entered the room with a shredder and destroyed everything. Brittany and Santana are having a hurried conversation, giving a lost Artie smiles of apology. No one seems to notice that Purt and Mercedes are on opposite sides of the room. That is until Rachel and Quinn join him in taking trash bags out to the dumpster.

"Ignoring how much more of a bitch this makes Coach Sylvester," Quinn starts as she absently tugs Rachel away from a row of lockers. "What happened between Kurt and Mercedes?"

"Does it have something to do with Noah?" Rachel asks.

"There was kind of a blowout at home yesterday," Finn says as he swaps bags with Rachel. "This one's lighter. She kept pushing Kurt to explain himself and bashing Puck while he was in the room. Kurt kinda lost it and told her she was dead to him."

"That's horrible," Rachel says as she pulls ahead and holds the doors open.

"Well, as much as I think Puck's playing a game," Quinn says as she carefully maneuvers around Rachel. "He really looks like crap today. He looks genuinely guilty."

"I'm pretty sure they talked about it after Burt and Dave buried the axe," Finn says as he opens the lids, finding a freshman in one and Jacob Ben Israel in another. After the three help the dweebs out of the dumpster they drop their loads into it. "That's weird though. They went out together somewhere, for like, two hours."

"Wait, Karofsky and your _dad_?" Rachel squeaks. "That is odd."

"It must have something to do with why the jocks are avoiding them today. And us," Quinn adds.

"We'll have to find out sometime," Finn replies as he absently slings an arm around both of his exes. "But don't push it, okay? We don't need any more drama this close to the new year."

Finn doesn't notice their blushes, or the pained looks in both of the girl's eyes. He does notice the look Sam gives him as they walk in though.

(_)

"You're a good kisser Dave," Blaine says breathlessly as he rolls Dave on top of him on the bed.

"You're pretty good too," Dave says as he widens his kneeling stance to have Blaine under him.

"Isn't this a little _fast_!" Blaine tries to ask but is shocked by a slight bite on his collarbone.

"It's just making out," Dave replies as he nibbles on Blaine's earlobe.

"This makes me want to do _more _than make-out Davey," he hisses out as Dave finds an erogenous zone behind his ear.

Both boys freeze as the door opens and a woman gasps. Dave hangs his head and looks at Blaine, pleadingly. Blaine can see that the woman must be Dave's mother. They have the exact same color hair, wavy, and the same tone of facial expressions. The man behind her just has his brows raised, but his face is blanched just like Dave's was over a month ago when they first met.

"David, what in the hell are you _doing_?" the woman yells.

"Margaret, calm down," the man says as he places his hands on her shoulders. "This must be terrifying for David."

"I will **not **calm down Paul!" She says as she shakes his hands off and marches to the bed. "_You_!" she shreaks and points at Blaine. "**Out**!"

"Mom, no," Dave says with almost no confidence. "I picked him up at the Lima Bean. He goes to Dalton."

"You are **grounded** mister!" she shouts at her son as she tries to rip Blaine off the bed.

"Keep your bigoted hands off my boyfriend, _**Mom**_!" Dave growls.

"Margaret, we'll talk about this _after _David's taken his boyfriend home," Paul says coolly.

"Fine," she says mockingly. "The husband should be in charge. Which is why _that_ won't work," she says as he waves her hands at the teen couple. "I need to look for help for you anyway."

"Mom, again, no," Dave says as he pulls on his letterman and grabs his tablet. "I need you to watch something while I'm gone. It's from an old friend." He leaves the tablet in his mother's hands as he takes Blaine's and exits the room. As they're closing the front door they can hear a scream from upstairs, both boys cringing at what she's likely watching…

(_)

_Who would've thought I'd ever be __**here**_? Dave thinks as he walks up to the door. _I'm so glad that Santana's on my- what the hell_?

"Terri, what don't you understand about alimony? We're _divorced_! That means that _you _have to provide for yourself… That isn't my issue! The Pottery Barn cards were in _my _name and _I _was paying the bill for them!"

_This isn't a good time… but I don't have anywhere else to go right now. _Dave knocks on the door and plasters a smile on his face. When the door opens he's still on the phone, his expression one of exhausted surrender. He turns around so he's not yelling in Dave's face.

"Dammit Terri! The attorney got you a _quarter _of my income. That's more… Terri, shut UP! That's more than enough for a decent apartment… I _am __**not **_obligated to keep your place filled with useless crap!"

Having enough yelling and screaming for the day, Dave takes the phone, slides the keypad out and slams a few random keys before speaking. "Hey, Ms. Schuester? Yeah, I need to talk to Mr. Schue now, so how about you have your psychotic episode with someone else? Patches is still at the library and I'm sure Mr. Reyerson's itching for a gossip buddy. K, thanks, bye," he finishes as he ends the call and sets the thing to vibrate.

"Thank you, David," Will says as he slumps into his couch. "What brings…" he trails off as he sees the expression on the gleek's face. "What happened?"

"My mom and dad… they ahh… came home early," he stammers as he plops into the recliner. "They caught me making out with Blaine…"

"So, I'm guessing you hadn't told them you're gay yet?" Will asks, studying the jock's face carefully.

"No… and my mom just _lost _it! She tried to throw Blaine out the window! Or maybe just down the stairs, I don't know!" He throws his hands up, wiping a few tears from his eyes. "I don't even _remember _driving Blaine back to his car, but I obviously did since he said he got back to the dorms."

"I shouldn't be doing this," the teacher replies as he stands up. "But I'm going to get us a beer. Something tells me there's more to this likely long story."

Now with beer in hand, Dave explains the entire story of his life. How he was raised in Chicago, that Dylan was then like he is now, how just recently it was revealed he disappeared to a Reparative Therapy camp. That his own _mother's _now considering.

"I can't believe that anyone would willingly do that," Will says, after restarting his heart and pulling his jaw back up. "I mean I used to have friends that were gay back at OSU. It wasn't a big deal. I mean, yeah they tried to flirt and everything during parties, but that was the booze. Mostly."

"I can't really go home now, but I also know that I can't stay here," Dave says as he starts on his second beer. "Fuck! Why Christmas Eve of all gorram days?"

"You can stay here tonight, if you don't mind the couch," Will says. "But more than that and I'm sure Sue'll find some way to get me fired for it. Have you thought about Kurt or Puck? Maybe see if it's okay for you to crash there?"

"They have enough of their own drama," Dave sighs at the thought that he's responsible for some of it.

"Let me talk to Burt and Nora. I'm sure they'll understand."

Dave stands up and engulfs Will in a bear hug, tears streaming down his face. He whispers a muffled 'thank you' into his neck as Will returns the embrace.

_ This is why I became a teacher, was enthralled with the idea of being a father,_ Will says to himself. _Because it was what I was born to do._

(_)

"Dave, please come in," Burt says as he slings an arm around his new buddy. "It looks like you got a chance to go home."

"Yeah, but mom woke up and started to thrash the place again," Dave says as he sets his duffle and shopping bags next to the couch. "She almost completely stripped my room!"

"Dude, that sucks," Finn says as he inhales another whole sugar cookie.

"What's in the bag?" Kurt asks as he gets pulled down to the couch, in Noah's lap.

"I wanted to share something with you guys," Dave replies as he takes out his X-Box. "Is it okay to set this up?"

"Dude we already have one," Finn protests, looking at his empty plate with sadness.

"Not with NetFlix though," Dave tosses back as he disconnects the Hudmel's and connects his. _I'm glad this is wired._

"What do you want to share with us David?" Carole asks as she begins to hand out hot cocoa.

"A comedy special I came across about six months ago. Any of you ever hear of a guy named Hal Sparks?" Dave asks.

"Dude, he's the lead singer for _Zero1_!" Finn half-shouts as he jumps up in his seat.

"I remember him from _Queer as Folk_," Kurt and Puck say at the same time. They realize this, look into each other's eyes, and blush.

"That nice young man that hosted _Talk Soup_?" Carole adds as she looks to her new husband. His expression's completely blank.

"I'll give him a chance, but I don't really like comedians in general," Burt says as the TV's turned on and the console powered.

After about ten minutes the family and their guest laughed at this line:

"_For the record, Starbucks, does not sell coffee. Starbucks, sells milkshakes. That's not coffee they're selling. Coffee's that shit your dad used to drink by the gallon, so he can stay awake at work and not fall into the machinery. And he'd live long enough to put you through school, and he'd hold it under your nose when you were nine and you're like 'fuck dad you drink that? What is that shit?' That's coffee! Anything that's 80% ice cream with whip cream on it with carmel syrup and the top looks like a tit, is a fucking milkshake. You infant!"_

More so than its preceding bit this one gets Burt and Kurt laughing at the same time:

"_What size do you want sir?"_

"_I don't know, I'll have a small."_

"_We don't have small sir we have medium and large."_

"_No you don't."_

"_Yes we do sir we have medium and large."_

"_No you don't you have small and large."_

"_No we have medium and large."_

"_No you have small and large because you can't have a medium, without a small and fucking large to base it on you INBRED! That's what it means. It's a median point between two extremes! It can't exist without the other two, it's fucking IMPOSSIBLE!"_

Seeing his former friend/bully/friend-again interacting with this family, how comfortable Kurt is in his arms, Noah finally realizes what Rachel was yammering on about all this time. _This is love. This is what I've been looking for. Home._ He gives Kurt a kiss on the head as the guy on the TV says something about the vagina being the stronger of the two genitals. _Please forgive me Kurt, for how this started._

* * *

><p><em>Entendido? <em>Spanish for Got it?

_M'a toujours été attiré par vous Kurt. J'étais ... peur de que j'ai ressenti. Dieu que j'étais une telle lâcheté idiot! _I've always been attracted to you Kurt. I was just... scared of how I felt. God I was such an idiot coward!

_Je n'ai pensé que tu sois pas un tendre,_ I never figured you to be a softie,

_Vous rigolez? Je serais le père écoeurante sucré si je pouvais gardé et arboré Beth_! Are you kidding? I'd be a sickeningly sweet father if I could have kept and raised Beth!

_Je sais. Je peux le sentir trop Noé_. I know. I can feel it too Noah.

Quotes are from _Charmageddon_, a standup special performed by Hal Sparks and released on DVD in April of 2010.


	7. I Don't Heart Sue Sylvester

Sooo, did anyone see **THAT **coming? Ohh, you did? NM.

Anywho, we're going to skip a bit now and move to one of my more favorited parts of the story. I **STRONGLY **suggest you watch the playlist to see exactly what the guys do here. It's hot just as-is, and I'm GAY! Add Kurt and Puck doing it and *faints* And no, there's no fighting like in the video, but that leaves more room for sexy-dancing-time with Purt and their friends.

tinyurl . com / NotAGM

Hot Stuff, Koda Kumi ft KM Market, Rhythm Zone (Japan) - done in English

* * *

><p><span>I don't Heart Sue Sylvester<span>

The weeks between Christmas and the first week of February happen pretty quickly and without much incident. On days when the football team has practice Kurt waits in the bleachers and does homework, all while wearing Noah's letterman. As other players leave the locker room he stands and waits for his boyfriend. Dave also begins to be the _first _one done to stand and wait with him. Kurt leaves with Noah and Dave leaves to catch a late afternoon coffee with Blaine. He just told the others that he was dating someone who went to a different school (which **was** true).

There were two incidents as this established itself: The first involved an _accidental _overthrow of the ball, which _happened _to almost hit the young soprano in the head. He slid it over one free hand while it was still airborne, slipped his phone into a pocket, and tossed it back near the jocks with no wobble and without looking. The second incident happened while he was waiting for Puck outside the locker room a few days after that. He was alone and Strando decided to play macho. He tossed his backpack on his shoulder and let one of the end straps fly and hit Kurt on the face near his eyes. Strando of course didn't pay attention to who was behind him and _fell _forward. It was likely Noah, but Kurt and Dave played along and insulted the tubby jock's ability to walk.

Things seemed to be going well for everyone until the Conference game. The 'Four Corners of Douche' are becoming lazier and lazier, and with just eleven seconds left in the final Finn ignores glances from both Noah and Dave to not give a speech. That's when things go wrong _very _quickly.

"You gonna just give a speech, or should we sing and dance like our fag over here?" Azimio spews as he nods to Noah.

"Dude shut the fuck up or I'll go all Saw on your ass!" Noah says as he gives the finger.

"From what I hear you'd like that, on the ass," Strando adds while making a mock jack-off motion.

"Both of you, shut it. You're pissing the Fury off," Dave adds as he confirms the play.

"Can't talk shit if you're benched," Azimio coolly replies as he breaks the huddle and takes his position.

Right when Dave goes to snap the ball he's tackled, which makes the ball go a little left. Finn manages to tap it with his fingertips, but it only shoves it further to the left. Noah manages to recover the ball and run it about forty yards before being tackled… _after _the final whistle.

Then things went to shit in the locker room. Even after two shouts to STFU from Beiste, the glee and non-glee footballers were still yelling at each other. She finally broke out the Navy whistle, but it only stopped the ruckus because of the pain it brought to everyone's ears.

"What the hell happened out there?" She bellowed. Her voice and body language said, well, 'fuck with me and die horribly.'

"Greyson sucks that's what happened!" Dave shouts while pointing.

"Bastard totally sidestepped so that giant dude could-" Noah tries to say.

"Fuck you glee fairy!" Greyson tries to defend.

"'Bout to fuck _you_ up asshole!" Sam says as he shoves Greyson into the wall.

"Next hit gets you **EXPELLED**!" Beiste yells. After they settle down _enough_ she continues her tirade. "You're the first team to get to the Championship game since most of your _parents _were **freshmen**! If you can't work as a team, you need to make like a mud-covered pig in August and hoof it!"

As the students slowly file out from the board to their lockers Dave and Azimio eye each other, like they're strangers. The darker teen cautiously takes a few steps toward the other.

"What up wit 'chu? Yous different since they locked you up man," he says like he's talking about a dead family member.

"Shit like that changes you man," Dave replies, looking away for a second. "And I don't want to end up a fucking Lima-Loser like the rest of you," Dave says as he walks away from the first friend he made after his move.

When Finn, Dave, and Noah emerge they notice that Kurt's glaring at the retreating forms of the non-glee players. Noah takes Kurt in his arms and gives a longing kiss. Finn gives a half-hearted smile while Dave just sighs and checks his phone for messages. Finn, surprisingly, offers an explanation.

"In case that wasn't loud enough for you, they seriously hate the glee club right now."

"Sam actually shoved Greyson into a wall," Noah says as he wraps an arm around the pale teen and begins to walk toward the exit. "It's totally us versus them right now."

"I'm actually not surprised," Kurt replies as he snuggles into Noah's embrace. "There's a gay on the team and he's better than they are," he pauses to squeeze Noah's ass, "and totally hotter. No offense guys."

"None taken," Finn says distantly. "There's gotta be a way to make glee look at least okay."

"Short of trying to blackmail celebrities into coming and performing with us, I'm not sure how," Dave answers. "You guys good for the weekend?" Once everyone nods Dave pulls ahead.

(_)

"Hey man, you okay after what went down Friday?" Dave asks as he helps Artie put a book in his backpack. He also notices that he's alone.

"I'm okay," Artie replies as he sighs and closes his locker. "It's me, Britts and San that have problems."

"How so?" Dave asks as he begins to push the chair for the bound genius.

"Well, I'm pretty sure there's more to their friendship than just being friends," Artie says quietly. "And if there is, that means there's a part of Brittany that I'll never have a connection with. It just…"

"Makes you feel 'not good enough?'" Dave says, his voice filled with sudden understanding.

"Sounds like you have experience," Artie replies, giving a quick hi-five.

"I just know how-" Dave cuts himself off as he almost runs into all of the non-glee Titans. "'Sup? Could you move? Like _now_."

"You know, I was just checking my bucket list, 'cause I was adding 'Kick Dave Karofsky's ass, former friend,' and I noticed that slushying you Abrams, wasn't crossed off," Azimio says with a smirk.

"You're the one that ended that one douche!" Dave sneers back. "Besides, bullying a kid in a wheelchair that can't even run, gets you an express ticket to hell pal."

"Like I care," Azimio says as the jocks begin to corner the two gleeks. "You two brought this on yourselves for believing that 'embracing your differences' bullshit."

"Better than being a narrow-minded jackass like all of you," Artie fires back, right before a freezing rain of artificial slush sends ripples of cold and pain through him and his new friend. He can't see, but he can hear Dave drop one of the offenders and slam another into a locker before an all-familiar voice booms throughout the hallway.

"All of you clean jocks, Figgins' office **now**! Lurch and Wheels go clean off. Each word spoken will be responded to with a tap of my cattle prod. **MOVE**!" comes the command from one Sue Sylvester. "Glee kids are fine but you do _**NOT**_ turn on your own. Maybe I should give your parents brochures on Military schools in the state." She proceeds to play around with something that _could _be a cattle prod as she herds the group to the front of the school.

On the way to the showers the two run into Santana, who looks pissed off as usual. Her expression changes the instant she sees the both of them covered in gooey crap.

"Holy shit guys, you okay?" she asks as she moves back to the locker room and holds the door for them.

"Not really," Artie replies as he tries to wipe the slush from his eyes.

"Coach Sylvester's taking care of the other guys," Dave says as he grabs a towel he _hopes_ is clean. Santana rips it out of his hands and pushes him onto a bench, then hands them clean towels.

"Before you ask, yes, she _does _in fact have a cattle prod," she says as she steps into a shower stall and turns its neighbors on to pre-warm them. "This is ridiculous. They waste all this money on slushies then wonder why we say they're cheapskates on dates."

Dave has enough out of his hair and eyes to help Artie with his vest and shirt. Before the issue of his pants can be asked, Santana's already pushing Dave's hands off and smiling at Artie.

"Not that I haven't thought about it Wheels, just that I'm not really into smart guys," she says as she slips off the soaked slacks, socks, and shoes. "But this thing between us, it gots to go. Britts ain't happy about our tension."

"And what do you have planned about that?" Artie asks as he gives a quick weak smile as his boxers are pulled off. "The only problem I have with you is that you've been nothing but a total bitch to me."

"And now Britts is totally sprung on you," she says as she wheels his chair to the far stall. She doesn't hide her quick cruise of Dave before lifting Artie from his wheel chair to the shower chair. "That means that if I want to keep her as a friend I need to find some way of standing you."

"That shouldn't be that hard," Dave says as he lathers his hair a second time. "You both love Brittany, right? Work it around that."

The Latina and the paraplegic both blush, saving the boy from the embarrassment of trying to hide an erection. They lock eyes for a few seconds, as though they're having an entire night's worth of conversations. This trance is broken when Artie almost slides off the chair. He uses his arms to hold himself up while the cheerleader adjusts the chair so it's actually level.

"Sorry Wheels," she says, exhausted. "I totally thought that was good enough so you wouldn't fall."

"It's cool," he replies as he rubs his arms. "Umm, since I'm not as fast as Superman over there, could you, maybe…"

She pauses for a second, and honestly can't come up with a reason not to. "Sure. We'll both get to see Britts sooner that way."

Dave pauses for a second after finishing his shower and tries to make out what's happening the next stall over. He mentally scratches his head and begins to gear up for glee. _I know what I _said_, but what the hell did they _hear?

(_)

"…So I told her 'you are **not** putting those McQueen knock-offs anywhere…" Kurt stops mid-story and stares at the right doorway as Dave walks through it. "Did you take _another _shower?"

Dave simply nods as he slams his duffle down in front of the seat next to Kurt and plops down. "Z and the rest cornered me and Artie. Take a guess what they did."

"Oh no, Artie?" Brittany yelps as she leaps up and begins to run out of the choir room, only to stop in her tracks as everyone sees _Santana _pushing _Artie_. "Wait, you're both wet?"

"Seems like Davy-bear here can take a full shower in less than a minute," the dark-skinned Cheerio says playfully. "'Course it could be that you have an _awesome _piece of man there Brit."

In between kisses from his girlfriend Artie manages to get out "It's so cold and sticky, and it totally acts like icy junk-glue."

"I don't really care what you say Finn, this ends **NOW**!" Noah bellows as he jumps from his seat and storms off toward the door, Kurt, Sam, Mercedes, Mike, and Finn behind him. Dave trails just behind them. They're stopped as they run into their intended targets.

"Seriously? A kid in a wheelchair?" Noah asks as he takes a menacing step forward.

"And you badasses had to corner them to do it?" Kurt adds with an eye-roll.

"Whatever Lady Luck," Greyson says with a sneer.

"Watch it asshole," Sam says as he pushes to the front. "You don't seem to do well against walls."

"Whatcha think you doin'?" Azimio asks as he notices Dave. "You sidin' with these queermos?"

"I'm on the side of real friends dipshit," Dave replies coolly, driving in the last nail.

"All of you, seats, now," Mr. Schue orders as he and Coach Beiste push past the pissed-off teens into the room. Once everyone's seated, and the players notice Dave, Kurt, and Noah sitting next to each other and having their own conversation, Mr. Schue claps his hands and announces "say hello to the new members of the New Directions!"

( =-O )

"I still can't believe you smacked Azimio upside the head with a guitar," Kurt says as he pushes his salad away. "That was a good instrument."

"I can't believe you punched Mueller in the face," Noah replies as he picks off a piece of lettuce, then spits it out. "Dude, the dressings here suck."

"Douche deserved it," Dave said as he pushes his tray away. "Kurt? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, I guess Dave," Kurt replies as he leans into Noah.

"It's easier, being O.C., right?"

"Yes."

"Definitely," Noah replies as he sips his cherry Fanta.

"I can't see this ending well," Brittany says as she places a quick kiss to Artie's cheek.

"I hate to agree with the gloom, but I do," Santana adds as she snags a tot off of Artie and Brittany's shared tray.

"You two are getting along better," Kurt says as he checks his phone and begins to type. Dave's phone rings just a few seconds later.

"You and B doing well?" Noah asks as Dave just nods a response and enters his own world, a gacky smile plastered to his face.

"Guys, I don't like what's happening." Brittany says randomly as Dave tries to hide his face with a couple of binders. Everyone notices that the non-glee football players are staring at their table.

"You don't like what Brit?" Noah asks.

"Coach Sylvester. She's up to something. She's been watching cartoons, more than I do. That isn't good."

"I guess we'll just have to see what happens, huh?" Santana says as she snags another tot and tosses it into Brittany's mouth.

(_)

"So I guess that settles it," Rachel says after Mr. Schue delivers the bad news. "I totally understand Quinn. Popularity means a lot to you."

"I didn't say I was going to choose cheerleading," Quinn replies defensively. "That cannon isn't safe and I doubt Coach is doing anything other than reloading it."

"I say screw her," Santana adds, surprising everyone. "Three cups-sizes worth of falsies and sparkler tits aren't enough for her, she can go to hell."

"Wait, you guys had big boobs that shot sparkles?" Strando asks. "And no one saw that?"

"We also had smurf wigs," Brittany adds as she locks pinkies with Santana.

"So, since we won't have Cheerios, we'll do the halftime show ourselves," Mr. Schue says as he hands out sheet music. "We'll do a zombified mashup of MJs _Thriller _and the Yeah Yeah Yeah's _Heads will Roll._"

While the gleeks drink up the news, their jock counterparts get annoyed very quickly. Azimio speaks up first.

"So what, we put on dresses and do some kind of Zombie Drag Queen show?"

"What part of 'zombified' did you not understand you small-minded bastard?" Rachel yells, silencing the room. "We normally dress up in skirts and tuxes for competitions, and whatever's needed for performances other places."

"She's right," Quinn adds. "And at least Kurt did a somewhat unisex outfit last year for our Gaga week." She glares at Greyson as she adds "He has no desire to actually dress like a girl."

"Even if it _would_ be kinky-hot," Noah murmurs before he's elbowed by his boyfriend.

"Zombie bootcamp on the stage in five guys," Beiste says as she 'gently' leads the jocks there.

Dave takes his time as he gets a message that he responds to, then begins to type again. When he joins the others he has a smile that threatens to break his face in half.

( :-P )

"No, Mike, stop being a ham and be serious," Dave says as he picks the guy off the floor. _Fourty-five minutes and this is still the best we can do_?

"Umm, Rachel, that's **too **serious," Brittany says as she grabs her hands and sets them to her sides.

"Remember that we're undead and mindless," Tina adds as she demonstrates. "Classic zombie, not those freaks in the Zach Snyder remakes."

"They're badass though," Kurt says as he lurches over to Noah and Finn, menacingly.

"We're new to this guys," Strando says as he tries to do a zombie walk but ends up looking like a spazz.

"You've had that grin on your face since lunch Karofsky," Mueller says as he tries a spin as a zombie and pulls it off. "Good tail waiting for ya?"

"You can say that," Dave replies as he tries to hide his phone. He's unsuccessful as Greyson snags it and fools around with it. He stops and stares at it, his jaw hanging.

"Dude, _Blaine_?" Greyson says as he hands the phone to Azimio. The gleeks stop and look at their newest official member with both concern and sympathy.

"Yeah," Dave weakly replies.

"That's a dude dude," Mueller says as he looks between Azimio, Dave, and the phone.

"Probably because I'm gay dumbasses," Dave says with a stronger voice as he rips the phone out of his former best friend's hands. "And no, I wasn't converted. I've known since I was six."

"What about that slammin' red-head that bailed you out of juvie?" Azimio asks, almost speechless. "The one that tore up your back and neck?"

"Dylan. I just left out the part about him being a guy."

"Guys, focus!" Mr. Schue calls out, getting their attention. "We can work on the zombie walk and the de-closeting later, but now we need to show you how to do zombie makeup."

"Hell no!" Azimio whines. He's pulled by the neck by Beiste and led backstage.

"Hell yes!" She mocks as she gives a shove and herds the rest of her flock. She looks to Will and nods. "You three can take a few minutes. I'm sure Quinn, Rachel, and Tina can handle a little extra work."

"Dave, are you okay?" the teacher asks once the stage is occupied only by them and Purt. "It looks like you're still holding your breath."

"I think… That I'll be okay," Dave manages to get out before hunching over.

"That was a little… forced," Kurt says as he places a hand on the large jock's back.

"It's okay to cry too," Noah says as he slings an arm over his shoulder. "I did when I came out to my Ma."

"You did what?" Dave asks as he stands up, wiping his face.

"I guess love finally beat me over the head enough bro," Noah jokes with a little shake.

"How do you _feel_ David?" Kurt asks as he takes a step back.

"I don't know," he responds, then shrugs his shoulders. "I guess… free?"

"Totally," the gleek couple say in unison. They retreat backstage to begin their stage transformations.

( o.O )

"Anything else you wanna spring on us?" Greyson shouts as he tries to rub the slushie out of his eyes. He's shoved onto a bench and held in place by Dave as eyedrops are shot into his sore eyes.

"I can handle **one **of these things but not both!" Mueller says as he strips down and throws himself into a shower stall.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Noah says as he deftly finishes cleaning up. "I used to do this all the time and you guys did this to Israel _this morning_!"

"First you then Karofsky. Anyone else here queer?" Azimio shouts as he blindly tries to grab the towel on his lap. Dave tosses him a clean one, landing it on his face.

"So that's it, huh?" Dave says as he moves to the fifth jock he's 'treated' for slushie. "Not even first names?"

"How can you fucking _**LIE **_to me all this time?"

"What was Dave supposed to do?" Finn asks. "Hey, Azimio, we've been best friends for years, I'm gay, let's break up that couple so we can both score?"

"Better than lying," Mueller says as he begins to dress again.

"You _really _don't have room to talk there douchebag," Noah replies icily.

"Whatever," Azimio says. "Coach, they leave or we do. Ain't playing with fags and liars on the team."

"And you can forget about that shitty half-time show," Greyson adds.

"They stay, and you **will **do the show or you don't play!" Besite says as he slams her clipboard down. "Karofsky and Puckerman? They have more balls and skills than _you two _ever will."

"Whatever. Good luck winning with only six players," they say as the non-glee players walk out of the locker room.

"Huh…" Dave says as he changes his shirt.

"So, what now?" Sam asks as he flips through the rule book.

"A miracle?" Artie says as he wheels himself out, trying to come up with a plan.

(_)

"This song looks…" Noah tries to find the right words but trails off.

"Very sloppy and crappy?" Rachel finishes.

"Keep in mind that I don't have time to teach you how to sing it in Japanese _and _how to perform it," Dave says as he loads the video again to show them what they were going to be performing.

"That looks awesome!" Mike says as he looks at his girlfriend. "Of course you won't be laughing for real, right?" Tina responds by simply slapping his arm and kissing him.

Brittany and Santana are already working on a way for Artie to be a part of the number, Sam, Quinn, Mercedes, and Finn are already working on costumes, and Dave's explaining that it's the performance itself, not the words.

"Guys, what's going on?" Mr. Schue asks as he enters the room. "It looks like you have a number for something?"

"With the rest of the Titans quitting, we need to find a way to make them see that it's pretty cool to perform," Noah says as he wraps Kurt in a hug from behind.

"And you know what they say," Santana adds as she leans on the handles to Artie's wheelchair. "If they won't do the right thing willingly," she purposely glares at Noah, "then shame them into it."

"I'm not sure I'm okay with that," the teacher replies. "What if it backfires?"

"It won't," Rachel replies. "It's sexy and barely allowed, so it'll go over well with the other students."

"I think since this is something that _could _put us at risk of being disbanded," Kurt steps up and turns to face the rest of his friends, "that Noah and I should lead it." The cheering by itself is enough for Will to give in and help them rehearse.

After two hours and endless pleas to find either a different song or a better translation, Mr. Schue calls for a time-out.

"David, seriously, we need better lyrics."

"Do you know how difficult it is to translate Japanese rap?" he says, very annoyed.

"Mr. Schue, this' fine," Mike replies as he helps Mercedes find her sweet spot for her landings.

"If you're sure guys," Mr. Schue says defeatedly.

"They won't really be paying attention to the words Mr. Schue," Quinn says whimsically.

(KM)

"The game's tomorrow. Do you think this'll work?" Kurt asks as the gleeks walk to the quad.

"I hope so," Noah replies as he blatantly checks out his boyfriend in his costume. "You're totally hot in that." _Man, the things I'm gonna do to you later!_

"Not now Puck," Santana says as she double checks the area. "We're lucky it's still cold. It's pretty empty."

"It shouldn't be for long," Sam says as he obviously tries to shake his nerves. "Coach's in on this, right?"

"It didn't even take any real convincing," Mike replies as he tries to not ogle Tina. "Is it okay to be so turned on by seeing you dressed like this?"

"Ask later after the performance-slash-throwdown," Tina replies as she takes her mark.

"Holy crap guys! You actually look normal," a blonde cheerleader says as she steps into the quad. "Those clothes look good on you. Especially you Berry."

"Thank you Cindy," Rachel replies. "Um, why are you doing this? You know, helping the Glee Club?"

"Let's get one thing straight Berry. I'm only doing this as an apology to Quinn," she says coldly. "And the rest of us are doing this because we don't want to just be cheering around a fucking cannon."

"That's good enough for me," Rachel says. "Thank you for standing up to, or ignoring, Coach Sylvester."

"I can see Coach Beiste," Finn says. "Get ready Brittany."

After a bout of laughing intense enough to cause some of the deserters to double over they make their way into the quad. The Four Corners are staring down Dave and Santana, but it's one of the new players that speaks.

"Is this what I think this is?"

"A throw-down in front of the whole school, yeah, it is Mollison," Noah says as he drops his arm from Kurt's waist.

A snorting Azimio manages to get out "I don't see anyone else here dumbass" before a wave of students descend upon the quad, heading for the cafeteria.

"Just go with it man," Dave says as he nods to Brittany. "Oh, and the school knows about this."

"You know the captain of the wrestling team, right?" Beiste says as she looks over the other half of her team. "She also runs the A/V club and she's recording this."

"Dudes, you're with me, babes, you're with Kurt," Noah says as they all take their marks. "Now Britts!"

[Noah]

Yeah Yeah Special Collaboration

Ugh! D.I Production

Qubutu Representatives

K to The Mother Fucking M

You Know, Let's Go

[Kurt]

Even if you wish to

Continue having sweet dreams forever

Things don't go well sometimes, in this world

Instead of wishing for something like that

Just try and trust me

We'll become one, and yes, we'll start walking on

[Noah]

Yeah, let's go! There's no mistakin' it, let's do it! On and on

Mark it well, this golden show on the mic

No gimmics, now this song is in season

Catch it, ride right now on this smooth flow

Proof that this guy does it the same as always

Now, two big vibes are in resonance

Let's go and win! This song is a winner

KM and Kumi, yeah, aim for this light! Come on!

[Girls]

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and get it

[Kurt]

Put your right hand up, like I want you to

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

Let what I trust in continue on after this

[Girls]

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and taste it

[Kurt]

So that I won't repeat

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

The normal things that never change

[Noah]

Yeah you like the hot stuff

Then come n git it

C'mon

[Kurt]

A desire that I can't reach out to with my hand

There aren't any of those

(Girls open the guys zippers and push them back)

Do you know that there isn't anything like that in the world?

That's been the case for everything so far

(Kurt leans back to the floor and writhes up and down a few times)

I thought that I wanted to always follow behind

A broad back

(Kurt climbs to standing on Noah, then pushes to the 'front' of the group)

[Noah]

I do some seriously big gambling in the big city

The level of risk is 100, I win rough and really nasty

I take a shot! Yeah, I got the hot stuff

In my mind I'm gonna do it right now, a really dangerous guy appears

I really won't stop it, that's right, all day all night

I'm gonna follow, I wanna do as much as I like through my whole life

It's the special collaboration with da U.B

We're city savages, and we rock the heart of the city, holla!

[Girls]

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and get it

[Kurt]

Put your right hand up, like I want you to

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

Let what I trust in continue on after this

[Girls]

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and taste it

[Kurt]

So that I won't repeat

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

The normal things that never change

[Kurt's Team]

(Walks up to the boys, pull their waistbands, look in)

Boy You Know I Got What You Need

(Snap the waistband back and laugh)

Tonight's Gonna Be So Fine

[Noah's Team]

(March to the girls while the girls look horrifically amused)

Girl You Know I Got What You Want

(Basically air-fucking the space between them and the girls)

All Night We Can Be So Fine

[Kurt's Team]

(Getting in the boy's faces while looking sexy-pissed)

Boy You Know I Got What You Need

(Runs their hands down the boy's chests)

Tonight's Gonna Be So Fine

[Noah's Team]

Girl You Know I Got What You Want

(Touches stop just before the girl's cleavage line)

All Night We Can Be So Fine

[Kurt's Team]

(Pushes the boys away and takes a step back)

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and get it

[Kurt]

Put your right hand up, like I want you to

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

Let what I trust in continue on after this

[Girls]

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and taste it

[Kurt]

So that I won't repeat

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

The normal things that never change

[Girls]

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and get it

[Kurt]

The important things to me are right next to me

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

I take what I want

[Girls]

Cause I got the hot stuff, come and taste it

[Kurt]

And on days when being hurt scares me

[Girls]

And I got the hot stuff, if you like it

[Kurt]

I meet up with you, and go hand in hand

'Cause I got the hot stuff, come and take it…

The cheering lasts for several minutes, at least from those who were not fighting their arousal at the spectacle that had just occurred. Lauren looks very pleased at what she saw and recorded, Jacob Ben Israel is passed out with a jacket in front of his crotch, and most of the hockey team is leering with smirks on their faces. The adulation is broken by a surprising shout by Greyson.

"We're still not playing if we have to do that stupid number!"

"Dude, we're studs now," Noah says as he winks at a few of the girls surrounding them as he pulls Kurt into his arms. "They like it."

"Yeah, 'cause it ain't gay," Azimio says as the other players gather behind him. "Despite you and your boy almost fucking in front of everyone."

"What's the matter Z, afraid you'd want to join in on the hotness?" Kurt teases angrily.

"Still. Not. Happening!" he shouts as he spins around and storms off. As the group leaves Mueller looks back and hangs his head, then continues on with the group.

"It wasn't a total waste," Mercedes says as she raises her eyebrows and smiles at a group of guys that are politely drooling over her.

"So, what's plan C?" Quinn says as she sends off the rest of the cheerleaders with a smile.

"Dunno, haven't gotten that far," Dave replies as he sits on a table with his feet on the bench.

"Scabs?" Kurt says as he puts his arms around Noah's.

"Or maybe we can steal one of those guys," Brittany says as she pushes Artie's chair to 'their' table, Santana on his lap.

"Totally," the Latina adds. "There's so much blackmail material just waiting to be loaded on instragram."

"Well, we only need four players now. I'm rejoining," Kurt says, then winces as Noah squeezes him too tightly.

"Babe, you were a kicker. Being tackled _hurts_!" Noah says as he kisses Kurt's neck as he turns him around to face him.

"And if I'm, _anyone's_, tackled hard enough they can end up quadriplegic, I understand this sweets," Kurt says as he places his hands on Noah's chest. "I can be a kicker and a receiver, can't I?"

"Kurt, NO!" Finn shouts. "It's too dangerous. And I don't want to see any more of my friends in a wheelchair."

"So what do we do?" Kurt looks to his brother and boyfriend, then slips out of Noah's embrace. "Have the girls join? Forfeit the game?"

"We'll need something," Tina says. "And why can't we join? We can catch pretty well, and we can run pretty well."

"Are you forgetting about the _tackling hurting like hell _part snookums?" Mike asks.

"We have a few hours to think of something guys," Rachel says. "And we should find a way to join the team, just in case."

(_)

"Okay, you girls know what you're doing, don't you?" Coach Beiste asks as she takes the authorization forms.

"We know exactly what we're going Coach," Quinn says as she takes a seat.

"Wait, Blaine? Are you sure?" Dave asks into his phone. After nodding he puts it on speaker.

"Coach? Blaine says that the rules let us play with just nine guys on the field," Dave says as Sam jumps up and points to a page in the rulebook.

"He's right. It's right here."

"Okay," Beiste says as she takes the book. "So we only need one of you on the field. That's a little off my mind."

"So if one guy crosses the lines, we don't have to play?" Santana says, a little disappointed.

"Only if we don't get benched," Kurt adds. Everyone looks to a knock on the doorframe of the choir room. "Hey San, you psychic or something?"

"I'm sorry," Mueller says as he takes a step into the room. "I actually liked the stuff you helped us with."

"It's about time dude," Dave says as he pulls the phone away.

"So, you're talking to… Blaine?" Mueller asks.

"Yeah, and he wants to talk to you Mueller," Dave replies as he hands the returning jock the phone.

"This is Dan," he says nervously into the handset.

"_Thank you for doing the right thing_," Blaine encourages the teen. "_It takes more courage to do the right thing and be true to yourself than anything else._"

"Thanks, I'll remember that Blaine," Dan replies as he tries to hide a sniffle. "I'll give you back to Karofsky- Dave."

"Okay guys, let's go over the plays again," Beiste says with a little more cheer. "At least the ones we can pull off with nine guys."

(_)

"We have just over a minute to do this," Finn says as he calls their first timeout. "Any more ideas on how to get those meatheads to help?"

"I have one," Kurt says as he eyes Noah and Finn. "I'll talk to them."

"No way in hell!" Noah and Dave say at the same time.

"I'll be fine," Kurt reassures. "It'd be worse to have a cheerleader score the winning kick/touchdown than the town fairy," he finishes as he breaks and heads to the locker room. He tags Rachel in on his way.

"I know you don't want me getting hurt, but I can do this," she says as she puts her helmet on. "I still don't feel like I've apologi-"

"Rachel, you've done enough," Finn says as he sees agreement with more than just the play. "You just need to find a balance between this completely selfless new you and totally self-centered old you."

Rachel nods and after showing she understands the play, Noah pulls her aside for a quick word.

"He still loves you, you know that, right?"

"I know," she replies. "I still love him too."

"Just don't, _push_, the issue too hard," Noah says as he gives her a side hug. "Let the two of you get back together naturally."

She nods in agreement, then asks "Can we still keep our seven point lead?" She knows the smirk he gives as a response. _I don't see how he can be so cocky…_

(LR)

The guys are just moping around looking sad and beaten. There's no talking, no texting, even no comments about how bad they're going to be humiliated by having the _fag _score not only a touchdown but also his **own **kicking point. The only difference when Kurt walks in is a look of shame and a little fear.

"So, you know why I'm here then," the young soprano says as he sweeps the room.

"I still don't want to do the song and dance thing," Strando instantly replies as he empties his empty locker.

"Let me make this simple for you guys," Kurt answers with a smirk. "And I'll even use your language. Three queers scored four of five plays on our side. By now, everyone knows that number 20's included in that. IF you want to be more than a reference at the bottom of the Wikipedia entry of our first title in almost twenty years, get your asses out there!"

"Guys, he's right," Greyson says as he slides his duffle off his shoulder. "My dad would kill me if I at least wasn't on the field."

Sighing, Azimio does the same. "My dad'll ground me for wasting his time and money if I'm not there."

The other players grumble as they shuffle to the changing area. When Azimio, Strando, and Greyson try to join Kurt pulls them to the other side of the locker room.

"Not that I care at this point, but I know about your little bet," Kurt says as he enters a new type of bitch-mode.

Trying to back away from the… _evil-looking _male diva, they hit a wall.

"Don't know what you're talking about dude," Azimio says as he forces a calm exterior and fails.

"Dave spilled the beans when he got back from juvie. That's really the best you cheap teen-movie knock-offs could do? $500?"

"**That **doesn't matter anymore either," Greyson says as he takes a hold of himself. "Daddy, _Davy-Bear_, Mommy, and Muffy McBoobjob ended it right about Christmas."

"So, why hasn't anyone told Noah?" Kurt asks. _This would be soooo _**perfect**! _We could just be happy. Huh? Right. Noah doesn't know._

"Because we weren't supposed to tell either of you, dumbfuck!" Strando says as he palm-punches the back of Greyson's head.

"Right," Azimio says as he gets up to leave. "Puck's mom? She somehow knows how to make military pepper spray from kitchen shit."

"Get your asses in costume and to the field, douchebags," Kurt calls as he runs back to the field. _What the fuck am I going to do about this? Fuck! I gotta go alone on this one…_

(When the Game Started…)

After the first few plays Blaine got worried about the possible creeper next to him. The guy was always smiling, cheering a little louder than the other spectators. _Okay, not as loud as Kurt's parents, but still_. Then he put the pieces together and got angry.

"Hi, Blaine Anderson," he offers, cheerily. _This might not be him._

"Dylan Logan," comes the reply along with a hand. After an obligatory shake the Warbler drops his hand and stares hostilely at the dancer.

"Come to see your boyfriend in action?" Blaine spits out.

"He's not mine," Dylan replies sadly. "I still don't trust myself. Not after what I did to him back then."

"So, what? When you're ready he drops me and slides back onto your cock?"

"Why Blaine," Dylan teases, "I didn't think you could be so crude."

"I can see what he's into now," Blaine seethes, not hiding his disdain for this muscly, red-headed, _perfect_ guy.

Dylan spins Blaine around and puts a strong hand on his chest. "When I believe I'm ready for Dave, and I don't see that happening as long as you have something that I can't offer, the choice is his."

"And what, pray tell, is that?" Blaine asks.

"A clean slate," Dylan replies. "No past, no pre-set expectations. You can make everything between you two your own, in your own way."

Blaine notices the few tears escaping the corners of Dylan's eyes and relaxes a bit. He takes a deep breath before responding. "Do you love him?"

"Yes, with all my heart," Dylan replies with a slight wavering of his voice. "And I love him enough to make him discover if there's someone else out there who can love him more."

The uniformed teen turns around to look at Dylan and take him in. _It must really be killing him to give Dave up. No, it _is _killing him to be doing this._ "Why are you willing to give him up?"

"I told you, I don't feel that I deserve more than what I got," Dylan replies. "I got a chance to find out if my feelings were real or not."

Blaine almost looks ashamed about how he acted. _Almost_. "Are they?"

A choked 'yes' is all that Dylan can manage. Anymore and there'd be more tears than the ones streaking his olive face.

Blaine lowers his head, finding the right words to say. "Well, umm, then… I'll try to be your friend too. I don't want to be one of those boyfriends that say _you can't have guy friends as long as you're with me!_"

Dylan looks into Blaine's eyes, and takes one of his hands in his, shaking it, smiling. "I'm Dylan Logan. I love your boyfriend, but I just want to be both of your friends."

Blaine shakes and smiles back. "Blaine Anderson, and I'd like that. Thank you for being upfront. But if you touch my boyfriend, I'll cut it off."

"Noted Blaine. No touching your boyfriend."

(After the Game)

In the choir room everyone's celebrating. The events of the last week seem to have no bearance on who's hugging or hi-fiving who. The only remembrance of the events are Dave hanging out with Noah, Kurt, Finn, and Sam, not Azimio. Mueller even goes over to congratulate them on their performance on the field. The room falls silent as a tall, dark haired teen and a comparatively gargantuan _dude _walks in.

"Did someone make this a choir room as an afterthought?" the dark haired one jokes as he locks eyes with Dave.

"Blaine! Dylan!" Dave shouts as he practically jumps toward the two and engulfs them both in a bear hug.

"Good to see you too buddy," Dylan says as he deftly unwraps himself. "He's your boyfriend and he's missed you this week."

"Wait, you came all the way here to see me?" Dave asks as he places a kiss to Blaine's forehead, causing only a couple of disgusted sounds from the non-glee Titans.

"It's not that far," Blaine says as he wraps an arm around Dave and nudges toward the chairs.

"But Dylan, aren't you living in _Akron_?" Kurt asks, nicely.

"I never miss a championship game," Dylan replies as he takes a seat on the piano bench. "And not when I know some of the players."

Azimio stands and moves to the piano bench, stomach to Dylan's face. "You got him out of juvie?"

"Yeah. Is that a problem?" Dylan replies, the embodiment of calm.

"You give 'im those marks?"

"Jealous he got more than you did that weekend?"

Azimio lunges at Dylan, but a lifetime of dance and watching martial arts makes the spark-plug shaped teen faster. As fast as it started, it seems to be over.

"This must be Azimio Adams then," Dylan says as he twists the boy's right arm behind his back, wrist to the bottom of his shoulder blades.

"Let me go!" Azimio shouts through his pain.

"Say the magic word Douche Prince," Dylan mocks.

"Now asshole!" Azimio screams.

"That's better," Dylan says as he releases Azimio and pushes him back to the side with more football players. "I _can _be a douche sometimes, but other than liking dudes, I'm just like most of you." He looks to Artie and Mike and adds "I'm also a bit of a geek too." Other than Azimio, still nursing his throbbing arm and shoulder, everyone breaks into laughter and back into a mood to celebrate.

(NBFK)

"So busy all week," Noah says against Kurt's lips as he hungrily undoes the buttons to his pale boyfriend's shirt. "So fucking hot babe."

"You too," Kurt moans as he rips the belt off of Noah's jeans, flinging it aside. "Those baggy jeans," he says as he latches to the darker neck, "the strap on the field, all that kept me from showing my wood for you."

"You're incredible," Noah moans as Kurt bites on his neck, just enough to leave a mark. "I'm totally yours," he gasps as he expertly pulls the shirt and skinny jeans off on a single fluid motion.

"How much sweets?" Kurt asks as he shoves the jeans down, then pulls off the Halo shirt his man _was _wearing.

Noah lifts Kurt up so he can nibble on the skin covering his solar plexus. Over the last few weeks Noah discovered that _this _spot was the most sensitive of his still-wondrous boyfriend's erogenous zones. "You're perfect."

The moan elicited from Kurt was more powerful than even a whole bag of E-tabs to Noah's body. Any doubts as to true attraction was erased as the pale teen writhed in ecstasy. Noah walked to the bed and lay Kurt down, moving lower to his self-deemed perfect member. Through Kurt's writhing, his moaning from almost super-human levels of pleasure engulfing all other senses, Noah brought him to the edge in minutes, then backed off. He did this several more times until Kurt grabbed the strip of hair and pulled Noah into a pleading, desperate kiss.

"Noah," Kurt said through gasps of breath. "You're teasing," he finished with mouths pressed against each other, tongue's dancing in the other's mouth.

"Edging," Noah replies, hands running down his lover's sides. "I want you to be ready," he says as he pulls away and opens the drawer. "To have me."

Kurt pulls him back to kiss his neck, to run his hands over the now-craved solidness of Noah's back. "I'm all yours sweets…" he replies breathlessly. He feels himself becoming more excited when he hears the cap open and the gel being squirt out, but pauses when he feels _his _rod being primed.

"Noah..?" Kurt gasps as he raises his head. He finds Noah preparing himself, wet fingers slowly seeking entrance into himself. He's purposely maneuvered his body so Kurt can see the entire spectacle without obstruction.

"This-" Noah gasps as a second finger slides in fully, "is all I have left for you, to be yours." He moans again as a third finger finds entrance, causing him to buck forward and down. "C'est à vous ma tendresse." He gives one last thrust of his fingers before removing them and wiping them off on the well-soiled jersey from earlier that night. He positions himself above the pale teen, placing a light feathered kiss to the red lips. With an almost imperceptible nod he begins to lower himself onto Kurt's manhood.

"God, Noah!" Kurt gasps as he feels the tightness from the first ring. "Donc, serré et chaud!"

Desperate. Hungry. Overwhelmed with how amazing, how… _right_ this all feels, Noah slides himself all the way down, moaning into his lover's mouth. His hands cup Kurt's jaw, winding to stroke the back of his hair with his fingertips. He looks into those glassy-blue eyes in a new light, one he never thought about with Santana, Quinn, Rachel. _Content. This is what everyone else's been looking for._

Moving his hands under Noah's arms, Kurt brings his hands to the top of Noah's shoulders, along his lats and shoulder blades. He pulls Noah down and sucks on his neck down to his bicep. "Noah, thank you, for your gift."

"Je t'aimerai pour toujours maintenant, mon sauveur," comes the reply from the control position as he begins to move. The friction is intense, both parts being used in a new way. Every buck from Noah causes a new balling of Kurt's fists, which causes perfectly-maintained nails to dig into tanned, toned flesh. Despite their deep kisses, their being surrounded by big pillows and thick bedding, it's very apparent what they're doing by sound alone. Neither cares as they continue their new dance.

They exist in this moment of unity for as long as they can, both finding their own rhythm. They stay with Noah in control for almost an hour before Kurt begins to instinctually buck himself up. They break their kiss long enough to look into each other's eyes, filled with love and trust. Without thinking Kurt pushes himself up and wraps an arm around the small of Noah's back, pressing the longer, darker erection against their stomachs. He restarts the kiss as their moans sound again, in tandem. One set of hips causes a harmonic motion in the other set. Each young man loses themselves as they fully become one flesh. Once past their threshold they erupt violently as one, each pulse, each throb, exactly at the same time.

As they become aware of where they _physically _are there's a knock on the door. "Everything okay down there?" Burt asks in a half-asleep voice.

"Just fine dad," comes a tandem response, both of them slinking to their prone but joined positions.

"'k'," Burt replies, his footsteps receding into nothingness.

Both teens fall asleep in this embrace, feeling that it will last forever.

* * *

><p>Can this get <em>any <strong>hotter? <strong>_Wait, I'm in charge of that, and... maybe? Just keep reading and find out. :-P

No, I still don't know French, but I'm getting pretty good at quadruple-checking Google Translate to make sure it makes _some _form of sense.

Speaking of:

C'est à vous ma tendresse. _It's all yours my love._

Donc, serré et chaud! _So tight and hot!_

Je t'aimerai pour toujours maintenant, mon sauveur. _I'll love you forever now, my savior._


	8. My Lonely Valentine

I am once again finding formattng errors in my documents, but it's gotten better since I've changed from Win7 to Ubuntu. Also of note, I've started to use my Samsung Skyrocket to complete chapters again. Lucky because I barely finished this chapter in time to give you your weekly dose of Purt drama... and this one is, just... WOW!

It jumps between different groups and is a little shorter than I normally write, but I have a reason for that. Please review so I know how to write this better for you guys. I finally turned on Anon-reviews, but I can't directly respond to you if you do that.

The French spoken by Puck in the choir room was corrected by crazysnape (thanks buddy!), and as usual, here's the list and songs done in this chapter. No slash or smut though... :'(

tinyurl . com / NotAGM (I'm still working on which songs will be in the story)

Cutting Crew, (I Just) Died in your Arms Tonight, (Broadcast, 1986): Virgin Records

Katy Perry, E.T. (Teenage Dream, 2010): Capitol Records

* * *

><p><span>My Lonely Valentine<span>

"So I tried to shave Lord Tubbington, so he can use the patches to stop smoking, but my mom told me she'd do it," Brittany says causally as she pulls books out of her locker. "She's good too because I can't even tell where she shaved him."

"O…kay," comes the response from Dave as he takes the books. "So, about your… _issues_, what makes you think I can help?"

Brittany rolls her eyes and closes her locker before leading them to Santana's locker. "You got them to be friends last week, and now she's seen him naked, so…" she trails off, then stops them. "You're seeing two people at the same time, right?"

Dave blanches and his jaw drops at the question, but he's saved by his new friend. "Dave's a lot of things, but he's NOT a player," Mercedes answers. "Besides, how can you cheat with someone you can't touch?"

"Alex did it in that scary movie," Brittany replies as they continue walking to Santana's locker.

"Okay, I'm just going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that," Mercedes answers as she purposely avoids looking at Kurt and Puck walking past them to their left. "I thought it would be a _good _thing for your man and your BFF to be friends."

"Yeah and look where it got you Puck and Kurt," the blonde says as she takes her books and saunters off, leaving the diva and footballer stunned.

"Wait, did she just serve us?" Dave asks as he glances at Mercedes.

"Uhh, yeah?"

"Damn she's good!"

(_)

"So you're just going to ignore her?" Noah asks as he gives Kurt's hand a squeeze.

"It's her fault that she didn't keep her unfounded thoughts her herself," Kurt answers as he stops at his locker. "I gave her plenty of warnings."

"Yeah, but, babe," Noah says as he moves behind Kurt and places his arms around his waist, earning a catcall from a couple of guys from the hockey team. "You two have a lot of _good _history. Don't you miss her?"

Kurt sighs as he turns around, earning a kiss from Noah. "I do, but you showed me that I don't have to keep dealing with peoples' idiotic attitudes and unfounded judgments."

"That's from people who not only suck but _don't matter_!" Noah replies, sliding his hands to Kurt's waist. "And why does she even think I'm playing you in the first place?"

_Dammit! Okay, just let a _little _of the truth out._ "There's a rumor that this is just a game. I'm trying to convert you, you gave up on moms after getting a couple pregnant. Things like that," Kurt says as he turns around to close his locker.

_Mouthy assholes! And I only got Quinn pregnant because she didn't give me time to slide a rubber on._ "Do you believe any of those? That I'd ever treat you like a game piece? Or willingly abandon my own flesh and blood?" the questions asked with pain and sorrow.

Kurt quickly spins around and wraps his arms around Noah's neck, bringing them together for a kiss. "Never. You'd never give _me _that gift you did after the game last week just to win some bet."

"There's a rumor about us being part of a bet?" Noah asks, a brief trace of Puck resurfacing, enough for Kurt to get a glimpse. _Don't fucking tell me I let you backdoor me to… what the fuck ever! Please don't break my heart…_

"If it's a game sweets, it's part of a bet. That's how these walking, useless, humping high school stereotypes work," he says with a mask of perfect ignorance of why Noah brought Puck back out. "And I don't think, or **feel**, that we're a game. I do, honestly, love you." _Shit! When did this turn to __**me **__being the asshole here?_

"I love you too," Noah says as he gently kisses his… _soulmate_? _When did I get so sentimental?_ "And I meant what I said. I need you as much as I need Beth and singing."

"Get a room dudes!" comes a catcall from some guy on the soccer team. He smirks and continues on his way.

"I don't doubt that Noah," Kurt replies as he takes one of his hands and begins walking towards his chemistry class.

(_)

"Dude, those queers? Totally grossing me out," McCallister says to the guy sitting next to him in geometry. "Always making out and holding hands."

"I don't see the problem," his classmate replies. "Grow up Mike, it hasn't gone away for over five thousand years."

"Besides, you wouldn't be saying that if it were, say, me and Brittany," Santana says as she yanks his homework out of his binder.

"That's different. Chicks-doing-chicks is hot," Mike replies as he tries to get his homework back.

"Okay, you're a total idiot," Santana replies as she smirks at the papers in front of her. "Seriously? The proportion isn't 1.3, and your answers are totally wrong." She grabs a piece of paper from her binder and scribbles something down, then hands the entire set back.

"What's this?" Mike asks as he stares at the paper the cheerleader wrote on.

"The answer dumbass," she seethes as she takes out her homework. "The proportion is 30 plus x divided by x, is equal to 22 divided by 14, is equal to y plus 15 divided by y."

The other classmate looks impressed. "She's right. Lopez, how'd you get so smart?"

"Okay, first of all, I'm hot. Second, I'll cut someone before giving them a chance to fuck me up. Third, brains keep the money flowing after the hotness stops. Deal with it."

"Wasn't complaining," he replies before the teacher walks in. "Just surprised, that's all."

When she sees him walking in, she doesn't see Noah – she sees Puck. _Adios Mio! This house of cards is falling faster than Glen Beck off a cliff…_

(_)

"This week's assignment: Love Songs!" Mr. Schue announces as the teens rejoice. "Your assignment this week is to sing us what _you _think is the best love song ever. And whoever gives the best performance gets a two-for-one coupon to Breadstix."

"I got this one Mr. Schue," Puck says as he stands and grabs an electric guitar. "Kurt, I know you're hiding something. I've known since we got together. And I've been hiding something from you."

_He's not going to be that stupid, is he?_ Dave thinks as he looks at Santana, knowing she's thinking the same thing.

_Please don't break up with me Noah, _Kurt thinks as he looks at his boyfriend with a puzzled expression. He mouths 'I love you.'

"I love you too babe," Puck replies. "But that was after I forced myself to stick around through some issues I was having. You remember that talk, right?" After Kurt nods he continues. "I was scared, that I was falling for you. Now I'm scared again. But now it's that you'll leave me. So I'm going to get this out, done, and over with."

_Don't you __**dare **__hurt my boy Puck! _Mercedes thinks as she glares at him. She notices the lost, pained expression on his face. _Wait, since does he do something he doesn't want to?_

"Hit it!"

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight

It must have been something you said

I just died in your arms tonight

(Puck turns and looks at Kurt with a sad expression)

I keep looking for something I can't get

Broken hearts lie all around me

And I don't see an easy way to get out of this

Her diary it sits on the bedside table

The curtains are closed, the cats in the cradle

Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight

It must've been something you said

I just died in your arms tonight

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight

It must've been some kind of kiss

I should've walked away, I should`ve walked away

(Puck lets a tear escape from the corner of his eyes)

Is there any just cause for feeling like this?

On the surface I'm a name on a list

I try to be discreet, but then blow it again

I've lost and found, it's my final mistake

She's loving by proxy, no give and all take

'cos I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight

It must've been something you said

I just died in your arms tonight

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight

It must been some kind of kiss

I should`ve walked away, I should've walked away

It was a long hot night

She made it easy, she made it feel right

But now it's over the moment has gone

I followed my hands not my head, I knew I was wrong

(Puck mouths "I'm sorry")

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight it must have been something you said, I just died in your arms tonight

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight it must have been some kind of kiss

I should have walked away, I should have walked away

"Before any of you ask, I haven't cheated on Kurt," Puck says after the last note plays and as he's setting the guitar back. "Just, babe," he walks to Kurt and takes his hands before continuing. "I _wanted _to walk away after the first time we had sex, but I talked to _someone_, and she helped me discover that I love you. I've never been in love before and that scared the shit out of me."

"He's right there," Finn says as he looks at Rachel with a look of loss.

"Agreed," Quinn adds. "Getting Puck to admit his feelings is like asking Santana to not have sex or me to honestly put someone else first at my peril."

With a glare to the blonde former-head cheerleader, Santana speaks up. "We's all know you two are in love. So why'd you sing a song about a cheating one nighter?"

"Because he thought it was just sex," Kurt replies, his voice wavering. "But it wasn't, was it?" he asks directly into _Noah's _eyes.

"It was love, love," Puck says as he kisses each of Kurt's hands. "No matter what anyone says, no matter what I've done in the past, **I, love, you**. Now and always after."

The two hug and share a kiss, surrounded by applause and murmurs of good luck and a lasting relationship. Neither Finn nor Rachel notice the looks they give each other, just like no one notices the looks exchanged between Artie, Santana, and Brittany…

(_)

"You want our help and we're **both **saying _no_," Dave says for the umpteenth time in less than half an hour.

"Kurt, you want Noah to know you love him," Blaine says as he tries to pocket the sheet music, but gets caught by Kurt. "This might be a big mistake."

"_I have to agree. This is _not _something to sing at a time like this_," Dylan says from his limited view on Skype.

"I honestly didn't ask you, _Max Headroom_!" Kurt seethes at the webcam. "Why did you even ask his opinion Blaine?"

"Because he probably knows what he's doing."

"Kurt, seriously," Dave says as he conferences Santana in on Skype, "_please don't do this._"

"_Hey, arm candy,_" Santana says as Dave moves aside. "_Yeah, Blaine. Can you give us a minute_?"

"Yeah, I guess," he replies dejectedly. "I'll bring down some tea?"

Once out of the room, Santana loses it. "_What the _**fuck's **_going on Ladyface_?_"_

"I know what you did last Christmas," Kurt says as he slumps against his couch. "And this is my way of telling Noah that it doesn't matter. That I'll always love him."

"_Umm, Kurt? _How _did you find out?" _Dylan asks as he looks to Santana and Dave.

"When I went and talked to the other jocks for the game? I pulled Azimio, Greyson, and Stando aside and told them I knew about the bet. Greyson spilled the rest."

"_Kurt, you can't do it like _**this**_!" _Santana shouts from her end. "_What you have planned could _crush _him!"_

"I have to agree," Dave says. "I don't know him as well as Finn, but none of us want him involved."

"Please, guys, trust me on this," Kurt pleads, tears forming.

"_I can't be a part of this," _Dylan says. _"I helped because Dave wanted you two to be happy. I won't be a part of destroying it."_

_ "Same here," _Santana chirps. _"Good luck Kurtie."_

"I thought we were your friends," Dave says as he grabs his things along with Blaine's. "But you won't listen to us. Why did you ask for our help anyway?"

"You've been helping plenty, just not telling us about it!" Kurt whines. "How is this different?"

"Because you're about to make a huge mistake," Dave says, tears falling freely down his cheeks. "I can't watch you do this, to him or to yourself. I'll send Finn down on our way out."

Kurt notices that Dave's cheeks are redder than normal, and that he was sweating. _That's odd... the heater isn't on down here..._

(_)

"Wait, **what**?" Nora screams as she hears what Santana, Dave, and Blaine are telling him all at once. "I think I just need to dump a whole bottle on-"

"Nora, it won't matter," Santana says as she puts her phone away. "We should have come up with an idea about what to do to let them know they can just stay in love."

"Can't we just tell them?" Blaine asks as he gives a concerned look to Dave, who's pale _and _flushing at the same time.

"No," Dave chokes out. "We should have had a mass family meeting and just..." he trails off as he begins to shiver.

"Sweetie, you don't look so good," Nora says as she presses a hand to Dave's forehead. "He's burning up! Help me get him to the couch."

"M'fine," Dave mumbles as he's dragged and placed on the couch.

"Santana, fever kit," Nora orders as she points to Dave's shoes. She begins to take off his jacket before saying to Blaine "grab an ice pack from the freezer. They're green."

Santana falls to Dave's side and pulls out the thermometer, wiping it with an alcohol swab before handing it to Nora. It's a tense two minutes, but when it beeps, Nora's eyebrows shoot to her hairline.

"104.6. This isn't good."

"He has looked a little ragged today, but I thought it was stress from the cold or douchey reactions to his coming out," Santana says as Dave absently lolls his head.

"Guys, what's..." Noah begins to ask from the front door as he sees Dave on the couch. "Shit! I'll get your keys!" he yelps as he grabs the keys to the minivan and pockets them.

"Let's take him to Ottawa Valley," Nora says. "It's a little further away, but the waits are shorter."

Santana snags the keys from Noah. "You know I'm the better driver."

"C'mon you lug," Blaine says as he manages to stand Dave up by himself, "time to see the doctor."

"Doc... sucks... pills..." Dave says in a very garbled manner.

The door opens and Sarah sees what's happening, sighs, slumps her shoulders, and holds the door open. "I'm sure my mom won't mind me staying the night I said..." she closes the door after the group exits. "But no..! 'Young women should get their beauty sleep' Mr. Collins said..." as she locks the door and jumps in the middle row of seats. "Are there any _straight _guys left in this hick-town?"

(_)

The mood in the choir room is a little somber after yesterdays' performance, and Tina just broke down singing to Mike. It also hasn't helped that Noah and Dave have not been seen the whole day. It's agreed upon that maybe the song yesterday took it's toll and Noah was just sleeping it off at home. That was before he came walking through the door.

"Sorry guys," he says, voice a little gravelly and sleep-deprived. "Uhh, Dave had to go to the hospital last night." He pauses to usher everyone to be quiet. "He's going to be fine, but he got that bird flu that was going around a few months ago. I guess that happens with new shit," he says as he takes a seat next to Kurt.

"You're okay, right sweets?" Kurt asks as he leans into the tired jock.

"Yeah, I'll be fine babe," he replies and kisses the top of the soprano's head. "I'm just exhausted. I had to deal with me, Blaine, and Mr. K against Mrs. K."

"Not a pleasant experience I'm guessing?" Quinn says while trying to figure out why Santana is ignoring Brittany and glaring at Kurt.

"I have just the thing to take your mind off of that sweets!" Kurt says with a blatantly fake smile and sense of cheer.

Noah notices that Quinn is giving a puzzled look to Santana, who in turn is looking at Kurt with pleading eyes. _What's going on here? Did I miss something important?_

"I'll explain why I sung this afterward," Kurt says as he nods to Brad.

"Kurt, please don't!" Santana pleads, tears forming in her eyes. Her pleas are ignored.

You're so hypnotizing

Could you be the devil?

Could you be an angel?

Your touch magnetizing

Feels like I am floating

Leaves my body glowing

They say, be afraid

You're not like the others

Futuristic lover

Different DNA

They don't understand you

You're from a whole 'nother world

A different dimension

You open my eyes

And I'm ready to go

Lead me into the light

Kiss me, kiss kiss kiss me

Infect me with your love and

Fill me with your poison

Take me, take take take me

Wanna be a victim

Ready for abduction

Boy, you're an alien

Your touch so foreign

It's supernatural

Extraterrestrial

The room has a cold, haunting feel as Kurt continues to sing and dance. While his face looks peaceful and cheery, he's exuding desperation and pain.

You're so supersonic

Wanna feel your powers

Stun me with your lasers

Your kiss is cosmic

Every move is magic

Through his tears Noah manages to see Santana, between Artie and Brittany. Her face is dripping with tears, her nails digging into the other two's arms.

You're from a whole 'nother world

A different dimension

You open my eyes

And I'm ready to go

Lead me into the light

The music comes to an abrupt halt. Everyone sees Noah standing behind Brad, his hands on the accompanist's shoulders. The older man seems to be _very _uncomfortable with the tears falling on the back of his shirt.

"Santana," Noah says as he lets go of Brad, "stand next to Kurt, please." His voice sounds like a man who's broken, empty, and fed up.

Once next to her friend, Noah continues. "I know why you sung that now, so I just want you to be honest, okay?"

"Noah, I...I," Kurt tries to explain, but Santana stops him with an arm on his shoulder.

"I was wrong to not let you know about the bet sooner, and I'm sorry," Noah says as the last of his energy visibly disappears. "Have I proved to you that I love you yet?"

Kurt only nods. Each time his mouth opens nothing comes out, but his tears fall into his open mouth.

"Now, I get the feeling you knew about this and had other plans, no?" Noah continues.

"I'm sorry," Kurt says with a choked voice. "I do love you Noah."

"I know," Noah replies dejectedly. "How long have you known? About why I first asked you out?"

"Dude, this is wrong!" Finn says as he and Sam begin to move to the open area of the room, but stop when they see Noah's tears. They look at each other, then to the couple, and Santana.

"The whole time..." Kurt trails off. "But, there isn't a bet anymore," Kurt says as he looks right into Santana's eyes, causing her to hang her head.

Noah's jaw sets hard as he looks to Santana, her mouth quivering, to Kurt, the love of his life. "San, what's he talking about?"

She walks to him and takes his hands. His expression is one of disgust, but he doesn't make an effort to pull them back. "Dave... Burt... your mom... we asked Dylan for help and..." she trails off, burying herself in his chest.

Noah pushes her away and toward Finn and Sam, then marches up to Kurt. "What were you going to do? Break my heart in front of the whole school? How long did you know about _that?_"

Kurt looks up at the carmel eyes of his first... _everything_, and sees the hurt, the anger, the betrayal. "Only since... when I got the guys to play..." he wraps his arms around Noah, tighter than either teen could know he could. "I _can't _lose you Mon Sauveur!"

"Ce que j'ai fait était mal, je le sais. Mais tu... C'est just diabolique de ne pas me l'avoir dire **AVANT** que je me donne a toi!" comes the angry, dead response from Noah before he storms out, leaving the entire room stunned.

Quinn, Santana, and Finn recover first and try to follow him down the halls, they notice Kurt beginning to fall to the floor. Mercedes, Brittany, and Rachel nod to their counterparts, allowing them to catch the mohawked teen before he gets too far away.

"Puck, please! Stop!" Finn shouts, making the young man slow to a casual walk. "Look, I'm not really mad about the bet," he says as he places his hands on Noah's shoulders. "But I **am **pissed off about you just walking-"

"Don't," the tanned jock whispers. "You didn't even give me a chance to explain last year with Baby-Gate, so... I **don't **want to hear _you _talk about this."

"Puck, we just couldn't find a way to tell-" Santana tries to say before being cut off herself.

"Why are you running this time?" Quinn asks as she pulls Finn's hands off of Noah.

"I just... I _can't _be here now," he whispers, his voice breaking. "The last thing I _had_, the last thing I **loved**_**, **_and..." he trails off as he breaks through the trio and sprints toward the double-doors leading to the football field.

"Noah, **wait**!" Quinn screams as they begin to chase him down the hallway. They stop when they see Coach Sylvester coming from the opposite direction.

"What's the rush Milf-Mo-" She tries to ask before being shoved into a locker. The trio trying to follow him rush to see if she's okay, and forget about Noah long enough to hear the doors on the opposite side of the hallway open and close.

"Are you okay Coach?" Santana asks as Quinn checks for injuries.

"That hurts like hell!" she replies as she takes Finn's offered hands to stand back up. "Does it always hurt like this?" Upon the three concurrent nods she frowns. "Well, I won't be doing that anymore. What got up Puckerman's thong?"

"Long story short Coach," Santana begins, "He started dating Kurt because of a bet, Kurt knew and was playing him, some of us bribed the bet off, and they just told each other."

"In Glee, in song," Quinn adds.

"I guess this is why all you teachers still call us kids, huh?" Finn asks rhetorically.

"That would be why Frankenteen," the lithe blonde replies. "How's Porcelain?"

"Likely falling apart..." Quinn trails before dashing back to the choir room, the other three following her lead.

The sight awaiting them is heart-wrenching: Kurt's on the floor, being held by Mercedes and Brittany while Rachel holds his hands and wipes the tears off of his face. The others are in various stages of depression and shock, holding each other in random combinations.

"Finn, get his keys and give me yours," Quinn whispers. "He needs to be at home now, not here." Once she has his keys she walks to Rachel and kneels next to her, dangling her own keys. "Rachel, can you bring my car to Kurt's? I'm going with Sam in Finn's truck."

"You're... trusting me with your car?" Rachel asks, not taking her eyes off of her friend.

"I am," the built blonde replies. "One of us needs to end this thing between us, and I'm willing to start." She pats the diva on the shoulder when she takes the keys being offered.

"Here I'll get-" Finn begins but is stopped when he sees Brittany effortlessly lift Kurt into her arms. "Okay..."

"He's a little lighter than Artie," she says. "But I'm not putting him in a stroller. I don't think Mercedes would like that. And it would ruin his pants."

Everyone begins to file out, but Santana's yanked back to the chairs by Coach Sylvester, who's sporting a **very **displeased look.

"You're going to tell me _everything_ and not leave _anything _out, got it Sandbags?" Mr. Schue just sighs and sits next to the latina...

(_)

_What was I thinking? _Noah muses as he checks his duffel. _He's too good for me. Besides, I'm already a father – what if he just _said _he wanted kids to keep me around? No, that isn't it. He probably already has a list of surrogates _and _donors._

He sees that he has four complete sets of clothes, his almost-obsolete laptop, his guitar, fake ID, cans of food, and disguise. He triple-checks the family computer to make sure there aren't any traces of what he's done in the last few days, and sighs.

_Okay, so hide the truck, pick up a cheapie phone... _"Damn this fake beard itches like fuck!" He takes a few minutes to take that part of his disguise off, wash his face with the cold cream Kurt got for him, and tries to reapply the adhesive. _That what the problem was – I used glue. Where's that spirit gum? _Once he finds it he re-dons the appliance, and nods to his reflection. _So I don't know what I'm doing... I'll figure that out on the way there..._

(_)

"Why shouldn't I kick that son of a bitch's ass?" Burt screams as he slams the fridge door. "My **son**, your _brother_, is downstairs... like a **zombie!**"

"Burt, you're forgetting that Kurt _knew _about what was happening," Carole says as she takes the beer from his hand and opens it.

"What's with you kids these days?" Burt asks as he takes a long draw from his beer. "Can't you just hook-up? Or put Icy-Hot in each other's shorts? You gotta do this sh-"

"Honey, try to calm down," Carole says as she places a hand on his shoulder.

"Dude, Burt, no one knew other than Dave and Santana until, like, two hours ago," Finn says as he plops down and opens his Sprite. "Well, you obviously did."

"What the hell does that mean?" Burt shouts and slams his beer down.

"You ended the bet but didn't tell Kurt **or **Puck!" Finn says as he sighs.

Carole's jaw drops as it appears that a puzzle just un-jumbled for her. "Wait..." as she turns to her new husband. "You didn't _actually _mean to go to Dairy Queen with David, did you?" When Burt's eyes try to examine the floor through the table, she sighs. "Are Finn and I the only ones in this house that _didn't_ have a hand in this?"

Burt rubs the back of his neck and turns his attention to his beautiful wife. "I guess... that I'm just as guilty. I mean, how do you **stop **something like this?"

"The lies are over with, at least," Finn says as he pushes his drink away. "I'm going downstairs to see if I can do anything for Kurt."

"I guess now we see what was true in all those lies.." Carole says as she leans into Burt, crying.

(_)

"He's cried himself to sleep," Rachel says as she lets go of Kurt's hand. "This... I don't know," she says as she shakes her head. "I don't think any _sane _person would write about love like this."

Finn takes Rachel in his arms, letting himself shake a little. _Why can't I just have this again? I feel... I don't know. Whole? _"How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay, I guess. I don't know who's hurting more though, Kurt or Noah."

"I'm on the side of _they're both completely broken_," Mercedes says as she untangles herself from her BFF to join the former couple. "I honestly believe that they're suffering from shattered hearts, not betrayal."

Rachel nods as Finn breaks their embrace to sit next to Kurt. "Hey bro. I know I haven't really been super-out-there supportive, but I'll find a way to fix this." He takes Kurt's right hand and adds "I know you both love each other, and you'll find a way to put this behind _both _of you."

"What are you planning on doing?" Rachel asks as she wraps her arms around herself.

"You heard Santana: we need to find Dylan before Puck does," Finn says as he begins to dig around his brother's room.

"Wait, why do we need to find him first?" Mercedes asks as she cleans behind the gangly teen's path.

"Because if Puck finds him first, they'll kill each other."

(_)

"I'll keep an eye out, but I likely won't be paying much attention," Blaine says into his phone while still trying to stir the chicken soup he's making. "I'll do my best Tina, thank you for telling me."

"Who was that?" Mrs. Karofsky asks as she cautiously enters the kitchen.

"One of the glee club members, Tina," he replies as he points to the sea salt grinder. "The house of cards that was the beginning of Puck and Kurt's relationship collapsed," he says as he takes the grinder and sighs.

"How bad is it?" she asks as she tries to double-check his cooking without being obvious.

"Well, Kurt's in a crying-induced slumber, Santana's hysterical, and Puck just disappeared after shoving the cheerleading coach into the lockers."

"Is that how you're going to leave my son, flaringly dramatic?" she asks, not hiding her disdain.

Blaine sets the grinder and spoon down, takes a deep breath, and stoically takes a seat across from the older woman. "I was going to sing a song to Dave to tell him how I felt, but that doesn't appear to be happening in time." He stills the slight shaking that has taken him over before continuing. "I... _love,_ David. Why do you think I've practically moved in?"

She openly scoffs while shaking her head. "You abominations **can't **love! You just-" Her rant is cut off as a scream is heard from upstairs. The scratching of a chair on the tile and the thudding of feet pounding stairs are almost concurrent before the woman can even stand.

As she climbs the stairs she can hear a voice, calming, pained. Once past the last stair she can make the voice out.

"Davy-bear, it's okay, you're home, and I'm here," Blaine croons. "You're going to be alright," he continues as he rocks the large teen, pressing a cool rag to his forehead. "I'm not leaving until you're better." Blaine looks up and glares at the woman who calls herself David's mother.

She sees the love shown toward her son, the care and tenderness. She knows she's crying, but makes no attempt to acknowledge it. She can see the pain Blaine's eyes, _my son's boyfriend._ "I'm... going to keep an eye on your soup, Blaine. Do you need anything?"

Without missing a beat, but understanding the milestone reached, he replies, "some new, cooler compresses. Please Mrs. Karofsky?"

She nods and exits the room, lost in the inner conflict between what she just saw and everything she's ever been taught. _The church has always told me that they _can't _love, but I just _saw _it. He didn't even take off the apron. The Church _can't _be wrong though... But I just saw them _being _wrong... _She doesn't even realize she had grabbed the cool rags Blaine asked for until she's handing them to the teen.

"Thank you Mrs. Karofsky," he replies as he discards the one he was using and replaces it.

"You're welcome Blaine," she says, softly. "Umm, If you'd like... You could stay up here? Rather than on the couch?"

Blaine blinks several times as he ensures he heard correctly. "Thank you."

She smiles and nods her head, turns around to leave, but turns around again. "You can call me Marge, if you'd like?"

"I think... that I'd like that, Marge," Blaine says, his voice questioning on the last word.

(_)

"Yeah we just found it," Santana says as she paces her room. "Sneaky bastard hid it in that little space beside the garage... yeah, _that _space! … I know, right? … Wait, that hot red-head? You _really _think... Merde! … I don't know, Zizes hasn't had any luck."

"Aren't her feet tired?" Artie asks as Santana talks to Carole and Nora on the phone.

"She can stay on her feet for a long time honey," Brittany replies as she snuggles into her boyfriend on the bed.

"She's making _me _nervous," he says as he begins to absently rub the former cheerleader's back.

"Okay, I'll call _if _I find out more," Santana sighs as she ends the call. "Well this sucks! His truck's here, his guitar isn't anywhere to be found, and his laptop's gone too."

"Where do you think he went sweetheart?" Brittany asks as she motions for the darker-skinned girl to lay down with her.

"If I were him, and I'm basically the female version of Puck, I'd be making my way that's anywhere _but _here," she says as she lays down and tucks herself in on the other side of Artie.

"And here we were wondering how to tell everyone about us," Artie says as he places a kiss to Santana's cheek.

"Well this buys us time, right?" Brittany asks as she kisses Artie and takes her girlfriend's hand. "I mean I know you two aren't ready."

"This is just something new, that's all Britts," Santana says as she places a kiss to Brittany's hand. "It's not exactly normal."

"I think my dad might just die from joy that I have _two _smokin' hot girls instead of just one."

The three fall asleep a few minutes later, the girls with their heads on Artie's chest, hands linked, his arms around both of them.

(_)

"... Blaine..?" Dave chokes out. "Blaine, I'm hot..."

The smaller teen rouses from his dream of playing the Phantom to realize he fell asleep with his large, charming boyfriend in his lap. He tries to blink the sleep away before responding.

"Your fever's breaking honey."

"How long?" the jock asks hoarsely.

"Three days, two spent here at home."

"My mom..." Dave asks, an edge of fear tinting it.

"I think... that she's slowly coming around," Blaine reassures as he wraps his arms around the ill young man. "I'm here, in your bed, right?"

Dave looks around but can't focus his eyes enough to make anything out clearly. "I guess." He looks up into Blaine's hazel eyes and sighs. He sees a lot of concern and drops his head. "Okay, what's been going on since I got sick?"

The Warbler sighs and squeezes Dave before answering. "Kurt told Puck everything. The bet, his going along with it, what you and Santana did."

"Wha?"

"And Puck ran away. No one's seen him since yesterday." As if on cue, Blaine's phone begins to vibrate. "It's Kurt."

Dave nods and wraps his arms around the one Blaine leaves to answer the call and whispers _put it on speaker._

"Hey Kurt. You holding up okay?"

"_Actually, it's Finn. Uh... how's Dave?_"

"I'm okay, kinda," Dave replies. "Kurt's not going to like you using his phone."

"_About that,_" Finn continues with a determined tone, "_your friend, the one that brought in Blaine after the game? I need to call him._"

"Dylan? What can he do to help?" Blaine asks as he gazes at his boyfriend.

"_Well, he came up with a plan to end the bet, but he just left it there. And I want to warn him to watch out for Puck. He might try to kick his ass._"

"Not likely," Dave replies dryly. "Dylan does marathon matches for Fight Club."

"_Still, I just want to talk to him. Please Dave?_"

"Fine, but I'm texting it to _your _phone Finn," Dave replies as he looks up to Blaine, asking for his phone.

"_Thanks! I'm glad you're feeling better. We were worried._"

"I hope this doesn't start a new problem," Blaine replies as he hands over the iPhone. "None of us really have a good track record."

"_Okay, thanks guys. Bye!_"

"That was a bit rude," Blaine says as he sets his phone down.

"Finn doesn't mean it, he just doesn't always think things through."

"Which would explain why he and Puck are such good friends," Blaine finishes as he presses a kiss to Dave's forehead. "Let's get back to sleep honey."

(_)

_ This is not going to go over well, _Finn thinks as he finally dials the number. _An hour... I'm getting better at this._

_ "It's 4:30 & I'm busy this week. Which one are you?"_

"Look, I'm sorry Dylan, but I, we, really need your help," Finn asks as he silently opens and closes the sliding door to the back porch.

_ "Ahh, Finn. Am I the modern, gay 'Miracle Worker?'"_

"Umm, we all know about the bet."

_ "What bet?"_

"Let's just cut the bullshit, okay?" Finn says with an edge of hatred. "Kurt's broken, Puck ran off, and everyone's just freaking the fuck out!"

"_And this is my fault then_?" Dylan replies coolly. "_They asked to end the bet, not how to let them know about it_."

"Fine," Finn grinds out. "How do we fix this then?"

"_What's this 'we' Kimosabe_?" Dylan jokes, sounding like he's smoking or something. "_Just a guess that Kurt thinks it's his fault despite trying to show it doesn't matter to him_?"

"Yeah, basically."

"_What about Puck? Was he pissed or broken_?"

"You ever see someone freeze something with that liquid stuff and drop it?"

"_That's bad. It's up to Puck to totally fix this then_."

"Then we're fucked!" Finn shouts. "We can't find him."

"_No leads on where he'd go_?" Dylan asks casually.

"How the fuck can you be so calm?" Finn shouts, honestly not understanding how he can't see how bad this is.

"_At the moment, I can't do anything_," Dylan replies. "_When someone finds Puck, then we can start. You just need to let Kurt talk, but reassure him that this isn't his fault. Just tell him his approach was wrong_."

"How do you know this stuff?" Finn asks, amazed at the sagely advice.

"_Let's just say I'm pretty sure I've burned through all of my bad karma for the rest of my soul's existence_."

(_)

_ What the fuck? Columbus? And I'm just now figuring this out? Puck thinks as he takes a seat and opens a can of chilli. Tastes like shit anyway, but it's worse cold._

He sets the can aside and checks his new phone. He's about to open the map when he finally takes in where he is. _Finally, some good luck! _He's outside a trucking yard in the industrial outskirts of the city. _So, find a trucker that _will _take no for an answer._ He picks the can back up and forces it's contents down as best as he can without puking. He makes a quick scan of the yard and stops, eyes frozen to one driver.

_Other than being a little taller, a little heavier, and lighter orangy hair with grey, that's him! Holy shit? _Noah knows that he can't know where his target is, but this also means that it's going to be harder to use him for his wheels. He takes the risk and begins to approach the behemoth of a man.

"Hey, going my way?" Noah asks as he tugs on the bill of his cap.

"Depends," the man replies gruffly. "Mansfield?"

Noah raises his eyebrows before responding. "That's where I was _supposed _to be now. That's fine, almost to Akron there."

The orange-haired man looks Noah over, not in a cruising way, but still assessing. "I think it's best you come with me. Just know that I'm heading out to Fort Wayne after Mansfield."

"That's fine dude," Noah replies as he notices the man's features softening.

"I have another half hour before I can pull out. You good?"

"Actually I can use a bathroom trip," Noah replies as he tries not to scratch his 'beard.'

The guy tosses him a key and nods. "Don't lose it. They charge us to get another one."

After nodding he rushes off to the bathroom and storms in. He's surprised to see two shower stalls in addition to the triple sink and toiletry dispenser. _Dude sounds just like him too..._

He pulls off the itchy wig and beard, strips, and begins a quick shower. He remembers the air dryer and brings in the two smelly parts of his 'Berry' persona in. _Two days is a long time when you're walking. In the wrong direction!_

Once clean and dried he scouts the area and, finding he's still alone, re-donns his disguise. _Ten minutes left... How do I hide the callerID? _Oncehe figures it out decides to make a quick call.

"_Who's this_?" a familiar voice asks.

"Babe, I still love you. I just, I need some time to deal. Y'know?"

"_Noah? Where are you? I-_"

"I'm not ready, not yet. I swear I'll come home soon, okay?"

"_I love you. Isn't that enough sweets?_"

Noah allows a few tears to fall before responding. "It is... Just, give me a couple more days?"

"_And then I can have my savior back?_"

"Yes, of course. Je t'aime Kurt."

"_Noé, Je t'aime aussi._"

"Jusque-là ..." as Noah ends the call. He wipes his tears, packs his duffle, and leaves. He sees his ride and jogs over.

The guy holds one hand out and points to his ear with the other, which is holding a clipboard. Noah forks over the key and nods to the cab. After getting a nods he jumps in and stows his two items.

When the guy hops in he's still on the phone, speaking Japanese. Noah decides to just space out and does a good job for about half an hour. He's pulled from his thoughts when his arm is lightly shaken.

"So, you gonna stop and see the club in Mansfield?" the trucker asks.

"Club? What club?" Noah asks.

"C'mon, I know you've at least fought once," the man jibes. "I used to myself until the ball-and-chain put a stop to it."

"Wifey didn't likey?" Noah teases before realizing how offensive it must have sounded.

The man chuckles at the horrified look on the teens face. "Nah, the _wife_ didn't really care, but my _husband_ hates boxing."

Noah suppresses his surprise and nods. "So, late in life discovery?" he asks.

The man shakes his head as he pulls onto the interstate. "My parents forced me to ignore it, sent me to "Camp," and it came out with a vengeance. I lost my first two sons because of it."

"Damn. I lost my daughter because her mom was a bitch and didn't want to see her. My girls' mom, not the... Well, you get it, right?"

"Yeah. I'm Max."

"Puck-Berry. Shit!" Noah says as he blows his cover the first time he talks to someone.

"I kinda knew who you were," Max replies. "You're good."

"Say wha?" Noah asks, eyebrows halfway to his hairline.

"My son, my real one, he fights," the trucker says as he upshifts. "He never does it where I can get there though. It's like he knows and... It's dumb."

Noah takes this in, nodding. _Would I have thought any different if it were me?_

"You ever do anything you can't ever be forgiven for Puck?"

He sighs and slumps into the comfy seat. "Yeah. I found my soulmate but only because I bet I could be the first to fuck him."

"Not as fucked up as what I did," Max answers as he wipes his eyes.

"On Kurt's end, he knew and was trying to play me first. Who's more of an asshole here?"

"Well, you're here, he's.. wherever. What happened to bring you here?"

"He sung to me as a way to prove it didn't matter," Noah sighs. "No one told me the bet got called off months ago."

Max takes a quick look at his passenger, trying to find something he's not quite sure of. "Puck, I'm from Chicago. Did you know that?"

He shifts a little and gazes out of the window. "No."

"You're forgetting that since I lived a lie for so long, I know a lie when I hear it."

"You can let me out now," Noah orders, trying to grab his bag and case. He's pushed back into his seat by the driver and lightly smacked.

"Tell me what you know about my son Puck... NOW!"

* * *

><p>Yes, I'm leaving on a cliffhanger. Yay..?<p>

Ce que j'ai fait était mal, je le sais. Mais tu... C'est just diabolique de ne pas me l'avoir dire **AVANT** que je me donne a toi! _What I did was wrong, I know that. But you... it was just plain evil, to not let me know this BEFORE I gave myself to you!_

I have snake feeding today, and it didn't go smoothly last time, so... If it goes well I can get back to my plan to have at least one chapter on reserve so you aren't left hanging more than a week for the next installment.

I'll leave you with a little warning for the next chapter: It will be utter chaos! And some other elements may seem to be from a favorite author of mine (nubianamy), I've had ideas like this bouncing around since I discovered RM et al were relegating Puck to being a universal puzzle piece. Seriously though, go and read Amy's Donutverse stories from the beginning - It's good and will keep you entertained while I slowly write this one!

And again, thank you to crazysnape for helping with my French.


	9. A Funny Thing Happened On The Way

Now to do this before dinner.

I debated on how to proceed with Puck's adventure, and settled on this. I had two other ideas (hence my mention of Amy last chapter), and this one seemed to work better.

The first song was inspired by the fact that this would be the only way anyone in MY family would allow _Smile _to be sung around their kids.

The other two were simply because the artists who wrote/performed them were singing them. :-P

Warning: I have nicknamed this chapter the "Daddy Issues" chapter. It's important to the rest of the year for Kurt and Puck.

Betaed by jasondragon64, barsceens written with jasondragon64.

Smile, Lily Allen (The Sims 2: Seasons: Electronic Arts)

Pyrimid, Charice (Sims 3: World Adventures: Electronic Arts)

Fugitive, Mark Salling (Pipe Dreams: Fontana, 2010)

* * *

><p><span>A Funny thing Happened on the Way...<span>

_20:52 Saturday 18 May, 2000_

"Dylan, Dave? It's time to turn the TV off," Gina calls from the hallway of the modest three bedroom townhome. She walks into the room and sees the boys asleep on the couch, Dylan holding Dave in his arms. She turns off the TV and DVD player, covers them with a blanket, and quietly moves to the door. See stops when she sees her husband and instantly pales. "Max, what's wrong?"

"I won't let this happen in **MY **house!" he shouts and runs to the two six year olds. "What do you think _you're _doing **boy**?" he screams as he pulls Dylan by the hair off the couch and away from Dave. "You need help boys, but **you**," he seethes as he points to Dave, "don't ever let boys touch you like that. EVER!"

The next two hours are a complete blur for everyone, but after dumping his son at the Saint Peter's Rehabilitation Center in Peoria, Max feels better. Or at least more normal. _It worked for me. I have my moments of... impurity, but I'm fixed. _He smiles to himself for an hour, until he remembers something happening in Joliet. He exits the 55 and hangs a right onto Jefferson Street, then a left into Woodlawn Park.

As he makes his way he can hear familiar voices, but that isn't what gets his attention. It's a tall-ish Asian guy, about his age, and beach-built (from the limited lighting anyway). The guy seems to be a gad-fly, and once Max gets his attention, the men make a bee-line to each other. Most of the bouts that night are ignored as they talk and seem to form an instant bond. They continue to talk even to the parking lot. They were so engrossed with each other they hadn't even noticed everyone else had left.

"Shit, there goes my ride," the Asian says with a masculine Mid-Western accent as he sees the Daewoo as the only vehicle left. "Can you run me to Lois Place?"

"I guess. The wife and I had a fight and I don't want to head back yet," Max replies as he internally chides himself for looking at the tight-fitting wranglers on his new friend Kenji.

Seeing this, he smirks. "Y'know, since we're the only ones left..." he trails as he sees a new outline forming in the married man's pants. He grabs it and rubs, _hard._

"Kenji, I'm married!" he whimpers out, fighting against the flood of thoughts in his head, feelings his body was _conditioned _to _**deny**_. He can only whimper and pant as he's dragged back into the forest.

Kenji stops several minutes later and pushes Max against a tree. There's no tenderness or patience in the kiss he shoves on Max's lips, just pure lust. Despite what's being shouted in his head Max begins to greedily kiss back. He's so lost in himself he doesn't even notice that he's been turned around or his ass exposed to the crisp air. He tenses only slightly at the warm, wet protrusion pressing against his hole.

"Not your first time is it Max?" Kenji whispers before shoving forward and clasping his hand over the pale-skinned hulk's mouth. He can feel the resistance around his above-average member and the attempts to shout past his hand, but he keeps thrusting. After just a few short minutes they both reach their climax.

"I shouldn't like that," Max says as he takes the offered handkerchief and cleans himself off.

"But you did?" Kenji asks as he wipes off his member and pulls his jeans back up.

Through his tears Max manages to answer with a "yes" before pulling his pants back up.

"Let me guess: closet-case?"

"Not exactly. I'm..."

"Ahh, religious family huh? That's cool. Can you still take me home?"

"Umm, sure, I guess."

(_)

_Halloween 2001_

"Yeah, you like that? My Irish meat up your hole?" Max screams as he increases the intensity of his thrusts.

Kenji's response is muffled by the ball gag in his mouth, but his nods are a clear sign of his enjoying of what's being done to him. A few more thrusts and he fires his seed all over the glass table he's bent above.

"Fill-up in your hole!" Max croons out his release right against Kenji's ear, enjoying their now-familiar dance.

The men clean up and shower, then fall into another familiar embrace on the couch.

"How're the kids?" Kenji asks as Max wraps his arms around him.

"They're okay."

"And Gina?"

"Can we not talk about my family Kenj?" Max says before sighing. "Sorry, just..."

Kenji unwinds the hands surrounding him and kisses the palm of his lover's left hand. "You fell into the trap of family traditions. Trust me, it happens."

"I still can't believe you're doing this with me," Max says, placing a kiss to Kenji's head. "Even after I told you what I did to Dylan."

"To be fair you told me _after _you brought him back."

"I just can't..."

"You're still messed up, I get it," the toned Asian replies. "But you need to at least tell _Gina _about... well, us."

"I'm still trying to figure out how..."

"You should do it soon," Kenji replies. "She's going to start putting pieces together. It _has _been almost a year and a half..."

(_)

_Sunday 19 April, 2003 – 13 hours after Dylan beats Dave_

"Mister Logan, are you awake?"

_Mister? That's my pa you jackass. Why do my wrists itch? _He tries to move them to rub his eyes, but they stop, as if they're chained to something.

"Mister Logan, you are handcuffed to your siderails. Do you remember what happened yesterday afternoon?"

"My sons had their ninth birthday, why?" Max asks, wondering why his bed suddenly had rails on the sides.

"Which ended when your son began to assault young Mister Karofsky, _with your assistance_ I might add."

"No, I tried to break them up," Max responds, finally getting a clear view of a man wearing a business suit.

"Your shoe-print matches the one which caused the other boy to have a cracked rib and a perforated lung."

"Where's Dylan? Where're my sons?" Max asks frantically, the memories coming back with horrid detail. _I didn't hit David! I'd never betray my kids like that!_

"He's in a juvenile mental ward," the man says while opening a binder he pulled from his briefcase. "He seems to have absolutely **no **memory of anything between June 2nd 2000 and waking up in the hospital."

"Wait, what?" _June 2nd? Saint Peter's?_

"Speaking of no memory, how did he get the scar under his right kidney?" The man asks with an accusing tone.

"He was playing with Dave and had an accident. It happens with active kids!" he answers, his eyes wide with the accusation leveled against him.

"And who's Kenji Yotsuki?"

_No. Please, GOD, __**NO! **__Not like this. _"I don't know anyone with that name."

"Funny, you spend more than eleven hours a month talking to him, and have spent every Saturday at his house since June of 2000," the man replies as he grabs a paper from the folder and holds it up. "This is an agreement with the _State _Attorney General. You won't serve any time incarcerated, and more importantly, the current charges against you will **not **be filed, _**IF **_you leave Illinois and never return. If your job requires you to travel here you may, but only for 48 hours."

"If I refuse?" Max asks, tears streaming down his face.

"You face two felony counts of child abuse, three misdemeanor counts of battery, and one count of ignoring the orders of law enforcement – which the bullet wounds you have support," the man answers with no emotion at all. "Minimum sentence: 17 years with parole in nine."

"My wife..."

"She has left to stay with family and has filed for an expedited divorce due to fraud. She has also requested that her parental rights be terminated with the claim of spousal rape by deception."

"**RAPE?** Are you serious?" Max yells with an indignant edge.

"Her religion forbids any contact with a homosexual, and views sex with homosexuals to be an unforgivable Sin."

_I should have known something was wrong when she wouldn't let me go with her to see her family in Kfar Aabida. _"And what about Dylan? Where does he go?"

"Your parental rights are to be terminated as well. He's being processed through Foster Care as we speak."

"So I have no choices then," Max replies, defeated.

"Only about getting out of this without being a criminal."

"How soon do I have to leave?" Max asks, devastated.

"No more than ten days after it is medically advisable for you to do so. Your soon to be ex-wife has already left what she and her family believe you should keep and packed it."

With nothing left to hold on to, his wife, his son, David... Max signs the contract, and gives up what little he has left... "May I make a phone call?"

"Ga fuyō, ressha taiha," replies a familiar voice...

(_)

_Sunset Tuesday 9 January, 2007_

"Kore Kira o okona~tsu itadaki, arigatōgozaimasu.," Max says as he holds his newborn son, crying. "You have no idea how much this means to us."

"Sore wa mondaide wa nakatta," she replies as she takes in the couple. "You miss being a father, don't you?"

"I do."

"And you're going to do it right this time, right?" Kenji prods cautiously.

"Of course," Max replies, cooing over his new son. "I'm never going to be anything other than a perfect father to you."

(_)

_23:57 Friday 23 October, 2009_

"So, wait? If you hate boxing, why was _I _dragged here by _you_?" Max asks as they make their way into the abandoned bomb shelter.

"I think you need to see this," Kenji replies as he squares his shoulders. "And, please? Don't say or do _anything_!"

"Geeze, I won't!" Max whines as he throws an arm around his husband from behind. "So, why'd you marry me anyway?"

"Other than you're the hottest thing in the country, and begged for it?" the slimmer man jokes, placing a kiss to the hand.

"What if I get horribly disfigured? Like, I go to check my engine and the radiator explodes? Or... I check the tires on a trailer and they burst, sending the steel walls across my fine, chiseled jaws and cheeks?"

"Then I pull a Newt Gingrich and divorce you while Oscar plows me through the signing."

Max wants to be pissed, but he sees the playfulness on Kenji's face and in his eyes and just chuckles. "I'll remember that."

Kenji stops and nudges his husband. "That's what I wanted you to see. Don't make a sound or move."

Max looks past the crowd to the empty space. It's a standard group of enthusiasts, some built for fighting, many just for watching. He can't make out the shorter guy coming into the expanse, but the taller, bigger guy is about six-four, 235 pounds. There's no body hair but there are plenty of scars on the pale skin.

Kenji barely gets his hand up in time to squelch the primal scream that escapes from Max's mouth. They see a heavily-built red-head with very visible chest hair. His features are as soft as Max's are hard, standing at six-one, 200 pounds. "Yes Kokoro shin'ai, it's Dylan, and the odds favor _him _in this fight_..._" The slimmer Japanese-American spends the entire bout trying to keep his husband from annihilating the taller combatant. Dylan takes care of that within three minutes...

(_)

_18:22 Friday 18 February, 2011 – Third day of Noah's running off (present)_

"So... why'd you kick Dave?" Noah asks as he pulls his bag and guitar case from the back.

"I **didn't** kick him!" Max says as he marks items off of his clipboard. "I don't know what happened, but I didn't hit him."

"Right, and my old man **didn't **try to rape me when he saw me trying to keep Finn from freaking the fuck out," Noah says as he sets his stuff down and lowers the trailer stand like he does it everyday.

"I don't know how I didn't see him getting that cracked rib, but I didn't," Max says to Noah before mouthing 'stay quiet.' He goes and talks to the dock manager before coming back with a new set of keys.

"Okay, so say I believe you. What does it change?" Noah asks as he slings the duffel over his shoulder.

"That I'm an asshole, but not a fucking child beater for starters," Max spits out as he checks the time. "Okay, it's 6:35, and I need to be back about 9:30." Max sees the look Noah's giving him and stops. "What?"

Noah jogs up to him and leans in so no one can hear their continuing conversation. "Dude, you follow the family tradition of sending your sons to be brainwashed until they're straight, then you sign away your rights, and now you want to play 20-questions with your _gay _son? Who, by the way, looks _**exactly **_like you."

The older man stops and slowly shuffles his feet. "I know. I manged to see him once when Kenji took me to fight club. He's my _**son**__,_kid. You didn't get a chance to fuck things up with Beth." He tears up and doesn't try to hide it. "I want... _need, _him... to either tell me to stay the fuck out of his life or that I might be able to earn forgiveness."

Noah looks down for a few seconds and sniffles. Then he looks the taller, larger man in the eyes. "Fine. But if he tries to kick your ass or kill you, I won't stop him."

"Deal. Let's go," Max says as he opens the small pickup. "It's a twenty minute drive to the bar."

(_)

Kurt once again wakes up alone, but this time didn't cry himself to sleep again. _Second time. Maybe it's because I've accepted that it's my fault?_ He climbs out of Noah's bed and just finger-combs his hair before heading downstairs. _He at least called last night. I don't mind that it was from a blocked number, but where is he?_

He smells portobello mushrooms being grilled and can tell it's Nora doing the cooking. He sees Sarah sitting in front of the coffee table, her textbooks open. He decides to help her rather than keep brooding.

"Hey shrimp," he says with little humor. It's a better attempt than his normal bitchy tone.

"Hey princess," she says back. "You know much about biology?"

"Cell organelles, basic structure, or more complex stuff?" he replies as he tries to read what her assignment was.

"What exactly does the mitochondria do? The book isn't great and I can't use Wikipedia."

"Well, let's see," Kurt says as he tries to pull the information back from four years ago. _This is so much easier with music and Broadway..._

"Okay, it's dubbed the powerhouse of the cell and is needed for several cell functions. Have you guys covered what ATP is?"

"Adenosine triphosphate. It let's cells use glucose and breaks down carbohydrates."

"Right. That can't happen without the mitochondria. An interesting note is that they have their own gene sequence, and it resembles a bacterias' more than mammals or plants," Kurt finishes.

"Okay, how do you know that?" Sarah asks as she scribbles down what the pale-skinned teen has told her.

Kurt shrugs as he pulls himself up to the couch. "I don't remember. It could be from a paper I read from UCSF, or from a video game I played. I get them confused."

Sarah just laughs as she continues her homework. "I HAVE to tell Noah that when he gets back! He'll love you even more!"

Kurt fights back a new round of sniffling and fidgets with his hands for a minute before replying. "He's going to come back, right?"

Sarah sighs and sets her pen down, then climbs and sits next to her brother's boyfriend. "He told you he would, so he will." She lays down with her head in Kurt's lap and closes her eyes for a few minutes before continuing. "He may have lied to _start_ dating you, but he hasn't since. Kurtie, he loves you. He didn't just give you a _piece_ of his heart. He gave you the whole damn thing!"

"Amongst other things," he says under his breath. He's startled when his adopted sister-slash-dame begins to giggle. He simply raises an eyebrow.

"That explains why he's grinning like an idiot after spending the weekend at your place," Nora says with a smile.

This sends Sarah into a bawl of laughter, causing her to fall to the floor. She manages to grab her phone and toss it near Kurt. "Ninja..."

He brings up the album and instantly smiles. Stills of Noah with love in his eyes. Many with genuine ear-to-ear smiles plastered to his face. After about forty pictures a video queues up.

"_C'mon, what were you doing_?" Nora asks.

"_Nothing, now get out_!" Noah says with a half-playful tone.

"_Snoop time_!" Sarah says as she tickles her brother. She manages to grab the box and spills its contents behind the camera. The camera pans to Nora's feet, revealing the GQ version of Bridal magazine, quotes for sizings, and sketches of wedding bands.

"_Holy shit Bubby_!" Sarah shouts as she lets her brother go.

"_Language_!" a stereo yelp sounds.

"_Noah, I don't know what to say..._" Nora replies. The video ends a few seconds later.

"Oops," Sarah says as she takes her phone from a stunned Kurt.

"That was taken on Monday sweetie," Nora says as she sits next to Kurt. "Sweetie?"

"Great, now WE broke him..." Sarah says as she pokes Kurt in the stomach, not getting a reaction.

(_)

"So, in the off chance he's here, you'll just let him kill me?" Max asks.

"Just a little," Noah replies a he takes another step towards the bar. "You ready?"

"As I'm going to get."

Once inside Noah's jaw drops. He looks to Max, who looks totally at home, then back to the interior. _This is nothing like I expected a Hell's Angels bar to be like. It's... normal. Tough, but normal._

"Shit," he hears Max mutter under his breath. There's Dylan, talking with a blonde chick and two guys. The teens' expression instantly changes as Dylan locks eyes with both of them. Dylan says something to the blonde, which she rolls her eyes to, and Dylan points to them and the bar.

Once seated the younger bear mutters 'quiet' while he fills three pint glasses exactly 3/4 full of Guinness, then three shot-glasses with half Jamieson, half Baileys.

"I can't do a Car Bomb tonight," Max says.

"I don't really care Max," Dylan replies as he turns to Noah. "Do you know what to do, _Puck_?" The younger red-head whispers.

Upon the shake Max says "on three, drop the shot bottom-first and chug." Once done Dylan tosses back the leftover shot.

"I was expecting _him_, but what did I do wrong to have _you_ here?" Dylan says as he clears the glassware.

Max hangs his head before trying to look his oldest son in the eyes. "I'm sorry I did to you what your grandmother did to me."

The blonde Dylan was talking to earlier catches the glass he drops, saying "always with the bad timing, huh Max?"

"What are you talking about Max?" Dylan says as he leans against the bar.

Max grabs his phone and fiddles with it, then hands it to Dylan. "That's my husband, Kenji, and later on our son, Elliott."

Dylan looks through the pictures on the phone, appearing more and more upset. He relocks it and slides it back. "Follow me."

He leads them to a table and sets his elbow down. Max scoffs and mirrors his son.

"Dude, really?" Noah says as he leans back. "Childish."

"It's how we Irish settle things, _Berry_!" Max answers. "Who's watcher?"

"I got this," one of the guys Dylan was talking to earlier says. "I never thought I'd see someone bigger than you around here Dyl."

"My husband and I live in Racine," Max replies. "Don't feel bad if you lose to your old man son," he says as their hands are joined. "I've been doing this longer."

"I'm not worried Max," Dylan answers with a smirk. "I've been beating their asses since I moved here."

"Can this week get any more fucked up?" Noah says as the start of the arm wrestling match is called.

Neither Max nor Dylan seem to be putting any effort into the wrestling, and they keep a creepy, intense lock onto each others eyes. After the first minute, Dylan seems to be doing nothing more than sitting, letting his fist move a little to the left or right of center. By contrast, the elder Logan's bicep seems to be quivering just a slight bit. After another minute _High School Musical_ from Disaster Moviecan be heard playing at the table. Without taking his eyes away from Max's Dylan answers his phone.

"Hey, you at my place? … Nah, just stuff. And we're going to have a guest. … No-the other one. … Let me just finish **this**" he proclaims as he slams Max's hand against the table, "and I'm done with that. I'll let you in, but you're cooking us breakfast. … Okay, bye." He stows his phone, pulls out a pack of Mavericks, lights two, then hands one to Max. "It's a tradition of mine."

Max just looks to Dylan, his hand – which he hasn't moved, the cigarette, his hand, and takes the Maverick. "I've never lost."

"And here I thought you were just for show," Noah says as he scoots his chair back a fraction. "You two, this place? Awesome!"

The man who was reffing snags a smoke from Dylan's unstowed pack and asks "who's the DILF?"

"Jim, Max Logan. My father, in case you're blind," Dylan answers. His expression changes to one of alarm as the bar goes quiet, all eyes on their table.

"I must have been _really_ high for a _long_ time not to see **that**!" the blonde from the counter says as she takes a menacing stride to the table.

"Barb, guys? Chill," Dylan says. "Max, Berry, out back. Now," he commands. "You have half an hour."

(_)

When the doorbell rings Kurt instantly jumps up to answer it. He looks through the peep-hole and sighs.

"Ms. Martin, a pleasure to see you," Kurt says, trying to recover.

"I bet you were expecting Noah," she replies. "May I come in?"

"Of course, please," he answers as he welcomes her in.

"Kurtie,who is it?" Sarah asks as she leaves the kitchen.

"It's Ms. Martin, Shrimp," he says as they walk to the dining room table. "But, why are you here?"

"Well, first you didn't fax the time sheet," she says as she opens her attaché case. "But something else came to my attention, and not just Noah running off." Upon seeing the looks on their faces she adds "I stopped by your house first, in case you were... engaged in activity."

While Kurt tries to calm the blush that has his face trolley-car red, Nora speaks up. "What did you come across Joan?"

"Was your car stolen the day Noah was arrested?"

"Yes, but I was at work, Sharon reported the theft. Why is that important?"

"Well, according to statements made by David Karofsky, Mr. Strando, and Azimio Adams, Noah was nowhere near the hospital at that time," Joan continues. "And a recent robbery at the same gas station revealed a second recording of that event. It shows Noah running _into_ the store, not _away_ from it."

"So you finally believe him then?" Sarah chimes in. "Because he never flat-out lies."

"What about how his time in juvie went?" Kurt asks.

"Seriously Kurt?" Nora asks. "You'd honestly tell everyone the truth about being forcibly humbled?"

Kurt simply shakes his head and gestures for the probation agent to continue.

"I am very sorry that you had to go through this, especially because it was unnecessary. But the conviction is being dismissed, the records expunged, and..." she trails as she pulls out an envelope with a county seal. "Reimbursement for his time in custody, as well as for his completed community service."

"This... is unusual," Nora says as she takes the paperwork being handed to her.

"Honestly," Joan says as she repacks the folder, "I've taken a personal interest in this case."

"Why?" Kurt asks as he tries to find **why** this is so significant.

"Simply put, it _is_ personal for me. My younger brother was gay," she says with a sigh. "But he tried to do what was expected of him. When he found out that Carmen was going to out him for getting her pregnant, he..." she takes a sip of the water she had in her case. "He, umm, tied a few weights to himself and jumped in the pool. I... I didn't get there in time."

Nora places a hand on the other woman's arm. "I'm so sorry Joan. May I ask how long ago?"

"Sixteen years ago," she replies, sniffling away a few tears. "Seeing Noah... trying to come out, fearlessly... it gave me hope. That no one else needs to lose a brother, a best friend." She takes the signed papers and sets them in the folder. "And David... I hope that Kurt and Noah's generation is the last one that needs to hide. Or be ashamed."

When the dark-skinned woman stands to leave Kurt throws his arms around her in a strong hug. "Thank you."

She returns the hug, looking at the Puckerman women. "Never forget that it's okay to be yourself, even if people say it isn't." She gives Kurt's arms a brief squeeze before leaving the house.

The two remaining women turn their attention to Kurt, who is now crying. They approach him as he just lets his thoughts out.

"What... What if it were either of you that had to find... Or Quinn or Rachel?" The two women pale at the expression on Kurt's face at his next thought and statement. "What if it was late enough to be Beth..?" he whispers in horror.

"He has _you_ now dummy," Sarah manages to whisper.

Kurt suddenly smiles and sniffs away his remaining tears. "I think, that I know what I have to do..."

(_)

"Dudes, seriously!" Noah yells as his new 'friends' continue their fighting. "You're making Finn AND Rachel look like the fucking Dali Llama!"

"Just a few more minutes Berry," Max says as he ducks under a roundhouse and shoves Dylan to the ground.

"Yeah," Dylan adds as he grabs Max's arm and side-steps a left cross. "This jackass' about to have a heart attack or something."

"Respect your elders you little cuili!" Max shouts as he lands a jab to Dylan's side.

"No parents, remember?" Dylan says as he slides behind Max and elbows the man's right kidney.

"You little shite!" Max yells as he lands a kick to Dylan's chest.

By now their little scuffle's brought out half the bar. The other guy Dylan was talking to earlier stands next to Noah to watch.

"Should we, like, stop them?" Noah asks as he watches in amused embarrassment.

"Nah, they're almost done," he says as he cheers Dylan landing a left hook. "Alan."

"Berry," Noah replies, shaking hands. "Is this normal then?"

"Any given Club night, yeah," Alan replies. "Father/son... That's a first, even for me."

"How can you tell it's almost over?" Noah asks.

"I know Dylan. He's just dicking around."

"Let go you horse's ass!" Dylan tries to shout as Max gets him into a sleeper hold. Dylan's eyes are already starting to bug out of his head.

"Dyl, you toke yet?" Barb cries as she pushes forward. The tears on his face answer her question.

In a barely audible plea, Dylan whispers "please Daddy?"

Max instantly lets go, catching his son before he slides completely to the ground. "What's going on?"

Alan rushes to them and rummages through Dylan's jacket. He pulls two boxes and opens them both. "His first foster brother slammed his head into a metal desk after he came out." He hands the box with packed pot and papers to Noah. "I'm sure you know what to do?" He doesn't wait for a reply as he tosses the other to Barb. "He's had debilitating headaches since. How many drops?"

"Eight," a young, black woman says as she kneels next to the father and son, joint in hand. "Here stud," she says as she tokes and presses her mouth to Dylan's. She does this four more times before Barb returns with a small glass and a bottle of water.

"Son, look at me," Max says, tears falling freely. When the gaze is returned Barb quickly pours the liquid from the glass into the teens' mouth. "Better?"

Dylan nods and tries to sit up. He's helped by his family, Noah included. The disguised teen hands over a lit joint and makes sure at least one good toke is taken before sitting down himself.

"But how though?" Noah asks, shaking the boxes he's putting back into the dark-skinned teens' jacket. "Ohio doesn't have any medical laws."

"Michigan does though," Max answers. "Dylan, I'm _so_ sorry-"

"Didn't know," he replies, "didn't tell."

"How'd you end up with dad that isn't really a douche?" Noah asks.

"Didn't know he wasn't worthless," Dylan replies.

"Well, mine can stay gone," Noah seethes. "Don't need him."

(_)

_Where am I? _Noah asks as he rolls over. He glances at the digital clock on the wall and then out the window. _It's too early for it to be this bright. Wait, where the hell is this?_ He tosses the top sheet off and sees that he's still in his boxers. He then sees a laptop and a phone on the nightstand to his left, both plugged in. He fiddles with the phone, which is in a defender case, and sees that the homescreen image is one of Kurt laughing at something during glee club. _How in the hell? _The laptop is even more confusing. The desktop, the programs, even his passwords are there. He sees a note that was under it and takes a quick read.

Puck,

Damn, your shit was **OLD**! Plus, it could be tracked.

I just assumed that you didn't want anyone to know you were here – Finn _and _Dave called.

No charge. It's a gift from your new brother.

Dylan

_Damn, this guy's something else._ He swears he can smell something cooking, so he cracks open the door to make sure. And right on cue the faint sounds of cooking and... a _female _voice can be heard. He looks around and sees a pair of Yoga pants and a Chinese shirt on the dresser. He changes, grabs his new phone, and makes his way down the unfamiliar hallway and stairs. The sight that greets him from the kitchen doorway stops him cold.

"It's good for kids to be exposed to different languages," Dylan says to the woman who's back is turned. "And I don't see her disliking what I sing or say." As Dylan turns around Noah can see _her,_ in his arms.

_It can't be! That means that... _"Shelby?" Noah says with disbelief.

She turns away from the stove to look at the young man she was not expecting to see again. She gives a genuine smile and nods. "So you two _were _at a bar last night," she playfully says as she points to Dylan's black eye.

"And Fight Club," the red-head says as he slowly walks up to Noah. "I think I did well."

"Yeah, you were..." Noah begins to say as he suddenly becomes nervous. "I honestly didn't think you'd win."

"Puck, this is Beth," Dylan says as he nods to the shorter teen, "my God-daughter, your daughter. Here," he adds as he begins to place the infant into his arms.

"I don't know -" he begins to say, but his arms instantly settle in the correct position. "I, uhh..."

"Noah, it's okay," Shelby says as she turns back to the stove. "It'll all come to you."

"She's definitely a product of her parents. All of them," Dylan says as he shifts through a playlist on the kitchen media player. "Watch this."

Noah knows the song, but the words make no sense. _Well, mostly no sense..._

[Dylan with Shelby providing backup vocals]

Wona bileptou wawawa pua mu u u

Vaiauafu in a gunitu

Wajacawa fuuu? (Wajacawa fuuu?)

Wona bileptou akivanu ava swin

Anavapi nama pawa wiin

Tisamabi sinu twin

Avu nilo kuatuen

Pawipawi paha pumi fuens

A fu nili pae ni tu ni ava uens

Nawa ku vinavu pawapu

Sawayalipa lina mi eni mu

Asopi vasuyi ifi wiyabu u u

(Dylan dances with simple moves around Beth and Noah)

Kofui, isabasi bug fui

Ivawop asmil, livawop asmil

Awuu, staki pua fona wi

patunija asmil akawua in asmil

Wanipa yusuni inasi pima wonda bra (Wonda bra)

Alotuni awi puaka (Awi puaka)

Nawa bi puaka (Nawa bi puaka)

Akuna stilerna, la unachip kuna hip tobel

Sibibep tana bembu hel

Abuakuip tuapbel

(Beth starts to giggle and babble in time to the song, smiling at Noah)

Avu nilo kuatuen

Pawipawi paha pumi fuens

A fu nili pae ni tu ni ava uens

Nawa ku vinavu pawapu

Sawayalipa lina mi eni mu

Asopi vasuyi ifi wiyabu u u

Kofui, isabasi bug fui

Ivawop asmil, livawop asmil

Awuu, staki pua fona wi

Patunija asmil akawua in asmil

La la la...

(Dylan then begins to dance around Shelby, showing their friendship to be nothing more than that)

Kofui, isabasi bug fui

Ivawop asmil, livawop asmil

Awuu, staki pua fona wi

Patunija asmil akawua in asmil

(La la la...)

Kofui, isabasi bug fui

Ivawop asmil, livawop asmil

Awuu, staki pua fona wi

Patunija asmil akawua in asmil

"You were right," Noah says in-between making faces at his daughter. "She does love singing."

"I got stuck here trying to get to New York for Christmas," Shelby says as she begins to dish out breakfast. "And I just want to _thank _you for starting the singing her to sleep ritual," she playfully accuses. "It took me over a week to be able to sing that song."

"Sing what?" Noah says absently, being absorbed with the _perfect _child in his arms.

"Shel, I sung _Au Palais De Verre_ **once**," Dylan cheerily whines. "How'd I know she'd like it so much?"

"You sung it every night we were here," she retorts as she sets the plates out. "It was four days!"

"Plenty of time for you to learn four minutes of French," he shoots back as he pours orange juice and soy milk.

"Don't worry, it's Kosher," Shelby says as she gently takes Beth and sets her in the playpen next to the doorway. "Tofu, soyrizo, egg whites, and soy cheese."

"And garlic," Dylan says. "And to answer the question you have, it's been, what? Nine months?"

"I was leaving VA after adopting Beth," Shelby says as she pre-cuts her breakfast burrito. "And Dylan snuck in to watch rehearsals. He saw that I was a little stressed, so he called some friends in Detroit and..."

"Puck, I've only seen Beth two other times," Dylan continues after swallowing this bite. "I'm honestly the only dude Beth likes. Other than you."

"I'm trying to figure out how you can be so... caught up in our lives," he says as he hesitantly tries a bite, then gives a nod of approval.

"It's a miracle," Dylan says. "It's about time it finally involves someone being pulled into _my _problems for a change."

"How so?" the statuesque woman asks.

"Well, I met my father again," Dylan mumbles as he shoves a large bite in his mouth.

She drops her fork and just stares, wide-eyed, at both teens.

"Can't deny the families ties," Noah says as he picks up speed in his eating.

"Did he give-" she starts.

"No!" comes the stereo reply from both boys. "He did try choking me out before I could medicate though," Dylan states.

"So I guess he found out about you being in foster care then," she says as she glares at Noah. "Noah, if you keep eating like that you'll barf on Beth when you go to pick her up."

He looks up with embarrassment in his eyes, like he was just caught sneaking a steak in a vegan colony. He sheepishly smiles and swallows his food, then tries to hide in his milk glass.

"Puck, it's okay," Dylan placates. "The more you do this the better you get at it."

"How much practice do you have then?" he replies accusingly.

"Not much more than you, but I'm also _very _cautious when it comes to kids."

"Shelby, how long are you going to be here?" Noah asks as he forces himself to slow down his eating of the awesome food she cooked.

"I have to leave at about four, so..." she trails as she looks to the clock. "six hours or so."

"But it's only like, 7:45?" Noah says as he decides to just eat the last of his burrito at once, earning a chuckle from Dylan.

"There's security and baggage checks," Shelby replies as she daintily pops another piece of her breakfast into her mouth.

"And trying to prove that formula is just formula, douches," Dylan adds as he raises his eyebrows. "But that leaves plenty of time for you two to bond. Not that it'll feel like enough, but still..."

"So far I'm impressed Noah," Shelby says as she looks him in the eye, dropping to his empty plate humorously, "and if I stay impressed, I can make arrangements to come by and have Beth spend time with you."

"How about Kurt?" Dylan asks, sighing when he sees Noah grimace.

"Well, I don't know," she says, slumping her shoulders. "I don't have a problem with you being gay Noah, or Kurt. It's just that kids don't tend to be in gay teens plans."

"If you two have each other on Skype, you can do a virtual-family thing, if you'd like?" Dylan suggests as Noah places his dishes in the sink. "And your guitar's in the living room. Play for a few minutes before you pick Beth up."

"You're not my dad!" Noah says as he kneels in front of Beth, memorizing each hair on her fragile head.

"You're right, 'cause I'm never going to treat you like garbage, _brother_," the large teen playfully says.

Once the dishes are put away and Shelby's bags packed and placed in the Hummer, Noah goes to his room and closes the door. He carefully takes his new phone and slowly 'swypes' a message to Kurt to get on Skype. He loads the program on his end and waits for Kurt. He doesn't have to wait long.

"_Noah! How are..._" Kurt stops when he fully sees the scene. "_Hi Beth!_"

"I'm actually pretty great," Noah says. "But I'd be like, a _lot _better if you were here too."

"_I don't know if this is a good idea,_" Kurt replies. "_I had the girls come over to a spa day._"

"So, Quinn's there then?" Noah asks as he makes a face at Beth, making her laugh.

"_Yeah, she is. Hey-" _the lithe teen squeaks as he's pushed out of the way.

"_Puck what do you..._" Quinn tries to say before seeing Beth.

"She has your eyes," Noah croons as he shifts their daughter to get more of her in the camera's sight line.

"_So you're with Shelby?_" Quinn asks as Rachel places a hand on her shoulder.

"Technically no," Noah answers. "I'll tell you when I get back. Late today or sometime tomorrow morning." Noah sees Carole in the background and can _almost _make out a smile of pride.

"_Are you coming back to..._" Kurt begins to ask, but his voice starts to break.

"To you, yes. But... there's a chance I can start to see Beth on a regular basis," the mohawked teen waits for Kurt to fully pay attention. "Do you still want to be with me, be with someone who's a father?"

There's no time in between as Kurt answers with a heart-felt "_Yes! Noah, I just want to be with _you. _That _includes _Beth._" Quinn looks up to Kurt, a smile tipping the corners of her mouth up. She nods and lets Kurt take his position in front of the camera again. "_And hopefully a few more children, so Beth isn't an only child,_" Kurt adds with a slight laugh.

Beth looks to the laptop and tries to reach for Kurt. When she can't quite reach the face looking at her she begins to get a little fussy, but is calmed down with a kiss to the top of her head. "You can see him soon Beth."

"_I am _so _going to spoil you!_" Kurt sings, causing her to look at the screen again.

"Kot!" comes a sound from the infant's mouth as she waves her hands toward the screen, then turns to Noah and tries to clap.

"Kur-t," Noah says, smiling.

"Koot!" she says again, giggling.

"_Noah, she's not quite ten months old yet,_" Kurt says with a matching smile.

"Nono," Beth babbles, leaning toward Noah. Now in father mode, he wraps her in one arm and places a kiss to her cheek.

"We just might be her first words," Noah says with a wide smile.

"_This is a different kind of happiness I'm seeing Noah,_" Kurt says. "_And... I like it._"

"There's a drawback though," he replies. "I'm not going to be as happy when it's just you and me."

"_We'll handle that later._ _Now go spend time with... _our _daughter?_" Kurt asks as he looks to Noah, then Quinn. They both nod approval at the same time.

"I'll call again soon babe."

"_Get a __**lot **__of pictures, okay sweets?_"

"Will do. I'll see you soon." Noah blows a kiss to the screen before ending the session.

Noah shuts down his laptop and heads downstairs with a babbling Beth. They both look at him and start giggling at the smile that's still on his face. Their attention turns to Beth as they look at each other, then back to Noah with knowing smiles.

"Umm, did I miss something?" he asks.

"I'm pretty sure Beth's messing her diaper," Dylan says as he grabs changing supplies from an end table.

"No way dude," Noah smirks. "I'd know..." he trails off as he sees his toe-headed daughter absolutely still. He lightly pats her rear and winces. "Uh, do I have to..."

"You're going to Noah," Shelby says. "You don't expect _Kurt _to be doing all the 'gross' things, do you?"

"But that's not something dudes do," he says as Shelby takes Beth and moves over to the makeshift changing area.

"But if you and Kurt have kids, that's two dudes man," Dylan says as he looks to Shelby for direction.

"Fine, but I still say dudes don't do this," Noah gives in as he's guided through the process.

(_)

Here Lies

Kathrine Elizabeth Hummel

Endeared Wife, Graceful Mother, Beloved Friend

Bestowed to the World August 22, 1970

Departed on May 18, 2000

"It's... been awhile mom," Kurt says as he places the lilacs he was carrying against the headstone. "Umm, I really don't know what to do. See, there's this guy, and we started dating so we could hurt each other, but..." He bites back the crackling that has seeped into his voice before continuing.

"I love him, and I know he loves me. And seeing him with Beth, his daughter... I know, right? It's just... " he stops as tears begin to fall from his eyes. He sniffles for a few minutes as he pulls himself together.

"Mom, he wants to _marry _me! While the, well, bet, was going on. Kind of. In just a year and a half... Mom, I wish you could meet Noah now. He's so... _gentle..._" He places his hands on the headstone, trying to imagine it's the same as when he was little and could run home and hug her, to be surrounded in her arms and know that nothing was going to hurt him.

"I love him, and I know that you'd like him too. Mom? Was I wrong to lead him around, so we didn't have to deal with it? I just... I can't lose him. I... know what love is. He's my Prince." He giggles as he remembers some of the albums his parents listened to when he was little. "Not that one. Westley."

Kurt lets his mind wonder for awhile. The site's quiet, shielded from the sounds of what little noise Lima generates. _You'd accept me, wouldn't you mom? Would you really like Noah though? Yes, I'm actually pretty positive that you would. You'd probably ground me for doing what you did though... But I understand that. Would you accept Beth, even though she isn't mine? _Kurt sighs as he falls asleep. He's awakened when his phone begins to vibrate.

Dad

_Kurt, where are you? The girls are worried sick!_

As Kurt types a reply a call from Noah comes through. He just stares at the screen for a few seconds before answering.

"Noah? Are you on your way back?"

"_I am,_" Noah replies, his smile apparent through the phone. "_We want, well, Dylan and Sunshine want to sing _us _something._"

"Dylan and Sunshine? So you did go there?" Kurt says as he not-so-silently harrumphs. "Finn and Dave said that he hasn't seen you."

"_Because Puck needed to figure things out for himself,_" Dylan says.

"_Besides Kurt, if it were you, would you want someone telling the people you're running from where you were?_" Sunshine asks.

"I guess you're right, but it still hurts," Kurt agrees. "So what are you going to sing to us?"

The other end just giggles for several seconds before answering. "_Well, it's something we had to record for you,_" Sunshine says. "_Not too many people know Simlish._"

"Wait, what?" Kurt asks before he's shushed.

[Sunshine with Dylan doing backup Vocals]

_Shobes_

_Hennyaka lubza stobe_

_...Solitaca growby mobe_

_Inaja maba keribon_

_Witucafuma botta muh_

_Ah neeba ninna dezwah stow_

_Sturby issa wockny hoe_

_Vishinebba momey fro_

_Nawaja waba lepka boe_

[Dylan]

_Blurk kwaycashay luss_

_Sy clo ka bwaybus_

_Hurba kay katayba wayba lubb_

[Sunshine]

_Kyralid_

_Sapilka nonna zala brock_

_Nifilba laka hepla zock_

_Tigepsa appa tock (appa tock nooboo, appa tock gur])_

_Waka Kyralid_

_Yaneva webbawimza boben_

_Winebba faja koopa goben_

_Faribba weeba snay_

_Waka kyralid_

[Sunshine & Dylan]

_Waka kyralid_

_Waka kyralid eh_

_Waka kyralid_

_Waka kyralid yeah_

_Waka kyralid_

_Waka kyralid eh_

[Sunshine]

_Clobe_

_Nebbaippa wayvoo crobe_

_Weena bebba lebba flobe_

_Isona tappa nebba tobe_

_Summanaka mizzaroo_

_Inera stibba tookie roo_

_Loopa fassa tomifoo_

_Ajuradooba paysinoo_

_Wigawa dawa hisparoo_

_Blurk kwaycashay luss_

_Sy clo ka bwaybus_

_Hurba kay katayba wayba lubb_

_Kyralid_

_Sapilka nonna zala brock_

_Nifilba laka hepla zock_

_Tigepsa appa tock (appa tock nooboo, appa tock gur)_

_Waka Kyralid_

_Yaneva webbawimza boben_

_Winebba faja koopa goben_

_Faribba weeba snay_

_Waka kyralid_

[Dylan]

_Waka kyralid gurama sovu_

_Tappa lubby zomuck_

_Tappa gumma gepsoo (oh)_

_Eeba winna soo_

_Awa nebba goo_

_Amabeeza wug takeeba snay (eh)_

_Flo wazza lubb_

_Pekka modana nubb_

_Hodiana wana nana_

_Bida cubba wetta rubb (oh)_

_Mussa Nayshoo (eh) ahdisaskoo_

_Witapa heppa eppa appsoo_

[Dylan as chorus, Sunshine doing Vocalizations]

_Blurk kwaycashay luss_

_Sy clo ka bwaybus_

_Hurba kay katayba wayba lubb_

_Kyralid... kop le gogin_

_Kyralid_

_Sapilka nonna zala brock (zala brock)_

_Nifilba laka hepla zock (Ohhhh woooooh)_

_Tigepsa appa tock_

_Waka Kyralid_

_Sapilka nonna zala brock (zala brock)_

_Nifilba laka hepla zock (Ohhhh woooooh)_

_Tigepsa appa tock_

_Waka Kyralid_

_Yaneva webbawimza boben_

_Winebba faja koopa goben_

_Faribba weeba snay_

_Waka kyralid_

_Waka kyralid_

_Waka kyralid eh_

_Waka kyralid_

_Waka kyralid yeah_

_Waka kyralid_

_Waka kyralid eh_

[Both]

_kyralid_

"Wow, that was..." Kurt begins to say.

"_Incredible?_" Noah replies with a twinge of confusion. "_I hadn't heard the song before. Where do get these songs dude?_"

"_The Sims,_" Dylan replies flatly. "_And that was _your _song guys._"

"Of course. Everyone goes there for their songs," Kurt says sarcastically as he stands up, placing a hand on his mother's headstone. "When can I hold you again sweets?"

"_Soon babe,_" Noah answers, setting the phone back to the handset. "_I'm sorry I had to take off like that._"

"It's totally my fault Noah," Kurt hurriedly says. "I should have told you when we were changing from the game."

"_That's behind us now,_" the lean teen replies. "_Now we have our future to plan._"

Kurt tries to hide his smile behind his other hand but fails. _He can probably _feel _this on his end..._ "I'd like that."

"_I'll see you soon babe. __Je t'aime tout mon cœur._"

"Moi assui. Tu es mon âme." The call ends as Kurt walks to a gazebo, overlooking this part of the cemetery.

(_)

"You sure you don't want us to give you some time alone?" Sunshine asks as they're walking through the cemetery.

"Nah," Noah replies. "I'm not even sure it's a good idea."

"Of course it's a good idea," Dylan replies while looking at his phone. "There it is, the one that looks like it's made of molded marble."

They take a moment of silence when they arrive at their destination. At least Dylan and Sunshine do. Noah notices the freshly lain lilacs and begins to sniffle. Before he can start crying the young Filipina wraps her arms around him.

"He was here," he says. "And this is probably where we sung to him 45 minutes ago!"

Dylan places a hand on both of their shoulders before speaking. "Kurt's likely at home. You'll see him soon, very soon."

Noah relaxes a bit and gives his new friend a quick squeeze. Sunshine breaks her embrace to allow him to open his guitar case. "Mrs. Hummel, I don't know if you remember me, but it's Noah Puckerman. Uh... I know I haven't exactly been _nice _to your son all of the time, but..." he stops as his hands begin to shake.

"Noah, bro, from what you, Finn, Dave, and Burt have told me, she wouldn't judge you until you explain," Dylan says with a very comforting voice.

"How do you tell a mother that you used to torment her son and now you can't even stand to be away from him... _at all?_" Noah yells, losing the battle to stop his tears from falling.

"Just speak from your heart Noah," Sunshine nudges. "You know why you were doing it now, so you can finally put that behind you and be happy."

He wipes his eyes and nose as Sunshine rubs soothingly on his back. Dylan places a brotherly kiss to his mohawk and pats him on the shoulder, then nods.

"I love Kurt, Mrs. H. With every piece of my heart that isn't taken by my daughter... heh, yeah, I'm a father and I'm not even a senior yet... Umm, I kinda wrote this song for us, I guess? Before I realized what I was writing it about... I want you to be the first to hear it." Noah nods to his friends as he readies his guitar. They give him the privacy they had offered earlier.

Are you afraid?

The wind is calling

For the departed to rise from the grave.

They're searching for clues,

There's nothing to find,

When your chalk outline is all that remains.

The date on your tombstone,

The reaping that you've sown

Could've been different,

But people don't change.

Life after death,

So let's both go there together

(Noah begins to cry, but holds his voice steady. He allows all the pain, anguish, fear, flow through the music)

I am not a fugitive,

I just wanted to be free.

From the secrets and the ghosts

That have been chasing after me.

And if you find my cold remains

Will you bury them with you?

In a field far away from the damage that they do.

Damage that they do.

Are you afraid?

The pressure's building,

The ground is the future the past is the ledge.

Crossing the dessert

A desperate measure,

But life will be better.

Isn't that what you said?

He's haunting her still,

She just wanted glory,

But not every story is told on the page.

I know what you did,

You can't say, "nevermind" forever.

I am not a fugitive.

I just wanted to be free.

From the secrets and the ghosts,

That have been chasing after me.

And if you find my cold remains,

Will you bury them with you?

In a field far away from the damage that they do.

Damage that they do.

Noah sits for a minute to recover himself. He can feel that something's changed, but can't quite place it.

"I... I didn't want to become my father, you know? Anything but that..." Noah trails off.

"What's so wrong with me, pussy?"

(_)

"Kurt, I'm not mad that you came here," Burt says as he cradles his son. "But I would have liked to know. These aren't exactly safe places at night."

"Don't tell me you believe in ghosts dad," Kurt says with most of his former humor.

"Ghosts, no," Burt sighs. "Drug addicts, thieves, rapists, yes."

"Okay, so remind me to go Urn shopping then," Kurt replies. "So we can visit you and Carole whenever, and _our _kids can see us whenever."

They stay quietly embracing for a few minutes, but break apart when they hear faint talking. Not enough to hear, but enough to know they're not alone. They look out from their perch on the hill, but see nothing. When they spy the other side they see someone who is undoubtedly Noah, along with an Asian and a red-head.

"Well that's definitely Dylan," Kurt says. "So that must be Sunshine."

Burt's jaw drops at the sight of Dylan, even from their distance. "**That's **Dylan? He's built like a brick shithouse!"

"More like a steel shithouse dad," Kurt replies before thinking. He instantly flushes when he realizes that he just cussed in front of his dad for the first time ever.

Burt finally makes out the jacket and smirks. "Red Wings. He's an official badass."

The Hummel men watch as a small conversation was had. They are a little confused as the other two teens walk off, but see that Noah has his guitar in hand. While Noah sings his heart Kurt begins to run toward the lone teen, his own heart breaking as well. Noah's turned away when the man makes a beeline toward him.

_Same jawline, hair... but this jerk walks like he hasn't been sober, like, _**ever**_! He hasn't seen me, so I'll try to sneak over. This can't go well..._

(_)

"So Danny, what do you want?" Noah seethes as he puts his guitar away.

"You kept the axe. Good to see," the burn-out replies humorously.

"Only thing other than us you left what wasn't shit."

"That's no way to talk to your old man."

"Whatever asshole," Noah spits out. "What. Do. You. Want?"

"Heard a rumor that you turned fag," the older man half-yells. "'Cause I have a problem with that."

"Don't care, never will," Noah replies as he tries to stand. He's shoved back to the ground.

"I didn't shoot no fag-spooge into that whore!" Danny shouts as he kicks his son in the gut, causing him to roll. He looks to the headstone and gazes at it. "Kathy huh? Why you singing that queer song to her?"

"Because we're dating you burn-out!" Kurt yells as he picks up Noah and presses a kiss to his boyfriend's head.

"Ohhohoho, I see," Danny laughs out. "You butt-fucked him while he was asleep. Nice..."

"You talk about my kid, **either **of them, like that again, and I'll remind you why you lost some of those teeth!" Burt growls as he approaches.

"I'm glad that woman's dead," Danny says merrily. "She doesn't have to know that her pansy husband shoots fag-rounds!"

The man falls to the ground as everyone notices that, instantly, Kurt had kicked the bastard in the balls – **hard**. The slender soprano picks up the man's head by the hair and seethes into his ear. "Don't you _**ever**_, talk about my mother **or **father like that again!" He finishes by shoving his head into the dirt, causing him to twitch.

Sunshine sees this scene and gasps, grabbing Dylan's hand and wincing. The red-headed hulk looks at the three men standing, the one on the ground, and settles his gaze on Burt. "Douchebag Puckerman?"

Burt simply nods as he stares at his son, amazed that with that kind of strength he would allow his bullying and torment to continue. "Umm, Kurt?"

"I didn't know I could do that dad... at least I wasn't sure I could..."

"Babe, you can do anything you want," Noah says as he takes Kurt in his arms, kissing the teens neck and jaw.

"Umm, I can take care of this if you want," Dylan says as he gestures to the slightly writhing form of Mr. Puckerman. Upon their dismissive nod Dylan picks up the burn-out and starts walking back to his car. Sunshine simply looks back and shrugs, then rushes to catch up.

"I missed you sooo much baby," Noah says as he finally breaks away enough to look Kurt in the eyes.

"I missed you too," Kurt says as he throws himself back into Noah's embrace. "No more secrets, okay?"

"Please, God! No more secrets!"

"Good, because..." Kurt breaks away and pulls out a piece of paper. "You got my ring size wrong."

* * *

><p>Currently trying to figure out how I want the story to end, which means finding the branches I want to follow to it.<p>

Also, I'd like help from anyone who knows Filipino/Tagalog and Arabic (either is fine). I have some song ideas, and one story branch requires dialogue in Arabic. I have no proficiency in either of those languages (I have limited use of German and Spanish).

Forgot the Translations:

Ga fuyō, ressha taiha. _No need, train-wreck._

Kore Kira o okona~tsu itadaki, arigatōgozaimasu_. Kira, thank you for doing this._

Sore wa mondaide wa nakatta. _It wasn't a problem._

Kokoro shin'ai. _dear heart_

Je t'aime tout mon cœur. _I love you with all my heart._

Moi assui. Tu es mon âme. _Me too. You're my soul._


	10. Drunken Comeback

I have a few apologies to make upfront:

I am sorry that this has been published so late in the day. I try to have my chapters ready to go live by around 8am PDT (1600 GMT). This one was just a pain in the ass because I am still recovering from last week's upset of having to fly solo at work on a weekend, and this week was horrible because I could barely _see _my phone, much less _write _with it on the buses and train. Also, these two weeks for our Gleeks are **really **hard to write about if you're trying to change the events. Also, this one is pretty choppy, which I am **_really_** sorry for, but it was the only way I can find for it to work.

Normal warnings: slash, language, angst.

**NEW WARNING: **One character says the c-word, but it's justified.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise), My Chemical Romance (Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge: Reprise/Eyeball, 2004)

* * *

><p><span>Drunken Comeback<span>

_I don't want to wake up_... Kurt internally whines as he turns off his alarm clock. He rolls slightly to see Noah, in his bed, smiling in his sleep. The events of the last week seem to have done him worlds of good... not to mention another round of tantraic sex. Kurt places a kiss to his future fiancé's forehead, cupping his cheek.

"Noah, sweets, we have to wake up."

"... don't wanna," he mumbles as he takes Kurt in his arms and pulls him against his naked body.

Kurt giggles before trying to untangle himself. "We don't have a choice. We have to graduate high school," he says, the disappointment obvious. "And to do that we actually have to _go_ to our classes."

"...boring, not sexy like you..." Noah mumbles, trying to keep his love in his arms.

"I'll make it worth your while..." Kurt teases, wiggling his ass under the sheets.

"Sleepy..." Noah trails off, almost asleep again.

Kurt manages push Noah to his back and straddles him. He then places his hands on each side of Noah's face and begins to kiss him softly. Noah's lips automatically part, his tongue exploring the very slight stubble around Kurt's lips. As if on cue both teens' become instantly hard, but Kurt has the advantage. He slides down, trailing kisses along the darker teens' neck, the cleft between his pecs, where his treasure trail would be if he wasn't smooth. Kurt doesn't waste any time and simply swallows Noah's entire member, earning a heart-filling groan from his boyfriend.

"Gawd, babe!" Noah exclaims as he instinctively bucks his hips up.

Kurt responds by simply shoving the thrusting hips down and darting his tongue randomly along the shaft, teasing the base of the head intentionally. He bobs his head slightly, but never enough to stimulate the top of Little Noah's head. The minutes pass as Kurt continues this method, earning moans and feeble attempts to thrust back. Kurt only takes his mouth off long enough to spit on his hand to coat himself and Noah's opening with their shared wetness, and slowly slides in.

"Babe... so gooooood..." Noah croons as Kurt fills him up, still sucking and licking. The slow pace is almost annoying, but also incredible. The pale teen slows down even more when he feels the spot, and sets him off. As Noah fills Kurt's mouth, Kurt fills Noah's hole. Before they can even come down from their orgasm the door begins to rattle.

"Guys, you're going to be late! C'mon!" Finn yells through the closed, locked door.

"Jackass," they both mutter under their breaths as they share a quick kiss before finally standing. They look at the clock on their way to the shower and notice that, for some unknown reason, Finn must have been up before them.

"Strange times, huh babe?"

"When is it ever not a strange time sweets?" Kurt playfully replies before pulling Noah into the shower.

(_)

"Wait, are Brittany, Santana, _and_ Artie holding hands?" Mercedes asks as she lands at Puck's locker. The Jewish teen simply shrugs.

"It's good to have you back girl," Kurt says as he gives his best friend a hug.

"I _was_ right though," she says dejectedly. "And wrong at the same time. How can that even happen?"

"Probably the same way every new person we meet somehow has ties to our life already," Puck replies as he closes his locker and takes Kurt in his arms.

"Any idea what Dylan did with your dad?" the paler teen asks.

He just shrugs again and gives a kiss to Kurt's cheek. "As long as he can get away with it, I don't care." He then reaches into his pocket and hands his phone to Mercedes. "Pretty fly, right?"

"Damn!" she yelps. "This is totally off the chain!" she continues as she puts the device through it's paces. She suddenly stops and stares at the two of them.

"What's wrong boo?" Kurt asks.

"Is this, Beth?"

Both boys smile, but Puck's is radiant as he answers. "Yeah. Shelby was at Dylan's and she let me spend the whole day with her."

"Now I thought I'd never see you so..." she trails off.

"Death-inducingly sweet?" Kurt playfully asks.

"Who's too sweet?" Quinn asks as she parts ways with Sam to walk with Mercedes to American History.

"Honey, you better sit down for this," the dark diva replies.

(_)

"Finn, we know that you just want to kiss a lot of girls," Santana snidely replies.

"Actually I think this could be a good thing," Artie replies. "Other than you calling us a charity."

"I don't really care," Dave says as he glances around the room. "Quinn won't take you back, and if she does it'll be because you made her cheat **again**."

"Don't talk about my girl like that dude!" Sam seethes as he tries to burn through the large footballer with his eyes.

"Just sayin'," he says as he folds his arms the same way Santana does.

Just as the two realize this Becky runs in and grabs Mr. Schuester, pulling him toward the hallway. Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell worriedly waves 'hi' to the class before following a panicked Becky and confused Spanish teacher.

(_)

Puck only sees it out of the corner of his eye, so he ignores it the first time. He sees it again and actually looks. _Holy shit! He's __**not**__ doing what I think he's doing_... He goes to the sinks and clears his throat.

"What is it Puck?" The lemon-blond asks as he straightens up. "And thanks for coming back."

"Not a problem. Uh, you're not going all Beiber are you? Because I'm pretty sure he's a cross-dressing Jewel."

"Look, I need money. And Beiber's the big thing now," Sam replies as he tries to slide past Noah.

Noah gently pushes him back to where he was. "Dude, really? Cause that only works with chicks who haven't had a real guy yet and guys like Reyerson."

"Okay, that's disturbing," Sam replies as he recombs his hair.

"Worried about Quinn?" Noah asks as he checks his hair as well. _Maybe I should grow it back? Maybe Kurt knows a better wig place than Mr. Schue..._

"NOYB dude!" Sam shouts back. He tries to glare at the odd-haired teen but stops after seeing the hurt, confused expression. "Sorry man, just... between the celibacy and-"

"It's cool, don't worry," Noah replies. "But have you thought about just asking? Or ask her to take a break if she's not sure about her feelings?"

Sam lets this sink in for a minute, seeing what the flaw in the idea would be. "What if she still loves Finn?"

"Then... I guess ask if she wants another chance with him," Noah replies, slumping his shoulders. "Finn set up his dumb-ass booth, right?"

(_)

"Rachel **stop**!" Kurt and Tina yell at the same time as they run to her.

"Rachel, this is a _**REALLY**_ bad idea," Tina warns as she takes one of the pale diva's hands.

"Tina's right sweetie," Kurt agrees as he gently moves her to a bench. "You know how you feel, but he didn't fully let you into his heart."

"And you can't really fault him after what Quinn and Puck did," Tina adds. The quiet girl then wraps Rachel in her arms and whispers "he loves you. He just doesn't want to admit it yet."

"Or he could just be an idiot," Kurt mutters as he sees the line forming. _What in the KMart Martha Stewart collection did I ever see in him?_

(_)

"So, do you want to risk the cafeteria food or should we go to Mary's Chicken Shack?" Noah asks as he walks with Kurt from his locker.

"I think the cafeteria's going to be fine," Kurt replies. "Besides, it's pizza day..." he begins but trails off. Noah matches where he's staring and lets his jaw drop.

"They didn't?" Noah asks rhetorically, but is about to get his answer. Quinn's making a bee-line toward them.

"Thanks Puck," she spits out. "Now I have to kiss Finn!"

"Wait, who's making you kiss him?" Kurt asks as he tries to place a hand on her shoulder. She knocks it off.

"Sam just asked if I still have feelings for Finn... and I'm not sure," the blond replies as she slumps against her locker.

"Well, you must still feel something," Noah answers as he places a hand on her shoulder, which she doesn't swat away. "You were going to choose him over me no matter what last year."

"I have fallen so far in love with Sam... but, what if he isn't the one?"

"You could just spend the buck and kiss Finn," Kurt says as he looks on nervously. "It sounds more like Sam's fed up with not knowing than having you dump him."

"I don't know guys," Quinn says as she sighs. "What if, I still love Finn?"

"Quinn, I still love you," Noah says, surprising both teens. "But a respectful kind. It's nothing like the way I love Kurt."

Blushing with pride, embarrassment, and knowing, Kurt takes Noah in his arms and places a kiss to the mohawked teen's neck. "So you never wanted to marry her then?"

Quinn's expression suddenly changes to one of confusion and discomfort. "Umm, I think I'll leave you two to plan your week. Thank you for your help." Both young men just stare at her before gazing into each other's eyes.

"Babe, that was kinda uncalled for."

"So, you don't want to marry me either?"

"Never said that mon cœur," Noah replies. "Just, I think we should wait until everyone else's drama settles down a bit before telling them that plan."

"Is Sarah still bribing you for forgiveness for spilling the beans?"

"She cleaned my room."

Kurt stumbles for a second before muttering holy shit under his breath.

(_)

"So, thanks for letting me have the floor," Sam says as he absently checks his hair. "This is a week for anthems, and there isn't any more of a-"

"Dude, I told you no Beiber," Noah says as he looks to Finn, Quinn, and Rachel. "He's not anthem worthy."

"I have to agree with Mister Prissy-Pants over there," Sue says as she stands and walks to the floor. "There won't be any Beiber, Jessica, or anyone else who doesn't have talent. That includes Journey **Will**!"

"Fine Sue," Will says as he nervously rubs his hands together. "So, any ideas guys?"

"I... might have one," Tina says as she slowly edges off of her seat. "But I don't know if I can do this song right."

"Give it a try girl," Rachel says as she takes in the rest of the club.

As Tina moves to the front of the chairs she says "Here it goes. And Mr. Schue, Coach Sylvester? Please don't complain about the lyrics.

[Tina, with backup by Rachel]

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.

I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,

Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second story?

(Tina tries her hand at rocking out, doing a better job than Rachel)

[Tina & Rachel]

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

You wear me out

(Tina plasters a calm face on while Rachel let's her face show pain and a sense of loss)

[Tina]

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?

(I'm not okay)

I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means

(I'm not okay)

To be a joke and look, another line without a hook

I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

(Tina begins to let her impatience show through, Rachel begins to center herself)

[Tina & Rachel]

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks

The photographs your boyfriend took

You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

(Tina and Rachel put on a face of being blissed out, singing in an emotionless tone)

[Tina & Rachel]

I'm okay

I'm okay!

I'm okay, now

(I'm okay, now)

(Tina and Rachel begin to give up their facade and become frantic as they finish up the song)

[Tina & Rachel finish the song together]

But you really need to listen to me

Because I'm telling you the truth

I mean this, I'm okay!

(Trust Me)

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

Well, I'm not okay

I'm not o-fucking-kay

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

(Okay)

The choir room erupts in cheers and applause as the various couples hug while the singles hi-five and mumble affirmations. After several minutes it calms down and everyone notices Tina has broken down, but it's different than every other time.

"I'm okay guys," the go-go girl says. "I've just never gotten that kind of applause. It feels good."

"And once you can out-diva us for songs, you'll have your share of the spotlight," Rachel says as she hugs the Asian girl and walks her back to her seat.

"That was great ladies," Will says. "But I'm pretty sure we'd have to change it a little to be able to perform it at Regionals.

"I don't see how that's an anthem Will," Sue says as she glares at the two performers. "It's just a bunch of teen angst."

"But most of us feel like that," Mike speaks up. "Most of the time."

"Yeah," Kurt says. "It's hard enough to not be cookie-cutter, but to be something that isn't even in the cabinet..."

"And with everyone having at least a basic camera in their phone," Quinn adds, "it's hard to not have your life shared with anyone who's in zoom distance."

"Coach, Mr. Schue?" Mercedes asks, waiting for their attention. "I can honestly think of at least twenty other songs that would be better for us, but that one was pretty focused. It might be good for us to consider singing it. Rachel and Tina."

"What about you Mercedes?" Rachel asks. "Don't you want a solo? Or to lead a number?"

"I do, but we have one more year," she replies sadly. "Besides, if we don't get to Nationals, there won't be a next year."

As the bell rings and the kids are packing up Will decides on the assignment. "Come up with songs you think would be good for anthems and perform them this week. We'll pick the best one Friday."

(_)

"You've gotten a lot better Noah!" Kurt exclaims as he reviews his geometry homework. "Next you'll tell me you're actually going to your classes," he teases, earning a smirk then a tickle from the tanned teen.

"You are so going to pay for that princess!" Noah hisses playfully, sneaking in gropes and leers. Through the laughter they don't hear the knocking, and once they begin to make out they ignore the fact the door had opened.

"And you're still getting straight A's?" Finn says as he turns his back and slumps against the couch. His sighs don't seem to be having an effect on the lustful teens.

Having a conversation with just their eyes, Kurt and Puck decide to 'accidentally' kick Finn while overplaying their enjoyment. Kurt lets his leg fly forward while Noah lets out an exaggerated moan.

"Dudes, I'm right here!" Finn cries as he rubs the back of his head. The couple begins giggling, then flat out begins to laugh. "It's not funny! And to top it off you're having sex and I'm not!"

"Yeah, it's good to be us," Noah says as he sits up, pulling Kurt with him. "Quinn still getting you down?"

"Geeze sweets, direct much?" Kurt jokes as he tosses a granola bar to his step-brother.

"It's just, I'm not really over Quinn I guess," Finn says as he unwraps the snack and actually breaks pieces of it off, eating it slowly.

Kurt and Noah exchange slightly startled looks and just stare at Finn for a minute. "Wow, you must be having issues..." Noah trails off.

"It's just, I think I still love Rachel, but... I was with Quinn first," Finn rambles before slamming his hands to the ground. "This sucks! Why do we have to choose just one person to be with?"

"Trust me dude, there's girls that don't mind sharing," Noah says as he grabs the now-empty wrapper and tosses it into a wastebasket. "But the two you're into won't."

"It's the whole monogamy thing that gets shoved down our throats," Kurt spits out. "Despite that most of the heroes of religion, other than Jesus, having multiple wives."

Finn looks up to first his brother, then almost-friend-again, and hangs his head. "Why do I keep going for the high maintenance girls?"

"Because you still want to be popular, and the popular ones are always going to be a lot of work," Kurt says as he snuggles into Noah.

"Or just the ones who're worth it," Noah says playfully, earning a tickling of his own.

"But how do I know?" Finn whines, covering his face in his hands.

Noah looks at the pitifulness that Finn has become and decides to take a form of pity on the poor lanky guy. "Umm, you're forgetting, one, important thing man."

Kurt, not wanting any more drama for the rest of the decade, much less the month, tries to stop Noah, but falls into his trap. "He really doesn't need to hear that he _could_ end up not having either of them now sweets."

Noah smirks for just a brief second before calming himself. "Sorry man, but that's a possibility."

"Fuck!" Finn shouts, startling both of the other teens. "Why can't this be as simple as you two or Tike?"

In a bit of a mocking tone Kurt answers. "You think Noah and I had it easy? Seriously? Are you forgetting that we started off wanting to take the other down?"

A flash of shame can be heard in Kurt's voice, and seen on Noah's face as he responds. "Dude, remember the morning we made you gag and take the stairs four at a time?" Upon seeing the horrified nod Noah continues. "That's when I decided to just ignore the bet and... well, here I am," he finishes by taking Kurt in his arms and just nuzzling his neck.

Finn's features suddenly change in a way that was still somewhat unusual. That look he gets when he finally gets something, really gets it. He jumps to his feet and hugs the couple. "Thanks guys! You always have the answers!" He releases them and practically jumps up the stairs.

"If I didn't know him better I'd say he's on drugs," Kurt says as he cradles Noah's head against his neck.

"I know Finn and I think he's on drugs!" Noah mumbles against his boyfriend's neck, eliciting a bout of lustful giggles.

Kurt allows himself to become enthralled with Noah's attention to his neck for a few more minutes before gently turning him around placing his hands on his abs. "Not the only thing rock hard around here, is it sweets?"

The gasp from Noah's lips is proof of his arousal. He tries to grab Kurt's hands but the perfectly maintained nails instead lightly dig in, causing a fusion of a moan and a gasp. "Babe?" Noah croons out with a sensual tone.

"I just want to try something," Kurt sighs into his tanned boyfriend's ear. "And I think you owe me at least that," he says as he slides a hand into Noah's jeans, grasping his manhood with precision.

Noah gulps, but not from fear. _I can't fear my future-husband_, Noah thinks. _But what if he's so over-horned that_... He knows that Kurt just said something... something that demanded be done. He looks to the door at the top of the stairs and decides to go lock it. Once back downstairs he sees Kurt, in his desk chair, in the middle of the living space.

"I want you to strip for me," Kurt says with a heavy look of desire in his eyes. He isn't even bothering to hide the fact he's hard. "And I want you to do it _slow_ Noah."

"Damn, babe," Noah whispers as he begins to move. _I hope he really wants this, not doing it as a way to punish me._

"It's written on your face sweetheart," Kurt says, voice full of wanton lust. "This is just for me. This," he says as he lightly rubs himself, "is for you. After you show me just how sexy you are."

Noah becomes so aroused with how Kurt said that that he loses his erection. This isn't bad because it allows him to move more freely. There's no music, but he doesn't need any. He moves to the beating of his desire. _I'm so glad that I already dumped my shoes and socks. Can't be sexy taking them off. Well, Kurt, but he's seven kinds of sexy._

Kurt is obviously enjoying this, seeing his boyfriend moving, writhing, rolling seductively, all for him. At some point he'd buttoned up the second shirt he was wearing, and now he's unbuttoning it, slowly. Almost too slow for Kurt's taste.

"You want a show babe, you're getting a show," Noah replies, throwing his head back with a lustful grunt as he sheds the garment. The enthralled whiny gasp Kurt lets loose goes right to his loins, and he saunters over to Kurt, feebly playing with his belt. While rolling his hips and making sure to showcase his bulge, he lets an over-stimulated Kurt unbuckle his belt and spins out if it.

"So fucking hot Noah," Kurt whispers, an angelic wisp of lust in the air as he says it.

Noah has to concentrate just a little harder to not get hard, but he continues. "You're better, but this," he says as he slides to the floor and pulls his shirt off in one fluid motion. "Is all yours," he finishes as he rubs his hands over his still-covered torso.

Kurt doesn't hide his possessive leering at Puck's body as he slides off his jeans, exposing his semi-hard prick behind a pair of mesh boxer-briefs. Kurt vulgarly licks his lips, his eyes devouring the sexy beast in front of him. Noah sensually removes his a-shirt, fully exposing his well-defined abs and pecs. He then turns to Kurt and smirks, causing the paler teen to both whimper and absently thrust in his seat. Noah smoothly falls to the ground and crawls to Kurt with a knowing, loving glint in his eyes. He slowly climbs onto Kurt's lap and proceeds to both kiss him and give a lap dance.

After a few minutes Kurt groans and stands, carrying Noah with him. "We don't have much time sweets," as he lumbers to the bed. "Remember how I spent awhile in the bathroom?" Upon Noah's nod, Kurt hurriedly undresses. "I was _getting ready_."

Before Noah can respond Kurt's on top of him, grinding their erections against each other. Noah _would_ wonder what's up, but he's to busy with Kurt's tongue in his mouth. He doesn't hear it, but he suddenly feels his cock getting _really_ slick. He _does_ feel and hear the moan from Kurt's mouth as he reaches behind them, brushing his cock twice. White light explodes behind his eyes as he feels himself **entering** Kurt.

"You're amazing," Kurt whimpers as he slowly lowers himself on Noah's long, thick rod. He begins to kiss along Noah's chiseled jaw, down his neck. When he reaches the dent of Noah's trachea Kurt instantly spasms, biting the tender skin.

At that instant Noah feels Kurt tighten up and a VERY different kind of pressure against the head of his gland. _G-SPOT!_ Noah shouts in his head as he rakes his nails on his boyfriend's back. With Kurt's moan, taken back into Noah's willing and hungry mouth, he begins to lightly thrust. Kurt arches his back and Noah follows. "Gotta be quiet babe."

"Feels so fuckin' good!" he silently shouts a he grinds his hips.

"So gorgeous," Noah whispers as he takes as much control as he can. He takes one of Kurt's nipples into his mouth as he pushes them to sitting, going deeper into Kurt's fresh hole. "Mark me up, but you can't scream, not this time," he huskily says into Kurt's ear.

Kurt obeys, biting into Noah's neck as another wave of pure pleasure ripples through his core. When Noah's hands find their way to the small of his back, Kurt's pushed to the edge. He takes Noah's mouth and screams his orgasm into his mouth.

Feeling the already tight ring convulsing around his member rips Noah to his release as well. With both of them digging into each others backs, crying their epic orgasms into each other, they cum again. Once past their dual-crest they collapse, Kurt almost asleep on top of Noah.

A knock on the door breaks the daze enough for them to at least feign innocence. "Boys, dinner's going to be ready in twenty minutes," Carole says as she lightly taps the door again. "Don't be late."

The two smile into each other's mouths as they roll their eyes, then roll off the bed to quickly shower. As they're sitting down -with four minutes to spare- Carole gives them a knowing smirk, nodding as she points to the glasses and the Britta pitcher from the fridge.

(_)

"Sam you're being unreasonable!" Quinn seethes as she changes out her books.

"Why won't you answer the question?" he half-shouts back. "It's pretty simple: yes, no, maybe, I don't know."

Quinn slams her locker door and turns to glare at her boyfriend. "You want an answer, **fine**! I honestly don't know, okay? I'm not sure _what_ I'm feeling, but I know that I don't want to hurt you."

"So..." the tall teen begins. "You don't love me, but you don't know if you love Finn either?"

_Why do I have to always chose the most dense ones? _"Do you **still **want me to kiss Finn then? To see if it '_Sparks the flames of my heart?_" Quinn asks, angry.

"Yes," comes Sam's simple, flat response.

"Fine, as long as you don't mind me blowing past bitch and blasting into cunt mode," the blond ex-cheerleader rants as she shoves her way to the booth Finn has set up in the hallway of the math wing.

"Sh- Quinn! Please watch your language," Sam pleads. "**No one **likes that word!"

"You want an answer, I'm going to give you one whether or not _**I **_like it!" She shouts at him as they pass the halfway point in the line. "So shut your freaking mouth! As for you bitches – get the **hell **out of my way!"

Rather than having them part, as Quinn intended, the line instantly breaks up, every girl fleeing as if they were on fire. The girls have only seen this side of Quinn once, in Freshman year. The legend is that a month into cheerleading Santana challenged one of Quinn's decisions. The two Alpha Bitches went head-to-head, and Santana... well, there's a reason she doesn't remember what happened. And she's needed extensions since to keep her hair long enough to flow past the nape of her neck. Not so much now, but still...

Once Finn gets a good glance at Quinn's face he instantly stops everything he's doing and his face goes pale. "Quinn?"

She says nothing as she slams down a dollar bill and begins to kiss Finn. At first Finn is just shocked and he does nothing. After a few seconds he begins to respond. He kisses her like he used to: slowly, tenderly, lovingly. He feels fire coursing through his body, fireworks exploding in his eyes.

Quinn at first feels fire and sees stars, but it quickly changes to a feeling of isolation. The fire in her veins, which started almost instantly just as quickly begins to run warm, then cool. She can feel herself in her car, trying to go somewhere quickly. _I'm alone? Why am I going somewhere alone? Is that a dress in the other seat? _As her BlackBerry sounds another text she groans reflexively. She chooses to ignore it to focus on the road. _When is this? Why do I feel that I need to get-_ her train of thought is cut off as she hears a loud horn. In an instant she sees a stop sign to her left and right, and the truck has decided to not stop. When she hears a deafening _crunch _she recoils, dropping back into reality. She simply stares at Finn, trying to warm her blood and core above freezing.

Finn, ever the puppy-that-just-got-kicked, looks at her like his world was just shredded and incinerated. "Quinn? Are you okay?"

She lowers her head, trying to shake the visions and thoughts away. She looks to Sam and gives him a small, almost imperceptible smile. When she turns her attention to Finn her eyes begin to water. "Finn, at first, it was almost magical. But... I'm sorry. I don't love you anymore," she informs him as she takes his hands. "I know we've both done things to each other in the past, and that we had something."

"But it's over?" Finn says, nearly on the edge of panic. "But you just said-"

She gives his hands a squeeze as she cuts him off. "I know, but what I saw, while we were kissing... I didn't like it. We... we just weren't meant to be. I'm sorry," she replies as she steps away and moves to Sam. She gives him a questioning nod to which he half-smiles and takes her in his arms. He looks to Finn and nods, signaling his apologies to whatever pain he might be feeling, and walks off towards their next classes.

Santana and Rachel, who were watching from a hallway two intersections down, wipe the tears from their eyes. Rachel sees the look on Finn's face and tries to run over. She's stopped by the deceptively strong grip of Santana, who spins her around.

"You need to give him time," she flatly says to the young ingénue. "I know he's in pain, but you can't just rush in and help."

"Satan, he's in pain!" Rachel stage yells. "He needs-"

"He needs time to make a _good_ choice Little Miss Tel Aviv!" the Latina spits out. "He knows he's never going to get Quinn back, now it just needs to set in."

Rachel slumps against the wall and closes her eyes. "Are you sure Santana?"

She places a hand on Rachel's shoulder and turns her around for a hug. "Positive." They hold this embrace for a couple of minutes before heading to their respective classes.

(_)

"Okay, so Rachel's version of _Firework _**was **better than Katy Perry's," Kurt admits as he puts up a picture of Noah and Beth in his locker.

"As much as I hate to admit it, it's true," Santana says as she just scoffs at the picture. _Of course that's just an act, but hey._

"Well, Rachel does want to be on Broadway," Artie says as he steals a pinch of the dark-haired girl's ass. She barely manages to not make a peep.

"So, where's Brittany?" Dave asks. He looks at the picture of his new friend and his daughter and smiles.

"Where's Puck?" Artie fires back playfully.

"That's fair," Kurt says as he closes his locker. "Okay, can we all agree that we _don't _have an anthem?"

"The closest was when Coach had us do Sing, but that was only because no one person had a large part of the song," Santana says as she grimaces. "Did I just congratulate Coach Sue?"

"I think you kind of did," Dave says as he slings an arm around Santana's shoulders, giving Kurt a light pat on his back.

"Shit. What's happening to me?" Santana says as she shakes her head and wraps an arm around Dave's waist.

"Maybe you're knocked up," Kurt says dryly. The four almost fall into each other as Artie and Santana instantly stop and just give each other a glare of panic.

"Dude, not funny!" Artie says as he checks his wheels.

"Why not?" Kurt asks with genuine annoyance.

The geek, former cheerleader, and football player all look at each other, and without enough time to hide anything, the secret's laid bare. Well, not for Kurt as he's looking for his boyfriend.

"You know what, we've had a bitch of a week," Dave says. "Let's just relax this weekend, have a lot of sex, and see if we remember this on Monday."

The other three just smirk and laugh as they make their way to the parking lot.

(_)

"Just like **that**!" Dave screams into his pillow as Blaine's pace becomes furious. "Almost there stud!"

"This is amazing!" Blaine almost yells into Dave's ear, squeezing his boyfriend's waist and hip. "I'm gonna – gonna-" he yelps as he shoots into Dave, rocking with the rhythm of his orgasm. He becomes incoherent as Dave releases, whimpering his intense orgasm into the pillow while squeezing the hand surrounding him.

Once capable of rational thought the two reposition themselves so Blaine's head is on Dave's chest. Blaine hides his grimace at just _how much _hair his face is in contact with, but he's content. Just knowing that someone wants him enough to share their body with him brings more comfort than annoyance at having a bear for a boyfriend.

"We're good, right?" Blaine asks as he eyes the door.

"I put in a one-sided deadbolt when my mom calmed down enough to let me come home," Dave replies as he absently rubs the smaller teen's back. "It was a little bit of a pain to install, but it's worth it."

"Okay," Blaine says, his doubt evident.

_There's more going on _Dave thinks. _And I know enough to not say how I know. _"What's wrong honey?"

Blaine sighs and takes a few deep breaths before responding. "It's just... I don't know," he says as he sits up, breaking their contact. "Maybe I'm just paranoid?"

_Not__** this**__ again! _"You're insecure?"

"What exactly do I have that he doesn't?"

"Let's see," Dave says as he kneels in front of Blaine, face to face. "First off, you actually dress well," he says as he rubs circles on the back of Blaine's hands. "You don't dress like biker trying to be fashionable. You also have great manners, all the time," he says as he moves his fingers to Blaine's forearms. "You can dance and perform without exuding sex or sultriness..."

"Yeah, _that's _a compliment," Blaine says. He looks into Dave's eyes and sees the hurt, and lowers his head. "I'm sorry. I should... let you explain that one."

"You don't have a subconscious need to arouse everyone," Dave says, subtly moving behind Blaine. "It's a hot trait to be able to do that, but it isn't something that should be done _all the time_,"

Blaine smiles as Dave slides behind him and wraps his arms around him. "I guess it would get to be boring."

"You're just you," Dave says as he kisses the top of Blaine's head. "You don't try to be anything else," he says as he places a kiss to the left side of Blaine's neck. "And you're secure in _being _yourself, no hiding," Dave finishes as he kisses the right side of Blaine's neck.

Blaine's moans of contentment are genuine as he relaxes into the embrace of his boyfriend. "Thanks bear," he says as he wraps his arms around Dave's. "I guess I just had this picture of how... it was _supposed _to be," he finishes, chuckling a little. "Even if I knew how sweet you would be from the start, I never thought that a big, cute, manly guy like you would have me."

Dave sighs as he rests his head on Blaine's. "If I hadn't had someone bitch-slap me and say 'look' I might not have seen you. And I would have kicked myself if I could ever see what we've become now."

"Because you want me?"

Dave chuckles for a few seconds before responding. "Because I love you dimglow," Dave lovingly says as he tilts himself to be able to kiss Blaine.

"Don't ever call me a dimglow again," Blaine teases as he turns around and begins to trail kisses down Dave's chest.

"Again?"

"It's your turn," he playfully replies, his chin lightly feathering the furry teen's manhood.

(_)

Noah, Mercedes, and Sam are all staring at Rachel, jaws to the ground, as they try to find a reason for hearing what they just heard.

"Wait, I think I just had an aneurysm or something. The fuck?" Noah says as he absently grabs for Mercedes' hand.

"Yeah, I'm expecting to look in the mirror and see that I'm some scrawny white chick from Minnesota," Mercedes says as she gives both Noah's and Sam's hands a reaffirming squeeze.

"My dad's are on the Rosie O'Donnell cruise and I'm throwing a normal, just-for-glee, teen party," Rachel repeats.

"You know that means drinking, right?" Sam says as his eyes keep searching the room, looking for something that shouldn't be there. _It was a bad idea to put VR5 on my iPod..._

Footsteps can be heard behind the three, and by the sound they're Santana's and Brittany's.

"Who's drinking what?" Santana demands as she pulls Brittany just a little closer to her side.

"Is it tap water?" Brittany asks. "Because the fluoride in the water makes you buy season sets of Real Housewives. That's the only reason it's still on the air."

Rachel smirks at the appearance of the two most popular females of glee club. "I'm having an honest teen party for glee club at my house tomorrow night. Booze and all."

Santana instantly joins the first three with her jaw dropping so far Brittany places her hand on the Latina's chin and pushes up. "So, we can have red cups get drunk and kiss each other?" Upon the brunette's nod the blond jumps up and down.

Mercedes is the first to recover and answers for the club. "Okay, as long as there's real booze, we'll be there!"

To add to the awkwardness, Rachel pulls them into a group hug and happily jogs off, leaving Santana, Brittany, Sam, Noah, and Mercedes stunned...

(_)

"You guys made it!" Rachel squeaks with delight as the New Directions walk in. She pauses a bit at Blaine's presence and is surprised at Dave's explanation.

"He's by boyfriend, in case you forgot." He smiles a truly happy smile and adds "Just a warning: I get kinda girly when I drink."

"How girly?" Noah asks, an eyebrow raised in unison with Kurt's.

Blaine wastes no time and answers for him. "From what I hear, he makes Rachel look like a dude." The basement fills with laughter, and Dave's face fills with a faux-indignant blush.

Everyone notices that Artie, Brittany, and Santana are sitting together, holding hands, and with mirror expressions of contentedness. Rachel takes this in, sets down the sheet of paper she picked up from the bar, and climbs on it to sit.

"Let's get this out of the way. What's with you three?" The room goes completely silent.

The three look to each other, murmur a few words, and nod. "We're together," Artie says matter-of-factly.

With the continued silence Brittany decides to just spell it out for them. "Santana and Artie love me, I love Artie and Santana, and now Artie and Santana love each other too. This way we get to have both of the people we love." She then shoots a pleading look to Rachel, who nods and picks up her paper again.

"Here's the rules guys, and I mean it!" she says a little too loudly, intentionally. "Four beers and a squat glass with the tickets. Each two beers or glass after requires a piece of clothing."

Noah and Dave both scoff and shake their head at the same time, causing Kurt, Blaine, and Mike to laugh their asses off.

"As much as you guys are my friends," Tina says while keeping a straight face, "I'm not getting naked to get shitfaced at a party!"

"If you got it, show it off honey!" Santana cheers as she lifts her shirt to the underwire of her bra and lowers it again.

Rachel looks at the gathering of her friends and just smirks, sadly. She looks to Quinn, then Sam and Finn. Finn sighs and takes the tickets from the bar.

"Guys, look," he says, entering Team Captain mode. "Four beers and a shot-"

"Squat glass is two shots dude," Noah corrects.

"Okay, _two_ shots, is a lot. By then we'll either forget about the tickets or not care about getting naked, alright?" Everyone begins to nod, accepting the tickets being given to them. Quinn's the first to notice, but Mike speaks first.

"Umm, Rach? There's nothing but beer out here."

"Right, about that," she begins as she moves to hand Noah his tickets. She moves up and puts on a vulnerable, innocent attitude. "I kind of need you to break into my dad's liquor cabinet." She then addresses the rest of the group. "I'll also need your help to replace the booze when we're done. **Not** pay for it, just getting people who will buy it for me."

Without missing a beat, Tina, Quinn, Dave, and Artie yell "Let's party!"

(_)

"Okay Dave, you're next!" Rachel says as she grabs his hand and pulls it to the bottle.

"No, that's okay," he replies as he tries to pull his hand away. He's stopped by Noah, who pulls his hand back.

"Just remember, if you don't stop when we say stop, I'm bringing pain," Noah says as playfully as he can. It almost sounds playful but it's given away by the jealous look he has. He nods to Kurt, who tentatively spins the bottle.

When is stops Blaine, Noah, Dave, and Rachel all gasp, causing everyone to look at them. They in turn smile innocently and try to play it off.

"You don't have to!" Dave blurts out, almost incomprehensibly.

"He's right Kurt," Blaine encourages. "I'm sure everyone'll let you spin again."

"No, it's okay," Kurt replies. "You better not have burger breath like last time."

Before anyone can even understand what they just heard Kurt grabs Dave's shirt and yanks him over, latching his mouth to Dave's. It's an impatient, half-drunk kiss as Kurt can _taste _the cheap beer mixed with the _expensive _hard liquor. After a few seconds Dave begins to kiss back, this time without whimpering. In all of twenty seconds Kurt's had enough and pushes Dave back to his seat.

"Better this time?" Dave sheepishly asks.

"Much," Kurt replies, smiling a knowing smile. "Still nowhere near as good as Noah," Kurt says as he pulls a Listerine strip from his pocket reserve and pops it.

"Damn right!" Noah says as he pulls Kurt onto his lap and possessively wraps his arms around the slender teen's waist.

Before any questions can be asked Tina takes her turn and squeals when it lands on Quinn. After a few catcalls from the guys and Santana, both girls lean in and quickly kiss, sharing just a little tongue. Just as the 'boos' sound she smirks and offers "We're here to drink, not watch live-action xtube!"

The rest of the party is just fine after that, with more drinking, fun, and jokes at just _how _girly Dave is when he's drunk.

(_)

Once Mr. Schue leaves the room the glee club collectively exhales the breath they were holding. They look at each other nervously, Finn, Noah, and Kurt the strongest.

"That was close guys," Noah says. "The party was two days ago... why are you **still **out of it?"

Artie and Santana look down for a few seconds and stumble over who should answer. Artie wins the bout. "I... _might_ have... brought margaritas to ease the hangovers."

Kurt's eyebrows jump up and almost past his hairline just as Dave and Quinn share a look and roll their eyes. "You _do _know what causes hangovers, don't you?" Upon a collective shrug he enters diva mode, for the first time anyone can remember since he and Noah got together. "Booze dehydrates you, and to try and make up for it your body leeches it from your brain."

"So... drink more water?" Brittany asks, genuinely confused.

"And stop drinking guys!" Finn says. "We can't get to Nationals if we get disbanded or expelled before _Regionals_."

"Mr. Schue said we can't use _Blame it on the Alcohol_," Quinn says as she plops on the half-circle sofa next to Sam. "So where does that leave us?"

"Ke$ha?" Sam asks as he lays down, his head in Quinn's lap.

The group looks at each other and smirks. It's unspoken that they need to at least narrow it down to one song from at least four...

(_)

"Where were you two!" Brittany seethes at Kurt and Noah as they finally enter the staging area.

"Sorry, last minute nerves," Noah says with a smirk.

"Hot!" and "Dude!" are yelped at the same time from Santana and Finn.

"Last minute nerve cure right here!" Rachel says as she lightly shakes a jug and a stack of Solo cups. "This is everything that was left in the liquor cabinet, plus some crumbled Oreos and cough syrup." she states as she hurriedly fills the cups.

"We don't need this Rach," Kurt says as he sniffs the drink and pulls the cup away, horrified.

"Seriously, we've done this before," Finn says. "And I remember when it was just _six _of us doing Push It!"

"We need all the help we can get," Brittany says as she raises her glass. "To Ke$ha!" Everyone joins her in her drinking other than Kurt, Noah, and Dave.

Everything seems to be going well – until Brittany barfs right into Rachel's mouth. She mouths a 'sorry,' but Rachel still freaks out and runs offstage. Kurt runs after her as Santana starts turning green, then pulls a partial Exorcist and falling to her knees. Dave picks her up and carries her offstage, opposite of where Kurt and Rachel went.

"Everybody drink responsibly, and don't drink and drive," Brittany says as she causally wipes her hands on her daisy dukes. She bows and walks offstage, waving for everyone else to follow her lead.

* * *

><p>Yep, this is where I ended it. There weren't many changes I saw during these events, despite Kurt not only still being at McKinley, but being with Puck. Please review this chapter to let me know if it a) totally blew, b) totally rocked, or c) Meh.<p>

I may have to change to updates every ten days to two weeks. I know that's a long time for the fans I have, but it might come to it as I really only have three days a week to reliably write. Is that okay with you guys?


	11. Originally Sexy

Thank you for reading and setting alerts thus far.

I tried to incorporate three weeks/episodes in this chapter, but not only ran out of time but also couldn't tie it in. Back to my outline...

Also, I'm going to have to just publish as I finish chapters. For future stories I'll make sure to write them out first, to make sure you can get regular updates. It's just a thing with me.

So, here's your next chapter. Enjoy!

tinyurl NAGM

So Much For You, Ashley Tisdale (Headstrong: Warner Brothers, 2007)

Cherry Girl, Koda Kumi (Black Cherry: Rhythm Zone, 2006: Japan)

What if I Said?, Anita Cochran w/Steve Warner (Back to You, Warner Brothers, 1997)

The Dream Within, Lara Fabian (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within OST: Sony Classical, 2001)

Liberi Fatali, Final Fantasy VIII OST: DigiCube (Japan, 1999)

As Long as You're There, Charice (Glee: The Music Vol. 6: Columbia, 2011)

Loser Like Me, Glee Cast (Glee: The Music Vol. 5: Columbia, 2011)

* * *

><p><span>Originally Sexy<span>

_Okay, so what have we learned Blaine? _He thinks to himself as he fights the urge to shout down the glares he's getting, even if they're mixed with sympathy. _What did you _think _was going to happen if you drank all weekend?_

Since no one wanted to piss Blaine off by calling his boyfriend, they called someone they only heard of him slamming: Dylan. His fellow Warblers told him what was happening, and Dylan told them to force as much Gatorade and water down his throat as would stay down. By Monday the solid yet lithe singer only had a barely-noticeable headache. As far as Blaine barfing all over Kennedy Hall... that was explained by a tainted batch of chicken steaks that had made a few other students ill as well.

Right now Blaine just wanted to see Dave and explain why he hasn't called since their last round of "I'm Drunk Texts – Blaine, I'm worried" Saturday. Instead he needs to stay and actually _be _involved in the council meeting to determine if the Warblers _will _exist next year, seeing as they were blown out of the water at their first competition in years just months ago. By the team Blaine's boyfriend was on.

(_)

As they're walking down the hall Santana and Brittany are still bickering while Dave, Kurt, Noah, and Sam are all trying their best to not laugh.

"That was tacky-sneaky," Dave says as he cautiously eyes the two girls argument. "Do we really have to be reminded how STDs and pregnancies happen?"

"Well, Finn _did _believe he got Quinn pregnant via hottub," Sam replies.

"And she didn't make you wear a rubber," Kurt says to Noah.

Noah glares lovingly at Kurt and smirks. "Don't gotta worry about that with you now, do I?" he jokes as he pushes his back against a set of lockers, pulling Kurt into a kiss.

Brittany and Santana stop arguing when they hear something hit the lockers and the other boys lightly gasp. Their eyes go from annoyed to entertained and their grimaces turn into sultry smirks. "Hey, free show!" Santana cat-calls as she pulls Brittany into a hug from behind.

"This is hotter than when you and Artie were-" Brittany tries to say, but she's cut off both by a hand over her mouth and a hand pressing on the fly of her jeans.

"What did we agree on about what to share?" Santana asks, aware that the two boys _not _making out are looking to the girls, then the guys.

"Mummph burrh bhhhfff lehhdy," Brittany tries to say as she remembers that her mouth's covered. She licks her lips, causing Santana to gasp loudly. Once her hand's removed Brittany tries it again. "Only when the three of us are together and not when the other two look like they're pooping their pants."

Santana wastes no time and presses Brittany to the lockers, kissing her passionately.

"Dude, umm..." Dave says as he looks to Purt, then Britanna. "Is it wrong for a gay guy to like **both **of these sights?"

"I can ask the same thing about a straight guy," Sam whispers as he tries not to look at Purt with as much excitement as Britanna. "Igottago" he mumbles and jogs off, leaving Dave alone.

"_**Ahem**_," Dave clears his throat, getting the attention of the two macking couples. "Maybe we should go _home_, so we can **all **get our mack on?"

"It's more than macking dude," Kurt playfully remarks, still against Puck's lips. With a knowing smile between the pentet, they all race to the parking lot, knowing what the _first _thing they were going to do was.

(_)

After almost not making their standing coffee date Blaine stares at the screen of his MacBook. _I really don't want to do this report on the history of Mid-Seventeenth Century Europe... then again I don't want to have to worry about this later. _He finishes the report and looks over his homework list, his conversation with Dave playing back.

_"I'm serious! She sung _Do You Wanna Touch _and then snuck in something about using condoms!" _Dave had joked as he broke their oversized brownie. _"Yeah, we need to do something sexy for Regionals... Like those geezers would know sexy if they were drowning in it!"_

"... sexy..?" Blaine said out loud as he checked off everything but his English homework. "Why would we need sexy for a _Show Choir _competition?" There was something nagging him. _I know that I'm just being paranoid. Dylan and I have talked about this __**twice**__. Hell, _Dave _said that he wouldn't leave me for him._

He finishes his English homework, cursing the fact that most of his classmates **still **didn't get synonyms like 'choose' & 'chose' or the _they're, their, and there._

_ "_It isn't that hard," he says to himself, checking that his dormmate hadn't come in. He _had, _but was asleep with his earbuds in. "_They _are _choosing _to go _there _to find _their _coats because _they're _freezing after the heater _chose _to break-down."

He looks to his phone and scrolls to a contact he entered while he was taking care of Dave three weeks ago. He had already determined that it was a Chicago number, that it was likely _not _with it's original carrier, and that it was likely _not _a good idea to actually use it. He threw caution to the wind and fired off a text message.

Umm, can we talk? You know, via txt?

He waited for a few minutes, looking at the clock. _9:42_. _Have to get to bed soon._ He almost startled when he got a reply.

_What do you want Blaine? I WAS asleep._

_Already? It's pretty early. _He sends another message, trying to express what was going through his mind. This reply was almost instant.

_Don't care right now. Bring a friend to Carmel and we'll talk all you want. Bring Rachel too: she needs a pick-me-up. 'Night._

"Okay, later then," he mutters to himself as he shuts down his laptop, readies for bed, and checks his phone again before turning it off. There's another message from this new person:

_Don't tell Dave, make sure Rachel keeps her mouth shut._

"Good idea," Blaine mutters as he drifts off to sleep.

(_)

Kurt and Noah see Rachel sitting all by herself, absently playing the piano. There's no real melody or song and she looks like she's been crying. Before Kurt can move to her Noah shakes his head.

"I got this one babe," he says as he places a kiss to Kurt's cheek. He takes a couple of steps toward the piano and turns around. "And if I mess up, which I won't, of course, you're still here."

Kurt nods and, seeing the concerned look in his lover's eyes, smiles. "I'm never going to get tired of you Noah. Especially your eyes."

Noah smirks before he can catch himself and turns it into a smile. "I love you," he says as he keeps eye contact with Kurt while walking to Rachel.

"I'm glad that you two are still together after what happened during Love Songs," Rachel says, not lifting her gaze from the piano keys. "There's at least one couple that's survived other than Tike."

Noah sits and lightly nudges her shoulder, nodding as Mercedes and Quinn enter and sit next to Kurt. "That's the funny thing about _being _in a relationship," he says as he silently pleads for her to look at him. "Everyone involved changes a little, even me," he finishes, chuckling.

"I-I can see that you've changed Noah," she says as she finally looks away from the keys but avoiding looking at anyone. "But that was bound to happen. It's not like you ever had anything to lose before."

"Hey!" he says with partial-shock. He nudges her shoulder again before continuing. "I've always had a lot to lose. Like my sister, for one."

"You didn't have someone that loved _you, _then mess that up," she replies dryly. She sighs and leans into Noah. "I really did – _do –_ love Finn. And I couldn't get past myself to just... _let _it happen."

"Love isn't just sex Rach," Noah replies. "And you don't have to _choose _between success and your heart."

She instantly sits bolt-upright and stares at Noah, like he just turned into a demon, ate a kitten, and put on a halo. "Since when do you _not _joke about sex?"

He shrugs and looks to Kurt, smiling as he talks up a storm with his two best friends. "It just becomes another form of cuddling after awhile. Like, holding hands but just for the two of you, no one else. You know?"

Rachel looks to her lap, replying with a "no. Just, it's like everyone's changed, and I'm still the girl everyone makes fun of and hates."

Noah sighs, then takes Rachel's chin and moves her head to look him right in the eyes. "No one hates you Rachel, not even Kurt. You _know _he's forgiven you for what happened before Sectionals." She wrings her face free and stares at her lap again. "Rach, your being this, like, passive doormat? It isn't you! And your being a dominate Diva-Bitch? That isn't you either."

She shifts uncomfortably, a tear escaping from her eyes. "Then who am I?" she quietly sobs out. "I have all this talent, these _dreams,_ and I... I just _can't _see anyone understanding them."

Noah pats her on the leg, lightly, before responding. "You, are an _amazing _performer with a great voice," he says catching her eye through her long raven-black hair. "And we can help you learn to _share _the spotlight. Not all of us want to be a Broadway star... couldn't you help us before you make it big? Y'know, so you have someone to thank when you win an Emmy or something?"

She half-heartedly laughs, but it's genuine. "It's a _Tony _for theater, but thanks Noah," she says with a sniffle. "And you're right. It _doesn't _have to be lonely at the top." She stands and walks to the chairs. "Um... can you guys, maybe, help me with something?"

The three other occupants immediately stop their conversation and look to Rachel. Quinn's the first to recover and places a hand on Kurt's out of habit.

"It's about time you asked for help," the blond says as she smiles. "How can we help?"

"Well, there's no one else here to play instruments," Rachel starts, "but I'd like to try something. I can tell by the way you sing that you play piano?"

"I of course can play guitar," Noah says as he crosses to grab one.

"Actually, you can just watch," Rachel says. "I... want to try a dance number. I need someone to set up the synth box."

"We got this Rach," Mercedes says as she takes Quinn's hand and moves to the cabinet to grab the board, Quinn sitting at the piano. "Which song girl?"

"So Much for You," she replies, causing a collective gasp from the room's occupants.

"Ashley Tisdale?" Kurt asks with a horrified expression. "Are you mental?"

"Maybe," Rachel mutters under her breath. "Are you guys ready?" Upon their nod, Rachel starts her song.

[Rachel, dancing if nothing else like a seductress]

If you got the time I'll take it

If you got the vibe we'll make it

I'll do that, I'll do that

If you want to dance lets move it

If you want to play lets play it

I'll do that, I'll do that

(Finn stops in the doorway, watching the impromptu performance)

And I get on up and I get on down

And I play the fool when I act the clown

You know that I'd do anything for you…..

If you want the world

You got it

If you want the girl

You got it

I'll do that baby, I'll do that

So much for you

If you want it all

You got it

Can you hear me call?

You got it

I'll do that baby, I'll do that

So much for you

So much for you

So much for you

So much for you

(Rachel begins to dance more modestly, but still with a hint of sultriness)

If you got the game

Let's win it

If you got the mood

Let's bring it

I'll do that, I'll do that

If you got the song

Just sing it

If you sing it wrong

Just wing it

I'll do that, I'll do that

You get on up and you get on down

You make me smile when I want to frown

You know that I'd do anything for you…

Shake it

If you want the world

You got it

If you want the girl

You got it

I'll do that baby, I'll do that

So much for you

(Rachel ignores seeing Finn and dances for someone in the seats that isn't there)

If you want it all

You got it

Can you hear me call?

You got it

I'll do that baby, I'll do that

So much for you

So much for you

So much for you

Cause if you want it

You've gotta have it

Own it feel it and believe it

Go achieve it

And if you know it

You've gotta shout it scream it

get it once you show it

don't you blow it.

If you want the world

You got it

If you want the girl

You got it

I'll do that baby, I'll do that

So much for you

(Rachel's voice and movements become resigned, like she's saying goodbye)

If you want it all

You got it

Can you hear me call?

You got it

I'll do that baby, I'll do that

So much for you

Ohhhhh!

So much for you

So much for you

(I'll do that baby, I'll do that)

So much for you

Ohhhhh!

So much for you

So much for you

(So much for you)

So much for you

(So much for you)

So much for you

So much for you

(So much for you)

Rachel leans forward, her hands on her thighs. She sheds a few tears as she stands again and moves to the closest chair and sits. Quinn and Noah give her a warm yet sad smile while Mercedes and Kurt move to her side, resting their heads on her shoulders.

"I think that was your best number yet Rachel," Finn says as he steps into the room, his eyes on the floor and hands in his pockets. "It was amazing."

Quinn looks to Finn, then back to Rachel. "I think I know why you chose that song now," she says as she disconnects the keyboard and puts it back in the cabinet.

Noah moves to Finn cautiously, stopping a few feet away. "You doing better man?"

Finn briefly looks him in the eyes then looks to the floor again. "Not really."

Rachel stands and smooths out her dress, grabbing her backpack. "We can discuss this later. I need to get to my History class," she says as she steps to the door Finn didn't enter through. She leaves before Finn can open his mouth.

"I think I'll walk with her," Quinn says uncertainly as she grabs her backpack and trots off after Rachel.

Mercedes moves next to Noah and places a hand on Finn's shoulder, giving a light squeeze. "It'll work itself out Finn," she says as he turns into her and openly begins to sob. Kurt moves behind Finn and envelops him in a hug, Noah moving to the side and embracing the other three, letting Finn cry himself out.

(_)

"Wait, what do you want me to do?" Nick asks as Blaine hands him his frappuccino. "Why would I go to a school in _Akron _to spy on a choir we're not competing against?"

"I just need to talk to someone, and he said to bring a friend," Blaine replies as he sighs and pulls out his phone. He grimaces as he sees that there are no messages. The last one from Dave simply said "Finn and Rachel are ignoring each other by singing again."

"Is this about that hulking Irish dude that banged your BF before you did?" Nick asks causally. He's never treated Blaine any different than his other friends, which is why he's been Blaine's best friend at Dalton since he transferred last year.

Blaine responds too quickly and too forcefully for anyone, even Brittany, to believe. "Not at all. I just wanted to see what they're doing for Regionals."

"Nice try donut-puncher," Nick says with a smile.

"Whatever rug-muncher," Blaine spits back with a smirk.

"And damn proud of it too," Nick smirks as he knuckles Blaine's hand. "Just tell me this: What do you plan on _doing _when you see him? Without Dave that is?"

As Blaine answers the station playing at the Lima Bean begins to play _So Much For You_. "I... I don't know. I haven't thought about it. _Much_"he mutters the last word.

Nick stares at Blaine for what seems like several minutes before answering. "You are **not **serious Blaine!" he scoffs. "The two things you _**can't **_do are fucking him up or dump Dave just because you aren't his first love!"

"Goddamnit Nick I **fucking **know that!" Blaine shouts, silencing the tables surrounding theirs. After blushing a deep crimson red, he takes a few steadying breaths. "I'm... I'm sorry. It's just, you haven't seen him," Blaine sighs as he absently takes a few moderately large gulps of his still-hot slow-drip. "He's... well he's a wet-dream if you're not into smooth guys."

Nick instantly blushes and ducks his head for a few seconds. "Um, okay. Could you maybe translate that into stag?"

Blaine thinks for a few seconds before responding. "Okay, the hotness of Jenna Jamison in Angelina's body with Alyson Hannigan's hair color. A little darker than that."

Nick's face, for a few seconds, looks like an "O" face, but quickly changes to one that was just embarrassed. "That was close!" he says as he glares at his friend. "I'm guessing he's as hairy as Carl or Mitch?" Upon the nod he simply shakes his head. "Yep, that's hot alright. So?"

"'So?'" Blaine mocks. "I can't rock that look! I workout all the time and I _still _can't put on much muscle!"

"And yet you can break jaws at the drop of a hat," Nick sarcastically replies. "By the way, thanks for taking Carmichael out before Sectionals."

"That was his fault for demanding a match!" Blaine whines in defense.

"You could have just uppercutted him. That would have just broke a tooth or two."

"God you suck Nick!"

"Not as much as you man," Nick replies with a smirk, stifling a good deep laugh. "Fine, I'll tag along, but only because you haven't given me the password to your youporn account."

"You just like an audience," Blaine jokes, kicking Nick under the table.

(_)

For the first time since they've been together they had their homework done. Not just for the day – for the whole week. They looked in awe as they checked all their notes from all of their classes twice. Not a single assignment was left to do. Even the extra credit. The conversation was basically Kurt saying "You're not a Melv!" to Noah's "Dude, I'm such a freakin' Melv!" They had been using their extra time making out for the last forty-five minutes. Sadly they never thought to lock the door.

"Hey kids time for-" Burt was stopped in his tracks and spun around faster than a ballerina on a wet, waxed floor. "Ah man..."

Noah lifted himself to his elbows as Kurt shifted to his back and held a pillow to hide his embarrassment. "Hey Burt. Time to eat?"

"Uhh, yeah... dinner," Burt said as he purposely _didn't _look in their direction. "So... yeah... See you up there," he said as he fled up the stairs.

"Dear GaGa that was humiliating," Kurt said through gritted teeth.

Noah pulls Kurt into a hug, rubbing his arms. "We weren't getting it on babe."

"Doesn't matter," he replies, placing his hands on Noah's and bringing one down to his crotch.

"Oh..." the tanned teen replies as he smirks. "Can that be my extra-special dessert?"

"Guzzler!" Kurt playfully says as he leaps from the couch, out of reach of his boyfriend.

"Feeder!" Noah hisses as he chases the lithe teen up the stairs.

The second both boys step away from the top stair Noah's phone begins to ring. He gives Kurt an apologetic look before answering.

Kurt knows that when he hears the techno version of Beethoven's _Piano Sonata NO.8 _it's serious. Or at least important. _He's helped us so far without expecting anything. And he **did **put Azimio in his place..._ he tells himself as he helps Carole set the table, pulling Finn from his seat and out of the dining room and kitchen. He steals a few looks at Noah and sees that the call must not be going well. After three minutes Noah shouts "dude!" and pulls the phone from his ear, startling everyone.

"Dude, stop thinking like that! … No, that isn't going to happen! … Dude, chill the fuck out – I'll make sure Quinn goes with her. … It ain't gonna happen – he's not **that **stupid. … 'K, gotta go, bye!" Noah jabs at his phone and snaps it back into his holster. He looks at Burt and Carole, both with a look of incredulity, to Finn and Kurt, who look like they can't decide if they should cry or kick him in his nads.

"So, Puck, what was all that about?" Burt asks as he sits at the table.

Noah looks pensive for a minute as everyone sits and dishes out their meal. He answers after Kurt takes his first bite. "It's kind of a secret, but it's Blaine's insecurity with Dylan again."

Finn rolls his eyes as father and son just grumble something under their breath. Carole just looks confused and can't stop the question on the cusp of her mouth.

"We know you weren't a virgin Noah, but... were Blaine and Dave virgins when this all started?"

Kurt shoots an apologetic look to his father as he takes out his phone and fiddles with it. A few seconds later his phone sounds twice and, after looking at the screen, snaps it back into his holster. It wasn't that he'd given up fashion, just created a new side: professional student. Besides, it wasn't like anyone other than the Cherrios or Mercedes truly appreciated the sheer fabulousity of Kurt's creations. And the holster was easier access when he needed to take a quick picture or respond quickly to a message or to ignore a call.

"Sorry guys, I just had to ask Dave and Dylan if I could share their story with you guys," Kurt says before wiping his mouth. "Dylan was Dave's first, and Dave was Blaine's first. Dylan basically threw Dave away saying that he _couldn't _be his first boyfriend. It wouldn't have worked anyway since they're half a state away."

"So," Finn says as he hurriedly chews and swallows the bite of faux-roast he took, "that big guy that made Azimio cry 'bitch' was the first one to have sex with Dave?" Upon his brother's nod he continues. "And Blaine's pissed or something because unlike you and Puck he can't change his worldview?"

Noah and Kurt are both staring slack-jawed at Finn as Carole and Burt share a small, smarmy smile. Finn looks to his brother and bro and just shrugs. "I'm not as clueless as everyone thinks I am... sometimes," he finishes as he shoves a large spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth.

Burt sighs and takes another bite of his steamed broccoli and says "there isn't anything anyone can offer that would make me consider being a teenager again."

Carole chuckles and sets her fork and knife down, smirking. "If _you _were the one who gave birth to Kurt, you might change your mind," she offers as she takes a sip of water.

Burt chuckles and gives Carole a playful look before pecking her on the cheek. Noah sees this and does the same with Kurt, earning a groan from Finn.

"I know Mercedes isn't with someone, but I still feel like crap, being reminded that I'm single," Finn says, more resigned than angry, annoyed, or hurt.

"Dude, you should really consider taking Rachel back," Kurt says in between bites. Finn, Noah, and Burt are staring curiously at him, Noah with a shit-eating smile on his face. He looks at the other men, then to Carole, then to his plate. "What?"

"You sounded like a guy-guy," Finn says, smiling for one of the first times in months. "That wasn't degrading, was it?"

"That's the second time today, and was actually kinda hot," Noah says, toning down the hormonal-heat of his voice.

Kurt blushes just slightly and slowly whips a spoonful of potatoes while replying. "If you're into guys that talk like bros, maybe you and Finn should hook up," Kurt tries to deadpan, but he comes off as being completely joking. As everyone begins to laugh Kurt quickly shoves the spoon into his mouth and allows himself to blush. "Please tell me I'm an alien and my ship's close to taking me back to my homeworld."

"Don't worry babe," Noah whispers into his ear. "You're the sexiest humanoid ever," he finishes as he lightly touches the fly of Kurt's button-fly, making Kurt's hips buck just slightly.

"You are **so **paying for that later," Kurt grits out in a whisper.

"I'm counting on it," Noah replies as he gives one last tap and begins chewing on the roast he had on his fork.

(_)

The drive wasn't unpleasant. A little quiet at times, at least at first. _I still can't believe it. Quinn and I are **friends**! _Rachel happily thinks. _I'm in a car with Quinn Fabray, and I'm not jealous!_

"Take this exit Rachel," Nick says, pointing to the exit for Tillmadge AVE.

"Okay," she replies, hoping no one will mind her trying to merge just a quarter mile or so before the exit. "Blaine, it's been just over three hours. Why are _we _coming with you?"

"You were invited," Blaine replies as he does his best to ignore the absurd faces Nick keeps making. "And you," Blaine says as he turns to his friend, "are an immature brat!" he finishes as he playfully shoves him.

"You two knock it off or we aren't getting candy and ice cream," Quinn says as sternly as she can without laughing. She turns to Rachel and sighs. "Next time, I'm keeping my girl. The boys can go straight to the orphanage."

Rachel does her best to suppress a smirk, but it doesn't work. She quickly glances at Quinn then back to the road. "This is why I'm not having sex or kids until I'm twenty-five." Upon that announcement there's a collective gasp of shock as Nick finally has a serious face, Quinn and Blaine completely slack-jawed.

"No sex?" Nick says, stunned.

"Twenty-five?" Blaine chokes out.

Quinn smirks and places a hand on Rachel's shoulder. "I wish I had enough determination to have done that."

The smaller girl smiles and quickly pats the blond's hand. "I'm just too focused on my dreams of being on Broadway. _Obviously._" She exits the highway, navigating the almost-familiar streets to their destination. "Here we are... Carmel High School..."

"It looks like everyone's out," Blaine says as he scans the parking lot.

"They said something about an in-service all week," Quinn said as she points to a spot next to a motorcycle.

"Creepy," Nick says. "Maybe they're all zombies and the survivors are holed up somewhere..."

Quinn and Blaine both roll their eyes as they exit the now parked vehicle. Rachel carefully removes her jacket and places it in the trunk, next to a change of clothes she still carries out of habit. Quinn notices this as she takes her cell phone out of her purse and hides the accessory near the spare tire. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?" she says as she lets her hand hover over the garments.

"Yeah," the other girl replies. "Other than the boys during the Championship game, we haven't had one since Noah and Kurt started dating."

As they begin to walk to the auditorium, Rachel leading the way, the four try to have a conversation. Quinn starts it off.

"I never in a million years thought Puck would ever date a guy," she says good-naturedly. "I mean, not all womanizers are making up for something."

"I just never thought that childhood pranks like pushing or pulling someone would carry on that long," Rachel says, looking around. _I've never come in this way. Which building is that?_

"I don't know," Nick says as he tries to understand how a _public _school can look this nice. "There's always that one person that makes you think."

Blaine pauses for a second. "Wait, is that why you-"

"Don't read too much into it Blaine," Nick hurriedly replies. "I just don't like sleeping alone, and now that you're with Dave, I kinda have to."

The quartet stop at once. Just a few hundred feet in front of them is the Carmel Auditorium. Remembering what happened last time, Quinn takes one of Rachel's hands and gives a firm, comforting squeeze.

"The last time I was here," Rachel says, trying not to let her voice break. "I said goodbye to my mother."

Quinn gives a half hug to her new friend, squeezing her hand again. "What about at Regionals last year?"

"I don't count that."

"Ladies, we should get this over with," Nick says as he shoulder-shoves Blaine.

"He's right," Blaine replies in agreement. "Whatever they – Dylan – plans to do, it's too late to back out now."

Just as they begin to approach again, a door slams open and a man dressed in all black runs out, terrified. None of the four can figure out what the music playing is, but they like it. The man runs toward them when Rachel gasps and tries to pull the others into hiding.

"Shit, that's Goolsby, the director for Vocal Adrenaline!" she quietly cries, pleading for her companions to understand.

"Don't worry Rach, we can handle this," Quinn says as she takes Nick's hand and puts Rachel's into Blaine's.

The douche director stops short of running into the four and looks them over. "What're you all doing here... spying?"

"No," Nick says. "We heard of an on-campus orgy and we're planning on mating like salmon."

"Yeah," Quinn continues the play. "We've been sneaking in doses of fertility drugs and brought some instant-acting ones for everyone else," she finishes by pressing her cheek to Nick's.

Blaine, not to be out-done, moves behind Rachel and grabs her stomach with both hands. "By the end of the day, there'll be dozens of babies to replace all of us," he says, nuzzling her neck. "Singing, dancing, Broadway-bound babies."

"Fuck you too!" Goolsby screams as he resumes running the way they came. "You're all total **FREAKS!**"

As the quartet continue on to their destination, they takes turns losing it, laughing hard enough to make even dragging them along difficult. Blaine and Nick's friendship show through as they keep slapping each other on the back, their red faces restarting their fit, while Rachel and Quinn just laugh and try holding on to each other, knowing just how horrified their parents – and some friends – would be at that display.

As soon as they're inside Rachel freezes. The other three follow her sightline and see the girl that Rachel sent to a crack house. She's warming up for some kind of dance number, and from the costume it's either a bad Chicago, or a good Coyote Ugly number. Before Rachel can run back out the door, the Filipina girl walks up to them.

"Rachel, I didn't know you were coming," she says with genuine surprise. "You're Brittany, right?" she says to Quinn.

"No, I'm Quinn," she says, holding out her hand. "Brittany's taller and a little skinnier."

"I'm Nick," the brunette says, extending his hand and kissing hers when she extends it.

Blaine rolls his eyes as he introduces himself. "I'm Blaine, and please excuse my friend. He's a pig."

Nick punches Blaine's shoulder, exclaiming "I am _not _a pig!"

"What about your _girlfriend _Jillian?"

"What girlfriend?" Nick says as he ogles Sunshine.

"Enough Willie-Meister," a deep voice says, approaching. "And yes, my hearing's that good... at least indoors."

"Dylan," Blaine states flatly, no emotion at _all _in his voice.

The red-head jumps off the stage and pulls Blaine into a hug. When he breaks the embrace he quickly hugs Rachel and Quinn and shakes Nick's hand. "Dave better be treating you right," he asks Blaine.

"He is, he is," Blaine says, smiling. "It's just... _you._"

"What about me?"

"He thinks you're setting him up to fall and take Dave yourself," Nick says without ceremony, climbing up on stage, helping Rachel and Quinn up despite their repeated insults to the wiseness of the idea.

Dylan looks to Blaine, Blaine's shoes, then back to his eyes. "Let's get one thing clear Blaine: If I in **any **way break you two up, he'll know. Then all three of us will be alone, pissed off, and heartbroken. At the moment, I'm the only one alone in this."

"So why did you _really_ push him away?" Blaine asks defiantly.

Dylan sighs and leans against the stage, able to stare at the ceiling. "You know that uneasy feeling you get when things work out a little too well?" Blaine stares blankly at him but nods. "I just, it was too perfect too soon. I did enjoy it, but still..." Dylan trails off.

Blaine considers this for a minute, trying to understand _why_ someone would let a catch like Dave go. Two random, not-obvious items connect in his head. "You didn't want to be the first to break his heart, did you?"

Dylan lets out a sigh and stands, wiping his eyes. "You're benefiting from my not having the balls to take a risk that big. He loves you, and he will until you give him a reason not too. Like being jealous of me and acting like an insecure woman." He looks to the girls, then Blaine. "No offense."

Shocked at the pure honesty, Blaine nods. He points at the stage and Dylan nods. They get onstage and everyone takes their marks.

"So do you make a habit of having your friends from other schools perform with you?" Quinn asks as she looks at the song lyrics with a confused look.

"Not until recently," Sunshine says while chuckling. "Dyl seems to think we should be nice to our competition, and I agree," she finishes with a smile and a glance to her friend.

"Besides, outside of here Dylan's the only one with friends," a girl with flowing auburn hair says as she resets it.

"And he's **still** the only one with the balls to stand up for us," a slight, lanky boy with dirty-blond hair says.

Nick, a look of fresh respect in his eyes, snaps to Dylan. "_**You**_ made him do that? How?"

The Vocal Adrenaline members begin chuckling as a girl - from last year's egging - answers. "Dylan told Goolsby that one minute of his mouth would leave him begging to be his sex-slave."

"Then Dylan kissed him!" Sunshine squeals, hands on her stomach as she tries to compose herself. Everyone joins in, but it's obvious that Blaine's only doing it to not draw attention to himself. Only Dylan and Rachel seem to notice.

"Everyone ready now?" Sunshine asks. One everyone's nodded she signals for the music to start.

[All singing by Sunshine partnered to Dylan]

(Girls begin to ride the boys, Rachel/Blaine, Quinn/Nick)

otoko tte RODEO ni umaku  
>tsukaware nai you ni kiduite<br>GEEMU wa shuuryou! Dato sakende  
>oshiete ageru<br>(Girls kick off their shoes off)  
>tsumazuite mo warai tobashite<br>hadashi de aruite mo ii ja nai?  
>mawari no me wo ki ni shite itara<br>chiisai onna de owari dakara  
>SHOTTO demo karuku nomihoshite<br>TENSHON agete ikou yo  
>sonna koto...nante onna demo ii no yo<br>yarikireba ne  
>(Guys get a little wild – the girls smack them into submission)<br>soshite otokotte RODEO wo  
>umaku nori ko nasa nakya<br>Ikura abaretetemo  
>Atashi-tachi ga oshiete ageru<br>(For the rest of the song the guys are emotional, the girls predatory and detached)  
>jinsei otoko to onna to sou de nai hito de<br>ugoite iru  
>sonna yo no naka sonna wake de<br>koi ni ochiru koto ga aru  
>otagai tanoshi ma nakya dame<br>dame desho?  
>ima no yo no naka wa otoko mo onna mo kankei nai<br>ima wa onna ga tsuyoin dakara  
>(girls push the guys to the floor with a foot on their chests)<br>otoko tte RODEO ni umaku  
>tsukaware nai you ni kiduite<br>GEEMU wa shuuryou! Dato sakende  
>oshiete ageru<p>

yurameku shinkirou no you ni  
>kawari yuku watashi de itai<p>

soshite otokotte RODEO wo  
>umaku nori ko nasa nakya<br>Ikura abaretetemo  
>Atashi-tachi ga oshiete ageru<p>

soshite otokotte RODEO wo  
>umaku nori ko nasa nakya<br>Ikura abaretetemo  
>Atashi-tachi ga oshiete ageru<p>

otoko tte RODEO ni umaku  
>tsukaware nai you ni kiduite<br>GEEMU wa shuuryou! Dato sakende  
>oshiete ageru<p>

"No wonder you've won four years in a row," Nick says, panting slightly. "And why do you get the hottest girl as your partner?"

Sunshine chuckles as she playfully approaches the brunette. "You can't handle me Nick." She promptly leaves the stage as the other choir members take seats in the audience.

"What's going on?" Rachel asks, scanning the stage.

"We have one more number," Dylan replies as he moves to follow Sunshine. "Think of it as... a cathartic piece. Please, join the others," he says add he points to the partially-filled seats.

As the four leave the blinding brightness of the stage they make out the confused, worried expressions on their faces. They don't look happy about whatever's happening next.

"Why do you look so apprehensive guys?" Blaine asks.

"Dylan asked for this," the dark blond answers. "It's the first time he's asked _us_ to give him the stage."

"And he'd been crying before he asked," a tanned girl adds sheepishly. "This is either really good, or really bad."

They wait in silence for another minute before they come back onstage, a wall being set in place. The mixed troupe give each other glances and slight shrugs before turning their attention back to the stage. Dylan and Sunshine are wearing country outfits, both looking very chic in a 90's retro style.

[Sunshine]

We've been friends for a long long time

You tell me your secrets and I tell you mine

She's left you all alone and you feel like no one cares

But I have never failed you I've always been there

[Dylan]

You tell your story it sounds a bit like mine

it's the same old situation it happens every time

Can't we see oh maybe you and me

is whats meant to be

or do we disagree

[Sunshine & Dylan (Dylan)]

What if I told you (what if I said)

that I loved you

how would you feel

what would you think

what would we do

do we dare cross that line

between your heart and mine

or would I lose a friend

or find a love that would never end

what if I said

[Sunshine]

She doesn't love you

oh it's plain to see

I can read between the lines of what your telling me

[Dylan]

and he doesn't hold you the way a woman should be held

how long can I go on keeping these feelings to myself

[Sunshine & Dylan (Dylan)]

What if I told you (what if I said)

that I loved you

how would you feel

what would you think

what would we do

do we dare cross that line

between your heart and mine

or would I lose a friend

or find a love that would never end

what if I said

[F&M]

Oh we've both had our share of loneliness

[Sunshine]

so who's to say we can't have a little happiness

[Dylan]

and if I found that in you

[Sunshine]

it would make my dreams come true

[Dylan]

or would you walk away

[Sunshine]

hear what I have to say

[Sunshine & Dylan (Dylan)]

What if I told you (what if I said)

that I loved you

how would you feel

what would you think

what would we do

oh do we dare cross that line

between your heart and mine

[Dylan]

I've always wondered

from that day that we met

what if I said

[F then M]

what if I said

[F&M]

(Both begin to walk away from each other, heads hanging with hands in pockets)

Ohhhhhhhhh

what if I said

Dylan starts to walk back to the wall, but falls forward into it. He turns so his back's against it as he's overtaken by shaking sobs. Sunshine instantly rushes to him and sends a knowing glare to her teammates. With looks of extreme discomfort and pity, they begin to file out.

Approaching the stage they can hear Sunshine trying to comfort her friend, but to no avail. Almost as if he sensed their presence on the stage Dylan looks in Blaine's direction.

"We... we told each other that we loved each other. I... I was terrified to tell him... and I _walked away_ from him!" Dylan sobs. "I didn't want either of us to get hurt... and I just dug it **deeper**!"

Blaine, close enough to kick Dylan's feet if he wanted, is once again stunned. He sees Sunshine trying to comfort him, with limited success, and Rachel giving a sympathetic smile while Quinn comforts her. _What the hell do I do with this? Do I just forgive him, ignore the fact my __**boyfriend **__still has feelings for another guy?_ He's snapped out of his reverie by Nick, who places a hand on his shoulder.

"That was pretty messed up man," Nick says as he haunches down. "But you did it for Dave, right? Without knowing about Blaine?" Dylan simply nods as he takes Sunshine's hands. Nick looks to Rachel and Quinn, who cautiously step forward.

"Dylan?" Quinn asks. "Why did you invite _us _here?"

"Y-yes," Rachel nervously asks. "I can understand having Blaine here, you two have some unresolved issues, but why us?"

Dylan takes a few steadying breaths and nods to himself before pressing a kiss to Sunshine's cheek. He lightly taps her hands and begins to stand up, smoothing out his shirt and righting his hat. "The largest part of it revolves around Blaine's issues with me, yes Rachel. But... at the end of the day, Dalton Academy is the only school where rules are actually enforced."

Blaine and Nick share a nod, knowing where the large teen's going. Sadly the pale-skinned girls are slightly confused. Sunshine sees this and speaks up. "You all need to bring your A-game to Regionals, but after we lose," she frowns and looks to Dylan, who wraps her in a comforting hug, "we're going to McKinley."

"Wait, what?" Rachel squeaks. "How can you even-"

"Blaine's coming too," Dylan says. "That's why we need a _workable _zero-tolerance policy, even if it's more like three-strikes."

"We were hoping that with help from someone who _has _a policy like that, and someone who _needs _one, we could come up with one that would work," Sunshine says as her eyes light up just for a flash of a second.

"We could give it a try?" Quinn says, more as a question than a statement.

"But, how can we beat you?" Rachel asks. "You haven't lost in seven years."

"That depends," Dylan smirks. "Ever think of writing your own songs?"

(_)

"Anyone else have a sense of d_éjà vu_?" Santana asks as they take their seats to watch Vocal Adrenaline.

"We have something they don't," Dave says as he takes a seat between Santana and Kurt.

"Original songs? That's not going to be enough," Tina says as she takes Mike's hand. "Even if they're great.

"Are you guys sure you want me to sing?" Rachel asks, looking at Mercedes. "Your song's better."

"Nah, you missed out last time," the chocolate diva says. "And we'll have Nationals for me to lead."

Quinn and Finn both smile as the lights dim, signaling the start of the other team's performance.

[Sunshine with all vocals, the rest of the team dancing in a _**VERY **_boring fashion]

Free

The dream within

The stars are crying a tear

A sigh

Escapes from heaven

And worlds end

Breathe

The dream within

The mystifying

We tremble and spin

Suspended within

Look beyond

Where hearts can see

Dream in peace

Trust love

Believe

We tremble and spin

Suspended within

Free

The dream within

The voice is calling a song

A prayer

From deep inside you

To guide you

Be

The dream within

The light is shining

I fly upon the wind

Salvation begins

Look beyond

Where hearts can see

Dream in peace

Trust love

Believe

We tremble and spin

Suspended within

[Instrumentals and Vocalization]

Free

The dream within

The stars are crying

A tear

A sigh

Escapes from heaven

And worlds end

(The team quickly position themselves in a series of three semicircles, orchestral-style)

[Sopranos]

Fithos

Lusec

Wecos

Vinosec

[Baritones]

Fithos

Lusec

Wecos

Vinosec

[All]

Fithos

Lusec

Wecos

Vinosec

[Baritones & Altos]

Excitate vos e somno, liberi mei

Cunae sunt non

[Each word alternates between Baritones and Altos]

Excitate vos e somno, liberi fatali

Somnus est non

[Sopranos and Tenors]

Surgite

Invenite

[Baritones]

Veni hortum veritatis

[Sopranos and Altos]

Horti verna veritatis

[All]

Ardente veritate

Urite mala mundi

Ardente veritate

Incendite tenebras mundi

[Baritones and Tenors]

Valete liberi

[Tenors, Altos, and Sopranos

Diebus fatalibus

[Baritones]

Fithos lusec wecos vinosec

[Baritones & Tenors]

Fithos lusec wecos vinosec

[Baritones, Tenors, and Altos]

Fithos lusec wecos vinosec

[All]

Fithos lusec wecos vinosec

Ahhhh, aaahhhhhhh, aaaaahhhhhhhhhh

Through the crowd's cheering, the New Directions just stare at each other. Through the din Mr. Schue and Rachel lock eyes and share a knowing nod. Quinn looks to the stage to see Sunshine and Dylan visibly relax for a second until she sees the look on Goolsby's face. She turns back to her friends and sees Noah trying to calm down an agitated Kurt.

"That's not fair!" Kurt's crying as he tries to break free from Noah's embrace. "They shouldn't be allowed to do operatic pieces!"

"They're not Kurt," Will whispers. "They're not going to win, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't give it our all," he finishes as he wrings his hands. "Let's get ready to perform!"

(_)

"I can't believe you wrote that song yourself," Finn says as he spies the crowd. "It's amazing."

"Actually, I had a little help," Rachel says as she gently places a hand on Finn's arm, tugging him to his spot on the stage behind the curtain. "Remember that day last week when Quinn and I ditched?" She waits for his nod before continuing. "We went to Carmel, and... we didn't know _what _they were going to be doing, but... Sunshine actually wrote the song."

"Wait, what?" Finn says as he tries not to shout it. "I thought you **hated **her!"

"So did I, but, she _is _really nice," Rachel says. "Just, listen to the song, okay? She wrote it for someone else, but I'm singing it for you." Before he can respond they're announced, and Rachel walks around the curtain to the center of the stage.

[Rachel]

All my life I've waited for the right moment to let you know,

I don't wanna let you go,

But now I've realized there's just no perfect time

To confess how I feel,

This much I know is real

So I'll refuse to waste one more second without you knowin' my heart

Baby, 'cause I don't need anything else but your love,

Nothing but you means a thing to me,

I'm incomplete

When you're not there,

Holding me, touching me I swear

All of the rest could just disappear

And I wouldn't even care,

As long as you're there.

Take these words,

Don't let them go unheard,

This is me reaching out,

I hope you can hear it now

'Cause, baby my heart said stay,

Take it, it's yours to break

I'd rather try and lose,

Than keep this love from you, yeah

So I'll refuse to waste one more second without you knowin' my heart

Baby, 'cause I don't need anything else but your love,

Nothing but you means a thing to me,

I'm incomplete

When you're not there,

Holding me, touching me I swear

All of the rest could just disappear

And I wouldn't even care,

As long as you're there.

Each day and night,

That I've kept this a secret,

It'd kill me; it's time to share what I feel inside

[The rest of the club joins in the background vocals with Mercedes and Kurt backing up Rachel]

I don't need anything else but your love,

Nothing but you means a thing to me,

I'm incomplete

When you're not there,

Holding me, touching me I swear

All of the rest could just disappear

And I wouldn't even care,

As long as you're there...

As long as you're there...

[Rachel and Quinn share the last notes]

Ohh...

The audience is going crazy with cheers and whistles, and even from the stage they can see Dylan and Sunshine giving genuine smiles of approval with looks of pride from the other members of Vocal Adrenaline. Goolsby looks absolutely pissed with an even deeper scrawl on his face – and it's obviously possible. As the crowd's not stopping anytime soon, they launch into their next number.

[Tina]

Yeah, you may think that I'm a zero

But, hey, everyone you wanna be

Probably started off like me

You may say that I'm a freakshow (I don't care)

But, hey, give me just a little time

I bet you're gonna change your mind

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way

It ain't so hard to take, that's right

'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name

And I'll just look away, that's right

[All]

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

[Kurt]

(Dave's face is sad-blank as he pushes Kurt)

Push me up against the locker

And hey, all I do is shake it off

I'll get you back when I'm your boss

I'm not thinkin' 'bout you haters

'Cause hey, I could be a superstar

I'll see you when you wash my car

[Tina]

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way

It ain't so hard to take, that's right

'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name

And I'll just look away, that's right

[All]

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

A loser like me

Hey, you, over there

Keep the L up-up in the air

Hey, you, over there

Keep the L up, 'cause I don't care

You can throw your sticks, and you can throw your stones

Like a rocket, just watch me go

Yeah, l-o-s-e-r

I can only be who I are

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me

A loser like me

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth

So everyone can hear

Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down

Baby, I don't care

Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out

You wanna be

You wanna be

A loser like me (A loser like me)

A loser like me (A loser like me)

(On the last line they toss red and green confetti)

A loser like me

The applause is deafening this time, and after a polite amount of time they walk offstage, smiling and trembling with both joy and the flood of life to their egos. Once in the green room they break into their own applause and celebration. Even if somehow Aural Intensity managed to pull a win, it didn't matter. They knew, this band of unlikely friends, that they can bring down a house if they just worked together. Only a loud whistle makes them stop long enough to see the other coach standing in their doorway, two other people behind him.

"Stealing other people's songs, that's not a dirty trick," Goolsby sneers as he shows his revulsion at the display of kids being happy.

"**I **gave them the song because _**you **_wouldn't let me sing it!" Sunshine says as she slaps the back of his head, making him lose his balance.

"I hope you like being a mall cop," Dylan says as he painfully slaps the man on the back. "Because you'll never do anything performing arts related ever again. Great job guys, see you later." He then drags the douche-bag away and closes the door, leaving the New Directions to begin a riotous round of belly laughs and full-on guffawing. They manage to settle down to just a few random giggles and some stray tears of joy as they take to stage to see just what was going on.

"Before we announce the winners," begins Tammy Jean Albertson, "I'd like to stress the _very _harmful nature of alcohol and that it was a mistake to pass the twenty-first Amendment. Our presenter has sadly passed out and is being rushed to the hospital."

After the murmurs die down she continues. "It seems that there's a rule that opera and similar pieces can't be used, because it requires more than amateur training to sing them... or just a lot of prayer and love for Jesus! It doesn't matter. Vocal Adrenaline is disqualified," she says as she turns to face them. "So if you could... okay then!" she tries to inform them, but they were already leaving the stage when she mentioned Jesus. "This year's winners are the New Directions! Congratulations you heathen queers!" She hands over an envelope and quickly runs offstage as an older man hands both remaining teams their trophies.

The ride back to McKinley is dead silent, not even a pair of earbuds can be heard.


	12. IMPORTANT: Petition for FFN

****This is a petition and notice of FFN's intent to remove and delete all content (stories) with MA content: This would be **ALL STORIES WITH DESCRIPTIONS OF SEX AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE.**

**My own additions will be on the bottom after _Puckurt-VS-Kurtofsky's P.S._**

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

Psudocode_Samurai

Rocketman1728

dracohalo117

VFSNAKE

Agato the Venom Host

Jay Frost

SamCrow

Blood Brandy

Dusk666

Hisea Ori

The Dark Graven

BlackRevenant

Lord Orion Salazar Black

Sakusha Saelbu

Horocrux

socras01

Kumo no Makoto

Biskoff

Korraganitar the NightShadow

NightInk

Lazruth

ragnrock kyuubi

SpiritWriterXXX

Ace6151

FleeingReality

Harufu

Exiled crow

Slifer1988

Dee Laynter

Angeldoctor

Final Black Getsuga

ZamielRaizunto

Fenris187

blood enraged

arashiXnoXkami

Masane Amaha's King

Blueexorist

Nero Angelo Sparda

Sharkteeth

DAPC

Kyuubi16

bunji the wolf

EternalKnight219

Shi Kami The Murderous Prodigy

DeathNoteMaker

Nostalgic Remedy

Paco the Taco Maker

Slayer of Destiny

MisaPummelman

Brunette Chic

Puckurt-VS-Kurtofsky

Frost58

If you could do what some other authors have done and post this petition as a temporary new chapter on some of your stories to help spreed the word? It would help a lot it's how I found out about this.

Puckurt-VS-Kurtofsky P.S. I completely agree with everything that has been written above. There should be a new rating button added and our stories should be left alone. It is unfair to punish the writer's because of what some anon reviewers say or complain about. I feel that if it is such a big deal then FFN should do what Twilighted did and make it so you can't read any fics unless you sign in, if some anon reviwers and readers truly like the fics they are reading then they should just get an account. It's free and nothing can be added but what they want to be added.

Frost58:P.S. - We do our best to add disclaimers to the beginning of our chapters for content, or at least the first chapter of a story. Many readers are actively _looking _for content that could be regarded as "questionable" or "offensive." Abusive reviewers, I have found, tend to be anonymous, and look for content that will offend them _personally. _Adding an MA rating and requiring that readers login to read it would solve many issues. As for possible liability – see FaceBook. Or any site that states they are age-restricted, yet have many persons join the site without being beyond the proper threshold.

I have many favorite stories and fellow authors who would have their work lost for quite some time should this purge occur. I would also add that _**MANY **_entire worlds would have to be removed as well, including Oz, Dexter, The Outer Limits, Ranma½, All Tenchi, and Sin City would be just a few. Please be rational with this decision and try to side with the authors – after all, we bring traffic to your site and create the content...


	13. Helping Hands

Sorry for taking this long, but writing a good story takes time. It also isn't helping that somehow almost every bus and train I've taken this week has shit for shocks.

Umm... can you guess what I forgot about in my outline? If you guessed Prom... *hugs*! The next chapter will be _Rumours_ and _Prom_, this one is _Night of Neglect_ and _Born this Way_. I'm glad I didn't do more songs, because... **WOW!** This is a _HUGE_ chapter!

Many of the jibbing between Santana, Rachel, and Tina are directly from the script of the show, with my added twists.

NAGM Playlist: tinyurl NAGM

Dirty Vaudeville, Seth McFarlane (Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy, 2009)

Silent Legacy, Melissa Etheridge (Yes I Am, Island: 1993)

* * *

><p><span>Helping Hands<span>

_ "_I think the concert's a good idea," Burt says as he checks the tension on a spark plug.

"I don't know dad," Kurt replies as he double-checks the alignment of the same car's fuel injector. "Our non-competition performances tend to be more miss than hit."

After putting the torque wrench back on the table Burt stares at his son through the engine of the 2002 Camry. "Well _I've _always enjoyed seeing you guys perform. Even when Puckerman was a total ass."

"Hey, ahh, right here?" Noah says as he aligns the tires of a 2009 Civic. "And totally dating your son, _dad_!"

"And it's been a totally smooth relationship with **no **issues at all," Burt jokes as he walks to the storage room.

Noah takes a minute to just stare and admire Kurt from above the engine block. Kurt looks up for a second and winks before picking up a calibrator. "This is a totally new form of hot babe," Noah says with a seductive smirk.

Kurt sets the device on his chest and pushes himself from under the car, smirking himself. "Yeah, nothing like pure synthetic petroleum smeared over perfect pores to bring out the sexy." He then tosses the brick on a nearby table and places a quick kiss to Noah's cheek, leaving a grease spot.

"I thought you didn't like exhibitionism?" Noah croons to Kurt's retreating form. He takes the torque wrench Burt was using and makes sure he didn't over-tighten the bolts on the Civic.

"Never said I didn't," Kurt deadpans, earning a knowing smirk from the guy he was helping at the register. "A rotation, oil change, brake alignment... $89.72." Kurt takes the check and processes it faster than Noah's ever seen it done, and sticks it under the drawer once endorsed. "Go easy on those turns Mr. Capilin – those tires shouldn't be that worn. We barely replaced them a year ago." He then walks back to the Camry and turns it over.

"I can't believe it," Noah says as he pulls Kurt into a hug from behind.

"What, that I can work on cars?" Kurt says with an air of annoyance.

"Nah, I'm used to that," Noah replies as he nuzzles the slimmer teen's neck. "That you talk cars with more ease than music."

Kurt allows himself to enjoy this for just a second before breaking the embrace. "As much as I love this Noah, we _do _have work to do."

Noah pouts for a few seconds, giving Kurt the sad-puppy face. Before Kurt can protest he smiles and heads over to a newer Suburban. "You're right," as he turns around he smirks. "Then we can have an extra-long bath at my place..."

"Or..." Kurt teases as he kills the ignition of the Camry and gets it ready for pickup. "We can do it at **my **place and not have to rush anything," he offers with a raised eyebrow and a sultry smirk.

_Damn, he's **sooo **fucking hot! Can't believe I never noticed for so long..._

(_)

"This hearing of the Allen County Unified School District is called to order," the 40-ish year old woman declares. "We are hearing case number C-4439-32-J, Petition for Alteration of Student Disciplinary Actions."

"Young sirs and ladies, this is... _unusual_ at best," an older man with thinning salt and pepper hair states. "Your original plan was for a Zero-Tolerance policy, correct?"

"Yes sir," Dylan replies. "But it was agreed to be... too drastic a change."

"I see. Could you explain the Student Responsibility Center to us? And for future references to that it will simply be SRC," states a 30-something young woman, dressed conservatively and formal.

"Of course," Rachel replies as she quickly scans the shared notes on the tablets. "Rather than burden parents or caretakers with the suspension of their children, one to four classrooms that are rarely or never used, will be used to house students who have been bullying students or breaking other school rules, for the entire day."

"Such as ditching, vandalizing school property, or cheating on coursework," Sunshine finishes. "And I understand I won't be attending after this semester, but my last school in Leyte had a similar one."

"What about staff resources?" another older man asks. "You can't expect teachers or counselors to just sit in a classroom and make students stay awake and do work, do you?"

"Since we're using William McKinley as an example," Blaine starts as he shows the council which page to turn to, "they have five classrooms they aren't using for classes either this year or next year. There are also six teacher that are working part time."

"Those teachers, combined with the unoccupied classrooms," Dylan continues, "can be divided into two classrooms for the SRC with two teachers promoted to full-time, two teachers dedicated to the SRC, and two remaining to float between the two."

"What about the class size?" the woman who opened the meeting asks. "Wouldn't that increase the size of existing classes?"

"Not at all," Rachel plunges in. "We've already gone over the attendance records and have adjusted the schedule accordingly. Just examine what we have on page 29."

The council looks over the papers, looking to and pointing at each other. After several minutes and furious taps on calculators and laptops, they look to the five teens. A woman who hasn't spoken yet, who looks like she could be the embodiment of 'home-schooler,' answers. "Is there a specific... _demographic,_ this policy's designed to assist?"

Dylan frowns but speaks for the group. "Some of us have been _forced _to transfer to private institutions because the bullying and hazing were either ignored or passively _encouraged _as 'just a part of growing up.' That, frankly, is bullshit. We, students, are in school to _learn,_ not be harassed into depression, mania, murdered by suicide, or to completely snap and shoot the bullies and their passive accomplices."

"Suicide isn't murder," the prim woman replies. "And I don't approve of your using language like that in front of your elders."

"Neither do I ma'am," Rachel apologizes for Dylan. "But he's right about suicide. It's a passive-aggressive method for a person or a group to eliminate a person they are too cowardly to murder themselves. If you don't believe me I'm sure you have access to sociologists and social psychologists."

"And quite honestly," Sunshine adds. "With the **lack **of action to abate or the complete ignorance of the issue, every faculty member, along with every elected board member, has culpability. Simply said, you could all go to prison for being accessories to murder."

"If you'll turn to the page with the abstract of the plan," Blaine says with a smirk, "you'll notice the law firm we contacted to format the proposal. I'm fairly certain you know them."

All five members faces' blanch at the page when they turn to it. "Is this..." the formally-dressed woman trails off.

"Tyler, Dyson, Melchior & Associates," Rachel replies with a satisfied grin. "I've actually had several lunches and dinners with Tyler and Melchior personally. And yes, we know they're the ones used to force you to accept Lauren Zizes on the wrestling team... and a $25,000 fine for discrimination."

Quinn, who has remained silent, raises an eyebrow, her lips a thin, grim line. "So, may I assume we can try this pilot program, say, starting next Monday? It _**would **_be much faster, easier, and _safer for your careers _to agree now."

A unified declaration of "Motion Adopted!" is echoed and the meeting dismissed, the persons at the semicircle of podiums rushing to leave. The five teens smile and share a quick hug before leaving, working on their story to tell their respective friends.

(_)

"You're so hot when you're all mussed up babe," Noah says as he kisses Kurt, hands down both back pockets of his jeans.

"God your voice is sexy like that," Kurt pants as he slides his hands under Noah's A-shirt. "Deep and rich with lust."

"You too babe," Noah says as he moves his hands from the pockets to inside the waistband. "So fucking gorgeous..." he trails off as he lets Kurt bite his neck. They break apart when both of their phones vibrate at the same time.

"Cockblockers," Noah mutters as he grabs his phone, almost dropping it when Kurt begins to mouth him through his jeans.

"It's from Quinn, Dave, and Rachel," Noah moans out, slamming the back of his head into the wall. "Babe, we should – ggaahh!" he tries to say, but Kurt has somehow gotten Puckzilla out of his boxers and into his mouth so quickly Noah didn't notice. "Ba-be... gonna... aarrrggg!" he shudders as he releases, babbling incoherently.

Standing and tucking _his _Puckzilla back into Noah's boxers, Kurt presses a hard kiss to Noah's lips, instantly making it deep. He can feel Noah moan and purr into his mouth, passively participating. He breaks the kiss, smiling. "Auditorium, right?" Upon the absent nod Kurt grabs their bags and pulls Noah with him.

Within a few rows of lockers they run into Tina and Mike, and for a second they look like they just got caught stealing a car. Kurt and Noah both share a smirk.

"Why so guilty guys?" Kurt asks, a playful gleam in his eyes.

"N-no, not guil-guilty," Mike stammers, looking away.

"Why so relaxed, _dudes_?" Tina retorts, a deviously pleased look on her face.

"No reason," Noah calmly replies, licking his lips.

The four begin laughing as they walk to the auditorium, laughing and sharing knowing smirks. By the time they get there Tina's surprised that _Kurt _topped first and Mike's **still **blushing about the mention of swallowing, much less _who's _doing it.

"I always thought you'd be, I don't know, _prudish_," Tina says as she grabs the handle to the door.

"What, me?" Kurt says, not in the least surprised.

"Well, you don't exactly scream _talk dirty to me_," Mike replies as he gives Tina a peck on her cheek.

"Did you _not _hear me describe how hot our first time was?" Kurt playfully sings as he opens the other door and walks through, Noah grabbing the back of his waistband to be pulled forward. They hear Tina say 'hot' and Mike gasp before they run to the other couple's side. The sight on stage is confusing.

"Quinn, what's going on here?" Sam asks as she places a kiss to his cheek and takes the stage.

"Rachel, didn't you send Sunshine to a crack-house?" Finn asks, confused.

Blaine is trying to get Dave to leave the stage, but he's not budging. Dylan hugs Quinn when she reaches them, and laughs when Nick kisses her hand. Nick stands back and raises his hands in surrender when Sam starts to move to the stage.

"Even though the bullying has come to a slow crawl," Dylan begins, "you still have trouble with the concert."

"We've only sold about twenty tickets, and that isn't going to get us much," Rachel says as she looks to the assemblage of gleeks. "So, we've decided to work together."

"Just Dylan, Sunshine, Nick, and myself," Blaine says, looking for approval.

"Vocal Adrenaline's been disbanded for the rest of the year," Sunshine says with a deep sense of conflict. "Until then, we're free to do what we want, and we want to help you."

"Excuse me, but, what the hell are you talking about?" Mercedes asks. "We only won against you because you got disqualified for singing opera."

"Yeah, why should we let you help us?" Santana adds, getting a pissed off look from Brittany. That causes her to shrink back into her seat.

"We have our reasons," Nick says, hurt.

"And you won because you sung an awesome song written by Sunny and composed by me," Dylan says. "With our help you can get..." he trails off as he check his phone. "300 people to buy tickets."

"At $25 a ticket, that's," Artie trails off as he does some mental math.

"$7,500," Mike answers nonchalantly.

"But this only seats 196 people at a time," Tina says as she looks around, smiling sadly.

"Then we'll just have to sing for two nights," Rachel says. "We're all good enough to do it, and it's good practice for Nationals."

Murmurs erupt between everyone, some smiling and others wincing at having two of their nights disrupted. It's finally settled that they'll extend the concert to Friday and Saturday night, and the set list. Mercedes will close first, then Rachel, and the guests will open the second night. Mr. Schue reluctantly agrees to allow a dirty vaudeville between Blaine and Nick, but only at the insistence of Holly. The first night will open with an 80's break-dancing number sung by Sunshine with Dave and Mike dancing. Within the next 45 minutes all 300 tickets sell out. After making another 72, those sell out before the schoolday ends.

(_)

"That was amazing Mercedes!" Rachel squeals as she wraps her in a crushing hug, smiling.

"Okay white girl, let go before you crush me!" Mercedes laughs as she takes the petite girl's arms. "Thank you for letting me have that."

"Any time Mercedes," Rachel warmly replies. "And Noah, that was an amazing song. What was it called again?"

"Scarlet Glasses," he says as he pulls Kurt into a hug while giving Dylan a hi-five. "I wrote it after... well, after Quinn and I hooked up."

"So, where are you guys staying?" Finn asks as he gives Rachel a hug. "I'm just guessing you're not going back to Akron just to come back here again in the morning."

"We were just going to get a hotel," Sunshine says. "Blaine and Nick can go back to Dalton, but that's a ways too..."

"Well, the guys were going to go to Mike's for some Halo and Call of Duty," Artie says as he looks to make sure they were okay with it.

"And my mom said we can have a girls night at my place," Brittany adds as she looks to Santana and Sunshine.

"How about this:" Dylan starts. "Sunshine, you go with the girls to Rachel's, if her dad's say it's okay, Blaine stays at Dave's, and Nick joins the guys. I mention Rachel's because I hear she has an amazing Oscar-Viewing room as a basement."

"What about you though?" Noah says, giving a questioning look.

"Nick's taking my place. I'll be fine," Dylan replies as he checks his phone. "Besides, I don't want to totally p0wn you guys in person just yet."

"Not a chance of happening, but if you're sure," Mike says as he turns to the guys to run through the maps they're going to try out.

"Nah dude, you can stay with us," Noah says as he plants a kiss to Kurt's forehead. "You don't mind the couch, do you bro?"

"That's fine," the hulking teen replies. "Is that okay with you Kurt?"

"Not a problem," he replies. "Mom and dad are out on a state-wide suppliers conference, so it's okay."

"Okay, so everyone wins!" Rachel squeals.

"Umm, there's something we need to tell you guys," Sunshine says sheepishly. "Dylan, Blaine, and I are, umm..."

"We're transferring to McKinley, starting Monday," Blaine finishes.

"Assuming Figgins actually _listens _to the Board of Education and starts the policy we came up with," Dylan says, looking to Rachel and Quinn.

"Wait, the Student Responsibility Center thing?" Santana asks, half-proud, half-annoyed.

"The trio of evil isn't the only force to be reckoned with," Quinn says as she pulls Rachel into a hug. "C'mon, we need to get our stuff ready for our sleep-overs!"

"Guys don't have sleep-overs!" Dave protests as he's taken away by Blaine, a playful smirk plastered across his face.

(_)

"Wait, Kurt," Noah asks as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "_That's_ why he's showering down here?"

"I'm not complaining about you sweets," Kurt replies. "I just want to have a little fun. And I only have you and my Spencer Reed dildo & Brent Everett fleshlight as comparisons."

"I'm bigger, right?" Noah asks a little too seriously. Kurt replies with a toothy smile and a kiss, one that pushes them into the couch. Their make-out session obscures the turning off of the shower, breaking up only when they feel another pair of eyes upon them.

"Don't let me stop you guys," Dylan smirks as he tosses his towel into the hamper, leaving his silk sleeping pants and furry torso in full view. As Kurt and Noah slowly get up he watches them and sees the tension, but mostly from Noah, who, brother or not, is taking in the swinging bulge. "So I assume Kurt's the one what wants to try it?"

"Try what," Kurt squeaks out. "No one said anything about trying something."

"Umm, _you _did babe," Noah says as he places a kiss to the top of Kurt's head.

Dylan raises an eyebrow, exactly like a Vulcan would, as he replies. "I'm flattered Kurt, but this would be a little... _strange,_ for me."

"Because we're twinks?" Kurt asks, blushing and hanging his head.

"And partly because I view Puck as a brother," Dylan adds as he approaches the couple. "A hot brother, but..." he trails off as he locks eyes with Noah, seeing something there that was between hurt and anger.

"Babe," Noah asks while glaring at Dylan, "do you really want to do this?"

Kurt sighs and looks up into Noah's eyes, then down almost to the floor, but it hangs on the large bulge in Dylan's pants. "Not if it's going to be awkward. I don't want-"

"It'll be okay bro," Dylan says as he lifts Kurt's chin, seeing the embarrassment and intrigue in his eyes. He keeps eye contact as he continues speaking. "Puck, you want to do this for him?" He takes in the nod before lightly tracing his finger along Kurt's jaw. "And you're okay with this being just for fun?" He takes in Kurt's nod. "Then we need to set up a few rules."

"Rules?" Noah says as he tightens his grip on his lover. "Like, boundaries?"

"Exactly," Dylan says as he indicates for Noah to sit in front of Kurt as he slides in behind the pale singer. "Now, let me get this all out at one time, okay? My safe-word is _Calgon –_ **if **I say it, everything stops. I won't engage in rape fantasies... well, not with either of you anyway – no offense. And no watersports. Everything else is up for experimenting with."

"Dude," Noah sighs as he crumples into Kurt. "That's intense."

Kurt is shaking a little, blushing. "Umm, I was... umm, actually wanting too..."

"Try stuff with me and see if Puck would be into it?" Dylan prompts as he gently rubs the pale teen's shoulders. Kurt doesn't reply and instead begins to kneed Noah's back absently. "Like I said, it takes a lot to get my safe-word on, and I was _assuming _that's what you wanted."

"I know I'm starting to grow my hair back, but there's not enough to pull yet," Noah says as he kneeds Kurt's legs. "I think I can be into that," he says as a hand that _isn't _Kurt's lightly grasps his biceps.

"How about," Dylan says as he stands, pulling the other two with him, "we start with giving Kurt as much as he can feel?" He finishes by ghosting his lips over Kurt's, pulling Noah directly in front of him behind Kurt. Kurt let's out a whimper and moves just a fraction forward, sealing their lips. Noah lets out a startled gasp and begins to press kisses to the back of Kurt's neck.

"You're good," Kurt whispers as he tries to process both pairs of lips at once, gasping when Noah lightly bites just to the left of the nape. He lets out an airy moan when Dylan slides right and does the same just above his collarbone.

Dylan starts to unbutton the pajama top, slowly rubbing himself against Kurt's navel. Noah's eyes keep trying to glare at Dylan but can't stay focused with the nearly inaudible moans – good moans – coming from Kurt. After a minute Dylan begins to slide the top over Kurt's shoulders, revealing pale, flawless skin. "A perfect canvas," Dylan whispers into Kurt's ear, causing a shiver to run through Noah. The large teen lightly takes the shirt off with one hand while gently leading Noah's hand to the drawstring of Kurt's bottoms. The lack of cloth restraints causes Kurt's erection to bounce and bob against Dylan's covered member, earning a moan from the pale teen and a pleased growl from the larger one.

"This is actually hot," Noah croons as he brushes his hand between both of the other teen's erections, becoming hard himself. "Seeing another guy, making you moan. It's giving me ideas."

Dylan lightly pushes Noah away and lifts Kurt up, taking his leaking member right into his mouth, Kurt's legs draping down the red-head's back, his shoulders a living bench. Noah gets pulled into Kurt's backside, mouth right against his tight ring. Upon first contact between Noah's lips and Kurt's hole, all three teens let out a growl of ecstasy, being set alight with lust. Without moving Kurt, losing their balance, or breaking contact with him, Dylan and Noah position themselves to allow friction against their throbbing members.

"God!" Kurt gasps as Noah darts his tongue into him briefly. Dylan begins to open his mouth a little more, enough to start bringing in some of his scrotum. Without being able to communicate Noah slams his tongue into Kurt just as Dylan pulls in both of the soprano's testicles into his mouth, causing him to thrash back, screaming with pleasure. "You didn't even-**FUCK**!"

With Dylan supporting all of Kurt's weight, Noah runs his hands up Kurt's chest and down his sides. _I thought swallowing cum would be my limit, but __**fuck **__this is hot! I can __**feel **__every time he shakes, every ripple of his enjoyment..._Noah sticks his tongue in as far as he can, feeling around. He can feel slight tremors around his tongue, Kurt rocking his hips to find more stimulation.

No one loses their balance, and after Kurt's pace becomes frantic, he begins to pant, mumbling nonsense to himself. Dylan can feel the impending release of Kurt's orgasm and whips his hair in offering, which Kurt takes. He grinds down, forcing Noah deeper into him and thrusts forward, pulling the other teen's hair with a strength he didn't know he had.

"_**FUCK!**_" Kurt growls at the top of his lungs as he leans forward, almost crushing Dylan's head between his chin and stomach as he crashes down, crying through the most intense orgasm he's ever had. After the first shot is released from Kurt, Noah spills over, his cock pushed up by Dylan to fire at his chin. The mohawked teen loses his strength when Dylan touches him, and he resorts to clamping onto Kurt's hips to stay standing.

Without letting go of Kurt, Dylan manages to push Noah to the couch, then sets Kurt down. He then walks back to the hamper and pulls the towel he was using and sits on it, in front of them. The couple look to the bear's sleepwear, to each other, then him again.

"Did you?" Noah pants.

"No," Dylan says as he stands, strips, removes his phone, and tosses the pre-cum soaked garment into the hamper with a wet 'splunk.'

"Damn," Kurt whimpers, leaning into Noah. "Wait, what about you?"

"I can wait a few minutes," Dylan replies, smiling at the satisfied couple. He grabs the phone and brings up a picture. "This is from Wednesday."

Purt look at the screen long enough to see that it's an STD screen and that it's negative across the board. Kurt tosses the phone back near his guest. "Yippie."

After five minutes and a glass of water, Noah gets an idea and smirks. "Hey babe, you have another round in you?"

Kurt purrs in contentment, but nods. "Watcha got in mind?"

Noah turns to Dylan and smiles a shit-eating grin. "We're going to fuck you, at the same time, with your own lube."

Dylan's eyebrows shoot up, his eyes wide with shock. He stands, revealing two hands with pools of his own fluid in them.

"Sit on my bed," Kurt orders, dreamily. As he stands he becomes more focused. Dylan obeys the order and waits. When the couple takes a seat on either side of him, they dip their fingers into his palms and press at his entrance.

"Get us hard and wet, _now_,"Noah orders, pressing a finger in once there's contact on his cock. As Kurt slips a finger in himself he uses his other hand to rip Noah into a kiss, right above Dylan's head. As the two teens kiss Dylan begins to let out quiet, deep moans, still skiing. After another two fingers and a re-slicking on Dylan's stomach, the top teens order Dylan to stay silent. They smirk at the same time and slam their fourth fingers in, causing Dylan to buck two feet up.

They break their kiss, turning their attention to Dylan. They kiss along his sides, his lats, over his pecs. They take turns nipping at his collarbone and murmuring comforting words into his ears, waiting for him to relax. Once relaxed, they slide their fingers out and pull him to his knees.

"You're with me this time," Noah says as he slides into position under the furry, dripping teen. "Hope you don't mind." Upon Dylan's shake Noah moves the larger teen's hands behind him. "Line it up and have a seat."

"You're so hot like this Noah," Kurt sighs, rubbing Noah's legs. As the head of Noah's cock disappears into Dylan, Kurt scoots up and reaches around to begin pumping Dylan. Dylan bucks forward, causing Noah to slide completely into him. "Let it out!" Kurt orders against Dylan's ear.

"**Fuck**!" Dylan growls as he begins rocking into Kurt's hand, along Noah's length and girth. "Sooo good..."

Kurt takes his hand away and begins to stroke himself, licking his lips. He uses his other hand to push the other teen on top of his boyfriend. "It's okay. Kiss," he orders as he gives a final shove. He looks and allows the jealousy to wash away, knowing that they were all just having fun. He hears the moans and grunts coming from Noah and smiles. _Nowhere near as good as __**I **__am, is he? _Kurt smirks to himself.

"**Motherfucker-**" Dylan screams as Kurt enters him, arching back and pulling Noah with him, still kissing. Kurt clamps down on the hairy teen's hips and forces them down, nodding to Noah to rip Dylan back into the standard position.

"So hot," Noah mewls. "You're tight hole, my boyfriends' cock against mine..."

Kurt fists as much of the shoulder-length red hair he can and pulls, grunting. "You like having two twink cocks like this?" Kurt pants out, trying to keep his pace. He pulls against the long hair again, smiling.

"So _fucking __**much**_," Dylan cries, digging into Noah's shoulders. "Please, _faster_."

Without missing a beat the two increase their speed, finding a rhythm that allows them to choose the side they're rubbing together as they plow the bear between them. Dylan rises a fraction and instantly emits a nearly inaudible sound as both peckers slam across his prostate at the same time. Now able to see each other's faces clearly, they hold the bear in place and intentionally begin to make every stroke hit that spot.

"Please, I need to..." Dylan looks to Kurt, then looks Noah in the eyes. Kurt swipes a finger across the head and places the slicked finger into Noah's mouth, who's eyebrows raise unpleasantly.

"Too intense," Noah says as he begins to stroke the cock attached to the hot hole he's plowing. Kurt swipes a trail to his mouth and frowns, pressing against his ripped back.

"Too sweet," Kurt says as he begins to harshly _slam _into Dylan. "And you're not cumming until **we **do, got it?"

"Yes sir," Dylan whimpers, his eyes closed as tears escape.

"You still into this?" Noah asks as he increases both stroke speeds.

"I.. ahhh!" Dylan growls as he remembers to grind _down_, but not cum. "Yes master."

The other two teens smirk and begin thrusting as fast as their overloaded bodies allow, digging nails into skin and suckling hickies into flesh. "You know your place, don't you?" "So obedient, so good" the teens croon as they release, filling up the abused hole. When their seed should be seeping out, their cocks are crimped together as Dylan releases, crying, digging his nails into Kurt's arm and Noah's stomach. He spasms three times and falls onto Noah, catching himself with just enough space to not crush the other dark-skinned teen.

Kurt collapses on top of Dylan, his hands playing between his lats and Noah's sides. All three teens are panting to the point of wheezing. Dylan sees a towel near the dresser and pulls it to him, placing it between him and Noah to soak up the immense volume of his release.

"That... was unbelievable," Dylan manages to say through his heavy breathing.

"You're telling me," Noah chokes out, a hand on Kurt's arm, the other arm around the large back on top of him.

"I think I'm sexed out for the month," Kurt says, half asleep. "Sorry about your hair."

"'sgood," Dylan mumbles. "Never even thought of using the word."

"Really?" Noah says as he opens his eyes. "Because you were crying near the end."

Kurt's head snaps to look at Dylan's face and, seeing some lingering tears, wipes them away. "I shouldn't have-"

Dylan sloppily rests their weight on one arm and takes Kurt's hand in his other hand, pressing a kiss to it. "It's not you, or Puck, or _this_," he nods to their still-joined bodies. "It's me. It's... something I did before..."

"With Dave?" Noah finishes, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.

"Maybe we should've unloaded our baggage first, huh?" Kurt says as he tries to roll to the side, but begins to fall. Dylan and Noah catch him and sit up, finally untangling.

Dylan places a chaste kiss to Kurt's lips, turning the lithe teen's lips up into a smile. "I don't regret this. Do you?"

"I don't," Noah smirks, then hangs his head. "Not really anyway."

"I... No, I don't," Kurt replies. "But I'd wait a little longer to do it if we could do it over."

"**This **time I'll shower upstairs," Dylan says as he tosses both towels into the hamper. "Uh, should I _stay_ upstairs this time?"

Noah and Kurt look to each other, have another eye-conversation, then shrug. "Why bother?"

(_)

"Ladies and gentlemen," Sam announces. "Presenting a Vaudeville piece by our guests from Dalton Academy, Blaine Anderson and Nick Halverson!"

The boys enter the stage from opposite ends and wave to the audience. Their costumes are an homage to the two candy-cane stripped suits worn by typical Vaudeville performers in animation. They each move the mic stands away and nod to each other. Blaine speaks for the duo.

"Thank you for coming. This number is... _quite vulgar. _If you don't let your children watch Family Guy or South Park, please take one of the earmuffs we're passing out."

"This won't be a long number, so, without further delay," Nick finishes as he nods and takes his place.

[Both]

My gal has got two eyes of blue and, curls of brown

She always make me smile when I am, feeling down

Whenever I am with her I just grin like a clown

Because my gal's pussy is the smallest in town

She's like a beauty queen who wears a, shiny crown

And any time she sees that I am starting to frown

She's always got the thing to turn it upside down

'Cause my gal's pussy is the smallest in town

[Nick]

She's got a face without a trace of gloom I guarantee it

[Blaine]

Her muff's is sweet and so petite you've gotta squint your eyes to see it

[Both]

I'm such a happy fellow when she, comes around

She's always got a kiss when I am, feeling down

I wouldn't trade her in for any wealth or renown

'Cause my gal's pussy is the smallest in town

(Both teens begin a quick, simple tap number)

Small Bush!

There's genuine applause mixed with a few grimaces, with a whooping coming from a bulky red-head and the man sitting next to him. They exit the stage to allow Sam to pay tribute to Kenny G and are brought into a strong hug by Sunshine and Santana. The rest of the performances go on smoothly, even after an argument between Kurt and Dylan over pushing Kurt up on the setlist. After Brittany, Quinn, Finn, and Artie perform, an intermission's called.

"There will be a twenty minute intermission," Principal Figgins addresses the audience. "Please enjoy the refreshments we have available, courtesy of Richards Catering. All proceeds from concession sells benefit our Academic Decathlon team."

In the green room, everyone's animated and talking about how well this has turned out. Even Coach Sylvester's congratulating the performances so far. It's been going along so well that even Purt and Dlaine have kept their hands to themselves – other than a few stolen kisses.

"Hey, Dylan?" Blaine asks as he changes into more comfortable clothes.

"Yeah?"

"Umm, would your dad by any chance be dating a Japanese guy?" Blaine asks hesitantly.

"He's _married _to a Japanese guy," Dylan replies with little emotion. "May I ask why you're asking?"

"I think they're here, in the fourth row," Nick answers as he re-coifs his hair.

"I saw them taking, I guess their son, into the hallway," Artie says as he bends to remove the flashers he'd added to his wheelchair. "Little guy prolly needed a bathroom break."

Dylan, Noah, Kurt, and Dave share a look with each other, each of the McKinley boys nodding slightly. The muscular teen nods his head, lets out a sigh, and heads to the most likely bathroom they'd use. After walking past five rows of seats, a short, dark-skinned boy with deep red hair almost bumps into him. The boy looks confused and scared.

"Elliot?" Dylan asks as he kneels down. "What's wrong? Where's Daddy and Papa?"

"Someone took them, and a big black guy," he answers, throwing himself into Dylan.

Dylan wraps his arms around his brother and stands, marching back to the green room. "Did you see any of the guys Elliot? Their pants or heads."

"They were bald," he says quickly, "and they had cammie jackets and lots of pockets, and one of them had a _gun!_"

The young boy says this just as they enter the room, causing all conversations to stop, staring at the obviously related boys. They're staring at the two, unsure of what to say. Dylan only lets this continue for a few seconds.

"Blaine," Dylan says, voice imperfectly steady. "Take care of my brother," he finishes as he unwraps the boy from his chest and hands him over. "Uncle Blaine's going to keep you safe along with my friends. Dave, come with me. Everyone else, stay put. I mean it! And no cops."

"Wait what's going on?" Rachel asks as she tries to make sense of what's happening.

"Who has a gun?" Finn asks, his face paling.

"I thought we were past this?" Kurt says as he takes a step into Noah's embrace.

"We were past this," Dave says. "With two 'normal guys,' from their perspective, being out, they should have given up."

"It's skinheads that took my dads and Azimio, and I'm getting them back," Dylan says, anger rising in his voice. "And I mean it: Stay here and don't fucking call anyone," he reminds them as he drags Dave through the back exit. After moving several dozen yards away from the building he reaches under his pant legs and pulls two small bars with prongs on one end, tucking them under the cuffs of his shirt. He then dons a pair of sheer leather gloves.

Footsteps can be heard and Dylan spins around to see Coach Beiste coming toward them. "Are you insane? You can't do this alone! They have a **gun**!"

"If I don't do this alone, people are going to die!" Dylan snaps, turning the stout woman around. "It's my family and I _won't _put them in any more danger than they're already in. Go away – I know what I'm doing."

She sighs as she walks back to the door, taking a final look at the two teens. She sees Dylan grab his phone and nearly break it. He looks back to her with a scrawl before jogging toward the football field.

Once to the furthest end of the field the three kidnapped men can be seen, on their knees, bound, and gagged. Each kidnapper is playing with a knife, trailing it just inches away from their victims' arms and necks. They stop and stare at the two teens approaching, who stop a hundred feet away.

"I don't give a shit what you have to say micro-dicks," Dylan says, trying to keep his emotions in check. "My friend will be taking the black kid. Once they're clear, I'm yours."

"You a fag too?" the fattest, and the one with a gun in his hand says. "A whole family? What, the gook used to be a woman?"

"He's Japanese, dumb fuck. I'm half Lebanese."

"Why should we listen to you, lying faggot?" the tallest, and scrawniest seethes.

Dylan has to stop Dave from running over or speaking, but replies. "Who cares about bashing blacks anymore? You don't want to fuck up a family of fags? Put us 'in our place?'"

The fat man smirks and waves his gun in Azimio's direction. "Let the nigger go."

They keep his hands bound and his mouth gagged, but pull him up and push him away. Dylan matches the lumbering teen's speed by half, with Dave behind him. Once crossed Dylan whispers to the pair to speed away while he increases his pace. He stands just outside of their clutches until his friend and _his _friend are far enough into the surrounding darkness.

"You want me on my knees?" Dylan asks snidely. "Show me what a **real **man's cock smells and tastes like?" He's rewarded with a backhand with the gun by the fat guy, who then shoves the muzzle into the teen's chest. Dylan crosses his hands and flips the Jericho DA and shoves their hands forward and down. The trigger moves back, sending a round into the lardass' solar plexus. Dylan shoves the man forward and flicks his wrists, extending the collapsible batons he hid earlier. They make contact with the necks of the other two men with a crackle, making them convulse.

He shoves the ends of the batons into the men's crotch and twists again, making them silently scream as they convulse again. "Pick your sorry asses up and get the fuck out of my city. If I see any of you again I won't hesitate to kill you. Even in front of your family." He shoves down on the batons, collapsing them back into their stealthy state. "You're small-minded, worthless, bigots, and I'm tired of dealing with your inability to accept the world after the Industrial Revolution. And **GOD**, if _she _exists, will sort this out on **her **terms, not yours." He unties his fathers and stands them up, nodding.

As the men hap-hazardly stand and begin to drag their friend away, Dylan stashes the gun in a hidden pocket after unchambering the bullet and pulling the clip. Dave and Azimio run to them, terrified.

"Are you okay man?" Azimio cries. "I heard a gunshot!"

"Yeah, forensics won't be able to determine it's me though," Dylan replies as he removes this gloves. "You got lighter fluid on you dads?"

Kenji takes the gloves and pulls out a small cylinder, squirting it inside the gloves. Max sets one of his 777's on fire and tosses it to the gloves, smiling when they begin burning.

"What the hell?" Dave asks, staring wide-eyed.

"That gets rid of the gun powder residue," Azimio says, impressed. "You know your shit."

"I said I knew what I was doing," Dylan says. "Let's get back to the concert. Elliot needs to see his daddies."

(_)

"That was a great performance Kurt, thank you," Sam says as he reads the setlist. "And next we have Dylan Logan from Carmel High School, singing Queen Latifah's _Runnin'._"

As Dylan takes the stage be bows and waves, waiting for the room to quiet. "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. I have something to announce though." He sighs before continuing. "Not even half an hour ago three men took my dads and a friend hostage, right here in this building." He ignores the gasps. "My little brother, who I met for the first time when he came in panicked, told me what happened. They took my dads because, well, they're married to each other. They took my friend because he's black. This _needs to end, __**NOW**_!" he screams into the microphone. "If you honestly believe being gay's a sin, fine, whatever. That's for God to judge us on, not you. Think it's a choice? It isn't. And I mean this – if any of you ask one more time when I chose to be gay, I'll ask when you chose to be straight. If you answer that it wasn't a choice, I'm going to break your jaw in ten places. Skin color? It's no deal – get over it."

"Back to the concert. While I practically worship the ground Queen Latifah graces with her presence, I'm choosing a different song. She's just as neglected despite her talent. I present to you, Silent Legacy by Melissa Etheridge."

(Dylan slings an acoustic guitar over his shoulder and plays as the band backs him up)

Why did you steal the matches

From the one room motel

Once they gave you answers

Now they give you hell

They will never understand

They wonder where did they go wrong

How could you be so selfish

Why can't you get along

(Dylan looks from his guitar to the audience, appearing to be silently praying)

And as you pray in your darkness

For wings to set you free

You are bound to your silent legacy

(His face is almost imperceptibly happy, the line of his lips are not _quite _flat)

You've seen it in the movies

And you've heard it on the street

Craving the affection

Your blood is full of heat

They don't listen to your reasons

(He hangs his head in disapproval)

As original as sin

Deny all that you feel

And they will bring you home again

(His gaze returns to the audience, his features slightly resigned and depressed)

And as you pray in your darkness

For wings to set you free

You are bound to your silent legacy

Your body is alive

But no one told you what you'd feel

The empty aching hours

Trying to conceal

The natural progression

Is the coming of your age

But they cover it with shame

And turn it into rage

(His gaze at the audience is now building from depression to annoyance)

And as you pray in your darkness

For wings to set you free

You are bound to your silent legacy

(His gaze is now a glare, eyes and face filled with desperate anger, tears building over his vision)

You are digging for the answers

Until your fingers bleed

To satisfy the hunger

To satiate the need

They feed you on the guilt

To keep you humble keep you low

Some man and myth they made up

A thousand years ago

(He is now openly crying, tears pouring down his face, face a deep scarlet red, voice trembling)

And as you pray in your darkness

For wings to set you free

You are bound to your silent legacy

(He calms to a point where his previous rage is now cautionary, as if he's addressing his own children)

Mothers tell your children

Be quick you must be strong

(He looks to the ceiling, nodding)

Life is full of wonder

(A loving, accepting smile replaces the sneer)

Love is never wrong

Remember how they taught you

How much of it was fear

(His gaze across the audience is inviting and nudging, several attendees nodding in agreement)

Refuse to hand it down

The legacy stops here

Oh my child...

The audience applauds loudly, many of them crying. Some of the bullies who've attended with their families are nodding, fighting back tears. Azimio's whistling and clapping with vigor, not bothering to hide his tears. Max and Kenji are running after Elliot, who runs up the stage and jumps into Dylan's arms. As the men come on stage, the small boy is wiping Dylan's tears away with a wadded-up napkin. When the two men stand to each side of their sons, the audience's applause jumps up another notch. Dylan places a kiss to his brother's forehead and walks off stage, smiling at the teary-eyed gleeks.

"I'm sorry Rachel," Dylan says as he hugs Elliot. "I didn't mean to bring down the house."

She hugs him, holding on. "It's okay. I agree with your message."

(_)

"Okay everyone, I think you know our newest members," Mr. Schue says as he waves his hands to the three teens. "Blaine, Sunshine, and Dylan!"

The cheering dies down quickly, Dylan taking a seat next to Dave, leaving a space for Blaine. As Sunshine takes a seat Between Rachel and Quinn, she asks how the concert went.

"We have enough for not only First-Class plane tickets, but also for a room for each pair of us," Mr. Schue replies. "Now that we're all here, let's get Booty Camp started!"

"_Booty Camp_?" Blaine mouths as the gleeks get in position to start the number

It goes well the first three run throughs. The fourth one's going well until Finn misses a mark, taking a step back when he isn't supposed to and swings his arm into Rachel's face. As soon as he feels the impact he stops and turns around to see Rachel on the ground, Quinn and Santana helping her sit and surveying the damage.

"She's bleeding!" Santana quietly shouts as Quinn pulls an arm around her neck to get her standing. "No puedo creer lo patoso él todavía lo es! Está el incluso poniendo atención?" Santana mutters as they help Rachel out of the rehearsal room to the parking lot.

"I just thought Kurt was stretching the truth about how uncoordinated you were," Dylan says as he looks into the hallway. "And they're _not _waiting around for anyone to follow them."

"OhMyGod! Will she be okay?" Finn fumbles out, panicking and pacing.

"She'll be fine, it's just a broken nose," Blaine says as he tries to get the tall teen to stand still.

"She might not be able to sing for a few days to a few weeks though," Sunshine says as she silently asks for a hug from Dylan.

"I remember the first time I broke _my _nose," Noah says. "I couldn't eat-" he's cut off by Kurt's hand over his mouth, his eyes registering that finishing that sentence was **not **a good idea.

Dylan smirks, along with Mr. Schue, Mike, and Artie. After some murmuring it's decided to call it a day and dismiss early.

"So, how's the living arrangement with you guys?" Sam asks as he walks with everyone to the parking lot.

"Dylan and I have a house, with my mom," Sunshine says as she updates her Twitter feed. "My mom has the second master bedroom, I have the attic, and Dylan has the basement."

"And it's totally awesome!" Dylan says as he fake-tickles his Dame. "There's _technically _no outside entrance, but I can sneak in through the kitchen."

"And why'd you _need _to sneak in?" Sunshine asks as she stage-punches him in the jaw, him overplaying the impact and spinning into a locker.

"Maybe he's a Rent Boy and needs to work _long, __**hard **_hours?" Kurt teases, shoving a hand into Noah's back pocket.

"Or maybe he's a serial killer that only targets skin-head jerks," Mercedes says, smirking.

"Yep, I'm going to rid the county of skin-head jerkoffs and make it look like accidents," Dylan jokes, using a dead-on High British accent. Everyone joins in on the laughter as they head home.

(_)

"So you want a nose job?" Santana says as she glares at Rachel.

"Look, I'm… I'm happy with the way that I look, okay? And I've embraced my nose. But let's say I wanted to have a slightly more demure nose. Like Quinn's or Sunshine's, for example. I-I would never change my appearance for vanity, but, I mean, the doctor said that it could possibly improve my talent, which would help us all for Nationals."

"I'm calling bullshit Berry," Santana retorts. "I don't like fakes, which is why I never bothered to look at Chewbacca over there," she continues, nodding over to Dave. "Now, could we all just get real here for a second? So Rachel's got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn't care because that's the _least _of her annoying traits. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things that we wouldn't change about ourselves? I mean, I'm sure that Sam's been at the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. Dylan's looked into wang-reduction surgery to stop people from smirking and thinking he has a dildo in his pants. Blaine's probably at least Google'd treatment options for having all of his Hobbit fur magically appear on his boyfriend _before _they started getting it on. And I'm definitely sure that Tina's looked into getting an eye de-slanting."

"Okay Satan," Tina turns to glare at the Latina girl. "That's _racist_! And after our last chance to get the Titans back a few months ago, I see that I **CAN **be a sex symbol!"

"Besides," Dave smirks, "you're forgetting that most of your tits are fake, little-miss-A-cup."

"Aren't you forgetting about last year when we had the carwash?" Finn says, standing with his hands in his pockets. "You told that Stanley guy that Barbara ignored demands for her to get a nose job?"

"Yeah, and you were taller than he was," Brittany added, smiling. "And I could have kicked his ass if he was any meaner."

"Guys!" Mr. Schue exclaims. "This is Rachel's choice, and just _having _this conversation makes me disappointed. So, since you won't listen to each other or anyone else, I have no choice. This week's assignment is once again GaGa. We're doing _Born this Way_!" The whoops and hollers are deafening.

(_)

"It got really mean in there guys," Will says as he wrinkles his nose at what Shannon pulls out of her bag. "It's like they couldn't stand each other at all!"

"Will, kids these days are shown nothing but perfection," Emma says as she carefully dries her _rinsed _fruit. "And somehow they have this dissonant view that they have to be perfect in opposing ways. It's a real button-pusher of an issue."

As Will's eyebrows shoot up Shannon finishes chewing a large chunk of her chicken's drumstick and swallows it. "It's like some of my guys Will. They see all of these famous football players that don't have a body-type range. They're either built like me or like that Dylan kid. Uhh, Azimio and Tim Tebow."

"Will, for boys this age it's a conundrum. If you're not an athlete you have to have highly defined muscles, but you can't have any _size._ And for girls it's worse than that: You have to have large, perfectly-shaped breasts and an unhealthily-thin yet toned body."

"I understand what you're trying to do though Will," Shannon says as she hits the half-way point in her meal. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I can get the silk-screening machine and we can do shirts!" Emma pips as she claps her hands.

"You two, are _great _friends," Will answers, sipping his coffee.

(_)

"Umm, okay," Sam winces as he shakes his head.

"Seriously?" Santana scoffs. "Because didn't this go out of fashion when you were kids and figured out tie-dye?"

"They're not _that _old San," Dylan says. "What if you can't pick a number one thing you hate about yourself?"

"Wait, what do hate about yourself?" Noah asks, staring at his 'brother'?

"How much time do you have?" Sunshine replies. "He can go on quite the self-reproaching streak if you let him."

"Give us some examples?" Blaine asks without being condescending.

"Well, I can be a controlling asshole, I have very little tact, I le-"

"Shut up!" Dave and Purt say at the same time, horrified.

"And I tend to be sexy all the time without trying, even if I know I shouldn't," Dylan finishes.

"Why would you even admit to that?" Santana says, eyebrows raised.

"I might not like my flaws," Dylan replies, an icy bitch-glare in place, "but I acknowledge that I do in fact _have _them."

"Whatever," Santana mutters, sulking as Brittany rubs her legs, rubbing her thumbs in lazy circles as Artie holds her hand.

"Okay, further comments will stop as I reveal a finished shirt," Ms. Pillsbury says, opening her button-up to reveal 'Ginger.' She's about to give a speech when Dylan and Santana both stand up. Dylan gives his best bitchface yet, causing her to sit back down.

"That isn't such a bad thing on this side of the pond," Dylan says as he steps forward, removing a travel bottle of sanitizer from his jacket and putting it back. "My hair's redder than yours, and if it wasn't for being half Middle-Eastern, I'd likely have skin somewhere between Kurt's and yours," he finishes as he takes her hands, looking into her eyes with warmth.

"I really don't like being touched," she whispers, slightly panicked.

"My hands aren't oily, and they're pretty clean. See?" he asks as he raises their hands, showing his to be clean enough to pass a food-service inspection, smelling of lavender and sandalwood. Seeing the distress in her eyes peaking, lower than what he's heard is normal, he lets go of one hand, using it to retrieve the sanitizer, placing it in her other hand. He steps into her personal space, just barely avoiding discomfort. "We all need a little help Ms. P. There's no shame in asking for it."

"Umm, okay," she stammers, using only a quarter of the bottle. "So, who wants to go first?"

(_)

"Hey, can we talk for a minute?" Dave asks as Noah walks off, talking to Blaine.

"Sure," Kurt replies as he closes his locker, "what's on your mind?"

"Heh, um," Dave stutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "You and Puck, uh, were you two... did you know what Dylan was going to say?"

"That he leaks like a broken water line, yes," Kurt says coolly, but still blushes. He lowers his voice as they walk toward the cafeteria. "We, uh, kinda had a three-way Friday night."

Dave stops in his tracks and falls against a row of lockers. He recovers quickly, but there's a look of disappointment in his eyes. "Uhh, hmm," he trails, not able to find his words.

"There's no real shame in it, I guess," Kurt says once Dave begins walking again. "It was a good outlet for... _getting some tension _out."

Dave laughs deeply for a few seconds, shaking his head. "And you thought you'd be a laughing stock for playing Frank-N-Furter when you guys did Rocky Horror!"

Kurt raises an eyebrow, on the verge of bitch-mode. "And how many locker checks would that have earned me?"

"None," Dave laughs out, smiling. "Of course I wouldn't have been able to look you in the eyes for a few days after."

Kurt's face drops instantly, a creepy thought in his mind. He looks intensely at Dave, face to face, when he asks "please tell me you had more jacking material than **me**!"

Dave's face instantly turns tomato-red as he stammers gibberish, turns full-about, and walks off.

_Holy, fucking, GaGa! _Kurt thinks as he queues up for a broiled, skinless chicken breast with steamed broccoli and carrots.

(_)

"So, I was thinking," Brittany says, earning both a smile from Santana and a glare from her toward a Sophomore who rolled her eyes at the statement. "I think I know why you've been such a bitch lately." Brittany then proceeds to hand the Latina a shirt. As she sees that it reads 'Lebanese' she looks to her girlfriend, who answers with "It's okay, we understand honey. Just remember that we _both _love you and want you to be happy."

"I-I don't know what to say Britts," Santana says as she absently kneeds the shirt. "I love you, and Artie too... but, I..."

"You want me to be happy, right?" Brittany asks, waiting for a nod. "I love both of you. Doesn't Artie make you happy?"

"... he does, but, I'm still scared."

"Because that cripple isn't doing it right," someone says from behind Brittany. The hallway's now empty save Scott Cooper and two of his goons. They're sneering lewdly at the former cheerleaders.

"Any woman takes her place once she's laid right, agreed guys?" Cooper says, reaching to grab one of Brittany's breasts.

"Keep your **fucking **hands off her you piece of shit!" Santana snarls, grabbing his wrist and twisting.

Cooper backhands her, sending her to the floor. "You and this stupid cumbucket need to learn how to treat _real _men!" he seethes out as his buddies step toward the girls.

"Got any men in mind, 'cause I don't see any in front of me," Azimio says from behind the trio, making them freeze in place. Brittany picks up Santana and moves them a few feet away.

"Back off Humpty-Dumpty!" Cooper seethes, trying to intimidate this unlikely hero.

"Make me, Cold Case motherfucker," Azimio coolly replies, folding his arms over his chest.

Believing he has a chance, Cooper lunges for the Blond, but is grabbed by the scruff and thrown into a row of lockers, denting three of them. A shout is heard at the end of the hallway along with fast, heavy footfalls.

"What's the story Fat Albert?" Sue asks as she approaches, seeing the handprint on her former Captain's face.

"Cooper tried to grab my boobs and Santana grabbed his wrist," Brittany answers, knowing full well she wasn't supposed to answer. "Then he slapped Santana, then Azimio showed up."

"The dumb bastard's the dumbest I've ever seen, and I watch a **lot **of NCIS and CSI," Azimio says as he picks up the puckhead, his friends gone when the bulky football player announced his presence. "He lunged for Blondie _again _while I was right _here_."

"Well Mr. Cooper, you're going to spend the rest of the year in that new SRC thing," Sue says, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "And if you do anything other than walk, I'll rip your arm off and shove it up your ass until you can scratch your chin." She proceeds to drag him away while he shakes in his jersey.

"Thanks Adams," Santana says as she stands.

"Not a problem angel," he replies, picking up the shirt she dropped. "You know it's okay for you you to like Abrams, right?"

"What?" the dark-haired girl replies.

"It's rare for someone to be totally into one or the other," he says, handing the now-folded shirt back. "Maybe he's your one guy in a sea of hot women," he finishes as he walks off, whistling.

"Is this the Twilight Zone?" Brittany asks. "Because I want to find the brain of the guy who made Jerseylicious at Wong's Lost and Found Emporium..."

(_)

"I can't believe that asshole!" Finn shouts as details of yesterday's encounter are dished out.

"And Z saved the day?" Dave asks, earning a nod. "Well hand me fishnets and call me a queen," he mumbles.

"Maybe people just needed a strong push toward acceptance?" Sunshine asks, helping Rachel and Kurt find a good concealer for the still-visible handprint.

"I vote for the theory of social isolation," Blaine says as he rehearses the choreography. "That SRC is kinda harsh."

"Not as bad as instant expulsion," Rachel says, smiling as she gets the right combination of foundations.

"Or terminating their current credits," Quinn adds, leaning into Sam.

"Dude, what?" Noah replies, horrified. "You'd have them stay another year?"

"Serves their asses right," Mercedes chimes in. "Tells everyone else how much of a jackass pig they are!"

"Hell to the YES girl!" Artie praises, raising he roof. "In Cooper's case, he wouldn't get any action until, like, 2015!" he says while laughing.

"How's that different than now?" Tina says, smiling.

"Good point," Quinn says, smirking.

"So, who's ready for this thing tomorrow?" Dylan asks, patting Blaine on the back.

A collective groan echoes through the choir room.

"Oh, Rachel," Noah says with a smile. "Meet us at the mall at five?"

"Um, okay?" she commits, obviously confused.

"Great!" Kurt bubbles. "I think you're long overdue for a makeover!"

"Boyfriends!" Sunshine and Dylan, the only two single people paying attention cat-call, hugging each other.

(_)

Noah: Impulsive

Kurt: Likes Boys

Dave: Closet-Case Bully

Blaine: Jealous & Possessive

Quinn: Lucy Caboosey

Mike: Can't Sing

Finn: Can'tDance

Rachel: Diva with the Nose

Dylan: Almost Tactless

Sunshine: Heart on Sleeve

Artie: Four Eyes

Brittany: I'm With Stoopid (Up Arrow)

Tina: Soft-Spoken

Sam: Says Weird Stuff

Santana: Lebanese

Will: Butt-Chin

Emma: O.C.D.

Shannon: Heavy-Built

Mercedes: Overbearing Diva

Azimio: Jackass

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a horrible dancer," Dylan says as they finish the _Born this Way _number.

"Hey!" Azimio says as he takes a long pull of water from his bottle. "I'm not as bad as Hudson over there!"

"I don't think _anyone's_ as bad as I am," Finn says. "I broke Rachel's nose!"

"Finn, it's fine," she replies, giving him a small hug. "And I'm not getting that nose job, so, it's a win for everyone."

"Thanks for joining us Adams," Shannon says as she catches her breath.

"Not a problem coach," he replies while slapping Dave on the shoulder. "This wasn't really as bad as I thought it would be."

"Didn't you figure that out when we did Thriller?" Sam says as he rubs out a knot in Quinn's neck.

"I just thought you were doing, I don't know, _not-gay _stuff."

"Dude, there's no way we'd ever do _Leather and Jayce _in a school," Dylan giggles as he tries to push the visuals of **that **specific 'Sex Opera' out of his head. "That's for, like, personal time."

"I've never heard of that play," Rachel says right as her brain gets it, causing her to blush and the group to begin laughing in jest. Dylan just points to his shirt and shrugs. "You're evil, you know that?" she retorts as she pokes him in the ribs, smiling.

"That's it for this week guys," Will manages to get out before falling into another round of giggles. Emma manages to get him into a seat before allowing her smirk to emit the laughs she'd been suppressing. Not once did she grimace at the contact or think of washing her hands with sanitizing soap.

* * *

><p>No puedo creer lo patoso él todavía lo es! Está Él incluso poniendo atención? <em>I can't believe how klutzy he still is! Is he even paying attention?<em>

I had intended for more, but had to stop. In writing the remaining two chapters, I have to ask: Do you want to know what happened to Danny Puckerman? I won't give any spoilers now, but review and let me know.


	14. Naked at the Prom

Just one more chapter before this story ends! Wh00t! My second story and I've stuck with it!

I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and explained what happened with Danny (Puck's dad, who, in my story is a total asshole?). Hinthint.

To me, this seems to be jumpier than the rest, but I like it. I also have some pretty odd pairs/groups of people working together.

With that said, I'd also like to ask for some help: After this I'm going back and revisiting my first story, Perfect Fit. I would like to ask for people who know Tagalog, Japanese, French, Chaldean, Arabic, and Cantonese to help with the dialogue already in the story to translate/Latinize it, and hopefully be available as I finish that story. You only need to know one of these languages and English - don't worry if English isn't a language you're fluent with, I can correct it if the non-English is right.

So... here's the Next-to-Last chapter!

Justify My Love, Madonna (The Immaculate Collection, Warner Brothers: 1990)

Starstrukk, 3OH!3 (Single, Photo Finish: 2009)

A post-publish note: I had intended to list who would play Adele & Karen Logan (to give a better visual of the Logan family) and forgot. Adele Logan would be played by the smokin' hot Aisha Taylor while Karen Logan would be played by the sultry Christina Hendricks. Dylan is the softest, dark-skinned combination of Spencer Reed with a Vince Ferelli frame-base, with hair a deeper red than Christina's. I'm pretty sure none of these four actors can sing (maybe Christina...).

* * *

><p><span>Naked at the Prom<span>

"Umm, maybe we shouldn't _have _this discussion?" Carole asks as she takes another slice of chocolate cheesecake.

"Well I just want to know if we ever have to deal with Danny again, that's all," Norah asks as he swats Sarah's hand away from her plate. "There's plenty of éclairs on the table – take one of those."

"They don't look as good as yours ma," Sarah replies sullenly as she takes one off of the tray.

"Is he dead?" Finn asks as he piles his plate with cream puffs and meringue-filled crepes.

"I'm not sure we should tell you," Sunshine asks as he eyes the table, Puck, Dylan, and Kurt the only ones with fruit _currently _on their plate. "And I'm only saying _something _because my mom's not here."

Burt, having stayed quiet with his son, suddenly has a **very **clear picture of _exactly _what this Dylan kid's capable of. "I'm disturbingly interested in what happened."

Noah sighs and sets his fork down nervously. "Go ahead and tell us, we'll keep it quiet."

(An hour after they left the cemetery)

"So, what do we do with him?" Sunshine asks as they exit the highway, looking to the bound man in the back.

"That depends on what he says and tries to do when he wakes up," Dylan replies as takes a mental survey of the restaurants near the exit. "And what you're willing to participate in."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, you saw what an asshole he was," he says as he stops for the light and looks to his friend. "At the least he shouldn't be allowed to have any more kids."

The Filipina blushes when she realizes what her friend meant. "Gaano kalayo ang iyong pagpunta sa pumunta?"

"Ako problema hindi snapping kanyang leeg at bumababa sa kanya pababa sa isang minahan baras," he answers, deadpaned. He looks forward as the light turns green and he turns left.

"Hindi ko alam. Paano kung kami ay hinuli o isang bagay? Ay ito kahalaga ito?" she replies, panic setting in.

"We're not going to get caught, because we're not idiots," Dylan says, grabbing her hand. "And it _is _worth it manang."

The Filipina sighs, nodding to the Taco Bell. "The usual," she spits out flatly. "Actually double, plus a 7-Layer Burrito and a Grilled Chicken with green sauce."

Dylan nods and parks the car under a busted lamp post, looking to the back as the man rustles. "There's a tranq gun in the glovebox. Take it," he says, ordering, not asking. "If he starts talking, use the voice recorder. If he gets mouthy, tranq him." Dylan then leaves to grab their food.

_What the __**hell **__am I doing? I can't keep this quiet! I _**don't **_want to end up in an __**American**__ prison! I-_

"Heeeyyy there, suuuugggaarr tits," Danny says, trying to work around a busted lip and some cracked teeth.

"My name's Sunshine," she says, giving very little of her fear away. "You really try to rape your son?"

He tries smirking, but decides against it when one of the scabs on his lip opens. "Just making him see that he's sup'ed to use _his _cock, not _take _another."

"What a great example of what America has to offer," she scoffs. "Why'd you come back? You've been gone for a decade."

"Well Mulan, I wanted to see if the rumor about my kid turning fag was true," he says, rolling to his back and sighing, making the tarp crinkle.

"He was _born gay_," she fruitlessly tries to correct.

"Is it true you gooks have slanted twats?"

_The admitting to trying to rape his kid, I can handle. The not accepting gay as a way of being born, annoys me. Being a racist douche: not so much. _"What the fuck is your problem asshole! Aren't you a Jew?"

"Yeah, what about it? You one of them Nazi China-girls?"

"I just want to know how someone could **hate **their own kid as much as you seem to do yours!" she seethes out, losing patience.

"You can't be born a faggot or dyke, it's not Jehovah's will."

"You sound like one of my idiot, Catholic aunts."

He smirks, breaking the barely-formed scab apart. "That's it, isn't it? That guy lickin' your cunny better than the good girls back on your island?"

"That's it!" she shouts as she leaps out of her seat and stomps on his teeth, breaking them. She then points and fires the gun in her hands, landing a dart just above his collarbone. She says before the man passes out, "I'm not a lesbian, Dylan's my best friend, and pieces of pure, evil, _shit _like you should be sterilized at birth! And I'm going to make sure you can't _ever _hurt **anyone **ever again." She's rewarded with a look that, even while glazed-over, says 'fuck you.'

She calms herself as she folds the tarp around the sedated man, using zipties she found in the glovebox to seal it. She then takes the camping equipment and covers the tarp, looking very much like there's a family tent or a large outdoor stove under it. She doesn't even startle when, six minutes later, the driver door opens and then closes again.

After playing back the recording, the young man simply nudges the stocky Pacific Islander and shoves the device into the tarp. "Able to or not, you _have _to keep this secret."

She takes her seat and opens the bag, ripping out the grilled burrito and scarfs a few bites before nodding. She hands over a two-layer taco as they drive causally out of the parking lot. The burning redness in her face has subsided, allowing her to speak without her voice shaking. "Are we going to be able to get away with it?"

Dylan crams the remaining third of the taco into his mouth and makes quick work if it. "As long as you don't mind a short hike and playing dress-up, yeah, we will," he answers without emotion, his face a stony calm.

…

They're almost to the room when their bundle moves slightly. It isn't making a sound, but it might. He nods to his accomplice and when she lets go shoulders the filled tarp. She opens the rusty, yet silent, metal door and bids them through. The burdened man points to a metal door above a furnace and waits for the door to be opened and the tray deployed. As he sets the slightly moving package down she closes the entry door and twists the locking wheel into place.

"I need to set up the fuel supply," Dylan says, cutting the tarp enough to reveal the face of a sorry excuse of a father and a human. "If he tries to scream," he says as he hands her a small, hallow, over-sized-needle-tube-thing, "jab this _here_," he indicates to the center of the Adams Apple, "and twist as you yank it out."

She stands guard as he wheels a barrel of _something _behind the oven and opens the small seal expertly, despite gloved hands. "Why do we have to wear a body condom _and _form-fitting camouflage?"

"We can't leave even an **eyelash**if we want to get away with this," Dylan replies as he sticks a tube into the barrel until it smacks the bottom. The smell of heating oil begins to lightly waft into the room.

"What about these clothes then? What do we do with them?"

"When we get home, we bleach them, run them through an acid wash, then toss what's left into the fireplace," he replies as he primes the oven for use. He sets a timer, flicks a switch, and waits.

The condemned man tries to let out a scream, but is reduced to silent gurgling as the corer is stabbed in, twisted, then removed, taking away the power of speech for the remaining few hours of his life. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

He stays silent, moving to the tray and using some nylon straps to secure Danny, ensuring he can't get out. He double-checks to make sure the voice recorder is _on _the tray _under _the man. He then shoves the tray inside the oven and closes the door, sealing the _man's _fate. "Yes."

Sunshine leans against the opposite wall, looking at her friend as if for the first time. "I... I never thought... _you_?"

"My... Aunt Adele – not that one – was married when she met my Aunt Karen. James... abused the shit out of her. She finally divorced him after she accepted that she was lesbian. They escaped to Chicago when I got sent to my third foster home, and they got custody of me a month later. One night, about two years later... Aunt K and I... he was... _raping _her, when we got home..." he breaks off, silently sobbing.

Sunshine runs to Dylan and engulfs him in a crushing hug, letting him know he doesn't need to finish. He continues though. "He stabbed Auntie A, sliced Auntie K... I just, grabbed the gun from Auntie's holster, in the closet... and he was dead. I blew his head off." he finishes, staring into Sunshine's eyes, tearless, his face exactly like a child who has just discovered that glass, thrown on concrete, shatters. "We used three tarps... scrubbed everything... ripped it out and burned it..."

"What happened to this guy, after?" Sunshine asks, intrigued.

He gives an eerie chuckle as he replies. "We lived on the outskirts of Harvey Estates, so it was... _difficult_, to find a place. I.. just took the Jeep and... _drove_. I found a foundry without a lot of cars around it and went inside. After stuffing the asshole in a barrel." He stops and looks into her eyes, bewildered. "No one even paid attention to me? I mean, here's this _kid_, 5' 8" and 180 pounds, with a _barrel_, and they left me alone long enough to toss it into a crucible!"

Sunshine presses a light, friendly kiss to Dylan's lips and hugs him again, rubbing his back. "He deserved it, just like _him_," she nudges her head to the oven, which sounds like he's trying to get out. "You were protecting your family even then."

"It just sucks," he says, eyes watering. He opens his top enough to wipe his eyes and closes it again. "You know what I feel right now? **Happy**. I feel _happy _that I'm killing yet _another_ person. Isn't that wrong?"

"I... I don't know... at least, not anymore," she replies, kicking the oven door. "But I don't feel that **this**," she waves to the whole room, "is wrong. And I _was _scared, that we'd get caught..." she trails off.

Dylan quirks up an eyebrow, smirking. "But not now?"

"No. Because you're here," she confides. "If you were straight... _fuck_!" she squeaks as she turns around.

Dylan chuckles, and not as darkly as before. "You'd marry me even though I like having both of my holes filled?" he answers with a dirty smirk.

Her face turns as crimson-red as possible without causing damage and she points at him with a sideways middle finger and thumb. "You suck!"

"And a pleasure it is to do so!" he says, giggling.

She stops in her tracks, eyes wide and jaw hanging open. Despite the humiliation she's feeling, she can't stop a smile from forming on her lips, bringing her jaw back up. "At least I'm not going to hell," she mumbles, rolling her eyes.

Dylan genuinely smiles as he stares at her, an eyebrow raised and his head cocked.

"Okay, I'll be seeing you in hell, just, keep a look out for me in that super-express lane you'll be in, alright?"

Dylan openly chuckles as he takes her in a hug from behind, helping her stay grounded. They stay this way until the smell of smoldering nylon, denim, and hair dissipates.

(After dinner, in Dylan's future-esque living room)

"Kid, that's pretty harsh," Burt says as he takes a seat on the loveseat next to Carole.

"Not really," Dylan replies. "It's one of the few ways to get away with it."

"But, why cremate him?" Norah asks, a newfound respect shining in her eyes.

"Can't they find evidence no matter what?" Finn asks, plopping down on one of the two recliners.

"Not this way," Sunshine answers. "They _might _be able to tell it's a person, and maybe the type of straps and tarp we used, but nothing else."

"And they can't tell _when _it happened either," Dylan adds. "And even if he had any medical implants, even titanium, it's ash now."

"Wait, titanium has a melting point of over 3000 degrees," Kurt says, eying his family oddly.

"To speed the process, and not knowing anything about the douche," Dylan says, "I added an oxygenation system."

"So it rusts and burns. Interesting," Sarah says as she nurses her apple cider. "What?" she says after noticing everyone giving her odd looks.

"It's official," Noah says as he raises his glass toward Dylan and Sunshine for a toast. "_You _are now the badass in the family!"

"Hear hear!" chant the others, raising their glasses toward Dylan, who smiles and takes Sunshine's hand.

(_)

"Hey, can we talk for a minute?" Sam asks as he runs up to Dylan, interrupting the conversation he was having with Noah.

"Umm, okay," he replies, noticing the knowing nod he gives to the blonde.

Sam flips through the new edition of the school newspaper awkwardly before setting it back to the front page. "Look familiar?"

Dylan looks at the image, keeping his face a blank slate. "That's the stage at Cherry Ranch," Dylan deadpans. "Nice body."

"Dude, isn't that **you**?" Sam asks, concerned.

"Maybe," Dylan replies, checking the charge on his tablet. "Can't really tell though. Between the black & white of the picture and it being _totally _out of focus, can't be sure."

Sam balks at this response. "**Dude**! Is that you or not?"

"Look, bro, if it _was _me, why would anyone care?" he answers, looking Sam in the face. "There's all kinds of pictures of me across FaceBook and Twitter. Face shots, me at the beach in Ibiza, me in speedos and swimming shorts. It wouldn't be hard photoshopping a fake picture of me."

Sam stares at the red-head as he moves down the hallway, not caring that he's in the paper, or that many of the jocks are glaring at him while the girls stare at him like he's a fat-free chocolate dessert.

(_)

"Here's the Thunder from Down Over," Santana says as Dylan walks into the choir room. "Must be hard to give a lapdance with that monster in your way."

"At least I don't have an odd tan line under my boobs sandbags," Dylan quickly taunts back.

"Wait, guys don't have boobs," Brittany says as she looks from Santana to Dylan.

"Please tell me you don't let them touch you," Mercedes says, placing a hand on Dylan's shoulders.

"What are you talking about?" Dylan says as he takes the Chocolate Diva's hand, places a kiss to it, then shoos it away.

"That you're getting your dancin' pole on dude," Azimio says, waving a school paper.

"That's nothing but-but a waste of paper and time!" Rachel shouts out as she rips Azimio's copy out of his hands. "It's a paper version of Jacob's blog and it's worthless!"

"Are you referring to the online version where there's a crappy, out of focus, poor sound video of this guy shakin' it to C&C Music Factory?" Dylan replies, handing his tablet to Quinn and his phone to the Jewish egomaniac.

"Why don't you just flat out deny it?" Tina asks, squinting and lightly pawing at Mike as his eyebrows meet his hairline for a second.

"If I deny it, you'll call me a liar, if I confirm it you'll demand I stop," Dylan replies as he pries his devices back from his gleemates.

"Guys, I live with Dylan and he just works at that new Chinese buffet," Sunshine says, her annoyance obvious. "I've seen the paystubs."

Before anyone can notice Dylan blushing, the smell of repackaged Franzia wafts through the room as a short, stocky blonde enters the room. "Heya guys – who's the big furry hottie?" she asks, making a bee-line to Dylan.

"That's one of our newest members, Dylan," Will says, trying to get her to stop eye-humping the poor teen.

"Well, normally I don't go for guys with dark hair and dark skin, but umm... you look like my type. You're eighteen, right?" she purrs, her breath smelling oddly of Frascati Secco and cheese. She notices Noah and Kurt holding hands and nuzzling each other and puts a hand to Dylan's mouth, who looks to Blaine and Quinn for help. "Puck? Don't tell me I ruined you for every other woman?" she says seriously.

He and Kurt just bust out laughing, along with most of the other people in the room as Dylan simply picks up April, sets her down next to Will, and begins kissing her. After a couple of whimpers from her he lightly pushes her away, nods, and takes his seat again. "Good enough for a woman, only interested in a man," he deadpans, making the laughter stronger and louder.

April leans into Will, looking like a hurt kitten. "He's mean Will, and he's a better kisser than you are," she says as she paws him, nuzzling his side.

"Okay guys, this week's lesson is 'Rumours!'" Will blurts out as he nods to Brad to start them off.

(_)

"Our duet's going to be so awesome!" Noah says as he spins Kurt into a kiss. "And I mean it – I'm never going to brake the spell, because you're too perfect!"

Kurt just gazes into Noah eyes, lost in their depth, the sparkle of pride when they're like this. Touching. Happy. Content. _Things just keep getting better. When he came back from Akron. When he read the news that yet _another _state has equality for it's residents (and maybe he'll actually get the courage to propose). The three-way did it though. _"Sweets, I wanted to tell you something."

"Sure thing babe," Noah replies, placing another kiss on Kurt's lips before wrapping an arm around his waist.

"That time we had Dylan over," Kurt begins, but is interrupted.

"It's cool if you want to do it again," Noah lies, but only because he loves Kurt, and anything he wants, he'll get.

"NO! That's not it," Kurt says, squeezing the tanned teen's hand. "It just... it made me realize that no matter what, _you're _the only one I want." He then stops them and lightly swings Noah against a locker. "I mean it."

The sparkle in Noah's eyes are now blinding as he takes Kurt's face in his hands and presses their foreheads together. "I know. I feel the same way."

"You do?"

"I felt that way _before _too," Noah admits, knowing full well that he should have had this talk over a week ago.

"Why didn't you tell me 'no' then sweets?" Kurt asks, his breath hitching.

"Because I can't say no to you babe," Noah admits as he tries to stop the slight trembling of his hands. "No matter what you want, no matter how painful it is for me, it's yours."

"Noah..." Kurt gasps before lunging at his lips, expressing all of the desire, love, care he's felt during their relationship in that one kiss. The first passing bell breaks their kiss, and Kurt wraps an arm around Noah, gazing at him. "I never want to do anything that'll hurt you. **Ever **again."

"No more sharing," Noah replies. "And you realize that even if it's Dylan, anyone who even _mentions _a three-way to us again-"

"Dies. Got it," Kurt replies, nuzzling into Noah's strong frame.

(_)

"Welcome Blaine, come in," Dylan says as he opens the door to the Karofsky residence. Blaine smiles before following, confused. He's lead through the living room to the dining room, noticing that all of the lights are off, the only light coming from candles.

"What's going on?" Blaine asks as he takes a seat across from Dave.

"A guy can't plan a romantic evening with his boyfriend?" Dave replies as Dylan hands him a goblet of wine.

"But there's three of us," Blaine points out, taking a sip from the goblet he's handed.

"I'm just here as cook and maitre d," Dylan replies. "Brazed lamb with garlic and mint jelly, steamed broccoli, and carrots. Dessert will be hand-made chocolate cheesecake with fresh strawberry syrup. Please enjoy the the spinach, crab, and guyer h'orderves while the meal finishes resting." Dylan then proceeds to disappear into the kitchen.

"I wanted a special meal for us, and I can't really cook," Dave says as he takes an appetizer with one hand and Blaine's hand with the other.

Blaine eyes the doorway Dylan exited before replying. "May I ask what you had to do to get him to do this?" he asks, taking another sip of the delicate-tasting wine.

"I just asked him to baby," Dave answers, squeezing his hand. "I told him it was important to me."

"Oh," the smaller teen replied, taking a gulp of wine. "Did he have any other plans?"

"Just fight club, but he's taking his bike and it's only on the outskirts of town."

"That's, very nice of him," Blaine replies, taking another h'orderve. _I'm glad I've been able to not let out just _how much _I've doubted this. He's chancing on missing FC? _"I know I haven't been _great _towards him, but-"

"You finally believe him now?" Dave asks playfully, grinning to match. "Because he's the one that got me to do this."

"Hmmm?" Blaine asks as he finishes his next appetizer.

"I, uhh," Dave stutters, scratching the back of his neck. "I wasn't going to do _this,_" he gestures to the room, romantically lit with candles, soft instrumental, Mediterranean music wafting through the room.

Before any more awkwardness can be dispensed, Dylan returns with the main course and, after refilling their goblets and setting another bottle to chill, leaves the room. Blaine takes a peek into the kitchen but is blocked when the doors finally close. The meal is eaten comfortably, loving small-talk and plans for college, just the two of them with Dylan arriving within minutes of needing more wine – which is only once.

"How was the meal?" Dylan asks as he clears the table and replaces the napkins and flatware.

"It was great," Blaine answers. He lightly takes a hold of the large teen's hand, smiling. "I'm sorry. For doubting you."

Dave and Dylan smile, neither boy breaking eye contact with the small teen. "Apology accepted Blaine," Dylan says as he gives the hand a small squeeze before retreating into the kitchen.

"It'd be great if you two could become good friends," Dave says, walking to Blaine and wrapping his arms around his chest from behind. "I want him to be my best man when we can finally get married."

Blaine looks up into the golden eyes he can no longer imagine living without seeing, the hope and happiness, and takes Dave's hands. "I can do that," he says, reaching up for a kiss. The doors open again, and Dylan sets two plates of cheesecake on the table. Blaine, once broken from the kiss, sees that the placesetting next to him has been set. The long-haired teen retreats to the kitchen after changing the music to a more classical station.

"Wait, is he?" Blaine asks as he can _swear _he hears someone going up the stairs.

"That's a surprise," Dave says, smiling. He raises a forkful of the rich dessert to Blaine's mouth, who takes it delicately.

"Oh my God!" Blaine says around the morsel. "That's... incredible!"

"The harder it is to make, the easier it is for him," Dave says, watching his boyfriend dig into his piece. At about the half-way point, Blaine gasps.

"There's something in here!" he yelps, digging it out from the filling. It's a small, glass sphere, with a platinum band in it. "Wait, Dave..." Blaine whispers, absently staring at him as he takes the object and opens it.

"Blaine Anderson," Dave starts, placing a hand on Blaine's knee. "You have been... I'm not refined enough to describe just how, _perfect_, you've been to me the time we've known each other. You've seen past the phony I was, got a glimpse of the _real _me, and now..." He drops to one knee, holding the ring in his left hand with his right taking Blaine's left. "Blaine, please marry me?"

Tears are pouring from the former Warbler's eyes, his breath hitching. The perfect meal, the absolutely **perfect **night, it makes sense now. _He does truly, whole-heartedly, __**love ME! **_Without hesitation he yelps a blissful 'yes,' allowing his fiancée to put the ring on his hand. They both stand and share a hugging kiss, each feeling a new sense of connection. That is, before yelps, hollers, and jumbled cheers are heard coming from the stereo.

Dylan walks in and takes a rather large tablet from the stereo, showing their friends and even a few family members. "This is the only thing we wanted to share with everyone else."

"Congratulations!" Quam say, smiling and hugging each other.

"It's about time!" Mercedes and Azimio say, smiling.

"I'm happy for you two," Mr. Anderson says, genuinely smiling and nodding.

"You two make a handsome couple," Rachel says as she turns to begin peeling her night mask off.

"Goodbye guys," Dylan says as he turns off the tablet and clears the table. "Leftovers and instructions are in the fridge, and there's a hot bath waiting for both of you upstairs," Dylan finishes, giving the newly engaged couple a hug. "I'm very happy for you two," he says as he walks out, his words genuine and truthful.

"How do you feel, the future Mr. Blaine Karofsky?" Dave asks as they climb the stairs.

"Like the embodiment of happiness, Mr. David Anderson," Blaine replies, smiling.

"I like the sound of that. Mr. David Anderson..." Dave trails off, leading Blaine into the bathroom...

(_)

"I just don't know what to do Coach," Kurt sighs as he leans back into the chair in the Cheerio's office. "First the stripper thing, now rumors about most of the people in glee banging Sam and a three-way between..." he trails off as he shudders. "April **can't **look good naked."

"You could always ask your boyfriend about that Porcelain," Sue replies with a hint of sadness. "In the meantime, what about this?" she says as she points to the front page. "I know one thing, and that's Asian and Fat Whitney don't cheat or help people cheat."

"I know, but that's not the one I'm worried about – I know why _that's _happening-"

"Porcelain, what's going on there?" Sue interrupts.

"It's personal with Sam, and that's all I'm going to say," Kurt answers.

"So are you and this baked Irish freak more than friends then?"

Kurt sighs, folding his arms over his chest. "No, we aren't. He still loves Dave, Dave wants to marry Blaine, and I whole-heartedly belong to and love Noah."

"Okay, I think I know what I need to do now," Sue replies. "Now get out of my office so I can get to scheming. And don't be afraid to jump your boyfriend's bone a few times on campus. It might just make the right point to the zombies here."

"Thanks Coach," Kurt says, smiling. "And I'll consider your suggestion, although we do 'jump the bone' quite often here." As the door opens there are shouts throughout the hallway, many couples yelling. Jacob and his crew are jogging after Kurt, but are stopped when several members of the baseball team grab his cameraman and start shouting something about nads and trips to the free clinic. Fortunately the door closes and she's left in silence once again.

"I. Can't. Believe. I'm going. To. Do. _This..._" she murmurs to herself as she finishes her log entry, tossing it into her bottom drawer. "**BECKY!**" she shouts. "Is my cattle-prod charged?"

(_)

"So this is Cherry Ranch?" Beiste says as she scouts the room. "It's different that I thought it would be."

"What exactly _would _be the opposite of a Honky-Tonk Beiste?" Sue jokes as she eyes the bar, trying not to begin berating the women perched there.

"I don't know," she answers, "I just didn't think it'd look like the waiting area outside the changing rooms at Torrid."

"There he is!" Sue whispers as she points out a bartender who has a loaded tray with about 10 drinks and seven small baskets of food.

"That looks normal," the Rubenesque woman whispers back. "He's got perfect balance."

He swings his way through the crowd and tables, deftly handing out the orders and collecting tabs. He looks to the stage exit and mouths something neither coach can make out before seeing them, locking eyes, and nodding them over. He sits them at a VIP table that's elevated halfway between the normal floor and the stage.

"Gin and tonic for you and a Long Island Iced Tea for you?" Dylan asks Sue and Beiste.

"What in the hell is a Long Island Iced Tea?" Beiste asks, more annoyed than anything else.

"Vodka, tequila, rum, gin, triple sec, sweet & sour mix, and a small splash of Coke," Dylan answers as he looks to the blonde coach.

"Make it two kid," Sue replies as she begins to take out her wallet. Her hand is pulled back to the table.

"It's on the house tonight," Dylan replies. "Just behave and play along," he finishes as he hands each of them a small stack of $1's and $5's.

Before their drinks arrive a young thirty-something guy takes the stage in a three-piece business suit and begins his routine to Def Leppard's _Pour Some Sugar on Me._ He's not great. When their drinks are set down the performer and the secret teen share a glance, the remaining third of his performance improving. A few minutes later another guy comes out, a natural dirty-blonde pushing forty in a White Navy uniform, and he starts to Warrant's _Cherry Pie._ He's fantastic, enough to have both visiting women give a few tips.

"That first guy just looked like he was doing it on a dare he couldn't lose," Beiste says, feeling the effects of all the hard liquor setting in.

"And it didn't help that he looked like a prepubescent freshman," Sue agrees, raising her glass for another toast. The lights dim, causing all of the assembled women to begin cheering and screaming. Sue, not liking being left out, lightly (for her) smacks some poorly-dyed woman's head and asks "what's all this about?"

She has a look of horror on her face, like someone's never heard of Madonna or the Pope. "It's Maverick! Do you have amnesia or something?" she exclaims as she turns her attention back to the stage.

Beiste, having had another conversation with a table of college girls, looks mortified. "Seems this guy's not only popular, but reads the room perfectly. There's a split between wanting raunchy and romantic."

"Romantic stripping?" Sue scoffs. "Too much reality TV and Desperate Housewives."

"_Get ready ladies – here comes the King of Enthrallment... __**Maverick**__!_" The music _should _have started, but it was delayed by the cheering of the women, many acting like they've never _seen _a hot guy in pictures, much less in person. All they can see is a silhouette, with no defects or a line out of place. Once quieted enough, the music starts and the lights come up just enough to show Dylan in a perfectly tailored tux: cole-black tophat with matching slacks, a deep navy blue blazer over a deep oak green vest, over a grandmother-of-pearl white dress shirt with _very _small ruffles, black gentleman's gloves, a smoke-grey bowtie, and expensive-looking dress shoes.

(he walks toward the front of the stage, a sultry look on his face)

I wanna kiss you in Paris

(he leans to a table and presses a light kiss to a slender brunette, loosening his gloves)

I wanna hold your hand in Rome

(he moves to the table across from her and offers his hands to a blonde, who takes the gloves off of his hands)

I wanna run naked in a rainstorm

(he moves to the center, near a pole, being sprinkled the entire time)

Make love in a train cross-country

(he rolls his hips, back against the pole)

You put this in me

(he takes his hat off as though frustrated and languidly slides it offstage)

So now what, so now what?

(During the next lines a drunk, college-age girl comes on stage and Dylan waves a bouncer to give it a minute)

Wanting, needing, waiting

For you to justify my love

(The girl leans into Dylan, as if she's singing the song to him with no one else there)

Hoping, praying

For you to justify my love

I want to know you

Not like that

I don't wanna be your mother

(She undoes his tie and hooks it around his neck, grinding into him)

I don't wanna be your sister either

I just wanna be your lover

(She unbuttons his jacket and slides it down his shoulders, both still grinding and rolling their hips in unison)

I wanna be your baby

(He allows her to kiss him as he is shown to he the one in control, making it rain, and sends her off just before the chorus)

Kiss me, that's right, kiss me

Wanting, needing, waiting

For you to justify my love

Yearning, burning

For you to justify my love

(Dylan slowly unbuttons his shirt, sliding it off as he slowly begins to roll his whole body)

What are you gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

Talk to me - tell me your dreams

Am I in them?

(Two women, about middle-age, rush the stage, Dylan giving the same signal to the bouncer)

Tell me your fears

Are you scared?

(With one woman in front of him and the other behind him, he leans his head back and rolls his entire torso into both of them, letting them rip his undershirt off, making it rain again as his hard, furry chest and rippling back muscles are exposed)

Tell me your stories

I'm not afraid of who you are

We can fly!

Poor is the man

Whose pleasures depend

On the permission of another

(The obvious-by-now desperate women go too far and try to cram their hands down his pants. Dylan seductively rolls away, toward the two educators)

Love me, that's right, love me

I wanna be your baby

(He quickly yet sexily removes his belt, and seeing that Beiste is uncomfortable, straddles her lap, whispering in her ear _I'm here for you to enjoy, don't think about it_)

Wanting, needing, waiting

(as he lightly grinds into her, only willing to slightly nudge her comfort zone)

For you to justify my love

I'm open and ready

For you to justify my love

(After prodding from Sue, Beiste uncourageouslyunbuckles the top of his slacks, his movements making the zipper slide down)

To justify my love

Wanting, to justify

Waiting, to justify my love

(He submissively cartwheels back to the stage and rips the slacks off, revealing an almost sinful sheer man-thong, writhing to the pole and then on it, lost in ecstasy, earning another round of raining)

Praying, to justify

To justify my love

I'm open, to justify my love

He comes to as the lights return to full brightness, the sheer effect dissipating with the illumination. He nods to the two athletic coaches and then to a woman who turns out to be Judy Fabray. The two visitors look to her and see her mouth 'come with me' before she stands and heads through the kitchen doors.

…

When the three women open the employee's door at the back, they're shocked to see Dylan talking to the dancer who did Def Leppard, and floored when he hands a wad of cash to the less-than-desirable dancer. The two hug and part ways, Dylan lighting up a cigarette.

"Those things'll kill you sooner than you should be," Judy says, knowing what the answer will be.

"So'll global warming and fossil fuel exhaust, but whatever," he answers playfully. "And _no_, I'm not ashamed of what I did up there. This was actually a tame night."

"He's right," Judy agrees. "I've had to give a few cunt-punts some nights when the women just wouldn't keep their hands off."

"Then why do it at all?" Beiste asks, her hatred of both tobacco and 'exotic dancing' showing through.

"I need the money, and this is the fastest way to get it," Dylan replies, directing the smoke he's exhaling away from the women.

"Don't you feel used or degraded?" Sue asks, frowning as her young student takes a long drag.

"Nope," Dylan says matter-of-factly. "It's empowering actually, well for me. Knowing all those women are willing to pay money just to watch me dance, a chance to only touch me," he says, flicking the snipe and lighting another one. "All the ego-boosting of sex with _none _of the drama, cash hemorrhaging, or STDs."

"You can't need the money that badly though," Beiste says as she's had enough and takes the cigarette out of his mouth and stomps it out. "It can't be that much and you can't need anything _that _expensive!"

"That was what, three grand on the stage?" Sue says, surprising everyone.

"Three thousand one hundred eighteen," Dylan smirks, "after the five I gave Calvin."

Judy now look concerned. _Why would a teenager need that much money? _"Okay, so it's **really **good money. Why do you need it?"

"My aunts _used _to work for Homeland Security... but after Sebastian..." Dylan trails off. He lights another cigarette before continuing. "I started doing this right when I got back, but I _needed _to do this in addition to Fight Club nine months ago. I couldn't access their bank account and I got a foreclosure notice from the mortgage company."

Something comes together in the larger woman's head and before she can assess it she blurts out "That's how David got the money for his engagement ring, isn't it?"

"And no one else's going to know," Dylan says, intentionally blowing smoke in his teacher's faces. "Five raids, two clubs, and I'm still here. I'm doing this for me, but _they_," he emphasis, pointing to the building, "have spouses, kids. Hell, most of them can barely make enough to **rent**! _They _can't pay for my being too young to be allowed to properly support myself alone." He walks off, gets on his motorcycle, snaps his helmet in place, and rides off, not looking out of place despite his being three hours past curfew.

"They have to grow up so fast these days," Judy says as she gives a smile and walks to the front of the club, leaving the two women from McKinley in a bind. _Was stopping him going to cause more problems? Could someone __**really **_want _to be a stripper? Was it harming anyone?_

(_)

_Compared to this? Hell no! _Sue thought as she runs into the choir room the next day. Tina and Noah are in front of Sam with Dave and Mercedes holding Finn and Rachel back, the former couple looking ready to tear someone's head off.

"Dammit Rachel, just butt **out**!" Quinn shouts. "Sam's not cheating on me and the rest is of **none **of your business!"

"And considering that only me and Mike have a longer-lasting relationship in this group than Purt, you can cram those accusations!" Tina shouts as she glares at Finn, willing him to zombify.

"It's not like he's a stranger to cheating!" Finn yells, earning a left cross from his brother.

"Noah's not cheating on me, none of us are cheating on anyone!" Kurt cries, giving everyone, for the first time, his full Frosty Bitch-Glare.

Azimio, seemingly forgotten, stands and clears his throat. "Sorry Sam, but it looks like you gotta spill the beans," he says with a frown, hands in his jacket pockets.

Tina and Noah try to comfort the large-mouthed teen, but he lightly shoves them away, wiping a few tears from his face. "We live there now. My parents lost their job and then the bank took the house, no warning. It's the five of us in a room _**half **_this size!" he ends up shouting. "They've been helping me babysit and giving us clothes... like we're a charity or something. It's humiliating to **NEED **that kind of help!" he screams as he storms off, Blaine, Mercedes, and Dylan running after him.

April, having been forgotten at Brad's usual spot on the piano bench, just rocks on her heels and, having a silent agreement after glancing at Sue, walk out of the room, both singing 'If they only had a brain..' For the first time in a long time, the room is full yet quiet.

(_)

"Hey, guys," Will says as he enters the room, seeing the hurt on their faces. "What's up?"

Dylan stands, looking everyone over before speaking. "Considering that this week has seemed to bring out the **worst **in us, I'll speak for the group." He then holds up Friday's edition of the Muckraker before continuing. "If you _are _going to leave us, how much longer do we have with you?" he asks, holding back how much he regrets having to ask.

Will swallows twice, his lips moving oddly as he tries to form his words. "I... I don't know if I'll _leave_," he chokes out. "I'll be coming back after the first run, if it's picked up."

"You," Finn says, "could have at least said you were thinking about it."

"I'm sorry, I..." Will tries, suddenly ashamed.

Rachel and Sunshine run up to him, surrounding him with their arms. "It's okay Mr. Schue," Rachel says. "You're good enough to do it," Sunshine confirms.

"Once again, things seem to have worked themselves out," Artie says, squeezing his girlfriends' hands.

"We're totally awesome, that's why!" Mike agrees, patting Finn on the shoulder.

"You're still not quite my best man yet," Blaine replies, smiling when Finn blushes both from the comment and his sneaking a glance at Rachel.

(_)

The next week is utter chaos, for everyone other than Purt, Dlaine, Sunshine, and Dylan. First, the girls waited until just a few _days _before Prom to get their dresses, which pushed back the guys from getting their tuxes. Then they had to come up with a setlist as _they _were the entertainment (okay, so that $400 pays for roomservice for a day, big woop). And to top things off, Quinn and Sam were going for Prom King and Queen, along with Azimio and Mercedes. Did **NOT **see that one coming... Oh, and Jessie came back to try and 'help' the glee club. He was just trying to get into Rachel's panties though. Needless to say, there wasn't much time for couple stuff... in _private _at least.

It was Thursday after school, Blaine and Kurt had just finished rehearsing _Moves Like Jagger _(thanks to connections Mrs. Anderson had in the industry), and Dylan and Mr. Schue were getting ready to practice _Dame Mas_ when two women walked in, holding hands. They stood there for a few minutes as teacher and student went over some performance notes, when Noah, in old-Puck style, nodded to them and asked "Can we help you?"

"Just watching our nephew doing what he does best," a white woman with fiery red hair said, causing Dylan to turn his head. His jaw just drops, no expression on his face.

"Guess who's back?" a tall, lithe, stunning black woman says in a maternal voice.

Dylan runs off stage – literally: he ran as if the stage wasn't higher than the floor – and pulls both women in what seems like a crushing hug. For the first time ever, he's crying with a smile on his face. After several minutes Will clears his throat, breaking their moment.

"Dylan, who are they?" he asks.

"These are my aunts," Dylan says, joyful sobs filling his voice. "But, how are you _here_?"

"Sebastian got caught trying to score rufies in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat, it hit InterPol, and we were released based on blatant false statements given during trial," the black woman replies.

"That's great Aunt Adele, but, your account was frozen," he says as he turns to the ivory-skinned woman. "Aunt Karen?"

"DHS picked it up, and gave us our positions back," she replies, trying to ruffle her nephew's hair. "Goddess you've gotten so big!"

"Speaking of," Adele says seriously, "what's this I hear from Judy about you _werkin' _at Cherry Ranch?"

Dylan blushes and hangs his head, trying to scoot away. He's stopped not only by two pairs of women's hands, but also by Blaine, who spins him around.

"Is this," the bushy-browed teen asks, pointing to his engagement band, "paid for by that?"

Still with his head down, Dylan answers with a simple 'yes.' Upon a sigh by Blaine Dylan looks up and takes a deep breath. "You make Dave happy. Dave wanted to prove that _you _were all he wanted. After finding out that he wanted to marry you, I got the ring. I don't see any problems with that."

Everyone's taken totally by surprise, staring at the large young man. The just-arrived women just look from their charge to Blaine, then to the smiles coming from Kurt and Noah, and to the absolutely lost expression on Will's face. After what seems like minutes Blaine regains his voice.

"You... you were willing to do that for him? For me?" Blaine asks, his throat dry and voice shaking, either from anger or disbelief.

"If it keeps him faithful to you and makes him happy, then yes," Dylan simply replies, motioning everyone to take their marks. "Let's get this song kicked in the balls!"

"What's the lucky guy's name hon?" Karen asks.

"David Karofsky," Blaine replies, a wide smile on his face.

"Great catch young one," Adele replies, successfully hiding her disappointment.

(_)

"Okay, wait! Noah?" Dylan says as their eyes adjust from being flashed by the photographer. "So, _you _have to be the one to do it? Aren't you sure _I _can't do it while _you _try to distract Sylvester?"

"You have the moves, I have the booze," he replies nonchalantly. "And don't tell Kurt!" he hisses.

"If we get caught, it was totally my idea," Dylan replies as he takes Sunshine's hand, leading her to the dancefloor.

"What was that about sweets?" Kurt asks, swishing his kilt-tails without trying.

"Just figuring out if we should dance with him when we're not both on stage," Noah says as he scans the tables.

"Noah," Kurt says with his 'I-know-you're-lying-and-you-got-caught' tone, "if you want to spike the punch, just tell me. I'd love to help."

"No I'm not... wait," Noah stops. "Why would you help?"

"These people are so uptight tonight that we can't _pull _the sticks out of their asses," Kurt replies with a playful lilt. "So let's drown the sticks and loosen them up!"

Noah just stops and admires his pale boyfriend. How stunning he is, how brash he can be at _exactly _the right times, how he just... doesn't stop being _perfect _and **surprising **him! "I am totally yours forever babe!" he says as he pulls Kurt into a sensual, deep kiss. Other than a few gasps, there are no 'boos' or hazing shouts. "What's your plan?" Noah asks against the other's lips.

"Quinn's number is _similar _enough to a lambada for Dylan and I or whoever to do one. That'll **definitely **get Coach Sylvester's attention, or at least draw it away long enough."

"You, doing the lambada, without me?" Noah says, grabbing Kurt's ass possessively. "Is that the only plan you have?"

"Only if you want to get away with it," Kurt moans back, grinding into Noah. The deep growl unleashed by Noah gives the answer they both want. Sadly for both of them, Mike jumps ship, making Dylan go on stage during Quinn's number. Their prayers are answered when Santana makes a bee-line from the stage after her number to them.

"Okay hot stuff, get ready," she says to Noah as she takes Kurt's hand. "Ladylips, you can grind with a fellow gay, right?" Upon the nod she smirks and gives Noah a wink. "Watch and learn."

No one has any idea what this song is, not even Brittany or Blaine, and about a third of the way through, or maybe just a quarter, no one knows yet, Kurt and Santana step into action. Their eyes lock, their hands and arms lock in place, Kurt leading, and the instant Noah steps behind Sue they begin their dance. Both teens smile as they focus on keeping in time with the music, thankful Quinn decided to do this last minute. For two minutes most of the attention is on them as they sweep and grind through the entire gymnasium. No one tries to stop them, but few people look away. Surprisingly, Quinn doesn't seem to mind the redirect of the crowd's attention.

_One flask of gin... check! _Noah thinks as he gets another after taking a quick look around. _Another of vodka... check!_ He looks around and sees that it's only been a few seconds. He fails to notice that someone's walked behind him and is grabbing a cup of punch.

"Boo!" Dave says, causing Noah to jump and cover his mouth. Dave takes a sip and winces. "Dude!" Dave takes a small plastic flask and gives it a shake before opening it. Instantly the smell of cinnamon fills their personal space. Dave pours a thick, red liquid into the bowl and gives it a good mixing. He shakes a few drops from the bottle into his cup, takes a sip, and smiles. "Try it."

Noah tries it and, while not bad, is a little too sweet for his taste. "What was that you poured in?"

"Aftershock," Dave replies. "You wanted to get away with it, right?" After a shrug Dave just laughs and pats his friend on the back. "I know someone who's getting the Anti-King crown..." he sing-songs as he walks away.

…

The night started with an outlook of boring, but it instead got to be pretty awesome. The punch-to-attendees ratio wasn't high enough to make anyone _drunk_, but it was enough to loosen people up. Rachel and Finn were almost lovey-dovey, Santana had flipped her bitch switch to 'off,' Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury were openly flirting, and Jessie, fortunately, turned out to be a sad drinker. He shrugged when Dylan approached him and began dancing, and after three songs the 'consultant' sat back down. Hell, even _Blaine _danced a little with **Dylan **without complaint.

It was time for Dylan to take the stage, and he did so with with his aunts. He took the mic, but no music was played. Once everyone's attention was gathered he smiled to Purt and the other couples before speaking.

"I'm proud of you guys. Most of you guys let me dance with you, and your girlfriends. And you've taken having two gay couples and a triad with open, and sometimes silent, arms. I'm glad to be at such a kickass school! Now... let's **MOSH!**" Without any delay the music cues:

[Karen (Adele whistles)]

Nice legs, Daisy dukes, makes a man go (whistles)

Thats the way they all come through like! (two whistles)

(Dylan struts through his aunts and cuts to the right stairs)

Low-cut, see-through shirts that make you (whistles)

Thats the way she come through like (two whistles)

[Dylan]

(Walks to some of his football teammates and lightly pushes them away with a playful 'get lost' stare)

Cause I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down

[Adele]

Cause I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down

(The entire room joins in in making this a real Moshe-pit, but without the shoving and fighting)

[Dylan with Adele & Karen as electronic backup]

I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out

Now

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce

How

Do I say I'm sorry cause the word is never gonna come out

Now

L-O-V-E's just another word i never learned to pronounce

[Karen (Adele whistles)]

(On the right side of the room the Glee girls and Cheerios begin strutting around their dates, daring other girls to touch them)

Tight jeans, Double D's makin' me go (whistles)

All the people on the street know (whistles whistles)

(Dylan, on the left side of the room, is joined by the Glee guys and the Titans, daring guys to touch their dates)

Iced-out, lit-up, make the kids go (whistles)

All the people on the street know (whistle whistle)

[Dylan]

Cause I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down

[Adele]

Cause I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down

[Dylan with Adele & Karen as electronic backup]

(The 'Fem-Squad' and the 'Dude-Squad' try to out-play each other while staying in the Moshe)

I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out

Now

L-O-V-E's just another word i never learned to pronounce

How

Do I say I'm sorry cause the word is never gonna come out

Now

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce

[Dylan, with sass & Divatude to everyone he passes]

You know that type of shit, just don't work on me

Whistling when you're trying to flirt with me

Don't take it personally, because we were, never in love

It doesn't really matter who say you are

Singing out the window of your car

Go find another girl across the bar

'Cause L-O-V-E's not what this was

(Dylan gets back on the stage, the Logan's leading the Moshe now)

[Dylan with Adele & Karen as electronic backup]

I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out

Now

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce

How

Do I say I'm sorry because the word is never gonna come out

Now

[Dylan]

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce

The cheering doesn't last long as Figgins comes to the stage and gives a look that could make even the most hardcore felon submit. Dylan nods and leaves the stage, smirking.

"That used up all of your leeway for the rest of this year, Mr. Logan," Figgins states, his features softening just a barely noticeable amount. "It is time to reveal this year's Junior Prom King and Queen!" he jubilantly says yet with no smile. "Your 2011 Prom King is... by, write-in vote... Kurt Hummel!"

With the instant applause, the gleeks, jocks, and cheerleaders share a look with each other and nod in understanding. Someone was going to pay for something, and it wasn't going to be pretty or easy to do. Noah gives Kurt a quick kiss on the lips before releasing his hands to be crowned. The young countertenor keeps a mostly genuine smile on his face as he properly kneels to receive his crown, and accepts the scepter without excessive grandeur.

"You guys, you might think this is a joke, and you may be right," he says sweeping his gaze around the room trying to find people who are uncomfortable. _No luck there._ "But that's fine. Thank you for at least looking at me and my boyfriend and just shrugging, if nothing else pretending it's an everyday thing," he finishes and hands the microphone back to the principal before taking a seat on the horrendous makeshift throne.

"Thank you Mr. Hummel. I'm sure someone will figure out if that was motivational or depressing at some point before graduation," Figgins drones out. "Your 2011 Junior Prom Queen is," he begins, sliding the results out of the lavender envelope. "Another win by write-in." He stops for several seconds, giving Kurt and Dave an apologetic look. "Blaine Anderson."

Blaine, panicked, instantly runs out, face blanched. Dylan and Quinn see him move and run after him. Taking in the expressions of everyone they can on their way out, they inventory who needs vengeance focused on them. Less than six seconds after the announcement is made, the doors are shoved open, then shove two more times, and have slammed closed. Before the reality of what has just happened begins to dawn on the prom attendees, Tina shoves Sunshine out of the way with an apology and takes the mic.

"Just when I thought you guys were getting a fucking clue!" she seethes to the crowd. "Voting Kurt for King? That's a move in the _right _direction. Blaine for Queen? Seriously? That's not a joke," she says angrily. "That's inviting another Virginia Tech or Columbine! You're complete idiots!"

Santana, having had enough, climbs on stage and takes the mic from the pissed off chic girl. "Okay assholes, I'm going to be **totally **real now, alright? Do _any _of you know what the Trevor Project is?" She waits for five seconds and, upon only Kurt, Lauren Zizes, Artie, and Rachel raising their hands, unleashes her full inner-bitch.

"That's a hotline for LGBT kids who don't have supportive friends, families, or even cities. Did you know there're actually entire _counties _where it's advised to **stay **in the closet? Guess you didn't. For what you worthless douchebags did here tonight, I have just one wish: That every, single, one of you that thought it'd be a riot to humiliate a gay kid like that, have _**nothing but **_gay kids," she seethes at her _classmates_. "Any of you that could tell your own kid that they ain't human, don't have equal rights, and deserve to be treated like this, let me know. I want to get my back-alley sex-change license on right now!"

Only Kurt and Finn noticed that Dave had slipped out another door to the side, likely to try and find his fiancée.

…

While the Prom was being turned into an "accept or just deal with it" series of speeches, Dylan and Quinn were busy trying to get Blaine out of his panicked state. He kept trying to run, like he was being assaulted. Quinn had to hold him and sing while Dylan just stroked his hair, raising his voice two octaves to sound more like Xander from Buffy, who he knew was his favorite TV character.

"It wasn't like the last dance I went to," he rambled out after a few minutes. "I _knew _they couldn't do anything like that, but I _felt..._"

"It's okay Blaine," Quinn softly replies. "It's okay to be afraid sometimes."

"We deal differently," Dylan says, squeezing his hand lightly. "When I get afraid, I fight. Always have."

"And you know that I turn into a giant, royal bitch," Quinn says, even her voice smiling.

"How could they _do _that?" he cries out in frustration.

"I don't know," Quinn answers.

"It won't go unpunished," Dylan soothes. "I'm sure Figgins'll agree to what I have in mind."

"What happens then?" Dave asks, slowly stepping toward them. "They still humiliated my man!"

"Being the former head bitch in charge," Quinn says, letting go of Blaine, "punishing the 'popular' kids with everyone else? Fastest way to flush out the bags of shit who did this."

"I'm not going back in there!" Blaine seethes, pointing an accusing finger in the Prom's general direction.

"We don't expect you to," Dylan replies, taking a step back with Quinn.

"Baby, we can just go home," Dave says comfortingly. "Get away from these assholes and just cuddle, plan our way out of this hickville."

Blaine takes his fiancé's hands and gently pushes them aside, looking at the ground. "I'd like that..."

Quinn and Dylan's hearts sink as they realize what's likely going to happen next.

"Baby?" Dave asks. "Please don't..."

Furiously wiping away his tears, Blaine wraps his arms around himself before responding. "I... I _can't _do all of this at once honey. It's... You're leaving next year, and yeah, I can go with you... but we couldn't _be together _for almost eight months. I... I **can't** do this alone and... it's too much too fast..."

"Blaine, think about this!" Dave cries out, his fear and desperation drowning out his voice.

Blaine takes his ring off, slowly, letting his tears fall on his hands. Unsteady, fumbling fingers deposit the band into the unwilling palm of the large Guardsman, a look of absolute disbelief on his face. "Thank you... for... just, stay perfect," he whispers out, grazing his fingers along Dave's jaw before making a determined path for the exit.

Dylan drags Quinn to Dave, both taking the ring to pocket it and aligning Quinn to hold Dave. He runs to catch up with his fellow fight clubber before he's left alone outside, remembering what happened three and a half years ago. Quinn's phone signals a text two minutes later, simply saying:

_Called a Cab._

_B n shrtly._

…

The gymnasium is silent as Dave and Quinn return, the absence of two performers not unnoticed. The defeated look on the former bully gives away what happened while they were being told _exactly _what kind of people they were. With no coordination the Gleeks, Jocks, and Cheerleaders send **waves **of intense distaste throughout the attendees, seemingly dropping the temperature at least ten degrees. About fifteen people point to the left side of the room and walk over, causing that side to empty. A few seconds later another thirty people join them.

"I... came up with the idea," Scott Copper admits, hanging his head. "They agreed to go along."

"I'm assuming there won't be any further problems?" Figgins asks, seeing that other than the forty-five people who singled themselves out, there are nothing but nods. "Good. Will all chaperons other than Will, Sue, and the Logan women escort these delinquents to the nearest SRC room please? Thank you. Well, given the circumstances, our runner-up. This year's Junior Prom Queen is... Lauren Zizes!"

While watching the matching smiles on his boyfriend's face and this Lauren chick, Noah can't help but smile himself. _It's about time a badass chick earns the crown. She can give any __**two **__of us a run for BAMF – other than Dylan._ His cheering is the loudest, despite his one hand on his new best friend's shoulder.

As Santana, Quinn, Tina, and Brittany sing _Dancing Queen_, the remaining students watch and dance along with the odd King and Queen. Who'd've thought the resident gay and fat chick would make it? Than again, this was Lima Ohio, and depending on how you look at it, it's either 'The Land Time Forgot' or "A Hope For Those Trapped In The Midwest.' Right now though, it still seemed like a cheesy 80's soap opera like Dallas or As The World Turns.

* * *

><p>Gaano kalayo ang iyong pagpunta sa pumunta? How far are yo going to go?<p>

Ako problema hindi snapping kanyang leeg at bumababa sa kanya pababa sa isang minahan baras. _I have no problem snapping his neck and dropping him down a mine shaft._

Hindi ko kung kami ay hinuli o isang bagay?Ay ito kahalaga ito? _I don't know. What if we're caught or something? Is it worth it?_


	15. Recovery From a Self-Made Disaster

Sorry this has taken so long guys, but IT'S HERE! The final chapter to this story!

Long story short, I had a talk with someone and had a six month guilt trip about writing stories rather than applying for jobs that aren't going to hire me as an actual employee. And my phone sucks for writing on most of the buses I take. I ended up getting a tablet, but not only is the digitizer failing on it, it's impossible for me to use it on a bus or trolley.

Anyway, here's the final chapter. I have a strong desire to make at least one sequel to this, just a one-shot. Keep an eye out.

* * *

><p>Recovery from A Self-Made Disaster<p>

Kurt and Noah spent Prom night and Saturday just cuddling, embracing the fact that over the time they've been together they had worked out their issues. Noah had wanted to propose at some point – there was even video of it – and Kurt had, without thinking, fought off the flashpoint of Noah's abandonment issues. Friday had put quite a lot in perspective and, after retrospection, all couples that still existed after the prom would stay together, even if they had to spend a year apart.

Explaining what had happened Saturday morning, however, wasn't as easy.

"They did _what_?!" Burt roared. "What if that Blaine kid wasn't there? Would it have been **you**?!"

"It likely would have," Kurt coldly replied, not bothered because while being humiliated in front of his entire class would royally suck, he was strong enough to endure it now.

"It's taken care of though," Noah replies as he absently runs his left hand through his hair. _It's almost time to begin thinking of a styling plan._

"What do you mean Noah?" Carole replies, half-hiding the disdain in her voice over what had happened.

"Coach Sylvester and Figgins are going to suspend their credits for this year, hold them in the SRC, and in addition to summer school they'll need to complete 200 hours of community outreach," Kurt replies, his uncertainty showing through.

"Rachel and Santana explained that if they mess up, even once, it's over," Finn says in a thoughtful manner. "They have until August 8th to finish their community service, otherwise they stay Juniors."

Both parents raise their eyebrows in disbelief. "Wait, so they'd be there _longer_?" they ask in unison.

"Act like a Lima Loser and don't learn your lesson," Noah begins.

"Pay the price and stay here," Kurt finishes, placing a kiss to Noah's cheek.

Burt and Carole smile, giving each other a kiss as well. They share a look and both take a bite of their breakfast burrito at the same time. "You sure this is vegan?" Burt asks.

(_)

"_Hello?_"

"Hey, it's Dave. Umm, have you heard from Blaine or Dylan at all since prom?" he asks, almost panicked.

"_Now that you mention it, I haven't,_" Noah says as he obviously begins rustling around. "_I'm pretty sure... nope babe hasn't either._"

"Okay, thanks. Enjoy what's left of the weekend," Dave replies, obviously disappointed. He's about to call Azimio when he gets a text.

_Something happened after prom. You two need to talk. Monday._

_Dylan_

_ "_What the hell does that mean?" Dave begins to crawl FaceBook and Twitter, finding no updates from Dylan, Blaine, Cooper (no surprise there), or anyone that turned themselves in for being the douches they are. It's even more odd heading for the Rude Pundit's blog and FourSquare – no activity there either. He decides to reply to the text.

_You're on Blaine's phone? What happened? You two didn't hookup, did you?_

It takes about ten minutes for a reply, but it does come in.

_To be honest, I wish it was that simple and clear-cut._

_No, we didn't hookup. Blaine... wasn't in any condition._

It falls into place and Dave collapses. As thoughts begin to swim furiously in his mind, another text comes through.

_It wasn't your fault. It wasn't even Blaine's really. Please listen to him when you two talk._

It's both a comfort and a source of distress. _He's blaming himself for this. I'm positive._

(_)

Glee club seemed almost normal on Monday. On the way in the Bully Whips had nothing to do, everyone was cordial to each other (or at least indifferent), and it felt like a new normal. That was until it was time for glee to start and they were still missing two members. Before anyone could ask, a wave of silence swept through the halls. A strong, foreboding feeling began to permeate the room. A minute later, Coach Sylvester walks in, Dylan in front of her and Blaine behind her. Blaine takes a seat next to Rachel, Sue next to Kurt. It's evident that all three had been crying.

"Mr. Schue, may I?" Dylan asks, his eyes pleading with him.

"Sure," he quickly and softly replies, taking a seat next to Sue.

Dylan, dressed simply in a pair of boot-cut blue-jeans and a Blue Sun t-shirt, shoves his hands in his pockets and fidgets a little. It's the first time anyone other than Dave have seen him nervous or pensive. He looks to Sue, who nods, then Blaine, who does the same.

"A lot happened both _during _prom and _after_. Umm... You guys know how I bailed after Lauren and Kurt began dancing, right? Umm, It's a good thing, because I went to Blaine's. He... didn't handle the aftermath well either. While I was donating blood for him, I saw Coach Sylvester there."

"I was already there," she says, her voice cracking just slightly. "I've actually been there pretty much like it's a second home for three weeks."

"Please get to the point," Jessie says, bored. "You don't have Vocal Adrenaline, but you still need to be at your best."

Dylan glares at him, earning only a look of uninterested impatience. "Sue was there because Jean's been sick for a few weeks. Some kind of pneumonia. She... died... last night," he chokes out, a few tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Kurt's hand instantly reaches over and gives Sue's hand a squeeze, as does Will. "I need to discuss something with the rest of the club, but Dave, Blaine, you two can use Mr. Schue's office to have the discussion I've been telling you about."

Once the former couple are out of the room, Finn stands and moves next to Dylan. "I know you almost destroyed us a few times last year, and wanted to this year, but we'll help you Coach."

Her grip on both Kurt's and Will's hands increases as she looks him in the eyes. "Why?"

"Yes, why?" Jessie stands and pushes the other two teens back. "You need to focus on Nationals, not someone dying. Death is part of life, we shouldn't dwell on it."

"How can you be so heartless?!" Mercedes hisses. "This might not _seem _important to **you**, but it is to us. I'm in."

"Me too," Quinn replies. "There's no reason we can't do both."

"As your consultant, I forbid it. It's a distraction."

Before a now-pissed off Will can say anything, the wave of fury that is an angry Rachel sweeps to the front of the room. The sonic boom, signaling her arrival, is actually her **punching **her former boyfriend.

"How can you be so heartless?" she wails. "Coach Sylvester lost her _sister_. The only family **or **friend that's been _**real**_!"

"That's a part of-"

"**Shut it**!" Rachel screams, causing all other activity to cease, a crowd forming around the doorways. "Even though you, _humiliated _me last year at _my own school_, I though you had just a little bit of humanity. A soul. You _don't_! You're just some kind of lying show choir machine! And I almost turned into you..." she says, shaking her head. She looks to Finn and Dylan for help, Finn quickly taking Rachel and moving her to safety. _This isn't going to be pretty_.

"Well, if that's how you feel," Jessie says as he moves to the door. "Then fine, I quit. Congratulations to your pre-emptive loss at Nationals.

"Don't let the door hit you on your ass on your way out asshole," Kurt seethes as they watch him leave.

"I'm assuming most of you can take care of the arrangements needed for Jean's service?" Dylan asks. "I'm not good on _public _stuff like this." Kurt and Finn agree to help Sue, while Quinn, Noah, and Mercedes work with Sue to ensure that both her views on God and Jean's are expressed. Blaine and Dave emerge from the office, both crying. Blaine roboticly moves to the chairs while Dave runs out of the room as quickly as possible. Rachel pushes Dylan back to the chairs and runs out herself.

(_)

"Hey," Blaine announces as Dylan exits the locker room after gym.

"Hey," Dylan answers. "How are you holding up?"

Blaine looks to the floor for a second before almost looking into the fearless teen's eyes. "I, guess I'm dealing," he says with a shrug. "I gave the ring back. Again. And... if you two want to get together..."

Dylan cups Blaine's face for a second, hoping that it'll calm him down a bit. "Too soon," He says as he leans against a row of lockers. "I know we talked about this, but, looking at it now... do you blame me for this?"

A flash of anger crosses the face of the former Warbler as he narrows his eyes. "I still mean what I said. I don't blame you and neither does David!"

"Sorry!" the larger teen replies as he raises his hands in surrender. "I'm... just _tired _of how much drama seems to follow me," he says as he slowly pushes off from the lockers, throwing an arm around the lithe yet solid teen. "I... this seems **really **stupid, but I don't like being happy if my friends are sad or sullen."

Blaine gives his friend an incredulous look as he replies. "So it's okay for you to be miserable, as long as everyone around you's happy?"

"Basically," comes the flat reply. "That seems to be the static norm of nature."

"Dude, what the hell?!" Blaine almost shouts as he stops them in the middle of the hallway. "So _that's _what this is about."

"Say what?"

"It's okay for others to be _happy_, even if you _aren't_," Blaine supplies. His features show the honesty and belief in what he's saying.

Dylan nods and begins walking again. "Thanks," he says, a slight tremble in his voice.

"Anytime," Blaine replies, smiling.

(_)

"Jean..." Sue starts then stops, fighting back tears. "She believed that God existed. She..."

"Didn't blame God for making her different?" Mercedes finishes as Quinn researches the funereal home used by the Sylvester's Assisted Living community. "Who are we to say He got it wrong?"

"We're nobody," Noah quickly says. "He, you know, gave us so many different explanations as to what he wants. It's _our _fault for not liking the message and doing what we want anyway."

Sue looks right at Noah and, for the first time, it isn't with a message of distaste. "I guess... I've never looked at it that way."

"That was a little simplistic, but it does succinctly make the point Puck," Quinn replies, giving a wan smile. "Should we, um, have a Priest or Reverend Coach?"

"I actually don't know," Sue answers with a sigh. She hangs her head, and it's apparent that she's fighting a breakdown.

"We can come back later Coach," Mercedes says in a knowing tone. "Do you want us to bring back some food for you if we're out?"

"Yeah... sure," comes her non-commital reply.

After the door's closed to the Cheerio's office a soft wail can be heard just outside. Without thinking Quinn turns on a stereo and leaves it on WIMA, despite a Best Of featuring Glenn Beck. Pleased that it'll do the job she wants she begins walking toward the parking lot.

"Um, Puck? When we get to the Home, could you help Kurt, Finn and the facility?" she asks.

"Yeah, sure. But, what are you going to do?"

"I thought Mercedes and I could see if there's a Chaplin or something, find out if Jean attended services," Quinn replies, tired eyes assessing the dark diva's reaction.

"That sounds like a plan," she replies, resting a hand on Noah's shoulder. "You doing okay?"

Noah takes her hand in his and gives a gentle squeeze. "Yeah, it's just... this' been a shit week, y'know?"

Mercedes mimics the movement and gives a sad, but genuine smile. "At least this happened _now_, with students that truly care. Are you going to be able to hold up?"

Noah, not ignorant of how _ironic _it is to be not only talking to two of his exes, but to be working _with _them this intimately, briefly chuckles. "Both of you put up with my ass for about a week. I guess this is karma or something for me being a bastard to you both, huh?"

A nervous, detached chuckle fills the hallway as they make the way to Quinn's Tercel.

(_)

"Is anyone going to want to, uh, deliver a eulogy?" Will asks as sad looks are exchanged.

"Does anyone really know her other than Coach Sylvester?" Dylan asks with a voice twinged with shame.

"I think Kurt and I know something about her," Finn answers. "Is it okay if I at least say something?" He seems oblivious to the looks he's getting from his gleemates, but he is in fact just ignoring them.

"That's... impressive Finn," Rachel says meekly. "I could help you, if you want."

"I'd like that, thanks," he replies with a genuine smile.

"So, umm, about Nationals," Will starts. "We had great luck with original songs-"

"-Mercedes'll do her song, we'll write another group number," Sunshine says as she cuts off the teacher.

"We'll have plenty of time to write them once this is over," Azimio adds. "And I think it might be a bad idea to do anything else before this mess with the Coach's sister's done."

Nodding in agreement, the group begins putting together a plan for their... associate? Coach Sue Sylvester might be done trying to end the Glee Club, but she wasn't exactly an ally as of now...

(_)

At the close of the funeral services all of the attendees begin slumbering off, a wake being too much for the devastated coach. It does not go unnoticed that Finn and Rachel wander off together. It's likely that they realize their feelings for each other have not died, and in fact may have grown in spite of their time apart. Dave and Dylan ride off on his motorcycle as Mercedes, Azimio, and Blaine drive off together. Kurt and Noah begin walking arm-in-arm toward his truck just as it starts to rain.

"I'm glad this went well," Kurt says as he nuzzles into Noah's side. "It wasn't as..."

"Hideously somber as a normal one?" Noah finishes, pulling his soulmate closer to him.

"It's just," Kurt begins, but stops, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "When something like this happens I just... I don't know, want to... change what I want out of life."

Noah stops cold, causing Kurt to jut back and protest. Kurt sees the look on the tanned face of his boyfriend, a look of horrified sorrow. Noah doesn't even realize that he's begun to silently cry.

"No, no, no," Kurt croons as he wipes the tears away, pressing a chaste kiss to Noah's lips. "Now... it's not a bad thing sweets," Kurt continues as he pulls himself as tight as possible into Noah's body. "Whatever happens to us, I want _you _there with me."

"What..." Noah starts, his voice shaky. "What if we both bomb, and have to live in Central Park or something? I might not be-"

After a surprise kiss to cut Noah off, Kurt gives him a reassuring squeeze. "I don't care. I love you, Noah Elijah Puckerman. _No matter what!_"

Noah smiles at this _perfect _person standing before him. Before he even realizes that he says it, it comes out. "What did I do to deserve someone as perfect as you?"

Kurt buries himself in Noah's warm chest and answers. "You finally opened your eyes."

(_)

Kurt slowly and carefully pulls his arms from around Noah after noticing that it's three in the morning and he's wide awake. He quickly and silently pulls the duvet back up and stealthily opens a drawer, pulls out a folder, grabs his robe, and ascends the stairs. He's surprised to see that not only is the kitchen light on, but both Carole and his dad are awake.

"Umm, morning mom, dad," Kurt mumbles as he makes a bee-line to the coffee maker.

"You couldn't sleep either hun?" Carole asks before a yawn overtakes her.

"No," Kurt replies and takes a long sip from his 'Little Monster' mug. "I guess my mind and body just had enough."

Burt successfully hides his smirk behind an invoice report, but lets his sigh escape. "What's on your mind kiddo?"

"I need to... _talktoyouaboutsomething_," Kurt mumbles out, sliding the folder over to his parents.

When they pull the papers out their jaws drop, with Burt almost staining them with a mouthful of coffee. "Kurt, are you _serious?!_" Burt quietly yet forcefully demands.

"I am dad," Kurt replies smoothly. _Maybe I _am _too cheerful when I first wake up._ "And that's also why I've picked up so many shifts at the shop." He then reaches into his robe pocket and pulls out two boxes.

"Oh my God, Kurt!" Carole quietly gasps as she looks inside them. "They're amazing!" she stares in approval as she shows them to Burt. "But what about your plans?"

"Are you _sure _son?" Burt asks as he hands the boxes back, placing a hand on Carole's to comfort her.

"I do dad," Kurt says as he heaves a happy sigh while stashing the boxes. "He's the one."

"Well, I guess we better get these papers signed then," Carole says as she takes the pen off of the "Shopping List" magnet from the fridge. "How do you plan to..."

"How'd you already get Nora to sign these?" Burt asks as the documents are slid to him.

"I'm just fabulous like that," Kurt replies as he drains his mug of coffee.

(_)

"Okay, against my better judgment," Will starts, ignoring the fact most of the gleeks aren't listening. "I've assigned rooms based on coupling. Kurt, you and Puck are room 1244. Brittany, Santana, Artie, you're room 1245. Finn, Rachel, room 1246. Mike, Tina, room 1247. Dave, Dylan, room 1248. Sun-"

"Wait, I have a room next to Purt?" Finn says, his face blushing.

"Relax bro, we'll make sure to _both _wear gags, okay?" Kurt says in a playfully teasing tone, causing Rachel, Santana, Artie, Dylan, and Azimio smirk.

"Sunshine and Blaine, room 1249; Mercedes and Azimio, room 1250; Sam and Quinn, room 1251. I'll be in room 1252." After handing out the keycards he waits for a split second before it's too late to stop them. "Since you already have the opener done, I'll let _today _and today only be your goofing day. Just be back in the suite before eight, okay?"

In an instant, everyone disperses: Tina and Mike grab Blaine and Sunshine and run off in one direction while Artie almost screams as Brittany jumps into his lap and Santana breaks into a sprint behind them. Finn and Rachel join Quinn and Sam, hands joined, as they giggle to the central elevator. Mercedes and Azimio give Purt a knowing smirk as they dash to their room, leaving the couple blinking.

"Did any time at _all _pass, because I can **still **smell Mr. Schue's CK1," Kurt sighs out as he grabs his two large luggage cases and saunters to their room.

"Does two seconds count babe?" Noah answers as he takes his backpack and travel bag, following/staring at Kurt's ass.

"Well this is good though," Kurt replies as he hops into an elevator and smiles when '12' is already lit. "I need to make a call as soon as we get to the room though."

"What for?" Noah asks, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend.

"You'll see when we get there sweets," Kurt replies, placing a kiss to the back of Noah's jaw.

"_Pervs,_" someone says. It's barely audible, but it's said then the car becomes silent. A flash of intense anger shows on the teen's faces for just a millisecond, but it's enough for an older man in a lavish business suit to hit the 'Stop Car' button and glare at the other occupants.

"So, someone has a problem with two people being together?" the man says with a thick Bayou accent, glaring at anyone not either looking at him or the elevator door. He places a hand lightly on Kurt's shoulder and nods to Noah before speaking again. "What if these two boys were your sons or brothers, what then? Would you still be a homophobe douche?"

"It just wigs me out," the offending woman replies. "So what?"

"Yeah?" Noah says, glaring at the woman. "Yeah? Well, keep it to yourself bitch!" She hangs her head at this and blushes a deep red. The other occupants just smirk and nod at the couple, indicating they should move again.

"Dang it! It skipped the seventh floor," the man says, causing the car to fill with giggles.

"You didn't have to get _that _defensive," Kurt says as they make their way to their room for the next week.

"You know I had to babe," Noah says, stopping them to place a quick, soft kiss to Kurt's lips. "Shut her the fuck up, didn't it?"

"Well," Kurt says, "I like it," he says as he inserts the keycard, kissing Noah, and opening the door. As soon as they're inside Kurt sets the cases inside the closet, takes Noah's bags, and pushes him into the bathroom. "I need to make that call and it's a surprise, so I'll make the call and get your outfit ready."

"Wait, outfit-" Noah starts to ask.

"You, bathroom, naked, _now_," Kurt replies, smiling.

"I like bossy Kurt!" Noah says with a smirk as he closes the door and begins to strip.

Once he's satisfied Noah's busy, Kurt takes out his iPhone, dials 311, and waits for an answer.

"_New York City Clerk's office how can I direct your call?"_

"I'm Kurt Hummel and I'd like to check on a license. License number M33490232."

"_Just a second... … … Okay, it's been approved and your appoint is for 1:25 tomorrow._"

"About that... Can I move it up to today? We're here on business and I can't risk not having the time."

"_If you can get to the Manhattan office at 12:45 or the Bronx office at 1:30, then yeah._"

"Bronx office please. The hotel's on the D line," Kurt replies, smiling.

"_Congratulations on your special day, and may the two of you have a great life together,_" the operator says as she disconnects the call.

_1:30? It's almost eleven now, so yeah, we can make it._ Kurt can't hide the smile as he picks out Noah's new outfit: A pair of navy blue slacks, an emerald green button-up, an earth-tone tan vest, and a silver pocket watch. Which compliments Kurt's brighter pastel version. The lithe teen ignores the looks of confusion given by his boyfriend.

_What in the hell does Kurt have planned? _Noah asks himself as he gets dressed, smiling.

(_)

"What, what's this?" Dave asks as he steps out of the cab.

"It's the Wollman Ice Skating Rink," Dylan replies as he signs the receipt and pats the side of the cab.

"Yeah, but... why?" Dave replies, confused.

"Because you used to play and stopped when you got too much shit for doing it," the larger teen replies, as though the answer was obvious.

"...Okay... but seriously?"

"Just shut that handsome mouth and follow me," Dylan playfully yet with authority says as he marches to the doors, pulling something out of his jacket.

The door opens after a rather loud knock and once inside the cold makes Dave jump slightly.

"You forgot just how cold it is, didn't you?" Dylan asks as he shirks his jacket off and heads toward the bathrooms.

"Um, babe?" Dave says, getting the other teen's attention. "Lockers are _that _way."

Dylan just looks to where Dave points, to where he was going, and breaks out in laughter. One of the attendants joins in, but reeling it in as he looks between the two large teens.

"So, what are we going to do here then?" Dave asks as he begins to wonder if this was always the plan once he knew he was going to be in New York.

"I'm going to show you up on the ice, of course," Dylan replies with a smile, placing a chaste kiss to Dave's lips.

Dave smirks as he runs a hand up Dylan's shirt and tweaks a nipple. "Not a chance babe!"

(_)

"Hey, babe? Why are we at City Hall?" Noah asks as they make their third turn from the train.

"You'll see sweets, and I promise you'll like it!" Kurt chirps as he nuzzles Noah, careful not to brush his jacket against the young man.

"I mean, yeah, it's an okay building, but..." Noah tilts his head to Kurt, "don't you want lunch somewhere nice? Or a walk in Central Park or something?"

"That's _so _tourist-y Noah," Kurt replies. "We're going to live here, remember?"

Noah chuckles, squeezing Kurt's hand in response. "Not for over a year babe!"

"Still, it's so hard finding a good place to even _rent _here," Kurt goes on as they enter the building. "We need to look early and hope we can get in to a somewhat soundproof unit that's rent controlled."

"Three hours and you sound like a native," Noah smiles, bring their joined hands to kiss the smaller teen's.

"Still got me beat by two hours love," Kurt replies, hitting a button on the elevator. "We're almost there, I promise."

"But why are we here, unless..." Noah trails off, suddenly realizing what this _likely _is. He's lost in a fog as he just lets Kurt lead them through two hallways. _But, __**I'd **__have to know, right? I mean, he just couldn't *bam__*** **__have a license, right? Wait... Ma's been _awfully _happy the last week or so..._

"Okay, we're here sweets!" Kurt says as he produces a folder, handing it to the man sitting behind the counter.

"Kurt, are you..?" Noah asks, both nervous and overjoyed at the same time.

The man looks up at the tone in Noah's voice. "Wait, you were just going to..."

"Yes!" Kurt seethes at the clerk, glaring with hope.

"Alright... Mr. Puckerman, if you could check one of these two boxes on each page, and sign the bottom too," the clerk asks nicely with a helping of sympathy.

Noah doesn't even read the papers, just checks both of the 'Hummel' boxes and signs the pages. "Did I just do what I think I just did?" he asks no one in particular.

"Not yet," the clerk says under his breath, handing Kurt another set of papers and a receipt printout. "At the fountain down that hall, in the courtyard."

"Thank you Jared," Kurt replies, nodding. He pulls Noah out of his chair and in the indicated direction.

"Kurt, wait," Noah says, pulling them to a stop. "Are you sure you want to do this, that I'm **the one**?"

"Now who's got cold feet?" Kurt says as he pulls them forward.

Noah stays silent as they walk for the next five minutes. Once there, there's about a dozen couples there as well. _Shit! It's really gonna happen! I'm gonna be married... to Kurt Hummel! _He smiles as he scans the couples, offering Drag-Queen-Quick appraisals. _She's a little too trashy for me... he looks like a double-A douche... please don't have kids you two... Nope. I'm gonna have the best looking one._

"Okay, we'll begin," says a forty-something woman, obviously the Justice of the Peace for them. "And I'll let you people know, this is just the legal part of things. When we're done, you'll be _legally _married. Any ceremony you want can still be done, assuming your chosen venue allows it."

Most of the couples nod, one of them being Noah and Kurt. There are two other gay couples, along with a lesbian couple off to their left. The looks on everyone's face is similar to the one even adults get when one of their birthday presents absolutely _dwarfs _the others.

"We are gathered here today to join these couples legally in the contract of marriage. To bind them to each other in name, being, before the eyes of the law. Are there persons present to object to the unions of any of these assembled couples?"

She continues after a handful of protesters stop shouting passages of Leviticus, leaving out _many _of the other laws spelled out between passages they yell. "Will the ring-bearers present the rings?" Kurt pulls out both boxes and hands the grey one to Noah. He then opens his azure one, takes out the ring, and places it on Noah's finger.

"The receiving partner, please present your ring." Noah opens his and sees the pattern on Kurt's ring is a relief of the one now on his. It's a perfect compliment, and each ring is bonded to a ring with the design Noah had picked out for their engagement rings... before his mom and sister barged in on him.

"By the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you, married. You may kiss!" the Justice says joyously. Each couple kisses with passion, but none more than Kurt and Noah.

(_)

"Holy crap Tina!" Mike screams. "Julliard?!"

"Yep!" Tina mocks. "I know your dad wants you to be a Doctor, just like my mom wants me to be a teacher. But watching you dance, how the music just, _flows _through you... you're meant to be a dancer, not a doctor."

"Which is why you should be here, not at UCSF Medical School," Sunshine finishes.

"Um, why am _I _here though?" Blaine asks, his eyes shining with delight at being in their dance hall.

"Because unless you want to go to USC, which isn't as prestigious, this is the right school," Tina says as she sets up a sound dock.

"So we just dance here?" Mike asks sceptically.

"That's the plan," Sunshine says as she begins to stretch.

"Free-form then?" Blaine asks as he loosens his bowtie and shirt.

"Ready?" Tina asks.

"I guess babe," Mike replies as Sunshine nods.

[The teens just move around languidly]

Livin' in the darkness  
>Sleepin' in the light of day<br>Waitin' on the bad luck to pass  
>When there ain't no other way<br>The strong will carry on  
>While the weak get trampled down<br>The only way to know yourself  
>Is when the hard times come around<p>

[Mike and Blaine begin to move with more purpose, Sunshine and Tina just behind them]  
>Though I may be down and out<br>But you best not believe  
>I could fall down twenty flights<br>And still land on my feet

[Their energy increases and all four begin to let loose, Tina and Blaine using more tap-intensive steps]  
>Just prove me wrong<br>Gotta prove me wrong

You can't tie me down to one place  
>There's fire in my feet<br>And I'll be right at home again  
>Anywhere on the street<br>Take my freedom from me  
>Put me where I don't belong<p>

[The four turn it into a four-way face-off]  
>And I will come back twice as strong<br>Just prove me wrong  
>Just prove me wrong<p>

[They resume their slow movements but circle, reading each other]

Girl, when I wake up in the morning  
>Everything's lookin' bad to me<br>Gonna find a place that I can live  
>On my own terms and my own way<br>Raised up from this street  
>I've learned the way things have to be<br>I will rise above this wall that  
>Stands in front of me<p>

Just prove me wrong

[Tina has given up trying to upstage Mike and focuses her moves against Blaine, Sunshine keeping Mike on his heels, Blaine trying to circle Mike and Tina]  
>Lead me to the edge of everything that I desire<br>Let the passion burn in me  
>Like the flames of fire<br>Throw me in the deep end  
>Try to hold me down too long<br>And I will come back twice as strong  
>[Sunshine effortlessly slides between Mike and Blaine, playfully challenging Tina]<p>

Yeah, got... prove me wrong  
>Oh, prove it to me<br>Just prove me wrong  
>Well then, prove me, prove me wrong<br>Come on, prove me wrong

The sound of someone clapping stops them from their cool-down. An older man, still in shape, is smiling as he silently assesses this group of students. _Well, not students – I've never seen them before._

"My name's Lawrence, Lawrence Rhodes. Let me guess – you're with one of the Glee Clubs at the Nationals competition?"

"I'm sorry!" Tina blurts out. "Just – we're in New York and-"

"Tina, really?" Sunshine says as she places a hand on the young woman's arm. "We were assured that this would be okay since there won't be a class until four," she informs the man.

"It is," he replies, smiling. "I'm the one who approved it. I'm the Director of Dance here."

"Oh, wow," Mike whispers, suddenly embarrassed.

"How much of our... _routine_... did you see?" Blaine asks, not allowing his apprehension show.

"Everything from the, _eighth_ measure, I believe?" Lawrence replies. "I'm impressed. Have any of you had any formal training?"

"My girlfriend has," Mike says as he embraces Tina, smiling when he sees that the man doesn't look disappointed, "but the rest of us just like to dance."

"Well, are any of you going to be enrolling for the summer?" Lawrence asks, eyes full of anticipation.

"Sadly no," Sunshine replies, dejected. "I'm going back to Leyte, and Mike's going to be the first one here."

"Tina and I are Sophomores, so we'll only be Juniors next year," Blaine replies.

Lawrence nods and claps his hands before giving a nod. "Stop by admissions," he says as he makes his way out. "We have summer programs for all ages, and you can reserve a spot for when you graduate." He can _feel _the smiles and joy radiating from the four teens.

(_)

"Santana, really?!" Mercedes yelps as she's _again _having to explain the moves for her number. "For a mamá cita de los ardiente especias you ain't moving like it!"

"Wait, did you just use Spanish **correctly**?!" Santana shrieks in surprise.

"Whatcha think I did in Mr. Schue's class, eat Subway?" Mercedes snaps back.

"These moves aren't hard," Brittany pipes in. "When she goes 'ohoohhooohhh!' we move like this," she demonstrates by bobbing her head side to side as she rocks her shoulders in diva fashion.

"I just don't think Wheezy's ready for prime-time," Santana says as she plops down on one of the beds in the room.

"Santana," Rachel says as she sits next to her and lightly places a hand on the Latina's shoulder. "You got your shot at Sectionals, you guys let me have it back for Regionals, and it _is _'Cedes turn."

Santana hangs her head and puts her hand over Rachel's before responding. "Her turn last year _was_ stolen by Coach Sylvester and those bitches from Jane Addams."

"Girl, you know I want you up with me because you _are _a hot fiery momma, right?" Mercedes says as she sits down on Santana's other side. "Us divas gotta stick together!"

"Diva power!" Kurt says as he puts up a fist, which gets bumped by the other three.

"Okay guys, how about a half hour break?" Mr. Schue suggests, giving a knowing glance to Kurt's newly-ringed left hand.

"That works for me Mr. Schuester," he replies, settling into his so far _secret_ husband.

"Okay then," Will says as he rubs his hands. "We'll get some drinks up here and we'll give it one more run-through at five before dinner."

Everyone silently watches their teacher leave, making sure they hear the elevator door before getting a focus on Rachel, Purt, Dylan, and Blaine. It only takes a few seconds before the five begin sinking into themselves.

"Guys, it's up to them to tell their stories, if they even want to," Quinn says, a maternal edge to her words.

Rachel looks to Finn, her eyes shimmering, then to Kurt. With their nods she clears her throat.

"That day, when I lost it," she begins, her voice measured, "I was bullied by Vocal Adrenaline. They... _hacked _my MySpace page."

Sam just looks at her, knowing what she was intimating. The only other gleeks that aren't confused are Quinn, Dylan, Sunshine, and Santana... and Santana looks pissed.

"They **couldn't **have, could they?" Santana forcefully says, her voice a finely honed sword.

Rachel just nods, then shakes her head. "I knew... I _knew _that wearing that nightie for Jessie would backfire," she begins, nuzzling into Finn. "It just felt _wrong_, but I needed to, you know?" As she finishes, Sunshine looks to Dylan, who is tearing up, a look of betrayal on his face.

"That was when **I** discovered just how much of a slimebag Gooslby was," the Filipina girl says. "I... came up with a different story when I asked Dylan to help sabotage the choir." She then turns to her best friend, silent tears flowing down her face. "I'm sorry I lied to you, but-"

"I would have killed him," Dylan finishes as he turns his gaze to Rachel. "I still might."

"No, you're not going to," Rachel replies, a weak smile on her face. "My page was somehow restored and I haven't heard anything about... _that_, since."

"That would be my grandfather," Sunshine replies. "He works for the Chinese, and... he just did a cleanup. I'm so sorry it took so long."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Finn asks, not whining, just hurt. "I would have understood!"

"I didn't want you getting hurt," she answers, looking up to his eyes. "You _wouldn't _have driven three hours and killed everyone who did it?"

"Their heads are like tires right?" Finn replies. "They're full of hot air, aren't they?" A smirk can be seen on his face, along with Noah's, provoking a small chuckle from the group of friends.

"Is that all?" Azimo asks, intentionally conveying both his incredulity and released disdain for the incident. "That's one, who's next?"

"I paid the taxi to race back to my house," Blaine starts, his voice cold. "When, when I was attacked at my school before Dalton, that was one thing. It was, almost expected." He then looks to everyone, finishing and his eyes staying on Dave's as he continues. "I... I just couldn't handle it. I _KNEW _that it wasn't you, that it was someone who probably worships the Teaparty now, but..."

Dave takes Dylan's hand, who takes Mercedes' hand, who then takes Blaine's. "Sweetie, I never _was_, nor will I _ever_, be embarrassed by you," Dave replies, sending a squeeze to his hand through the chain. "I was honestly happy being with you – you're amazing! I know you know that."

"I know," the dapper young man replies. "I just, I don't know," he tries, sighing and sinks further into the sofa. "As soon as I got home, I ran into the garage and..." he trails off, spacing out. "I didn't even _think_, I just..."

"I got there **literally **eight minutes later," Dylan replies, pacing it so most of the group can hear him clearly through their tears. "I tried the kitchen, then passed the basement... that's when I heard the crash..."

"I, I managed to slice my arm, elbow to wrist, and across the wrist," Blaine finishes. "As soon as I did it, I regretted it," he admits, silent sobs filling his voice. "I _tried_ to get to the alarm panel, a phone..."

"He had the receiver off of a phone," Dylan finishes, sending another squeeze through the chain. "I used my phone to call 911 and triaged the cuts." He locks eyes with Blaine before continuing. "I wasn't going to let someone who made my best friend so happy go that way."

"And now he's _your _boyfriend," Artie replies. "We're like two and a half Fleetwood Macs."

That earns a round of laughter, lingering as room service delivers an ice cooler of sodas and bottled juices. The weight of this year's freakouts now lifted, they finish their drinks and rehearse one more time, nailing each movement and note.

Before Mr. Schue comes back, Brittany tells her 'family' "Maybe we can just work through our problems like the people on _Wicked Attractions_." Even though everyone laughs, they smile at the young blonde woman. She really _is_ a good friend...

(_)

"Dude, that was _amazing_!" Puck shrieks as they exit the stage, hugging and reveling in the performance high.

"I know, this is better than Rachel's party!" Santana croons as she sits in Artie's lap, Brittany kissing her as he hugs them both while Sunshine pushes his chair.

"This is the first time I've ever been **happy** when I was walking off stage," Sunshine says, her smile coming through her voice.

"Or _on_ stage," Dave replies, hugging Blaine from behind as Kurt pats his back.

"'Cedes, you were _amazing_!" Rachel says, hugging her friend. "You were-"

"Captivating?" the chocolate diva finishes, hugging back.

"That _was_ good guys," Mr. Schue agrees, "but this isn't over. There's two more performances before the judges start their work."

"Come on Mr. S," Kurt replies, a little arrogantly. "Can they possibly be better than us?"

"I don't think so," Quinn smiles, smirking. "There aren't any other groups with a mix of football players, cheerleaders, and just normal kids."

"You insult me," Dylan and Sam both reply at once, faux-insulted, one sounding like John D'Lancie, the other a fair impersonation of Jerri Ryan.

"Let's just see what they bring," Will replies, with a little more smugness than he felt.

(_Boring_)

The wait was almost impossible. The last performance was at half past one. It was now four, and it didn't look like _anything _was happening. Everyone was just enjoying each other's company, but was also hoping that they'd won. It's been a long year, with relationships changing, breaking, reforming, along with everyone themselves.

_4:11_

"This is taking _forever_!" Dave groans, angrily locking his phone and putting it in his pocket.

"You're just saying that because I was kicking your ass," Azimio replies, smirking as he pockets his phone.

"I still can't believe _Azimio's _a better speller than you are," Kurt replies, exhausted.

"I can't believe you got married and didn't tell us," Brittany replies as she rubs Santana's back, Santana massaging Artie's feet. He can't feel it of course, but it still seems to relax him.

"**WHAT?!**" the group cries all at once, frozen in their activities – except Tina, who spews her coffee on a shocked Mike.

"When the hell did you get married?!" Mike asks, trying to remember who they were talking about, wondering why he smells like a Starbucks mocha latte.

Noah lowers his head while smirking, tucking his face into Kurt's chest, lightly grabbing his lapels. "Damn, not even to packing up."

Kurt, rather than being embarrassed (as he would have been before), just laughs and holds his husband. "I guess you win our bet then."

"Another bet?" Dave asks, some slight alarm in his voice. Santana and Rachel give each other a look, shared by Azimio.

"We wanted to try and get back home before anyone figured it out. I bet my boy that we'd get to at least pack before anyone got suspicious," Noah replies, some amused chuckling infecting his voice.

"And I lost. I thought we'd at least get back to school," Kurt says, trying not to giggle.

Brittany's the first to recover and runs to the couple, wrapping them in a strong hug.

"I'm so happy for you guys! Did you get unicorns and a dolphin cake?"

"Brits, there's two parts to a marriage," Santana calls to her, smiling warmly.

"Have you chosen a venue yet?" Will asks, smiling with pride. _Who knew these two would get it together first?_

"No, and we're open to having it at the end of Senior year." Noah replies, almost done laughing.

"We can grill Purt later, they're putting up the placement board!" Rachel squeals, holding her fisted hands to her mouth. She grabs Finn and Sunshine as she sprints to the board.

"We should at least be on there, right?" Mercedes says, approaching cautiously.

"The judges would be _insane _not to put us in the top ten," Will replies, certainty and confidence dripping from his words.

Even with several dozen groans and cries of despair coming from the area the trio were lost in, there were some shouts of victory, and at first everyone thought that they saw Finn jumping up and down. It wasn't him though – it was larger boy from one of the Southern choirs. The crowd began to part, mostly from force, and while the din of the large crowd was immense, it didn't stop the brightness of the smiles on the faces of Finn, Rachel, and Sunshine.

"Well?!" Sam and Quinn both ask, looking nervous and antsy.

Just then, the crowd disperses. The obvious winners are hugging, putting the leads on their shoulders, their directors giving congratulatory words (some were fake though – they likely didn't place high _enough_), but the board became legible, starting at the bottom.

_ 10) Victory Falls Preparatory_

_ 9) Mountain Sweetness_

The rest weren't visible long enough to be read, but as they got closer they could read higher on the board. No one took a breath for several paces, several seconds, as the room slowed and every step felt like it took a lifetime.

_Number 3 – not us,_ Quinn thought as she smiled. _We must have done better._

_Number 2 – not us,_ Mercedes silently read, smirking. A quick scan down didn't reveal "New" in them.

"First place... New Directions..." Azimio read, his eyes widening. "So that means..."

"We kicked ass and **WON**!" Santana cried, jumping up and down, pulling Artie out of his chair and cradling him, planting kisses anywhere his glasses weren't covering.

_Next year should be interesting, _Will, Kurt, Blaine, Dave, Dylan, and Noah thought, all at the same time...

* * *

><p>I have an outline for another story. I just need to get the conviction to fill it in and get it out on a document.<p>

Thank you for your patience with this. You're all **awesome!**


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